The Heart of Tomorrow (Book Two) (The Tomorrow Series 2) (23 page)

Thirty-Three

Drew didn’t press me anymore that night. He merely joined me in bed, not saying a word, but kissing my shoulder and then going to sleep himself. He didn’t try and touch me again and I knew he wouldn’t…not until I told him it was okay.

Life had to go on though and that meant telling the guests we’d invited to the wedding that we were postponing it. It was easy telling them because all we had to say was Drew’s work schedule wouldn’t allow such a quick wedding. Telling my mother was another story though.

“You’re postponing the wedding? Seriously, Natalie?” Her voice was snippy, which made telling her about the miscarriage even harder. “It was such short notice. People had to rearrange their schedules and now you’re changing it?”

“I lost the baby,” I interrupted quietly, followed by complete silence that lasted to the point it started to get uncomfortable.

“I’m so sorry, honey,” she finally said, her gentle tone completely different from her initial reaction. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay. I’ll be fine,” I said quickly.   

“But, if you’re not, you’ll let me know, won’t you?”

“Yes, Mom, but I’ll be all right. It’s been a few weeks already and I’m doing okay,” I said and the silence settled in again. I could tell she was worried and I knew there was nothing I could say to change that.

“Do I need to come out and stay for a bit?”

“No. Really. I’m just a little sad. It’s nothing that won’t pass. It’s probably for the best anyway. Our lives are so crazy right now,” I said in an attempt to convince myself. “But, thank you for the offer.”

“If you change your mind, you let me know.”

“I will.”

“Have you and Drew discussed a new wedding date?”

“Not yet. We’ve been dealing with this. There’s no rush anymore.”

“I know, honey,” she said gently and our conversation ended a few minutes later. She finished it off with small talk about work and my brother and a promise that I’d let her know if I needed anything.

I think that was the turning point. Everyone knew the wedding was off, there was no more baby and I could pick up my life where it’d left off before the pregnancy had changed it all. I could go on as normal, even though I knew my life would never be the same. 

Drew had been careful around me and I didn’t blame him. He didn’t want to upset me and so I took his gentle touches and kisses on the forehead or the cheek as his way of telling me he was thinking about me without having to say it.          

“My family’s decided to come up for the grand opening of our building,” he said a few nights later as we sat across from each other at dinner. I’d made stir-fry and we’d eaten it quietly until he spoke. I liked how he called it our building.

“That’s nice. Just your mom and dad?”

“Kayla too and Christina is going to try and come,” he said with apprehension.

“It’ll be nice to see Kayla again,” I said, deliberately leaving out his other sister.

“I was thinking we could all go out to a nice dinner before the show.”

“There’s a show too?”

“The Moscow Ballet will be the first act to perform in the new building.”

“I’ve never been to a ballet. Should be interesting.”

“Dinner’s okay then? Beforehand?” he asked and I didn’t like how formal we were being with each other. I hated the distance that had settled between us lately. I knew it was mostly my doing. He was just following my lead.

“Of course it is,” I said, focusing on my dinner.

“Natalie,” he said softly, his voice drawing my eyes to his. “I’m really looking forward to Saturday…to going out together.”

There was a kind smile on his face, the kind that made me feel how much he loved me.

“Me too,” I answered and then he reached across the table, taking my hand in his.

“How are you?” he asked gently. “You don’t talk to me anymore. I’m worried.”

I hated what I was doing to him. Pushing him away was not my intention. He’d been nothing but supportive. He never pressured me or made me feel that my feelings weren’t justified, but my emotions weren’t something I could put a finger on. It was starting to take its toll though. I could see that by the look of worry on his face.

“I don’t mean to shut you out. Thank you for being so understanding. You’re too good to me. I don’t understand why you do it.”

“Because I love you,” he said and although his words were simple, they meant so much.

Thirty-Four

“You must be getting excited about the wedding,” Kara said as we ate our lunch in the break room.

“We’ve actually decided to postpone it,” I said and I watched as they both stared at me with wide eyes.

“Is everything okay? You didn’t break up, did you?” Ava asked.

“No. Nothing like that,” I said quickly. “He’s just got a lot going on at work we hadn’t anticipated on and it’s really too much right now,” I said, not telling the truth behind the real reason.

“Has any new date been set yet?” Kara inquired.

“Not yet. Things are kinda crazy in the California office, so we’ll wait until things settle down I guess.”

“It’ll give you time to plan some amazing destination wedding. Hawaii. Fiji. Ireland perhaps.” Ava grinned and I nodded, knowing she was probably right. Drew would give me any wedding I wanted no matter where it was.

“Good point,” I said, hoping the conversation would end.

“Are you okay with all of it? Postponing the wedding? You haven’t seemed like yourself since you got back from your surgery.”

“I’m fine. I’ve just got a lot on my mind with grad school and with the opening of the new arts center Drew designed. I’ve got to decide on something to wear.”

“Are you talking about that new performing arts center uptown?”

“Yes. That’s the one.”

“The producers mentioned doing a piece on that. I didn’t know Drew was the architect behind it,” Kara said and I could hear the eagerness in her voice. “Do you think you could hook me up with an interview the night of the opening?”

“Are you serious? You want to interview Drew?”

“Of course,” she said eagerly. Ever since she’d anchored the news that first time, she’d filled in periodically and was loving it. I could tell she wanted to do whatever she could to show the station her value. “Please don’t be offended when I say this, Natalie, but the camera will love him, as will the audience at home. Plus, the producers will love it. Do you think you can work it out?”

“Yeah, I can do that,” I said, deciding this would be a good way to repay her for all the help she’d given me.

~~~

I hadn’t felt like going shopping for Saturday night, so I looked through my closet, deciding on a form fitting white dress that hugged my curves and fell to my ankles. The slit up my side showed enough leg to protect my modesty while also being alluring. It was sleeveless, but had a high neckline, which I didn’t think would meet with Drew’s approval. He liked a little cleavage and this dress gave him none. It was classy though and would be perfect for an event such as this. I finished it off by pinning my sides back with pretty barrettes and a pair of high red pumps before staring at myself in the mirror. I had to admit it felt nice to get dressed up. I was looking forward to having a good time and putting the events of the last few weeks to the back of mind and trying to move past it.

I heard our bedroom door push open and when I turned my head, I saw Drew standing in the door looking beyond handsome in a tailored black tuxedo. I watched as his eyes traveled up my body before he stepped all the way in.

“You’re stunning,” he said, coming over to me and kissing me sweetly on the cheek.

“It’s not a new dress. I didn’t feel much like shopping though.”

“It’s perfect,” he said, kissing me again and then he looked in the mirror and straightened his tie. “You think I look okay for TV?”

“You could be wearing a burlap sack and you’d be ready for TV.”

“Your opinion of me is entirely too high,” he said, turning away from the mirror. “I still can’t believe I agreed to this.”

“You’re not backing out, are you?”

“Of course not. I know it’s important to your friend, which in turn means it’s important to you. I would never do something to disappoint you.” He took my chin gently and kissed me.

“Thank you. I know Kara will be grateful,” I said and then he took my hand.

“Can we sit for a moment?”

I looked at him curiously, noticing the drop in his voice, but followed him to the edge of the bed where we sat down beside each other.

“Is everything okay?”

“It’s fine, but I can tell you’re not okay and I’ve been thinking of how I can help you,” he began gently. “I know you’re hurting. I’m still hurting too, but I can see the void inside of you. I see it in everything you do and I know this isn’t much,” he said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small box I knew contained jewelry. He held it out to me and then opened it, revealing a silver bracelet with one simple charm containing a purple stone. “Our baby should’ve been born in February and this is the birthstone for February, amethyst. I thought,” he said and then paused as his voice grew softer. “I thought you could wear this and remember. I got myself a pair of cufflinks with the same stone.” He held a sleeve up to me, revealing stones that matched my bracelet. 

“Oh my gosh, Drew,” I whispered as my fingers brushed over the bracelet, taking it out and holding it up. I felt my eyes growing warm and when I looked up at him and blinked, tears fell silently down my cheeks. “Thank you,” I said as I tried putting it on. He took it from me though and clasped it on my wrist. 

“You like it then?” he asked as we both looked down at the bracelet.

“I absolutely love it. You’re too good to me.”

I leaned in, wrapping my arms around him. I felt him embrace me as well, holding me tightly.

“I love you, Natalie. I only want you to be happy.”

“I love you too,” I said, pulling back and wiping my eyes. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a handkerchief, gently blotting my cheeks.

“You look so beautiful tonight,” he said, tracing my jaw line with his fingertips. “I’ve been looking forward to this all week.”

“Me too,” I said, squeezing his hand and then standing up. “I have a feeling it’s going to be a good night.”

I felt a sense of peace I hadn’t felt in weeks. This had been one of the hardest times of my life and I’d pulled away from Drew because I hadn’t known what else to do. The hurt was too deep, but as he looked up at me now, I knew all he wanted was to make sure I was okay. The bracelet would be a way to always remember our child, but what I would think about most when I looked at it was of the man who’d given it to me and the fact we’d created a life together and mostly the fact of how much he loved me.

~~~

Drew’s family was waiting for us at the restaurant, an upscale Italian place in Midtown. I was excited to see Kayla and she greeted me with a warm hug. I was relieved not to see Christina though. We hadn’t had any contact since she showed up at the apartment that day and I didn’t know how much contact Drew had had with her. She hadn’t been a part of our life and after the way she’d treated me, that’s the way I liked it. I was determined tonight was going to be the turnaround I needed and having her around, regardless if she was on her best behavior or not, her presence would not help.

I relaxed too soon though because just as we were giving our drink orders to the waiter, she came striding in, looking striking in a bright pink dress, her jet black hair lying flawlessly straight down her back. She went around kissing everyone on the cheek, but gave me a curt nod before sitting down next to Janice.

“I wasn’t sure you were going to make it,” Drew said once she was settled.

“You think I’d miss another one of my perfect brother’s accomplishments? I wouldn’t miss the chance to show mom and dad yet again what a disappointment I am.” She laughed as she said it, but no one else did.

“Well, I for one, am so excited to see this new building,” Janice spoke up.

“I don’t think I told you, but Natalie helped design this one,” he said, eyeing me with a smile.

“I didn’t know you dabbled in architecture,” his father chimed in.

“I don’t. Drew is being generous. I gave some ideas, that’s all.”

“She’s being too modest. I was about to get thrown off the project until I listened to her advice,” he said, reaching over and covering his hand with mine.

“While you were still working for him, right? As his assistant?” Christina added, but I’d have to be deaf not to pick up on how snide her voice was.

“Yes,” I answered simply.

“I didn’t think your assistants held that kind of influence on you, Andrew.”

“My assistants help me with many things at the office.”

“Natalie got you much more than your coffee though, didn’t she?” Christina laughed and I could feel myself tensing up, trying not to react. She was upping her game though. She’d been discreet in the past. She’d been emboldened now and decided to start belittling me publicly.

“Christina,” Kayla said quickly. “That’s enough.”

“C’mon. Lighten up. I’m only having a little fun. It’s no secret they hooked up while she still worked for him. Why do we have to pretend?”

“Because it’s called having class,” Kayla jumped in. I glanced over to Drew while my stomach started to knot. He was glaring at Christina across the table and when her eyes met his, I could’ve sworn I saw daggers flying between them.

“I’ll not have you upsetting the whole evening, Chris,” he said, his voice deep with warning.

“I was simply making conversation.”

“I’m serious, Christina. Not another word. Natalie is in no condition to listen to your remarks and frankly, I’m sick of them too. I’ve already spoken to you about your behavior towards my fiancée. I won’t have it.”

“You’re always trying to protect everyone, aren’t you?” she said, staring directly at Drew with a harsh glare. “You’ve never been very good at it though.”

Silence settled between them. They exchanged an icy stare as I held onto Drew’s hand tightly, but he didn’t seem aware of my presence at all.

“I’m going to have to ask you to leave, Christina.”

“Why? What’d I do?”

“Seriously, Chris,” Kayla jumped in. “You’re acting like a complete cow.”

Christina shot a glare to her sister and then she moved it to me. Her stare was cold and I willed myself to stay strong. I couldn’t appear weak even though I was a mess inside.

“Perhaps it is best if you go,” Kent said softly and Christina whipped her head towards her father.

“Perhaps it is. I wouldn’t want to intrude on the golden boy’s big night,” she said curtly, standing up. “Enjoy the rest of your evening.”

She turned on her heel and headed towards the door, Drew standing up quickly and following her outside. He looked as if his head was going to explode as he went after her and then I was left awkwardly with his family.

“I am so sorry for Christina’s behavior, Natalie,” Kayla said, remorsefully as she reached across the table and rested her hand on mine.

“Yes, dear. Our apologies as well,” Janice said softly, shaking her head. “Truly.”

“I’m worried about her,” Kent added and I saw his wife and daughter nod in agreement and then it was quiet until Drew returned a few minutes later. He still looked angry when he got back, but he sat down and took a long drink of water before taking my hand.

“Are you okay?” I asked softly.

“I’m fine,” he said, kissing me on the cheek and taking another drink of water.

“Is Christina all right?” Janice asked cautiously.

“Something’s got to be done about her. I won’t have anything more to do with her until she’s got herself under control.”

“That’s going a little far, don’t you think?” Janice added nervously. I could only imagine what it felt like to have her children fighting.

“It’s not, Mom. I’ve tried helping her. You know I have. She’s been nothing but horrible to Natalie and I’ve tried telling myself she’s harmless, but she’s far from harmless and she will not insult Natalie, especially now, not with everything that’s happened.”

I’d never seen him so upset, but in true Drew fashion, he’d been in total control, or so I thought until his last comment.

“What’s happened, dear?” Janice prodded and I could feel my nerves kicking in. No one knew about the baby aside from Court and my mom. That’s how I’d wanted it. I didn’t think I’d want to talk about it, but then my eyes drifted to my bracelet and I knew part of remembering our child was to talk about it. The baby couldn’t be remembered if no one knew about it.

“Nothing, Mom. Stress at work. That’s all,” he lied, looking over at me apologetically.

“It’s okay,” I said, softly to him and he looked at me quizzically. “You can tell them.”

Again, his eyebrow arched, but I nodded and he squeezed my hand.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” I said, nodding my approval and Drew gave me a supportive smile, leaning over and kissing me on the temple, pausing for a few seconds before he spoke. I was nervous as I looked around at their curious faces.

“Natalie suffered a miscarriage a few weeks ago,” he said quietly and I saw Janice and Kayla’s hands fly to their mouths, silence settling in as they absorbed his words.

“I’m so sorry, dear,” Janice said a few moments later. “I had no idea you were even pregnant.”