The Child Whisperer (12 page)

• All your needs are important to us. You can grow at your own rate, and we are here for you.
  
• We love your bright, animated nature—you are a gift to the family.
  
• It’s okay to bounce and run and play; we will make it safe for you to explore.
  
• You can be you and we will always love you.
  
• It’s okay for you to be different from Mom and Dad. We will work out our differences.
  

Child Whisperer Tips to support this stage:
Type 1 babies love to be played with and they enjoy a variety of people to connect with. Talking to your Type 1 baby in fun, animated ways that get them to laugh is very nurturing to them. Too much stillness in a home will not provide the necessary movement for a Type 1 baby. Playing music with light and playful beats will also support them.

Avoid wrapping your baby too tightly in blankets and carriers. They need to feel light and free in their clothes, as well. This will be true for the rest of their lives, so if you notice your Type 1 kicking off their shoes whenever they can, it’s because they feel a bit confined.

As your baby becomes more interactive, choose toys that have a lot of movement and variety. Colors, lights, sounds, and music are all good. Just don’t give them to your baby right before you want them to go to sleep! Type 1s love to sit up and see their world, so baby seats tilted up, walkers, and Johnny Jump-ups are great options.

We all need balance, so make sure to weave in other movements to nurture your baby. Softer movements and moments of stillness can support a Type 1 baby at appropriate times.

Toddler 18 months to 3 years

Primary Emotional Need:
Support in sensing, exploring and doing in the world.

The Type 1 toddler is very excited when they learn to crawl and walk. There is a big, wide world to run around in and this is when you start to see them move as a Type 1 with the bounce in their step, the twirls and the jumps. Their engaging personality emerges as they begin to talk to pretty much anyone.

Language skills develop in this stage, and as I said earlier, your Type 1s language skills may come more slowly than the other Types. It will vary from child to child—as is true for everything in the Type 1 world, where there is a lot more variety and randomness. This randomness shows up in levels of Type 1 movement. You may notice that your Type 1 child has very high and bouncy movement or lesser degrees of bounciness. Your child’s secondary Type factors into what that may look like for your child (we’ll get to that in a few chapters).

Messages your Type 1 child needs to hear in this stage of life:

• It’s okay to be curious, to move, to bounce, and to touch and explore this world.
  
• We want you to explore. We will make it safe for you.
  
• You can be you and we will always love you.
  
• You can try out new things and find your own way of doing things.
  

• It’s okay for you to make noise and laugh and play.
  
• You are so creative and imaginative.
  
• You are so friendly and eager to please others. We are here to take care of you.
  
• You put a smile on my face.
  
• I love you just the way you are.
  

Child Whisperer Tips to support this stage:
Make sure your home environment supports your child’s active nature as they begin to crawl and move around. Type 1 children need to feel like they can move randomly and explore in their own way without getting in trouble or being told
no
all the time.

Pre-school 3 to 6 years

Primary Emotional Need:
Coming into their own identity and power.

In this stage, the one behavior that may begin to stand out for your Type 1 is their tendency to be a bit bossy! You may wonder why your fun-loving child would express their nature this way. Their bossiness comes from their need to be heard and seen just like everyone else. It seems that they know they can at times not be taken as seriously as the rest of humanity, due to their more light, airy nature. Bossiness is their way of putting their foot down and saying, “Listen to me! I have something worth saying.”

In this important stage, recognize your child’s bright and animated nature and make sure you say
yes
to it! Type 1 children can hear more
no’s
than any other Type of child, due to their higher movement and the way they explore the world.

Messages your Type 1 child needs to hear in this stage of life:

• It’s okay for you to start things and then change your mind.
  
• You are learning what is right for you—trust your instincts.
  
• We are glad you are starting to think for yourself.
  
• We love to have fun with you.
  
• Your light and animated nature is powerful. Trust it!
  
• You have great ideas; thank you for always sharing them.
  
• Thank you for the positive energy you so willingly share with our family.
  
• You are an important member of the family. Your natural gifts and talents are a blessing to all of us.
  

Child Whisperer Tips to support this stage:
Since Type 1s experience the world socially, give them the opportunity to meet other little children. Their natural ability to make friends has no minimum age. They will enjoy the social interaction—and you will enjoy how happy and cooperative your Type 1 child is as a result!

School Age 6 to 12 years

Primary Emotional Need:
Fitting in, working with structure, knowing and learning

I have talked a lot about how a Type 1 naturally moves through this world with less need for structure. This is not to suggest that they cannot adapt to structure. Adapting is one of their greatest gifts and you will find that they are often
too
willing to adapt to what everybody else wants in order to make sure they are happy.

This is an important stage to watch for their tendency to be too adaptive. Are they sacrificing their true nature in too many situations to please others? This is the stage that a Type 1 can be conditioned to become a people-pleaser, which they then carry into their adult lives.

Your Type 1 child is very capable of adapting to structured environments for short periods of time and learning to sit still and pay attention. The question to ask yourself as their parent is, “Are they being asked to do too much of this, which denies them of their need for more movement and variety in their life?” Your Type 1 child will let you know by how happy they are. When they feel sad for a reason you can’t easily identify, look for places in your child’s life where they are being compromised by too much structure.

Messages your Type 1 child needs to hear in this stage of life:

• You are smart and brilliant, and you learn so quickly.
  
• You are able to create whatever structure works for you.
  
• You can succeed at anything that feels right and honoring of you.
  
• Trust your ideas; they are brilliant.
  
• You deserve to succeed.
  
• Follow what is right for you. You don’t have to do things that are not honoring of you.
  
• It is not your job to make sure everyone in the family is happy. We are in charge of our own happiness.
  
• Thanks for being so adaptable and easy to get along with.
  
• You never have to adapt to others if it is not right for you.
  
• You have a right to have boundaries and know what is important to you.
  

Child Whisperer Tips to support this stage:
This is the phase when Type 1 children enter school. Our traditional school system at large does not honor the learning style of a Type 1 child. If your Type 1 child is fortunate, they may have Type 1 teachers (or intuitive teachers of other Types) through the years who just naturally make learning more fun. If they happen to have teachers who demand rigid structure, stillness, or linear learning processes, your Type 1 child’s learning potential will be compromised.

In this stage, it is very important to understand your Type 1 child’s learning style and work with both your child and their teachers to make sure they are free to develop their brilliant, quick-thinking minds and are not mislabeled in negative ways. I wonder what amazing ideas this world would be experiencing at this time of humanity if all the Type 1s who have already grown up had been taught how brilliant they are and how important and valid their ideas are.

Talk to your Type 1 child and learn about how he or she feels about their life. Read them this section of the book or share this information in a way they will relate to. If you have not been parenting your Type 1 true to their nature by this stage of their life, you will be seeing signs of stress in their behavior and feelings. This is easily remedied by your being honest and accountable with them by sharing that you have not been honoring of them and you want to change that. This is true for the next stage as well! Type 1 children forgive quickly and adapt easily to make changes that allow them to start living their lives with a natural bounce and optimism.

High School 12 to 18 years

Primary Emotional Need:
Separating and creating independence from the family.

In this stage of a Type 1 child’s life, friends take on a high level of importance. Due to their natural social orientation, they will make and enjoy friends fairly effortlessly. They are usually considered a friend to many more people than they even know. Their peers love their friendly energy and love being with them as they make things more fun and enjoyable for the friends they hang out with.

Messages your Type 1 child needs to hear in this stage of life:

• You can have as many friends as you want.
  
• You can change your friends any time you want to.
  
• You do not need to please others to be loved.
  
• You do not have to adapt to others in order to be a friend.
  
• You can take all the time you need to grow up.
  
• We are happy with your choices.
  
• It is okay to make mistakes.
  
• It is okay to change your mind.
  
• You can follow through on the things that are most important to you.
  
• You don’t have to act on all your ideas, but we appreciate you sharing them.
  
• Good for you to think things through before you take action.
  
• You can develop your own relationships, interests and causes.
  
• You can learn about sex and be responsible for your needs, feelings, and behaviors.