The Child Whisperer (8 page)

Type 1s enjoy making and moving to music. As very young children, they may even sing and dance as a way of getting around the house. Learning and performing in a group may be very supportive to their desire to entertain and delight others.

Child Whisperer Tip:
Always consider the movement! When it comes to dancing, ballet may be too structured for a Type 1 child to enjoy for very long. You can find so many other kinds of dance or other movement to engage your Type 1 child more quickly and help them have more fun. Think: tap, jazz, tumbling, etc.

If you want to encourage your child to play a musical instrument, make it socially engaging. Consider an instrument they could play in a group or a band, not for hours of isolated practice at a keyboard.

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EMILY’S STORY

The Right Movement

Emily has always loved dance. At age three, her mother signed her up for ballet. Emily loved ballet for those first few years because they involved creative movement and the visual imagery of being a princess. She enjoyed pretending and performing on stage.

But as she got older, the class became less about expressive dancing and more about technique. By the age of eight, Emily was begging her mom to quit. Her mom worried about letting her quit, thinking she should learn muscle control. And because Emily didn’t want to disappoint her mother, she kept learning and trying beautifully, even though it caused her a lot of stress and anxiety. At this time, she started the nervous habit of pulling out her eyelashes and eyebrows.

Her mother knew something needed to change, so she enrolled her in jazz dance classes. But Emily missed her friends from ballet and asked to go back just so she could experience social time in the carpool. She endured the actual ballet class so that she could be with her friends.

As soon as Emily’s mother learned that Emily was a Type 1, she let Emily quit ballet immediately. She realized that Emily needed social opportunities in order to make her activities fun and they started exploring other options, including drama. Emily is much happier and so is her mother, knowing that she is supporting her daughter’s true self.

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Type 1 children love games, so they may enjoy sports. But be aware of the environment they play in. Fun-loving children value experiences with light moods, and they value the game more for the fun they have while playing it, rather than the end result. Sports in a demanding, competitive environment can be too stressful for some Type 1 children. I have found that competitive sports for Type 1 children work if their experience is fun first and competitive second. If too much pressure is placed on them to perform at high levels and they are not having fun, they will not be as drawn to competition.

Whichever activities you choose to encourage or provide your Type 1 child, give them time and tools to cultivate their imaginative experience! These children have vast imaginations and endless ideas. This means that you don’t need to come up with nearly as many activities to entertain these children as you may think. Allow your child’s natural energy to be expressed and they will naturally just make everything they do more fun.

Supporting them is the key! Rather than taking on the job of fun, just make sure you are not stopping them from expressing what is natural to them. Even chores around the house can be imaginative play for a Type 1 child. I know one mother who encourages her Type 1 daughter to wave her magic fairy wand (the feather duster) all over the house. The dusting gets done and the Type 1 daughter loves how her mother helps her reframe a chore as fun.

Child Whisperer Tip:
Remember that Type 1 children love newness. They love new ideas, new possibilities, new experiences. They enjoy the optimism and hope that comes at the beginning of a project. You may find them wanting to jump from activity to activity, or starting something only to be distracted about the next new thing they get excited about. Demanding that they stick with one activity or sport or talent for an extended period of time will make that activity drudgery for a Type 1. Type 1 children will stick with what they start if it’s important to them and they are free to express their true nature in the experience. So before signing them up for a long class or activity, help them to identify what is most important to them.

Because their energy is light, and they are often misjudged, Type 1 children may take on the belief that they can’t accomplish much. Please tell your Type 1 child that their energy is a powerful, creative force that blesses everyone around them.

Which activities can you think of that would honor the movement of your Type 1, fun-loving child? List a few here:

Learning Tendencies

Learning Style:
Visuals matter

Type 1 children generally prefer visual and hands-on learning over written instruction. It’s faster and much more creative. They love learning new concepts and enjoy applying them immediately with hands-on activities. They would rather just get started with a fun project than to sit and listen to instructions.

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MELISSA’S STORY

Making Homeschool Fun

Melissa homeschools her Type 1 daughter and she discovered a way to bring fun and surprise into every single day. She filled a jar with slips of paper with all the learning activities she felt they needed to accomplish that day. She made sure to include some slips for free play time. Then, she allowed her daughter to draw out one of the slips and they did the activity.

One by one, they went through the slips of paper throughout the day. And every time, the activity was a surprise! It created just the sort of randomness that her Type 1 daughter needed and she couldn’t wait to have school the very next day.

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Classroom Behavior:
Teacher’s pet, class clown?

The classroom experience for these children is split, depending on the nature of the classroom they’re in. In an environment supportive to their creative nature, Type 1 children are beloved by teachers and classmates. They offer lots of good ideas and they cheer on their peers. In these classroom situations, they are described as happy, confident, and always willing to participate.

On the other hand, classrooms that demand too much structure or isolated quiet time will bore them and they will get distracted and have trouble completing their work. In these cases, a Type 1 might be labeled as loud, disruptive, or bad. Or they may take on a “teacher’s pet” role to try and make a grumpy teacher happy. Be aware of the energy in your Type 1 child’s classroom setting so you can know how to best support them in having fun with learning.

Some may say that Type 1 children need to learn to sit still, and that allowing them the kind of random freedom that Type 1s value just teaches them to be disrespectful. It is important to put this idea in perspective. Let’s look at the unfortunate label used to classify many Type 1 children.

Unfortunately, due to a Type 1s need for a higher movement, many Type 1 children have been labeled hyperactive and ADHD. When you put a Type 1 child in a very still and structured learning environment, they will create more movement in their experience naturally. They get very bored sitting still and are not able to maintain long periods of focus. So they will talk to their neighbor, start playing games with the items in their desk, fidget and squirm in their chair, drift off in their imagination, or otherwise appear that they cannot settle down and pay attention.

The truth is, they are stifled by the stillness. They can learn much faster in a more interactive environment, as they have very quick thought processes and brilliant minds. The more hands-on and multi-sensory the learning, the more successful they will be. So can they ever learn to sit still?

I believe all children and adults benefit from learning to sit still and pay attention. These are valuable behaviors that we all need to exercise in various settings. Every Type of child is capable of learning to sit still for appropriate amounts of time. However, Type 1 children have too often been expected to sit still and stay focused for unreasonable amounts of time in respect to their natural movement, especially when it comes to our traditional model of learning.

I have met many Type 1 adults who were labeled hyperactive and ADHD only to find out they were just high movement, creative, brilliant children who were not given the chance to learn and move according to their natural gifts and tendencies. Type 1 children
can
learn to sit still, but demanding that they do so all day long actually hinders them in their ability to learn.

Study Habits:
Always changing focus

A Type 1 child will often move through homework assignments randomly, completing answers that look quickest or tasks that look most fun. They like variety and creativity, so the same routine will weigh them down. They work best with a group or someone there to support them. Solitary work can feel like punishment to a Type 1.

Type 1 children have a hard time with a single focus. Expecting a Type 1 child to sit for long periods of time focusing on one school subject is a challenge for them. You may find them drifting off in their imagination or drawing or doodling on their paper. Type 1 children do better when they can change their focus often or have more going on at once in their study environment. For example, while they are doing their homework, they could be eating a snack and even have the TV on in the background. Also, support them in working on one subject for only 10-15 minutes, changing to another for the same amount of time, then a third subject, then returning to the first. Their natural energy connects and disconnects easily and needs to change focus in order to keep them from losing interest in what they are doing.

Just because they don’t focus methodically for long periods of time doesn’t mean that Type 1 children aren’t bright or excited to learn. They just learn best when their natural movement is honored. When teaching a Type 1 child or helping with homework, enjoy learning with them!

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JASMINE’S STORY

Making Homework Fun

Nine-year-old Jasmine’s grandmother did her homework with her and realized that she just couldn’t sit and focus for a long time. So they answered a few questions together and then ran around the table together before doing more. You know what? It worked!

Homework became something fun and active. It was a big game that she got to play with her grandmother, and so with the help of her creative grandmother, Jasmine completed much more than she would have been able to on her own.