The Fading Trilogy: Fading, Freeing, Falling: Includes 2 BONUS short stories: Hoping and Finding Forever (6 page)

"I think he likes me."

"So, what's the problem?"

I look over at her, then flop back onto the bed and stare at the ceiling, "The problem is, I'm only trying to have a little fun, but it feels wrong. There is just nothing there, yet I keep kissing him, and I'm only leading him on. He asked to see me again, and my stupid mouth said yes."

Kimber lays down next to me, "So, see him one more time, and just tell him. Honestly, Candace, I think you're being hard on yourself and making this a bigger deal than it actually is."

I turn to face her. "You're right."

"I always am." She gives me a grin, and then asks, "Did you kiss him good-bye?"

"More like straddled his thighs, grabbed his hair, and let him shove his tongue in my mouth," I say, and then I burst out laughing as I cover my heated face with my hands.

"You little hooker!"

I jump off the bed, still laughing. "Good night, Kim," I say in a singsong voice as I head to my room.

"Night, slut!" I hear her yell down the hall.

I'm working in the back, restocking supplies, when I hear Roxy shout for me from up front. I stop what I'm doing, walk to the front counter, and see Jase. I spoke to him the morning after our night out at Remedy. He ran into Mark out in the parking lot and ended up talking to him for a while and Mark decided to give Jase a second chance.

"Hey, Candace," he says as he leans in to give me a peck on my lips. "I've been trying to call you."

"Oh, sorry. I was at the studio this morning and let the battery drain on my cell, and I never remembered to plug it in to recharge," I said. "I'll go do that now before I forget again." I run into the back and grab my phone and the charging cord. When I walk back up front, I plug it in by the register.

"So, I wanted to see if you and Kimber could get together with Mark and I later tonight?" Jase asks while he's leaning against the counter.

"I'd love to, but I'm working late tonight. How about tomorrow afternoon?" I ask. "We can do a cookout at our house."

"That sounds great. I really fucked up with him, and I want to make it right. Plus, I want you guys to meet him."

Resting on my elbows, I look up at him and say, "Of course, Jase."

"Great, I'll call him and let him know," he says, then leans down to kiss my forehead. I smile up at him as he turns to leave.

I notice my phone automatically turns on once it gets enough life in it. Picking it up, I swipe the screen to look at all my missed calls and texts. I see I have a missed text from Jack, and I tap to open it up.

You free Monday night? Frat house always throws a huge party after the first day of classes.

"What are you reading over there?" Roxy asks as she is steaming some milk for a customer's drink.

Looking up at her, I say, "I'm reading a text from Jack. He wants me to go to some party, and I'm not sure how to respond." I look back down at his text and stare.

After Roxy finishes up with her customer, she walks over to me. "What do you mean 'you don't know how to respond'? What's going on?"

I lift my arms off the counter and step away to face her. Crossing my arms in front of my chest, I say, "I need to distance myself from him. I think he wants more than I do. I mean, I don't want anything, so..."

"Just tell him you can't go. Or go, and tell him later that you just don't have time for a relationship right now," she says.

I pick up my phone to respond.

What time?

I walk over to pour myself a cup of coffee when I hear my phone chime.

"That was fast," I hear Roxy say.

"No kidding." Walking back to my phone, I set down my mug, and tap on his message.

Pick you up around 10?

Okay, I'll see you then.

Miss you.

"Shit," I mumble quietly and set the phone down, wanting to pretend I didn't see that last text.

"What are you 'shitting'
about?"

I take a sip of my coffee and then toss Roxy my phone. Sitting on my stool, I watch her closely as she reads through the texts. I notice her eyes get big, and I know she finally reached the text that is starting to make me panic slightly.

"Okay, it's not that—"

"You know I don't do well with this stuff. I never make it to date number two and now this guy says he misses me." I feel my heartbeat start to quicken and, yes, that is definitely panic I am feeling. I don't deal with intimate relationships well at all. In fact, I'm pretty closed off emotionally with guys. I've never had any closeness with my parents, then the one guy I thought at least liked me in high school turned out to be just another asshole. I feel like I'm emotionally moronic.

I look up to see that Roxy is laughing at me. "It's not funny!"

"It actually is a little bit," she says. "Relax, don't respond. He probably won't even notice. Guys are stupid anyway."

I hope she's right. I hope he isn't sitting there waiting for me to text him back to say that I miss him too. I don't like opening myself up like that.

The next day, Kimber and I get ready for the cookout. I'm in the kitchen preparing the burgers for the grill, and Kimber is chopping up veggies for a salad. Jase has never bothered to introduce us to any guys in the past, so I know he must really like Mark. I don't know much about him aside from the fact that he plays guitar for a local band.

"Hey, Kim, has Jase ever talked to you about Mark before?" I ask as I pound out another hamburger patty.

"Not much. He was pretty pissed off at himself when they broke up, so I figured he had really cared for him but didn't realize it until they split." Kimber slides the salad in the fridge then opens a bag of chips to pour in a bowl.

"Hmm..."

"What?" Sheeyes me as she pops a chip in her mouth.

I walk to the sink to wash my hands. "Nothing." I shake my head. "Just curious."

"We're here," Jase calls out.

I walk into the living room and give him a hug.

"Mark, this is Candace," Jase says as I pull away.

I turn to Mark, "Hey! It's great to meet you. Come on in. We're in the kitchen getting the food ready," I say as I start walking towards the kitchen.

"Hey, Jase," Kimber says with a mouth full of chips.

Jase looks at Mark then back at Kimber. "And this crazy girl is Kimber."

"Nice you meet you guys," Mark says with a grin.

Mark is good looking with an athletic build similar to Jase's. He has dark brown hair and striking green eyes.

"Will one of you start the grill?" Kimber asks the guys.

"Yeah, I can do that," Mark says, and Kimber leads him out back.

Jase and I grab the food and head out behind them. We are lucky to have a large backyard with a nice patio that is covered with a pretty white pergola. We have a table that seats six and off to the side, several chairs that circle around a fire pit. There is a small bar area with a built in grill that we only used when there were guys over to start it up.

Most students our age live in smaller houses or apartments, but Kimber's parents own this house. They bought it when they were having the house built that they live in now.

"This is a nice place you have," Mark says.

Kimber flops down in a chair. "I suppose," she says with a sigh.

I roll my eyes at her and look at Mark, "Please, just ignore her dramatics."

Kimber looks at me and laughs.

"Hey Jase, will you run inside and grab the case of beer that's in the fridge and bring it out? There's a cooler next to the door that already has ice in it," I say.

"Sure," he says and he walks inside the house.

I walk over to Mark who is standing next to the grill and hand him the plate of burgers. "So, Mark, are you in college too?" I ask

He grabs the plate from me and starts placing each patty on the grill. "Yeah, I'll be graduating after this year." He closes the lid and we both sit down as Jase walks over and hands us all beers.

"Same here," I say. "What are you studying?"

Mark takes a swig of his beer, "Same as Jase: Architecture." Looking over at Jase, he adds, "That's how we know each other."

We continue getting to know Mark and having good conversation. I really like him and we corner off for the majority of the night, talking and laughing, while Kimber and Jase drink and talk about who knows what. It's nice to have a relaxing evening with friends.

After cleaning up, it was starting to get late, and we decide to call it a night. I have an early class in the morning, so I need to hit the sack.

"It was so good to meet you, Mark," I say as I walk him to the front door.

"Same here," he responds.

I lean over and give him a hug, "You're welcome anytime, and you don't need Jase with you to stop by."

"Thanks," he says.

Kimber and I say our good-byes to the boys and they head out. Walking to their car, Mark holds Jase's hand and leans in to kiss him on the neck. When I close the door, I look at Kimber. "I love seeing Jase like that," I say.

"Like what?" she asks.

"Happy and comfortable," I say as I lean against the door.

Smiling at me, Kimber says, "Me too. He told me about his trip home."

"Sucks, huh?" I say as I push myself off the door and start walking towards the back of the house to our rooms.

"Yeah," she says and she follows me. "I love you, Candace."

I turn to her, surprised by the affection behind her words.

"I know I tease you a lot, but I just wanted to say it so you know," she says.

"I love you too, Kim," I say as I wrap my arms around her tightly. Kim and Jase are like family to me. They both love me and support me the way family should.

We pull apart and head to our separate rooms.

"Good night," I say.

"Night, hooker."

I shake my head and laugh as I close the door behind me.

So far my classes have been uneventful. It's the first week, so I don't expect much until at least next week. I just left my Methodologies class and I'm on my way to the studio for my Ballet Technique class. When I walk through the double doors, I am greeted by a few of the girls.