“Why would anyone think that?” I said sarcastically.
“Yes, it was for good reason,” he conceded. “Yet Professor Brain-Drain, who was there to serve a mere seven-day sentence, insisted on being placed in my cell. Rather than irritate a villain who could drain away his intelligence, the warden gave in and I got my first cell mate in forty years.”
“Why would the Professor have done that?” I asked.
“Ego, of course,” the Red Menace replied. “Even after forty years behind bars, I still had the reputation as the worst villain in Superopolis's history, at least among those who still remembered me. It seemed that the Professor took issue with that, feeling he deserved the honor. We argued the entire seven days over which of us was the worst threat the city ever faced.”
“That's an honor to aspire to,” I said with disgust. “So who won?”
“Why I did, of course,” he said and smirked. “When he was discharged seven days later, Professor BrainDrain left without his powerâwhile I retained every bit of my intelligence.”
“But how?” I asked, fascinated to hear the answer.
“It was an accident, actually,” he admitted. “On the day he arrived, he taunted me by claiming my power was useless against him. He insisted he was far too intelligent to be manipulated. He was probably right. Yet when our first meal together arrived, I casually mentioned to him that he hated potato chips, and that they would dull his intelligence.”
“He made exactly that comment the first time we met,” I said as Professor Brain-Drain's puzzling statement finally made sense to me.
“It was brilliant. He wasn't expecting such a low-key command from me and it slipped through and settled in his brain,” the Red Menace said, sneering. “I had manipulated him without his even knowing it. Of course, I had no idea what the result of this would be. I had merely done it in order to get his share of chips at every meal along with my own.”
“And without the chips, Professor Brain-Drain's power vanished,” I said.
“Exactly. We fought bitterly all week over who was the most evil, and by the end of his seven-day term, he was so angry that he decided to drain my intelligence and leave me behind in prison with my head an empty shell.”
“Only he couldn't,” I stated.
“No, he couldn't.” The Red Menace smirked. “Of course I let him think he had, but it was clear to me that his power had failed. It didn't take me long to figure out why. I had always suspected that potatoes had unique properties. In fact, I had been experimenting with them myself during my original scheme.”
“Yes, my friends and I were strapped onto your potato smasher several weeks ago by the Multiplier,” I admitted.
“I had created that device to extract liquid from potatoes to use as a way of gaining power over the population,” he explained. “But it wasn't until my innocent command to Professor Brain-Drain that I figured out the true power of the potato. And now you, too, have figured out the secret. It only confirms something I've been suspecting for several daysâever since you came to the hospital to see the Amazing Indestructo.”
“What's that?” I asked, not sure I wanted to know the answer.
“That I need to get his Pseudo-Chip business under my complete control,” he replied. “The Amazing Indestructo is a weak fool, and I saw from your visit how easily he might be persuaded to sell his business. So I've decided he
is
going to sell itâto me!”
“Why would he do that? Have
you
come up with a billion dollars?”
“One doesn't need a billion dollars if one has the ability to
order
someone to sell,” he explained. “So far, I've had no need to use my power on the simpleminded, selfish buffoon. But that doesn't mean I can't. The Pseudo-Chip business will be safely in my hands by tomorrow morning.”
“And all for the sake of power,” I concluded.
“Knowledge is the real power,” the elderly villain said calmly as he began to shuffle toward me. “And the effect of Dr. Telomere's chips is the most important piece of knowledge ever. No one else can know it but me. So I'm afraid I have no choice but to eliminate you.”
The Fall of Captain Radio
Just as the Red Menace was about to lunge at me, an enormous roar pierced the silence of city hall. The villain froze in his tracks, and a look of sheer terror spread across his face. Clutching at his chest, he staggered back toward his son's desk.
I spun around and found myself face-to-face with Gore, the velociraptor. No wonder city hall was deserted. There was a man-eating dinosaur roaming through it. Correction, a
meat
-eating dinosaur. I hoped he was still holding to his principles.
“You look like you could use some assistance,” he said dryly. “I suggest we get you out of here.”
I wasn't going to argue. I took off running while Gore trailed behind, making sure the Red Menace wasn't following. It wasn't until we were clear of city hall and approaching the northeast corner of Lava Park that I came to a stop.
“Thank you,” I said as Gore stopped alongside me. “You saved my life.”
“Think nothing of it.” He waved a razor-sharp claw dismissively. “I guess that makes us even.”
“What were you doing in city hall?”
“I had merely come to propose a solution to the mayor regarding the current conflict between animals and humans.” He shrugged. “But heâand everyone elseâfled screaming from the building before I could get two words out. I was searching the entire complex for someone and had just returned to the mayor's office when I witnessed your exchange with that menacing fellow.”
“Did you hear what we were discussing?” I asked.
“Indeed I did,” Gore admitted. “And now I understand why the powers of some of my animal friends have begun to fade. With the exception of a few bags that I still retain, the zoo ran out of chips the same night you paid us a visit. That was the main reason I came to bargain with the mayor.”
“I don't understand.” I shook my head.
“I had hoped to negotiate for better care for the animals of Superopolis while we still had leverage,” he explained. “With our powers fading, I knew this might be the only opportunity.”
“But now you know how to keep your powers going,” I said, not sure this was a good thing.
“I honestly don't think that would be beneficial,” Gore said to my complete surprise. “The animals have used their powers even more frivolously than you humans. For example, the monkeys still throw their own poop at each other, only now they do it from midair. Even worse, the carnivores among us have been using their powers to prey on the weaker species, and nothing I say will stop them. That's the primary reason things need to return to the way they were.”
“I doubt humans would ever willingly give back powers they had been granted,” I proposed.
“Neither would these animals,” Gore countered. “That's why I'm making the decision for them. Not unlike the way, I am guessing, you have made the decision for the members of your own species.”
Gore could tell from the look on my face that he had guessed right.
“You've made the right decision,” he replied. “Despite your species' obvious flaws, you often use the powers bestowed on you to work together for the greater good and for the protection of the least among you. It's a noble endeavor and I compliment you on it.”
I didn't know what to say.
“So get on with your plan,” Gore concluded, “and I'll prepare my fellow creatures for the change that is imminent for them.”
With that, he plunged into a woody area of Lava Park, leaving me bewildered yet oddly proud. But there was no time to waste. I still had no way to get the word out about switching back to Dr. Telomere's chips, and now I had to prevent the Red Menace from taking over the Amazing Indestructo's PseudoChip business, too. I was going to need help.
I hurried as fast as I could to Needlepoint Hill. There were only two heroes I could turn to for help in dealing with the Red Menaceâthe same two heroes who had helped defeat him once before. The elevator car was waiting for me at the base of the mountain, and I let it carry me to the main level of Pinprick Manor. Once again, Lord Pincushion was awaiting my arrival, only this time he looked distinctly different. There wasn't a single sharp object sticking out of him anywhere.
“What happened to your . . .” I started to say.
“My accoutrements?” he finished my sentence, but not with the word I was searching for. “I deemed it prudent to remove themâat least until the mystery of these vanishing powers is solved. To lose my power while fully armed could be lethal.”
Of course he had no way of knowing that Pinprick Manor's supply of Dr. Telomere's chips would keep their powers maintained. That was a secret I needed to keep.
“But regardless, welcome,” he continued. “To what do we owe the pleasure of this visit?”
“It's the Red Menace,” I said. “He's behind the vanishing powers, and I don't know what to do. That's why I've come to see you.”
“I suspected his involvement,” Lord Pincushion said with concern. “Come, let's find the Animator. It's just about time for our evening cocktails, so I expect we'll encounter him in the conservatory.”
Striding briskly through the marvelous house, Lord Pincushion led me to a room that was small but well decorated with expensive-looking furniture. As he had predicted, there we found the Animator. He was bent slightly, examining some roses in a vase. They were bright red and vibrant looking.
“That really isn't a solution,” Lord Pincushion said as we entered. “They're still dead, and your animating them won't change that fact.”
“Well, at least they'll look good while we're sitting here. I'll pick new ones tomorrow,” he added as he turned around and spotted me.
“Ordinary Boy!” he said and his face lit up. As he turned his attention to me, the roses instantly turned drab and wilted.
“I didn't think your power worked on living things,” I said with amazement.
“Oh, it doesn't.” He shook his head. “But when they're dead, it's a different story. The only problem is that it takes my full attention.”
He turned back to the flowers and they revived again, looking fresh and alive.
“I guess I'm just lucky to still have my power.” He shrugged.
“That's why the boy has come,” Lord Pincushion explained as he motioned me toward one of the chairs. He and the Animator sat as well. “It appears that the Red Menace has shown his hand, and is in fact the person responsible for this astounding occurrence.”
“It's true.” I nodded. “And I need to know how you defeated him the last time.”
“Ah, yes, that's quite a story,” Lord Pincushion reminisced, “but in truth a very simple one.”
“It was thanks to MagnoBox,” the Animator explained. “We utilized his power to overcome the Red Menace.”