The Essential Guide to Gay and Lesbian Weddings (109 page)

If you don't want to go the whole nine yards with the receiving line, that's okay too. An abbreviated version with just the two of you greeting the guests is equally as warm a welcome, maybe even warmer.

In a conspicuous place somewhere near the entrance to the reception you may have a book for guests to sign. This will not only help you keep track of everyone who attended, it also becomes an instant souvenir of the day. You can buy a book that says guests or wedding guests on the genuine imitation leatherette cover and has numbered lines inside for signatures, but limiting your guests to signing their names only may choke their creative expression. Why not get a large blank book, or even an artist's sketchbook? Have a member of your inner circle start by writing a few lines or drawing an appropriate doodle; not to be outdone, everyone else will follow suit. Don't forget to furnish writing implements, such as felt-tip pens, a box of crayons, or the wedding industry's favorite—the fancy feathered pen.

After the receiving line is finally over and all guests have full glasses, the best man/woman/person usually makes the first toast to the new couple. Fortunately, that toast is the responsibility of that person—and it's the one thing you don't have to worry your pretty little heads over. Just stand there, listen, and smile/cry at the appropriate times. (Don't worry, you'll know which is which.) Make sure the toast is coordinated with the caterer so that your guests aren't standing there with empty glasses—or no glasses at all.

Mr. Marriage Sez:

The good wedding hosts/hostesses:

introduce themselves to each guest they don't know but “have heard so much about.”

review the guest list so names they might forget will be more familiar to them.

make an effort to spend a few minutes of Quality Time with each of their guests.

don't chew gum, smoke in their guests' faces, or look bored or unfocused.

don't ask their guests, “What did you bring me?”

Now it's your turn. One of you makes a toast to your spouse, and maybe to all your guests who have schlepped here to be part of this historic occasion. Then it's the other partner's turn to toast. After that, anyone can have a go at a toast; the only real requirement is to get everyone's attention. If there are telegrams (or text messages!), they should be read out loud.

When asked the question, “What was the highlight of your wedding day?” many people told us that it was the toast. We think this is because the toast presents family and friends with the opportunity to express emotions that otherwise might remain hidden.

Tell everyone who you are and how you know the brides or grooms.

Relate a story or an experience you shared together.

Avoid going overboard and becoming sappy and maudlin.

Try and include something about the couple and their life together.

Don't be stiff; be natural and speak from the heart.

BOB'S FATHER'S TOAST