The Color of Us (College Bound Book 2) (13 page)

We were on our sides, facing each other. He pulled his lips away from mine to set them next to my ear. “How’s your dad?”

I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping to hold back the swell of emotion. It melted my heart that he cared enough to ask, but at the same time, I wanted to be lost in all that was Liam O’Connell. “Different, but okay,” I whispered. “Can we talk about it later?”

“Whatever you want. Whatever you need. You know that.”

“Right now I need you.” I reached up to the back of his head to pull him to me as I captured his mouth with another kiss.

I was surprised when our lips and fingers became soft and slow against each other, the passionate intensity of seeing each other again turning into a smoldering, all-consuming burn. Like we had all the time in the world. Liam bent his head down to the curve of my neck, and my heart rate answered his unspoken words, beating heavily against my ribs.

“Liam.” My fingers followed the curve of his spine until they reached the top of his jeans and his hips pressed into me. His only answer was a groan. “I’m ready for that final driving lesson,” I told him.

His lips stilled against my skin, and he lifted his head to stare at me in confusion. I slipped my fingers into my back pocket and pulled out a foil packet, waving it between us.

“I’ve been wanting this for a while. I trust you, and I know you’ll take care of me.”

“Angel.” My nickname was a broken set of syllables that seemed to slice him to ribbons on their way out of his throat.

“I want this with you.” I reached down to put the condom in his hand, giving him the final piece of me.

“I do too, Lex. But there’s something you don’t know about me.” He swallowed heavily, his eyes darting away before coming back to me. “You don’t know who I am. I…”

I placed my finger on his lips, stopping him. “Do you want me?” My finger trailed down his neck.

The muscle in his jaw twitched as he clenched his teeth. “You know I do.”

“Do you care about me?”

“More than you know.”

My pulse sped up, and my stomach fluttered. “Then that’s all that matters.”

Liam shook his head. “I wish that was all that mattered. I need to tell you something first.”

“No.” My eyes begged for his understanding. “No more talking. I know the real you, Liam. I don’t need to know your past or whatever sins you think you’ve committed. No matter how much you try to tell me how bad you are for me, that only proves to me how good you are. You’re special. I want this with you. I’m ready.”

Liam stared into my eyes, and I watched his resolve melt away. He reached up to tuck a chunk of hair behind my ear with a tender touch. “Are you sure? We don’t have to do this right now.”

“Of course we don’t. But I want to.” I kissed him, my tongue brushing against his until our bodies started to move against one another. “Please.”

He lifted my shirt off and then kissed his way across every bare inch of skin. Goose bumps rose up on my arms and stomach. My jeans went next, his mouth following the fabric as they peeled down my legs. He undressed me, his pace so agonizingly slow that I was aching with anticipation.

I reached to push my panties down, and his hand covered mine to stop me. “Why so slow?” I teased.

“Because.” His words and kisses and lips inched down over my knee on their way to my toes. “I want to remember every single moment of this.”

I smiled, slipping my hand out from under his and resting it on my stomach. He was right. I wanted to remember this too. I closed my eyes and gave myself over to the sensations his mouth and touch were causing.

When he was done stripping me, I felt him get up from the bed, and I heard the sounds of his clothes dropping to the floor. In the back of my mind, I wondered if I should feel nervous or shy to be completely bare to him. But I wasn’t. I just felt adored. Worshipped. I opened my eyes and watched as he sat down in the middle of the bed next to me. And the way he looked at me, I
knew
. We hadn’t said the words, but he was falling for me just as hard as I was falling for him.

Liam leaned over to kiss me, and as he sat back up, he pulled me with him, gently moving me until I was straddling him. His hand cupped my chin.

“You still sure about this?” he asked, nodding to the condom in his hand. The green of his eyes was dark and soft with what I could only describe as vulnerability. His ever-present smirk was gone, and I could tell that he wanted to kiss me again. That he needed to.

“Absolutely.” I traced my thumb along his lower lip, eager to get my mouth back on him.

He lifted my chin with his finger to bring my gaze back to his, and I was almost dizzy by the intensity I saw in his eyes. “This position will make it easier.” He ran a hand up the side of my thigh. “I want you to be in control your first time. You want to stop, you want to go, it’s all up to you. Yeah?”

“Okay,” I managed to say. He was still my teacher, still my protector, still showing me how to face my fears. Because no matter how confident I might force myself to sound, I was scared. This wasn’t just casual sex. This was handing over the one piece of myself I would only be able to give once. And I was giving it to someone who held my fragile heart in his hands.

He only broke eye contact so that he could open the condom and put it on. When he was done, he took my hand and placed it between us. Then he leaned in to press his lips to mine, speaking against my mouth. “I’m all yours.”

I wrapped my hand around him, and he groaned in response. I lifted up on my knees, his mouth and tongue worshipping my breast as his hands went to my back to hold me to him. I rubbed the tip of him against me, and his mouth became frantic, sucking and licking as his groans vibrated against my skin.

I slowly lowered down, taking him in a little at a time. His body was rigid beneath me, his breathing ragged, as he resisted the urge to buck up into me. He wasn’t in all the way when I started to feel a slight twinge of pain.

I glanced down to see he was looking at where we were joined. His expression was soft. Content. “Don’t rush,” he said, his voice ragged. “You’re in control.”

I lifted back up slightly on my knees, letting him slip out a bit before moving back down to claim him again. Holding on to his shoulders, I pulsed up and down over his lap. He went deeper with every dip of my hips. The skin between us was so slick and hot and perfect. My head fell back as a moan shuddered out of me. Liam’s mouth was immediately at my throat, kissing down to my shoulder.

“Take it slow,” he murmured. His hands went to my hips before slipping down under my ass. It was almost like he could tell when I got close to the moment of discomfort because he was there to lift me up and ease me back down again.

His hand moved closer to where we were connected, and when his fingers brushed against my sensitive skin, exploring and teasing, I lost all control. My hips pressed down in one last forceful plunge until the backs of my legs slammed against Liam’s thighs.

My breath caught in my throat at the sudden burst of pain, and my arms went around him, holding him so tightly against me that neither of us moved.

When the pain finally dissipated, I released my breath and sighed, “Liam,” as I leaned against him. He was mine. All of him.

“Lex,” he groaned against my neck.

I moved my hips in a small circle, and when I realized there was no pain, I did it again with more force. And again.

Liam’s hands were on my hips, and I wasn’t sure if he was guiding me or holding on as my body started to lift and press and circle and plunge over his.

“That’s it,” he encouraged, mirroring my movements.

A wild need built inside me, and I gave in to it, allowing my body to demand what it wanted. Liam followed, his hips thrusting up to meet mine as I continued to grind against him and sink onto him over and over again. His mouth was constantly moving, mapping my skin with sweet kisses.

His lips broke away from my skin just long enough for him to mutter something that sounded like “angel.”

I opened my eyes to find him looking at me. The vulnerability was still there, but also a hunger. I recognized it because I was just as needy for him. Starved.

My hands went to his shoulders as my hips moved faster, chasing my control away. A burst of pleasure built at the base of my spine until it crested and crashed over me, waves of bliss pulsing through my body as I pressed down on Liam one final time. He gripped my waist and pushed up into me with a few quick thrusts until his head was thrown back in a final groan.

After a few seconds he lifted his head to look at me, and I wondered if my eyes were as glazed with pleasure as his were. “Angel,” he whispered almost reverently.

I lifted my hand to trace his jaw with my finger before I leaned forward to kiss him. “You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me,” I told him.

He chuckled. “I’m nothing but trouble.”

Maybe so, but he was the best kind of trouble.

***

We didn’t mean to fall asleep, but I didn’t feel bad about it when I finally woke up a few hours later. I did, however, need to find a bathroom. Instead of waking Liam up, I decided to search for it on my own. I slipped out of his embrace and put on my clothes as quickly as possible. I had no idea if his parents were awake or asleep, but I certainly wasn’t going to meet them for the first time while half-naked.

I let myself out of the bedroom and quietly made my way down the stairs. I found a bathroom in the hallway. I did my business quickly, and before leaving the bathroom, I pulled my phone out of my pocket to check the time.

Damn. It was past midnight. Mom would be worried if I didn’t come home soon. I sighed and turned off the light as I stepped out of the bathroom. As I walked past the living room, curiosity drew my eyes to the worn plaid couches and nicked-up wooden furniture. I was just about to continue walking by when something caught my eye and I nearly tripped. There was a familiar face in a place it definitely shouldn’t be.

Slowly I walked into the living room and approached the end table by the patched-up La-Z-Boy recliner. I stared at the face in the picture, and all of a sudden I couldn’t remember how to breathe. I backed away, tripping over the coffee table, sending it and myself crashing to the floor. The sound of the table breaking underneath me was followed by my scream. I pushed myself backward like a crab until my back was pressed against the nearest wall. My body shook from head to toe.

Heavy footsteps echoed on the stairs right before Liam appeared in the living room doorway.

“Lex, you okay?” His eyebrows were pulled down in concern as he made his way over to me.

I lifted a shaky finger and pointed at the framed picture on the end table. I couldn’t find my voice. I couldn’t blink. I couldn’t think straight.

His gaze followed the direction of my finger, and when he focused on the photo, I saw true fear wash over his face.

“Why is there a picture of Declan in your house, Liam?” I managed to say in a trembling voice.

“Lex…”

“Did you know him?”

Liam looked as if I’d ripped his heart out of his chest and stomped on it. His face was panic and fear and pain all rolled into one. “Let me explain,” he begged.

“Why is there a picture of Declan?” I screamed. “He killed my sister. Why is his picture in your house?”

“Because,” a voice said from the doorway. “Declan was his brother.”

Confusion forced my eyes to find the voice, and I saw a gruff man with a shaggy beard at the doorway holding a bat and standing next to a woman who was wearing a bathrobe and sporting a head full of bottle-blond hair.

Brother?

The man and woman must be Declan’s parents. I didn’t recognize them, but then I wouldn’t have. They were never in the news, never mentioned. Only Declan. And my parents hadn’t pressed charges against Declan’s family. To be honest, I wasn’t sure I’d even heard the names of his parents before. I’d always just thought of him as a killer. Not as someone who had a family.

“Lex…” Liam stepped toward me, and I cringed, flinging my hands in front of me. He jerked back, a look of pain on his face.

“Declan was your brother? You have different last names. How can that be?” My voice was hysterical, but I was unable to calm myself down. Liam was my safe place. The last thing I expected to find in my safe place was my sister’s killer.

He was shaking his head, frantic and furious. “He wasn’t my brother. He was my stepbrother.”

“You knew this whole time? You knew!” My hands went to my mouth. I felt like I was going to be sick. “How could you not tell me?”

“I wanted to,” he said, his hand reaching out, pleading with me to understand. “I didn’t know how. I was worried you wouldn’t understand.”

I shook my head, my eyes flicking between Liam and the picture of Declan. “I don’t understand.” My voice broke, and tears burned their way past my lids and down my cheeks. “How could you keep this a secret from me?”

He took a deep breath, sorrow and guilt clouding his expression. He looked completely tortured. “How could I tell you? How could you ever look at me the same once you knew?”

“I don’t know. I… I can’t.” I kept shaking my head and pushed myself to standing, my back still against the wall.