The Grace In Darkness (17 page)

“
It
’
s not that easy.
”

“
The best things in life are never that easy. I
’
m prepared to fight my ass off, Hummingbird.
”

Okay, maybe it was that easy
, I thought, feeling my insides turn to mush at his words.

“
No fighting necessary, Ryland. I
’
m already yours. I
’
ve always been yours.
”

A tiny growl consumed him and his arms were around my waist, lifting me up to meet his lips. The kiss was urgent, but he was soft, gentle. Walking us into the apartment, he closed the door with his foot and locked it.

“
Nice place,
”
he said around kisses.
“
Where
’
s the bed?
”

I laughed and pointed toward the bed while his lips moved down my throat. I dropped my head back and enjoyed the way he owned me. Throwing me down on the mattress, his body covered mine and he showed me what it really meant to be one person.

Thirty minutes later, we were upside down and tangled in the sheets. Ryland
’
s head hung over the edge and I drew random shapes over his chest.

“
How are you so good at that? Halfway through, I forgot what my name was.
”

He barked a laugh and his chest rumbled under my hand.
“
It
’
s all you, Hummingbird.
”

Leaning up on my elbow, I asked him.
“
Why were you at the benefit tonight? Where are you working?
”

I could sense his hesitation.
“
You
’
re not going to like the answer, Hummingbird.
”

“
Tell me anyway.
”

“
I
’
m working at Dare, Inc.
”

I sat up completely and the sheet fell away.
“
You
’
re working with J.D.? Why? How?
”

“
It
’
s a long story, Hummingbird, and you just gave me something else to focus my attention on.
”

He shifted on the bed and I felt his breath against my neck. Putting my palm against his chest, I pushed him back down.

“
Well, refocus, Mr. Dare.
”

He groaned.
“
That
’
s damn sexy, Hummingbird.
”

I laughed and pulled up the sheet.
“
Please, Ryland.
”

“
You
’
re killing me!
”
He sighed.
“
J.D. wanted me at that benefit because he knew you were going to be there and he wanted to torture me. He thought I
’
d let you go because I didn
’
t want to make you choose, and it almost worked. I didn
’
t want you to choose.
”

“
There is no choice, Ryland. There are no words to explain how you make me feel.
”

“
Try,
”
he said, and I felt his lips on my earlobe and he teased it with the edges of his teeth.

“
It
’
s like touching sunlight. Actually being able to hold it in your hands and feel it. It
’
s breathtaking. Impossible.
”

“
I love you so damn much.
”
He squeezed me to him.

“
I hate that you
’
re working for him. Can
’
t you quit?
”

“
Don
’
t worry, Hummingbird. I plan to.
”

I felt better. I didn
’
t want him anywhere near that monster. He was poison, a kind of sickness that settled into your system and ate you from the inside out.

“
Why didn
’
t you tell him about me?
”

We had switched positions, and now he was lying on my chest. I
’
d been combing my fingers through his hair and I stopped.

Swallowing hard, I answered him.
“
Because I didn
’
t know what there was to tell. We hadn
’
t spoken—
”

“
Per your rules,
”
he pointed out.

“
I know! But you found me and you were here and you didn
’
t even try...
”

“
You know?
”

“
The girl who helped you, that
’
s Makayla. She
’
s my best friend. She told me.
”

“
You were happy. I wasn
’
t going to be the one to take that away from you. I still don
’
t want to take that away from you. I can
’
t make you choose.
”

“
I was happy to be dancing again. I was happy that I was doing things on my own. That was the whole reason I had left, but if I
’
d known you
’
d been there that day...
”

“
I
’
m here now and I
’
m sorry for what I said earlier. I knew he wasn
’
t your boyfriend. I knew it, but I was angry, and when I saw the way he was holding you... I lost it and I
’
m sorry. Damn it, Hummingbird, I
’
m sorry for the entire night. I
’
ve been so wrapped up in my own misery since you left and I haven
’
t been a very nice or sane person.
”

“
To Cara?
”

He sighed.
“
To anyone.
”

“
You still haven
’
t forgiven her?
”
He didn
’
t say anything.
“
I know you
’
re angry with her, Ryland, but if Cara hadn
’
t done what she did, we never would have been together.
”

“
Yes, we would have,
”
he said firmly.
“
I was infatuated by you the moment I met you, Hummingbird. I told myself I was done with you when you didn
’
t show up that day in the park, but I couldn
’
t stop thinking about you. You had consumed my every thought, and even as I told myself I was going to stay away from you, I knew it was a lie. That day you showed up at my house, I was going to find you, and had you never shown up, I would have found you anyway, Hummingbird.
”

“
You never told me that.
”

“
I should have and I shouldn
’
t have attacked you the way I did earlier, but when I saw you... I couldn
’
t control myself. I had to have you.
”

“
I felt the exact same. I love that you wanted me that much.
”

He moved, pushing my legs apart.
“
I always want you that much, Hummingbird.
”

Hours later, we fell asleep completely exhausted and satisfied. In Ryland
’
s arms was where I wanted to be every night. When morning came, I tried not to pout too much when he told me he had to leave because he planned on quitting today.

“
Will you come back right after?
”

“
Yes,
”
he said, wrapping his lips around my exposed nipple. I purred and my back arched off the bed as he sucked it farther between his lips.
“
Stay exactly like this until I get back. Naked and wet.
”

His words caused my skin to burn hotter than ever before. It excited me and mortified me at the same time.

He laughed.
“
Sorry, I didn
’
t mean to embarrass you.
”

“
You didn
’
t.
”
I lied. I didn
’
t want Ryland to think I was a prude.

“
Such a sweet hummingbird.
”
He kissed me.
“
I
’
ll be back soon.
”

“
I
’
ll be here.
”

It didn
’
t take me long to fall back to sleep when I heard Ryland leave. Being with him one night had managed to erase all the sadness and emptiness I
’
d felt the last couple of months. I was complete.

The phone was on its seventh ring and I knew it wasn
’
t going to be ignored any longer. Groaning, I rolled over in bed and searched for the cordless receiver on my nightstand.

“
Hello?
”
I said, hoping I sounded as grumpy as I felt.

“
Miss Noelle? This is Martha from the front desk. You have a visitor to see you. Shall I send them up?
”

My heart pounded against my ribcage at the thought of Ryland being back already. I clutched the phone with both hands, feeling like I was going to crush it to bits.

“
Yes, ma
’
am, please send them up.
”

My palms were sweaty and I rubbed them against the sheet wrapped around my still naked body, trying to control the tiny dancing birds in my stomach. When I realized he would be here any minute, I jumped out of bed and rushed to the bathroom, hitting my knee in my haste. In record time, I was able to brush my teeth, wash my face, and run a brush through my hair.

There was no time to put any makeup on my face, so I settled for lip gloss and dabbed some of the perfume Makayla had given me on my wrist and neck.

I was in the process of pulling the sheet tighter around me when I heard the first knock on the door. My head snapped up and I brushed the hair from my face. Taking a deep breath, I straightened and walked toward the door.