The Bathrobe Knight: Volume 2 (23 page)

Kass thought for a minute about joining her in reassuring Darwin that he didn’t look stupid, especially since the bathrobe had been designed to match her white dress, but then decided that she would take the low road. “Well, at least he’s not wearing all black leather armor. I can’t tell if you all go to the same dungeon or if it’s just the same open mic poetry club.”

“Miss, that was just uncalled for. Louie here is an excellent poet. There is no need to tease him about it,” the archer who had first argued with Reginald said, eliciting nods from the other three.

“He really is. You should go sometime and listen.”

Kass had to struggle to resist the urge to facepalm yet again. “I’m sure he is,” she said, doing her best not to sound sarcastic.
How did I get held up at arrow point by these four bozos?

“Hey, do you guys feel something funny?” Louie asked, looking at the other seven.

“Like funny ‘ha ha’ or funny ‘strange’?” Reginald questioned as they kept walking.

“Funny ‘strange.’ I’m not the only one who feels it, right?” Louie continued, “It also smells different in here.”

“Louie, we’re in the middle of an ore mine,” one of the still unnamed archers said. “Of course it’s going to smell different. Did you expect it to smell like a garden of orchids and lilacs? Or are you trying to say one of us farted so bad it made this dung hole smell worse?”

“No, no, listen to Louie for a minute, Steve,” Reginald said, putting out his arm and stopping the group of them. “I think he’s right. Do you not smell that?”

“What, it doesn’t smell bad at all?” Steve said, sniffing in overly exaggerated gestures. “It just kind of smells like--”

“Like unripe tomatoes,” Kitchens interrupted the quarreling guards. “Cover your mouths!”

Everyone put a hand over their mouth, but for some it had been too late. Louie and Reginald, the first two to notice the smell, found themselves leaning against a wall and then sliding to the floor. Steve and the other archer followed suit with Minx not far behind.

Kass looked around, panicked. She didn’t know what was going on. She had covered her mouth, but she was already starting to feel the effects of whatever was invading her system. The cloth in front of her face was doing little to nothing to protect her. She saw Darwin and Kitchens running back the way they had entered, but as Kass tried to follow she soon found her legs giving way and starting to wobble. Before she knew it, she had tripped and was lying face down on the ground. “Darwin . . .” she managed to say softly, reaching in his direction as he barreled towards the exit. “Darwin . . . don’t l . . .”

You have been knocked unconscious. You have fifteen minutes until you will regain consciousness.

             
Again? Really? Why can’t I enter a silver ore mine without getting knocked unconscious?
Kass cursed, still worried about her friends. This was just like the time with the poker playing bear, except at least this time it was only a fifteen minute wait and not a two hour one. However, the short time aside, it didn’t assuage her concerns over what would happen while she was out.
He’s Darwin, right? He’s killed a Hydra by himself. He’ll be fine. He’ll be okay. I mean, there’s no way anything can hurt that doof. Nothing has ever hurt him. . .
She found herself doing her best to reassure herself despite the fact that Darwin was short a team and probably about to go into a fight. It didn’t help ease her mind that she wasn’t even aware of who or what he was up against and whether or not he was even conscious at the moment.
He’s Darwin. He’ll be fine . . . He’ll be fine.

Darwin
:

              “I’m afraid my senses are too dulled, Darwin. I won’t be much good to you in the fight ahead,” Kitchens noted as the two of them exited the cave.

              “Do we even know what we are fighting?” Darwin wondered, looking around at his surroundings.

              “I’m afraid we do, and, even with your ability, I don’t think we’ll win. My reflexes and Speed stat are too slow now. I won’t be able to help you much,” Kitchens said, spreading his legs and entering a stance that Darwin hadn’t seen him do in battle before. It was like an old-fashioned samurai stance from the movies, except done by a cat guy with a tank top instead of the usual ornately armor-covered, mask-wearing samurai.

              “Well, want to tell me who we’re fighting at least?” Darwin said, pulling out his two Burriza’s.

              “We’re fighting our friends from the arena, but this time they brought the whole crew,” Kitchens said.

              “How many?” Darwin thought, still not seeing any of them.
How on earth can he spot them? Did he just recognize the poison they used?

              “Eleven. Maybe more. I don’t know if they’ve recruited anyone since I left, but that poison back there was a nerve gas. It slowly ticks away at your Speed stat until you are unconscious. I have less than a minute or so left at most before I pass out, and until then I won’t be fast enough to take them on properly,” he said, closing his eyes and focusing on his blade. “This failure is mine: I should have noticed before the guards.”

              “No, it’s okay. I’ll take care of it for you,” Darwin said, looking at the man.
This may be it for me. Those ninjas weren’t tough, but if my Speed stat really is dropping, I’m a dead man.
“Just get some rest when your minute hits.”

              “I’ll see you in town when we respawn,” Kitchens said, planting his sword into the ground in front of him, leaning on it and then closing his eyes.

              Darwin thought about running, leaving Kitchens, Kass and them to die at the hands of the unseen assailants, but he just couldn’t justify it. Sure, if they died, it was just a simple matter of respawning, whereas his death may be more . . . permanent, but just the thought of abandoning them left an awful taste in his mouth.
They’re my friends. Don’t even think about it,
Darwin said to himself as he stared around at the woods surrounding the entrance to the mine.

              Then, after a good two or three minutes of waiting, one of the cat Ninjas, the one he had mutilated in the arena, popped out and took off her mask. “I must admit that I’m surprised to see you still standing. I thought surely if you breathed in the gas, you’d be out like a light by now.”

              “I guess I’m lucky,” Darwin said. He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do in this situation. As she was talking, more and more Felines popped out, each one in the same annoying black ninja outfit.

              “I wouldn’t say that. Their deaths will be peaceful. Yours on the other hand . . .” She touched the place on her wrists where he had chopped off her hands in the arena. “Your death will not be.”

              “That is still yet to be seen,” Darwin did his best at a snappy comeback. “You couldn’t beat me earlier, so what makes you think you can beat me here?”

              “Oh, it’s my friends, and your lack thereof,” she laughed then pulled out her dagger and started etching it across her own body as she threatened and taunted Darwin. “You see, first, I’m going to tie you up and drag you away so your friends won’t find you. Then, I’m going to cut off your fingers. Then I’m going to cut off your hands. Then I’m going to draw this blade up and down your body until . . .”

              Her taunts probably would have gone on for a while, but the hour mark hit and Hunger kicked in. His eyes flashed red, his hands moved on their own and he found himself charging at the vile woman with weapons out before he even fully realized what was happening to him.

              “G-g-get him!” she yelled as she did her best to block the first sword. She did manage to stop it from being fatal, but he still had left a gash five inches deep in her shoulder, leaving her screaming on the ground and unable to lift the arm she needed to stop the second swing, the swing that would have killed her if not for her allies.

              As soon as Darwin went for the final blow, three shuriken tore into his left arm, not crippling it, but sending enough pain up it to force him to twist and stop the fourth as he was pushed back from his prey. At that point, two ninjas who had been close by rushed at him with blades drawn.
This is bad. I can’t stop them both,
Darwin thought as he saw their speedy charge.
Well, if I can’t stop you both, I’m taking one of you with me,
he thought, pulling his swords up and parrying the ninja on the right with one blade while taking its head off with the second. It was a good, clean kill, but it came at a price. The other ninja, unchecked, had torn her weapon through his side. He couldn’t see his health bar but he knew it was down to 25 or 30% and dropping by the second from blood loss.

             
I . . . I’m going to die. I’m going to die. I don’t want to die. I don’t want to die!
he screamed in his head. It was the first time he actually felt himself to be in mortal danger since he entered the world. Other fights had been difficult, and sometimes they felt like winning was going to be downright impossible, but he had never been seriously hurt. He hadn’t ever been gashed so badly his life bar was going to empty and cause him to perish. In a blind grasp to control the situation, he turned around as quickly as he could and pounced on the ninja who had just stabbed him.
I don’t want to die . . .
His mind was still screaming as he stabbed her with his sword. She hadn’t gone down without a fight, the blade still firmly protruding from his leg bore tribute to the penalty he had paid for attacking her.

              “He . . . He’s weak! Get him!” the injured group leader screamed from the ground.

              Two more of the ninjas started barreling towards him in an attack formation, the same charge pattern that had left him so weak, so crippled.
I can’t stop them both. Stephanie, where are you, I c . . .
Darwin was beginning to feel the life slip out of him.
I can’t stop them . . .
He pulled himself together, cleared his head. He didn’t have but a second before they hit, and he had no idea how to block them. As they came in reach though, he gave up on the concept altogether.
If I have to die, you have to die too!
he shouted at them in his mind, too weak and mentally drained from the wound to put voice to the words as he waited for the last minute and then lashed out at both of them with his swords.
Success . . .
he thought, seeing their bodies fall before him, but the feeling of joy from the kills was short lived. They had landed their marks too. His knees buckled then collapsed to the ground, and slowly he fell forward onto his face, the force driving the sword in his leg even deeper.
Bye-bye . . .
he muttered to himself as the world went dark.

Soul Devourer has been activated and consumed your
44
soul charges. You have been restored to full life and will have a +50% increase on all stat values for 220 seconds after the resurrection process is complete.

Due to having no soul charges remaining, you will awaken with Hunger active.

This effect may not occur more than once an hour.

              Red flashed and pain surged throughout his body. He could feel the blade that had been stuck in his leg pushing itself out and his sides sealing themselves up. Every wound, even the shuriken-inflicted wounds he no longer noticed due to the searing pain of the stab wounds in his front, stung and hurt like he had pressed them against a hot stove as they healed. Worse than that though, worse than the burning stinging sensation that dug into each wound as it closed and made his mind wail in pain, was the pain in his head. He could feel the skin on two spots near his temples split open, tormenting him so much that he couldn’t help but let out a scream of agony.

              When it finally ended, when the excruciating burning sensations were gone, he found himself standing upright, and he couldn’t help but laugh. It wasn’t that anything was funny--in fact the whole situation was on the opposite spectrum of funny--it was just the relief. The second he felt the absence of that fiery pain engulfing his body, the sensation of simply not being tormented by waves of agony felt like pure bliss. It felt so good, he couldn’t help but laugh.

              “Wha . . . What are you?” one of the ninjas screamed, shaking him back to reality. The red didn’t fade. He was still being racked with the urge to feed even if the rest of the pain was gone. “What in the f--” She didn’t finish her sentence before Darwin had covered the distance between them and sliced her in half. She wasn’t alone, either: the two guys next to her fell in what felt like less than a second too.

             
They’re so slow,
he thought. Their actions looked as if they were lagged and hampered, like their bodies were struggling to move underwater.
They’re so slow. They’re so weak.
He found himself annoyed with them.
How did I die to them? How did they kill me with just this?
he thought, cutting through the fourth one. It hadn’t even been ten seconds since his revival, and already their numbers had gone down from seven remaining to three.