The Bathrobe Knight: Volume 2 (20 page)

Read The Bathrobe Knight: Volume 2 Online

Authors: Charles Dean

Tags: #Science Fiction & Fantasy, #Fantasy, #Science Fiction, #Adventure, #TV; Movie; Video Game Adaptations

BOOK: The Bathrobe Knight: Volume 2
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              The ninjas took the field, and, before the fight even started they were splitting up, putting as much distance between them as they could. As they split up, Darwin and his two comrades pulled closer together as if anticipating their strategy. Then, one of the Feline female ninjas started talking to the Kimono Kitty. Kass couldn’t hear what the girl was saying, but she could tell it was angering Darwin. She hadn’t really seen Darwin mad before. She had seen him determined, near death struggling against insane odds, murdering people, dealing with all sorts of stress, but she hadn’t seen him plain mad. She hadn’t seen the look he had on his face as he stared at the girl who kept saying this and that to the Kimono Kitty. Then, as the timer counted down from three, the ninja girl backed up while laughing.
What in the world could she say to make Darwin angry like that?

Then, when zero struck, the two ninjas on the extreme sides started throwing what Kass could only assume were ninja stars.
They have to be ninja stars, right? What else would Ninjas throw?
This time, Mr. Tank Top just stood still. Every time a star came near him, he deflected it with his sword, but he didn’t move. He said something to Darwin, who then bolted in the direction of the first shuriken user. The girl, the one who wasn’t throwing anything, started to move towards Kimono Kitty, but Mr. Tank Top walked between them. It happened a few times and started to look like a game of “protect Kimono Kitty” from the evil ninja kitty girl.

              Meanwhile, Darwin chased after the male ninja star tosser with alarming success. Even though the Ninja tried to run, Darwin was clearly faster. As the Ninja turned and decided to throw caution to the wind and just sprint in the direction opposite Darwin, Darwin pulled out his Burriza’s Blade and threw it right into the ninja’s leg, transfixing him to the ground. He then finished closing the distance in an instant and took the ninja’s head off with one clean cut from his remaining sword while pulling the other sword out of the ninja’s leg with his empty hand.

              At this point, Darwin shifted and went in for a rear attack on the cat-girl who had angered him earlier while Kimono Kitty, having seen the now dead opponent, went after the other enemy. When the engagement between Darwin and the other ninja girl picked up, Mr. Tank Top started walking towards the remaining ninja star tosser. That ninja was so busy trying to out-maneuver the Kimono Kitty that she didn’t even notice Mr. Tank Top until the bright reflection of his moving katana shone through the audience to let them know the cat-girl was dead. Then he stopped, mid-fight, to pat the Kimono Kitty on the head and say something reassuring to her as they both approached Darwin and his opponent.

              Kass, having been caught up watching the surprise attack by the tank top guy, didn’t see Darwin’s battle at all. While the other two had picked off the second member, Darwin had disarmed the female Feline by chopping off her hands at some point. Mr. Tank Top, upon seeing it, stopped walking towards him. There were no words exchanged as Kimono Kitty and Mr. Tank Top watched Darwin further mutilate the female ninja warrior by cutting off her legs. When the handless, legless remaining mass of cat ninja hit the ground, lacking anything to support her, he walked over, stepped on her back, and then plunged both his blades right through her skull. Kass couldn’t make out what expressions were being exchanged, but she could see that even if Mr. Tank Top’s face stayed as stern as always, the Kimono Kitty was covering her face in horror. That wasn’t surprising: Kass found she was doing the same.

             
Is . . . Is that what Darwin is like when he is angry? Is that what he is capable of?
Kass mouthed, unable to take her eyes off the sliced-up body.

              “He is indeed an interesting man, young one,” The panda, not at all horrified or showing any disgust at the display, leaned forward, smiling. “Very interesting indeed.”

              Even though the Panda King had been very kind to her so far and clearly had displayed a great deal of humility and care for others despite his wealth and position, the way he complimented Darwin at that moment sent shivers down Kass’s spine.
That was brutal, unnecessarily wicked. That was not something that a kind man should have found interesting,
she worried momentarily.

              “If you say so, Robin, but I found that a little bothersome,” she admitted, still not taking her eyes off the two men in the middle of the arena who stood staring at each other like they were stuck in a cheesy western.

              “Young miss, I only mean his abilities. The cruelty I could have done without as well,” he said, easing Kass’s flaring instincts. “But, when it comes to a King trying to protect his people, beggars can’t be choosers. I still require someone of his talents to help me with a very important task. I am confident that you will act as a sheath for his temper, and calm him so that he does not repeat such barbaric acts in my name.”

              “As you say,” she nodded. The two men, Darwin and Mr. Tank Top, started approaching each other after a few minutes more of the Mexican standoff. Kass almost half expected Mr. Tank Top to try to chop him in half the same way he had done the last two enemies he casually walked up to, but when they reached each other, it was entirely different. They, at the same time, reached out and grasped each other’s arms in an old Nordic-looking handshake as they brought their free hands around for a quick handshake-plus-bro-hug. They then nodded at one another and walked towards the arena’s exit, talking again where Kass couldn’t hear. Her heart was still pounding though, half from the tense situation that felt like it would end in bloodshed and half from the feeling she got as she watched him dismember the woman.

              “Young miss, I think it’s time we go congratulate the winners over a cup of tea. I’m sure with how much running around you’ve been doing, you must also be thirsty,” the King said as he stood up.

              “Yes, I am very thirsty. Thank you for your consideration,” she said, standing up too.

              “Good, and I’d love to be introduced to this very intriguing young man of yours. What did you say his name was again?”

              “His name? Oh, it’s Darwin,” she said, stopping herself for a moment from adding in the usual titles that NPCs called him. It wasn’t that she thought of Darwin as anything but Darwin; it was just that she didn’t want to make waves with Alex when introducing him to other NPCs.

              “Alright, well, let’s get moving. We can’t have them waiting on their prize forever,” he said as they slowly descended the stairs.

              “Great King Robin!” the two tiger-men guards from earlier said, appearing on either side of him as soon as his feet hit solid ground. “Would you kindly allow us to escort you to the winner’s circle?”

              “There’s no need for that young ones,” he said, waving them off with his hand in an odd fashion that made Kass actually think he was summoning them closer. “It would give the winners the wrong impression to be greeted with skepticism first, rewards second.”

“But Great King Robin!” they protested. “Did you see how dangerous and cruel they are? If our presence sends the wrong message, we will take the blame. We only worry for your sake!”

“There is no need. I have a beautiful escort to help this old man avoid conflict. Relax and go return to your posts. If you must follow, it may bring some small shame on my position. Please don’t cause this old man to appear mistrustful,” he said, waving them off again.

This time, they just bowed and said, “Yes, Master!” and left.

“Are they always that excited when following your orders?”

“Mm, it depends on the order. This time, as much as they would have guarded me, they both probably already bought a cask of
sake
and were looking forward to being dismissed so they could drink it.”

“That seems rather irresponsible of a guard,” she noted, thinking about how that could actually lead to a serious problem.

“Ah, but I was worse than they at that age. I was sneaking away with the princess, so let’s not judge them,” he smiled.

 

Qasin
:

 

              Qasin’s eyes narrowed as he glared at Eve, who was still adjusting her black dress. She had saved the town, and no-one else in the peasant’s group had died because of her. She had done it so quickly and smoothly, in fact, that no-one had even sustained any additional injuries after she had cast her spell; but, for some reason, it irked Qasin. It didn’t just irk him a bit either. It annoyed him worse than being stuck behind a group of slow-walking people in a narrow hallway who insisted on talking so loud he could have heard them two rooms over. The problem was that there wasn’t a reason it should have annoyed him. Sure, she had been snappy when insisting that they leave immediately to continue their hunt, but she had turned the ship for him and completed his goal of saving the people. She had done what he wanted, to the letter, and now he was annoyed.
Why?

             
He didn’t get long to contemplate it though. The sword, it itched again. It itched worse than before the fight started. It was the same sensation he got when he skipped lunch but insisted on sneaking a sweet anyways. He wouldn’t notice he was hungry, the work would keep him occupied, but the second the sweet chocolate or snack touched his tongue, his stomach would wake up and growl with a fury. He would find himself starving where just a moment ago he hadn’t even known he was hungry. That’s why he was annoyed. That’s why the sword itched. He had been enjoying himself, and like a mother who stepped on the toy of a child and took away the whole set, Eve had intervened, and he now found himself without his playthings--without his enemies to kill.
Is this who I am?
he thought, looking down at his hand resting firmly on the grip of his blade.

              “Thank you!” a voice pierced his contemplations. “Thank you so much. Without you two, we’d all be dead. Is there anything we can do to repay you?”

              “Oh, um . . . Actually . . .” Qasin paused and looked at Eve. She would probably want a ship so that the two could continue their chase, but given what had been done to their harbor it was unlikely they had one to spare. “Is this going to be enough?” he finally voiced. Trying not to outright ask if there was anything left for him to kill. “Are you guys going to be safe now?”

              “Safe? From them? Yeah. From my wife? Not once she sees what our savior did to my fishing boat, ha ha ha. I won’t be killed, but I sure as heck won’t be safe!” one of the peasants laughed inappropriately. “Maybe the kind couple would let me flee with you two?”

              “I think your wife will be far less ugly than the monsters we are sure to encounter,” Eve said this time, answering for the Qasin, who wasn’t prepared for the fisherman’s response.

              “Stevens, come on now. Don’t worry about your wife at a time like this, we have to thank our heroes!” the leader of the guards that were holding off the pirates said, patting the worried husband on the back as he walked closer to Qasin and Eve. “Now heroes, my name is Jason. I’m the Captain of the town.”

             
Captain of the town? Not just the guards?
Qasin puzzled as he reached out his hand to shake Jason’s. “Qasin. I’m . . .”
do I introduce myself as a King, or a regular person? I’ve left the Kingdom in someone else’s hands, albeit someone who is supposedly trustworthy, but still not me. I’m still no longer the one responsible for the welfare of my people.

              “He’s the King of the Human faction, ruler of the White-Horns and Black-Horns,” Eve picked up his introduction for him, “and I’m Eve. A pleasure to meet you.”

              “A King, ey? I didn’t realize a small town like this warranted a King’s saving, but I’m glad you came,” Jason said, scratching his head, “It is surprising though. I mean, truth be told, even though we’ve been sending messengers out to the Panda King for years, he’s never sent anyone. I sure as heck didn’t expect him to contract another King.”

              “Well, the answer to that is easy, my dear,” Eve said, “It’s because we weren’t sent by him or anyone. We just saw your plight from afar on our way to the White-Walled City. A city we must desperately get to.”

              “Ugh, makes sense. I knew that tyra-- . . . I mean, I knew the Panda King wouldn’t get around to sending anyone to save a couple of Humans. If we were bears? Sure. He might even have sent someone if our tributes were larger, but not for poor, false monkeys like us,” Jason almost spit. The contempt was palpable as his voice quivered. Qasin was sure that if Eve weren’t there, the whole statement would have been riddled with profanities too. “Anyways, enough of that. How can we repay you? Anything you can name, it’s yours.”

              “A boat?” Qasin suggested. He knew the situation with the harbor, but he also knew that they might have one out at sea, one that they might talk the owner into selling rather cheap.

              “Yes, or lacking that, a pair of good horses,” Eve suggested. “Preferably one with a saddle that is friendly for a lady to ride.”

              “Hmmmmm . . .” Jason scratched his head again. “Stevens, you fish the same waters as that town up the coast to the east, right?”

              “Yeah, reckon I do. They have a lot better alcohol than old, cranky, blah blah what’s-his-name makes. You ever had their beer? It makes Tubs’ beer taste like piss and water,” Stevens said, laughing as the nearby Tubs’ face turned red. “Oh, don’t be get mad, Tubs. You’ll end up looking like a red, pickled, pepper-popped acne.”

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