The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (496 page)

carry on trying for my father's approval:

if the circumstances and humble pleading

cannot get it, why then–listen to me!

SHALLOW

Break their talk, Mistress Quickly: my kinsman shall

speak for himself.

Break up their conversation, Mistress Quickly: my relative

will speak for himself.

SLENDER

I'll make a shaft or a bolt on't: 'slid, 'tis but

venturing.

I'll have a stab at it, I'll succeed

one way or the other.

FALLOW

Be not dismayed.

Don't despair.

SLENDER

No, she shall not dismay me: I care not for that,

but that I am afeard.

No, she can't make me despair: the only thing that can set me back

is my own fear.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

Hark ye; Master Slender would speak a word with you.

Listen; Master Slender would like to speak to you.

ANNE PAGE

I come to him.

Aside

This is my father's choice.

O, what a world of vile ill-favor'd faults

Looks handsome in three hundred pounds a-year!

I'm coming.

This is the one my father wants for me.

Oh, how many revolting ugly flaws

can be covered up by three hundred pounds a year!

MISTRESS QUICKLY

And how does good Master Fenton? Pray you, a word with you.

And how is good Master Fenton? Please, I want a word with you.

SHALLOW

She's coming; to her, coz. O boy, thou hadst a father!

She's coming; go to her, cousin. Oh boy, you had a father!

SLENDER

I had a father, Mistress Anne; my uncle can tell you

good jests of him. Pray you, uncle, tell Mistress

Anne the jest, how my father stole two geese out of

a pen, good uncle.

I had a father, Mistress Anne; my uncle can tell you

some good stories about it. Please, uncle, tell Mistress

Anne the story of how my father stole two geese out of

a pen, good uncle.

SHALLOW

Mistress Anne, my cousin loves you.

Mistress Anne, my cousin loves you.

SLENDER

Ay, that I do; as well as I love any woman in

Gloucestershire.

Yes I do; as much as I love any woman in

Gloucestershire.

SHALLOW

He will maintain you like a gentlewoman.

He will keep you like a gentlewoman.

SLENDER

Ay, that I will, come cut and long-tail, under the

degree of a squire.

Yes I will, come what may, as befits the title

of a squire.

SHALLOW

He will make you a hundred and fifty pounds jointure.

He will set up a legacy of one hundred and fifty pounds for you.

ANNE PAGE

Good Master Shallow, let him woo for himself.

Good Master Shallow, let him do his own wooing.

SHALLOW

Marry, I thank you for it; I thank you for that good

comfort. She calls you, coz: I'll leave you.

Thank you for saying that; thank you for those

kind words. She is asking for you, cousin: I'll leave you.

ANNE PAGE

Now, Master Slender,--

Now, Master Slender–

SLENDER

Now, good Mistress Anne,--

Now, good Mistress Anne–

ANNE PAGE

What is your will?

What is your will?

SLENDER

My will! 'od's heartlings, that's a pretty jest

indeed! I ne'er made my will yet, I thank heaven; I

am not such a sickly creature, I give heaven praise.

My will! By God, that's a nice joke!

I have never made a will, thank heavens;

thank heavens, I am not ill.

ANNE PAGE

I mean, Master Slender, what would you with me?

I mean, Master Slender, what are your intentions towards me?

SLENDER

Truly, for mine own part, I would little or nothing

with you. Your father and my uncle hath made

motions: if it be my luck, so; if not, happy man be

his dole! They can tell you how things go better

than I can: you may ask your father; here he comes.

Enter PAGE and MISTRESS PAGE

Truly, for my part, I have no intentions towards

you. Your father and my uncle have set this

up; if I have the luck to get you, good; if not, good luck

to the one who does! They can tell you better than I

how matters progress: you can ask your father; here he comes.

PAGE

Now, Master Slender: love him, daughter Anne.

Why, how now! what does Master Fenton here?

You wrong me, sir, thus still to haunt my house:

I told you, sir, my daughter is disposed of.

Now, Master Slender: love him, daughter Anne.

Why, what's this! What is Master Fenton doing here?

You're doing wrong, sir, to still hang around my house:

I told you, sir, my daughter is spoken for.

FENTON

Nay, Master Page, be not impatient.

No, Master Page, don't be so hasty.

MISTRESS PAGE

Good Master Fenton, come not to my child.

Good Master Fenton, don't make advances to my child.

PAGE

She is no match for you.

You shan't marry her.

FENTON

Sir, will you hear me?

Sir, will you listen to me?

PAGE

No, good Master Fenton.

Come, Master Shallow; come, son Slender, in.

Knowing my mind, you wrong me, Master Fenton.

Exeunt PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER

No, good Master Fenton.

Come, Master Shallow; come, son Slender, let's go in.

You know my intentions, and so you are insulting me, Master Fenton.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

Speak to Mistress Page.

Speak to Mistress Page.

FENTON

Good Mistress Page, for that I love your daughter

In such a righteous fashion as I do,

Perforce, against all cheques, rebukes and manners,

I must advance the colours of my love

And not retire: let me have your good will.

Good Mistress Page, as I love your daughter

so completely,

I must carry on pressing my suit

in the face of all censure, rebukes and conventions,

and I cannot retreat: give me your blessing.

ANNE PAGE

Good mother, do not marry me to yond fool.

Good mother, do not marry me to that fool over there.

MISTRESS PAGE

I mean it not; I seek you a better husband.

I don't intend to; I'm looking for a better husband for you.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

That's my master, master doctor.

She means my master, the master doctor.

ANNE PAGE

Alas, I had rather be set quick i' the earth

And bowl'd to death with turnips!

Oh no, I would rather be buried up to the neck in the ground

and stoned to death with turnips!

MISTRESS PAGE

Come, trouble not yourself. Good Master Fenton,

I will not be your friend nor enemy:

My daughter will I question how she loves you,

And as I find her, so am I affected.

Till then farewell, sir: she must needs go in;

Her father will be angry.

Now now, don't trouble yourself. Good Master Fenton,

I will be neither your friend nor your enemy:

I will question my daughter about her love for you,

and I will act accordingly.

Until then farewell, sir: she must go inside;

her father will be angry.

FENTON

Farewell, gentle mistress: farewell, Nan.

Exeunt MISTRESS PAGE and ANNE PAGE

Farewell, gentle mistress: farewell, Nan.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

This is my doing, now: 'Nay,' said I, 'will you cast

away your child on a fool, and a physician? Look on

Master Fenton:' this is my doing.

I sorted this out: ‘No,’ I said, ‘will you throw

your daughter away on a fool and a doctor?

Look at Master Fenton.’ This is my doing.

FENTON

I thank thee; and I pray thee, once to-night

Give my sweet Nan this ring: there's for thy pains.

Thank you; and please, at some point tonight

give my sweet Nan this ring: take this for your trouble.

MISTRESS QUICKLY

Now heaven send thee good fortune!

Exit FENTON

A kind heart he hath: a woman would run through

fire and water for such a kind heart. But yet I

would my master had Mistress Anne; or I would

Master Slender had her; or, in sooth, I would Master

Fenton had her; I will do what I can for them all

three; for so I have promised, and I'll be as good

as my word; but speciously for Master Fenton. Well,

I must of another errand to Sir John Falstaff from

my two mistresses: what a beast am I to slack it!

Exit

May Heaven bless you with good luck!

He has a kind heart: a woman will run through

Fire and water for such a kind heart. And yet I

would like my master to have Mistress Anne; or

for Master Slender to have; or, in fact, for Master

Fenton to have her; I will do what I can for all three of them;

that's what I've promised, and I'll be as good

as my word; but I'll work especially hard for Master Fenton.

Well, I must run another errand to Sir John Falstaff from

my two mistresses: what a slowcoach I am to have left it until now!