The Grace In Darkness (14 page)

She lowered her gaze to the glass in her hand for a second and then shook it off, smiling at Julie. I could see it in Julie
’
s eyes—that look of pity for Coraline. I recognized it because I used to have that same look in my eyes when I looked at her too.

I turned toward the bar and the same bartender looked at me and smiled.
“
You look like you could use something stronger.
”
He pushed a shot glass toward me.
“
This time it
’
s straight Jack.
”

“
So it
’
s true what they say?
”

“
What
’
s that?
”

“
That bartenders are very wise.
”
I downed the shot, and he laughed.

“
I guess so.
”

I pushed the shot glass toward him.

“
Better make it a double.
”

My head felt cloudy as I made my way toward the back of the stage, and I was starting to think maybe those two shots were a bad idea. If I fucked up tonight, I
’
d probably never live to hear the end of it from J.D. And he
’
d have no one to blame but himself. He
’
s the one who wanted to put me on the spot and show me off.

“
There he is!
”
Mark said cheerfully.

“
Here I am.
”
I forced a smile and put my hands in my pockets.

“
I know your dad kind of put you on the spot. No hard feelings if you want to back out.
”

“
No, it
’
s okay. I don
’
t mind.
”

“
Well, thank you. You
’
re really helping me out here tonight.
”

“
No problem.
”

“
Here
’
s the sheet music.
”
He handed me a thick piece of paper and I looked down at it like I hadn
’
t been able to read music since I was eight.

It had been so long since I played. I loved music. It had been an outlet for me, but since losing Araya, it wasn
’
t enough anymore. Nothing was enough anymore.

I
’
m going to go talk to the rest of the crew, let them know of the changes. If you want to practice for a few minutes, we have time before we
’
re expected to start. I
’
ll send Matthew out here to go over your queue, okay?
”

“
Yeah, sure.
”

“
Okay, then.
”

I watched him walk away to talk to a tall guy in a leather jacket. He didn
’
t seem like the type to be around this style of event and he certainly wasn
’
t dressed for it, so I assumed he was probably one of the workers.

I sat down at the piano and put the music in place. The music notes started to blur together, and I rubbed my eyes to focus them. I started playing and the first few notes flowed flawlessly, but my fingers tripped up and I cursed.

“
Let
’
s hope you don
’
t play like that during the presentation.
”

“
So you must be the entertainment replacement?
”
someone said over my shoulder.

“
That would be me, I guess. You must be Matthew?
”
I turned around on the piano bench to face him.

“
That would be me. Where
’
d they find you last minute?
”

“
I was just the guy that was in the wrong place at the wrong time
”

“
That sucks.
”

“
Tell me about it.
”
I turned and grabbed the music sheet.
“
This music is kind of boring and stuffy, don
’
t you think?

“
Well, it
’
s not
my
taste in music, that
’
s for sure.
”
He laughed and looked down at the paper in my hands. He frowned.
“
Actually, this isn
’
t the right music. There was a switch, last minute. I
’
ll have them bring over the right song. Good luck,
”
he called as he walked away.

“
Thanks,
”
I muttered and turned back toward the piano.

I figured I could practice some more even if I didn
’
t have the right music. I cracked my knuckles and placed my fingers over the keys. Without any warning, I was bombarded with images of the last time I
’
d been at a piano. I put no thought into it as my fingers began to move and music filled the dark room. As I lost myself in the melody, I was transferred to another time.

“
Have you ever played before?”

“
No, all my talent went into my feet.”

I laughed, pulling her into my lap. I placed her fingers on the smooth keys and covered them.

It was like I could feel her here with me. I was losing my mind. My fingers tripped over the notes I made up as I went, and the sounds matched my memory.

“
Here, put your fingers over mine.”

Her fingers moved over mine and her soft skin was a beautiful caress. Our fingers moved together as I played her song.

The music flowed easily again, but I refused to play her song. I couldn
’
t handle it so I continued playing the unfamiliar notes.

“
What song is this?”

“
You like it?”

“
It’s beautiful.”

“
I wrote it.”

She looked at me over her shoulder.
“You wrote this?”

My hands continued to play even though the song in my head stopped.

“I wrote it for you to dance to. I’m thinking of calling it ‘Hummingbird.’ What do you think?”

“
I think you’re nothing short of wonderful.”

She leaned over and kissed my lips. I could sense her hesitation, but the minute her lips touched mine, it melted, and I lost all sense of reason.

My hands were all over her at once and I was holding her mouth to mine as I devoured her.

I could feel my fingers moving faster and faster against the keys. I knew the music was furious and loud, but I couldn
’
t hear it past my own memory.

I stood up, pulling her against me, lifting her by the waist. The keys of the piano protested with an obnoxious sound.

Past the sound of Araya’s breathing in my ear. Past the feel of her lips against my skin.

I was between her legs, my hands wrapped around the underside of her thighs, pulling her against me. I could feel her heat all around me. She wanted it just as much as I did.

I closed my eyes. It was my way of being with her again. I just needed to be close to her again.

Bending her back over the piano, my lips found the hollow of her throat, trailing down the V of her dress.

I made a strangled sound and my fingers slammed against the keys and it made a glaring sound. I was only torturing myself by doing this. I had to get her out of my head for now… maybe forever, but I didn
’
t know how to do that when she continued to haunt me.

“
That was beautiful.
”

I froze. I couldn
’
t breathe. My memories and reality had blurred and I was hearing things.

“
I
’
m sorry. I didn
’
t mean to interrupt you,
”
she said when I didn
’
t respond.

I was afraid to turn around. Afraid it would all be a dream and the voice I thought I heard wasn
’
t real.

“
They… they told me to bring this to you.
”

My silence made her nervous and I was taken back again, back to the girl I
’
d met in the park. I heard the rustle of the paper and knew I had to turn around and find out or she was going to leave and I
’
d lose my chance.

“
I
’
ll just leave it here.
”

She took a slow step closer. It was dark in here and I knew it was probably hard for her to see. She placed the paper on top of the piano, and I could smell her. She turned to walk away and her scent swirled around me, and I couldn
’
t control myself. I turned toward her so fast that I startled her. She made a sound and her hand reached out, but before I could grab her, there was someone else at her side.

“
Are you okay?
”
he asked.

I glared at leather-jacket boy who was holding
my
Araya in his arms and clenched my fists at my sides. I didn
’
t know who the hell this guy thought he was, but I wanted to pull her to me and kiss her senseless. I wanted to make her remember who I was, dammit!

“
I
’
m fine, Pierce.
”
Hearing her say leather boy
’
s name was like nails on a chalkboard. I could think of a million other things I
’
d like to call him.
“
I
’
m just clumsy.
”
She smiled nervously in my direction.

He reached up and touched her cheek softly. I came undone at the seams. I felt murderous and I moved toward him to hit him in the face. If he
’
d been looking at me instead of what was mine, maybe he
’
d have seen it coming.

“
Oh, good. You got it,
”
that kid Matthew said, saving leather boy
’
s face.
“
If you guys are ready, they
’
re waiting for you,
”
he told Araya and
him.

“
Of course.
”
She started to walk away from me and no matter how hard or how angrily my brain screamed at me to stop her, I didn
’
t and I didn
’
t know why. She stopped and turned in my direction again.
“
Good luck,
”
she told me, and then they were gone.