The Guide to Getting It On (36 page)

B
alls usually take a back seat to the penis. One reason for this is the pleasure a man gets from his testicles is more subtle than the pleasure he gets from his penis. But just because the pleasure is subtle doesn’t mean it should be ignored. As one reader comments, “When my wife caresses my testicles, it’s one part excitement, two parts relaxation, and six parts bliss. I didn’t appreciate this when I was twenty, but now I enjoy it as much as oral sex. The sensation is different, but satisfying.”

Testicle Rules

Testicles are far more rugged than you might think. You can squeeze or pull them with no problem, and they can bang against a lover’s thighs with impunity. But pop them with a simple flick of a finger and you might have to peel their owner off the ceiling. Testicles should feel a bit like hard-boiled eggs without the shell, but they won’t be that big unless your lover is related to a racehorse.

When a man is highly aroused or is just about to come, his scrotum and testicles will pull up to hug the shaft of the penis. In some men this is so extreme you’ll wonder where his testicles went.

The Scrotum

The scrotum surrounds the testicles. It’s a thin layer of skin that is lined with muscles. People mistakenly think of the scrotum as a sack that holds the testicles in place. They believe if the scrotum were opened up, the testicles would fall out. This is not true. The testicles are held in place by the spermatic cords which suspend them from the lower abdomen.

The spermatic cords contain the cremaster muscles and connective tissue as well as arteries, veins, nerves and various tubes. You can remove the entire scrotum and the spermatic cords will still hold the testicles in place.

The scrotum is lined with a layer of smooth muscle which allows it to pucker up. This helps move the testicles closer to the body when they too cold, and farther from it when they are too hot. However, the scrotum doesn’t appear to do the major lifting. That’s the job of the cremaster muscles, which lift the testicles close to the body when a man his highly aroused and ready to ejaculate. They can also reel them in when a man is frightened. While it’s been assumed that the scrotum and cremaster muscles raise and lower the testicles to keep them cooler than the rest of the body, this might be an oversimplification. Debate continues.

The scrotum starts off in the womb being the same tissue as the labia majora or large lips of the female genitals. If the baby is a boy, nature creates the scrotum by zipping up the two lips that would otherwise become the labia majora. This is why the scrotum has a seam running up the middle. It’s where the two labia fused together to make a scrotum. Fused or not, the skin on the scrotum has the same kind of sweat and oil-producing glands, hair follicles and nerve endings as the labia majora. It should feel the same as the labia majora when it is caressed by a lover’s fingers or mouth.

What’s Inside a Ball?

Technically, the testicles are glands that produce testosterone and sperm. One is often bigger than the other, and one hangs lower. Each testicle is a factory. Sperm are produced in the tubules, stored and aged in the epididymis, and sent up into the abdomen through the vas deferens. Contrary to what you might think, sperm don’t go straight from the testicles into the penis. Instead, they travel up into the pelvis to a place behind the bladder. That’s where they make the connection with a tube that draws them in through the prostate gland. From there, they eventually shoot out through the penis during ejaculation.

An Undescended Testicle

The medical term for undescended testicles is “cryptorchidism,” which is Greek for “hidden gonad.” One way to get hidden gonads is to go surfing during the winter; another way is to be born with them.

Contrary to what seems logical, the testicles in the male fetus don’t form between the legs. Instead, they develop inside the abdomen and do not descend into his scrotum until a month or two before the baby is born. They make the journey from the abdomen into the scrotum through the inguinal canal.

Almost 3.5% of males are born with an undescended testicle. This testicle often descends on its own without medical intervention, so that by one year of age, only 1% of males (1 out of 100 or 150) still have an undescended testicle. In 90% of these cases, it’s just one of the testicles that is undescended.

If the testicle remains undescended after the boy reaches one year of age, the current practice is to treat it surgically. This is often done as an outpatient operation. Attempts to coax the testicle down with hormone therapy have unacceptable side effects. Any gains are usually short-lived. The problem with a testicle remaining undescended past the first year of age is that it tends to become infertile.

If you are the parents of a child with an undescended testicle, be sure to get a second or third opinion from a pediatric urologist. As Dr. Joseph Dwoskin, a urologist from Texas Tech, says, “There are as many opinions about testes as there are physicians who examine them.” It is also important to make sure that everything is well documented in the boy’s medical records. This will be invaluable should there be problems in ten or twenty years.

Late-Breaking News

Physicians are beginning to find that some guys who are sterile as adults got that way because they were playing sports without a cup and took a significant hit between the legs. Any man or boy who is involved in a contact sport should wear a cup. Ditto if he is playing catcher in baseball or goalie in most sports. The downside of wearing a cup is the discomfort, the upside is they can make you look really well hung. Fortunately, there are way nicer cups than most department stores and sporting-goods chain stores carry. Check out the Shock Doc cups at
www.shockdoctor.com
and the Spider Flex cup at
www.sawsports.com
.

A Varicocele

Fifteen percent of young men have a condition in their scrotum called a varicocele. This is when the veins that exit a testicle become enlarged. While most guys never know they have a varicocele, in some cases it can get large enough to feel like a small clumpy sack of worms above one of the testicles.

How does a varicocele form? Testicles need a constant flow of blood from the rest of the body to get oxygen and nutrients, to probably help them stay cool, and to distribute the testosterone they make to the rest of the body. This means the blood that’s leaving the testicles has to drain upward, against the pull of gravity, unless a man is laying down. (Varicoceles go away when a guy lies down because the uphill resistance is gone.)

The veins leaving the testicles contain gates or valves to help keep the blood flowing up hill from the testicles to the heart and to prevent backflow. If these valves don’t function well, the downward pressure can cause these veins to widen. That’s what a varicocele is.

More than 90% of varicoceles occur above the left testicle. That’s because the blood that drains from the left testicle encounters more resistance when it returns into the body than the blood in the right testicle. Varicoceles can be associated with infertility. So while varicoceles usually cause no problems, if you think you have one, be sure to have it checked out.

Ball Tending

If you are attempting give your partner’s testicles a good time, start by placing your fingertips on the sides of his scrotum and caressing lightly. Let his verbal feedback guide you. You might also try resting the palm of your hand over his penis with your fingertips pointing down. Experiment with lightly massaging the back part of the scrotum, where it attaches to his body. As your fingers move, the part of your wrist that’s resting on his penis will move as well. This should give his penis pleasure, which might mix nicely with the more subtle sensations that your fingertips are providing his testicles.

Intercourse Extra

You can handle a man’s testicles during intercourse from some positions, such as the reverse cowgirl where you are on top facing his feet. Different rear-entry positions may also allow you to reach between your legs and caress his testicles. Experiment and see what both of you and both of them like best.

The Exquisite Brush-Off

Have your partner spread his legs and gently brush his inner thighs, testicles, penis, and abdomen with a soft makeup brush or an artist’s brush. Doing repeated circles around the scrotum can feel especially nice. The sensation is subtle, somewhere between a feather and a fingertip. It can feel relaxing and exciting at the same time. If you enjoy taking control, you can always tie him up first. Don’t limit your strokes to just his genitals. If you’re lucky, he’ll grab the brush and return the favor.

Perineum: Taint, Gooch or Grundle

There is a patch of anatomical real estate between the testicles and rectum which is often ignored but has the potential for sensation. It is called the perineum. (Women have one, too.) Tantric and Hindu types get all excited about this particular area and regard it with the same kind of awe that we Westerners sometimes do the reset button on the computer. Place your fingertips on this area with just enough pressure so the skin moves over the tissue beneath it. Experiment and see what feels best.

Another Kind of Tenderness

Don’t hesitate to reach between your man’s legs and cup or cradle his genitals at nonsexual times, like when watching TV or while falling asleep. Some men will find this to be extremely thoughtful and caring. Others will find it too arousing, uncomfortable or intrusive.

Cancer of the Testicles

The term “cancer of the testicles” is a misnomer. It should be cancer of the testicle (singular), given how it’s usually only one testicle that gets the cancer. The good news is we need only one testicle to be fertile and to have a perfectly normal sex drive. The reason for having the other testicle is for back-up or pocket pool.