The Heart of Tomorrow (Book Two) (The Tomorrow Series 2) (19 page)

“C’mon. You can’t be that tired,” Anna chided.

“I am. I’m exhausted lately. I can’t shake it no matter what I do.”

“Maybe you’re pregnant,” Mitch said flatly.

“What?” I laughed.

“My ex-wife was wiped when she was pregnant. I had to practically drag her out of bed to do anything. No wonder we didn’t last,” he grunted, taking a long swig of his beer and I had to laugh again.

“Yeah, well that’s pretty unlikely,” I laughed.

“Just sayin’,” Mitch mumbled and all three of us cracked up.

“Speaking of pregnancy, when will Drew be back?” Ava asked, raising her eyebrows up and down. The way she lusted over my fiancé made me laugh.

“Not sure.”

“I personally think you’re insane for not going with him,” Ava said, taking another drink.

“I probably am, but I actually really like my job.”

“I think we have a little Kara in the making,” she laughed.

“I take that as a compliment,” Kara said, giving me a squeeze. “Are you going to pursue it anymore than you are?”

“I actually applied to grad school to be just like you, Kara,” I grinned at her.

“You did it?”

“I did.”

“Why didn’t you tell us?”

“I was waiting to see if I got accepted. I didn’t want to embarrass myself.”

“You’ll get in. I have no doubt,” she said.

“And now we have two things to celebrate,” Ava said, raising her glass. We all did the same and I hoped she was right.

~~~

We only stayed at the bar an hour, which I was grateful for. I was glad I’d gone out to celebrate with Kara, but I was looking forward to my night of vegging out and relaxing and if I was going to spend my night on the couch, I needed to have staples for a lonely night on hand.

I got off the subway early. There weren’t stores around our apartment, unless Gucci or Dolce & Cabana counted and once I entered the market I often went to, I browsed the aisles, filling my basket with cookies, ice cream and chips. I glanced down at the contents and shook my head. I never ate like this, but it didn’t stop me and I continued to wander the aisles.

I heard Mitch’s voice in my head and I was curious. I knew it was a ludicrous notion, but I looked at the calendar and realized my period was a couple of days late, but nothing overly concerning. I decided to pick up a pregnancy test anyway to silence the bit of doubt Mitch had planted in my brain. I grabbed one I’d seen on TV and tossed it into my basket before heading to the checkout line.

I was home soon after and emptied the contents of my shopping bag into the cupboards and the freezer before my eyes settled on the pregnancy test. I picked it up and headed to the bathroom. I wouldn’t be able to enjoy my night until I got the little nagging feeling out of my head.

I’d never seen a pregnancy test, but as my eyes skimmed over the directions. It seemed simple enough. Pee on the stick and wait and that’s what I did, setting the timer on the stove while I opened a box of Cheez-Its and started snacking as I turned on the TV, queuing up Netflix and browsing for what I’d watch until I heard the timer start to beep. I turned it off and went back to the bathroom, staring down at the little stick on the counter and I swear I felt my heart stop as I was greeted with two lines. Pregnant.

I couldn’t breathe. I felt my knees buckling and I stumbled backwards, leaning against the wall as my shaking hands came to my mouth. It’d never even crossed my mind. I’d taken the test as a joke. I’d never expected this. I’d told myself this couldn’t be. It wasn’t possible, but according to the test, it was possible and it was happening and I didn’t know what in the hell I was going to do.

Twenty-Seven

I eventually left the bathroom, but only to walk numbly to the bedroom. I changed out of my work clothes, my movements slow and robotic and then I sat on the bed, lifting up my shirt and staring down at my stomach. I couldn’t be that far along. It had to have happened when he was home for the engagement party, but I didn’t know how. I never missed my birth control pill. Never. Somehow it had happened though and I rested my hand on my stomach, trying to comprehend that inside was a little baby. Part me. Part Drew.

The phone started ringing, but I continued to sit on the bed, ignoring it. I knew it had to be Drew, but I couldn’t talk to him yet. This wasn’t something I wanted to tell him over the phone, but I couldn’t keep it from him either. Still, I wasn’t ready. The phone continued to ring and I continued to ignore it.

The intercom buzzed a few minutes later. I ignored it too, but then I heard a deep voice ring through the apartment.

“Miss Vasser? It’s Charlie,” the doorman’s voice said. “Mr. Saben phoned and wanted me to check that you’re all right. Is everything okay, miss?”

I didn’t need the police showing up because I knew that’s what Drew would do if he didn’t know I was okay. I quickly rushed down the hall to the intercom.

“Yes, Charlie. I’m fine. I must’ve missed his call. I’ll phone him right away. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, miss.”

It was quiet then and I looked down at my bag that was still lying where I’d dropped it. Nervously, I reached inside and immediately saw the missed calls and voicemails from Drew. I didn’t bother listening to them though. Instead, I found his name in my contacts and hit send. It only rang once when he picked up.

“Natalie. Where have you been?” he answered quickly and I could hear the worry in his voice.

“I’m sorry. My battery must’ve died,” I lied. “I didn’t realize until Charlie called up to check on me.”

“Your battery wasn’t dead. Had that been the case, it would’ve gone straight to voicemail. It didn’t.” I could hear the suspicion in his voice and I hated that I’d lied to him. I didn’t want him to worry. I wanted to tell him on my terms. I needed some time to figure it out, but it appeared I wasn’t going to get that time.

“I’m sorry,” I said softly. “I was busy and I didn’t know how…” I said, my voice cracking and then fading off, unable to go on.

“Baby…what’s wrong?” he asked, but I couldn’t answer, I just started crying. I hoped he couldn’t hear me, but I knew he had. “Natalie. You’re scaring me. What’s going on? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” I managed to whisper. “But…I don’t know how…” I tried again, but I couldn’t get the words out.

“Talk to me, Natalie!” he said, nearly shouting into the phone. “Please.”

I took in a deep breath, wiping my face with the back of my hand and tried to compose myself.

“I’m pregnant, Drew,” I whispered and the line went so quiet I thought he’d hung up.

It was silent as I sat with the phone pressed to my ear and I prayed he’d say something.

“Are you sure?” he finally said and I was surprised to hear a quiet laugh leave my throat.

“That’s what the test says,” I answered and it was quiet again.

“How? I thought you were on the pill,” he stammered and I could feel my heart pounding. I knew he was in shock and trying to process this just as I had.

“I am. I don’t know how this happened, but it did,” I said, choking up again and the phone was once again silent. “I’m sorry,” I whispered after the silence became too much for me.

“Don’t you dare apologize, Natalie,” he said and I could hear a tremor in his voice. “This is the greatest gift anyone has ever given me, so don’t you dare apologize.” I heard him sniffle and I knew he was crying too.

“I’m scared, Drew.”

“I know you’re scared, baby, but everything will be okay. I know this wasn’t in the plans right now, but we’ll make it work and I…I’m…” he stuttered and I heard him choking up again. “There are no words to describe how I’m feeling right now.” He paused again and I could tell he was trying to collect himself. “I’d give anything to be there right now. I’m sorry I’m not there.”

“I wish you were here too. I need you,” I said softly.

“I’ll be home tomorrow. I’m booking a flight tonight.”

“You don’t have to do that. I’ll be okay.”

“Nothing could keep me from you right now. I’d leave tonight if I could, but I’m coming home tomorrow and I’m coming home for good.”

His words caused me to jerk back.

“For good?”

“I’m done being 3,000 miles away from you. Things are under control here. I can fly back once a month and check on things. The hospital project is back on track and that was my biggest worry. I’m coming home.”

I felt a lump stinging my throat when I heard his words. He was coming home. I wasn’t going to be alone as I went through this.

“I love you, Drew.”

“And I’ve never loved you more than I do right now, Natalie.”

I blinked and tears spilled down my face. Tomorrow couldn’t come fast enough.

Twenty-Eight

I hardly slept. I laid in bed, curled under the covers, the TV humming in the background. I may have dozed off eventually, but when the first light of the morning spilled into the room, I woke up feeling exhausted and groggy. My body hurt and for a moment I forgot why I was so tense, but when my mind cleared and I remembered, my stomach was sick. I got up and took a long shower. It made me feel better, but only for a little bit.

My phone started ringing as I was toweling off my hair. I picked it up and saw it was Drew, which surprised me since it was only five a.m. there.

“How are you this morning?” he said when I picked up. Just hearing his voice helped ease some of my stress.

“Better,” I said softly, which was true, even if I was still scared out of my mind.

“I’m at the airport. I got the first flight out I could. It leaves in a half-hour and I land at one o’clock, East Coast time.”

“That’s the best news I’ve heard in a while,” I said, trying to muster up a laugh.

“I love you, Natalie. I’m going to grab something for the plane before we start boarding.”

“I thought they fed you in first class.”

“All the first class seats were sold out.”

“What?” I laughed. “You’re actually flying coach for me?”

“I’d ride in cargo if it got me to you,” he said lightheartedly, but I could feel a lump forming in my throat and it grew quiet for a few seconds. “You still don’t get it, do you?”

“What?”

“How much I love you. You should know by now that I’d do anything for you.”

I swallowed hard through the lump in my throat. I did know. He’d shown me from the day we met, but I always had that little corner of doubt in my mind that didn’t quite understand why he loved me the way he did.

“Go get your breakfast,” I said quietly. “Fly safe. I’ll be waiting for you. I love you.”

“I love you too. I’ll see you soon,” he said and the line went dead. I glanced at the clock, wishing I could somehow speed up the next six hours.

I couldn’t sit around the apartment. I’d go crazy waiting for him. I decided to return to the market. The cupboards were at a minimum since I’d only purchased junk food and I was anxious to make him dinner that we’d eat together. I chose to make something that would pass the time preparing: my mother’s beef stroganoff with homemade noodles. The noodles took so long to make that I couldn’t recall the last time I’d actually invested that kind of effort into a meal. I had nothing but time now and I busily got to work mixing the ingredients when I returned home.

I still had time to kill when they were done and so I went around the house making sure everything was perfect for his homecoming. I stopped at the door to the spare room and looked inside. The room was rarely used and I tried envisioning what it would look like painted a soft green or yellow with a crib and changing table instead of a king sized bed and armoire. I shook my head. It hadn’t even been twenty-four hours since I found out I was pregnant. It was too early to start planning a nursery.

I was reading on the couch when Drew texted shortly after one o’clock to tell me he’d landed. I knew it would be at least an hour before he was home after getting his luggage and grabbing a cab. Still, my heart started pounding in anticipation knowing he was so close.

I tried relaxing while I waited, but nothing could calm me and when I finally heard the doorknob turn, I practically jumped to my feet.

He pushed the door open quickly and then I saw him standing in the doorway, staring at me in a way he never had. He looked as if he’d been up all night too by the circles under his eyes. My mind was whisked back to the first moment I’d looked into those eyes. I never could’ve imagined then that Drew and I would be here now. I couldn’t have prepared myself for how stepping foot into his office that day would change my life.

“Natalie,” he said softly, dropping his bags and walking towards me. He stopped in front of me, his eyes locking with mine and then he pulled me to him. The moment I felt his arms around me, the tension started to lift and for the first time since finding out, there was a twinge of excitement about the baby and what it meant for our future.

I almost protested when he let me go, but then I felt his hands on my hips as he lowered himself on his knees. Slowly, he pushed my shirt up as he gazed at my stomach before pressing his lips gently against my skin, kissing it sweetly.

“I can’t believe our baby is in here,” he said softly, tracing his fingertips over my stomach. “It’s incredible.” He kissed my stomach again and wrapped his arms around me, resting his head against my belly for a long while. I rubbed his head while he held me and then eased himself up, cradling my face in his hands. I could see tears in his eyes as his gaze moved over me. “I have never seen you more beautiful than you are right now and I have never loved you more,” he said as he brushed his lips against mine, so gentle and sweet.

“You’re okay with this then?” I asked nervously and I saw him balk a little.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy.”

“You’re not afraid?”

“Of course I’m afraid,” he laughed lightly. “The responsibility of bringing a life into this world terrifies me, but I want nothing more than to be a father and to have you by my side as we figure it all out.” 

I felt the tears sliding down my cheeks, but I also knew I was smiling. He was smiling too and he wiped my face before he took my hand, leading me to the couch. We sunk into the cushions and I rested my head on his shoulder as he draped his arm around me.

“Thank you for coming home.”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here when you found out.”

“Me too,” I said honestly and he sat up, looking at me with serious eyes.

“Are you okay?” he asked gently and I shrugged my shoulders.

“I really don’t know how to feel. I don’t understand how this even happened. I haven’t missed my pill. Ever.”

“Then this baby must be destined for greatness since it had to fight every obstacle to get here,” he said with a happy smile, but I was still trying to wrap my head around the situation, so I wasn’t sharing his eagerness. I tried to smile as he was, but I could only manage a nervous grin. I could see the bewilderment on his face and he took my hand, pressing his lips to the back of it. “You do want our baby, don’t you?” he asked and I hated hearing the worry in his voice.

“Of course I want our baby,” I answered. “But…this wasn’t in our plan. We weren’t even on the same coast and I just applied to graduate school. We were just starting to make some headway into figuring out our own lives and now…”

“This incredible gift happened,” he interrupted and we sat quietly for a few moments. “I know the timing’s not ideal, but I believe things happen for a reason. You came into my office for a reason and I fell in love with you for a reason and now that reason is here.” He placed his hand on my stomach, smiling at it. “Everything will work out. You may have to put off grad school for a while, but everything will come together. I love you, Natalie.” He took my hands and stared into my eyes. “I’ve always wanted to be a father. The only thing that makes this better is that I’ll be doing it with you as my partner.”

I felt a sense of relief wash over my body knowing that he was going to be by my side through everything. There was no doubt that he loved me and somehow this would all work out. The corners of my mouth turned up into a nervous smile and when I blinked, a few more tears fell down my cheeks. This time though, I thought they might be tears of happiness.

~~~

“You didn’t need to go to all this trouble,” Drew said as he did the dishes. I’d tried helping him clear the table after our stroganoff dinner, but he’d insisted I sit down and rest. I had a feeling he’d be treating me like a China doll until the baby came.

“I needed to keep my mind occupied,” I told him.

“Even though it was delicious, and I sincerely mean that,” he grinned over to me. “I want you to take it easy.

“I’m fine, Drew.”

“You’re pregnant though.”

“Exactly. I’m pregnant. It’s a condition, not a disease and I’m fine aside from being tired.”

“That’s normal though,” he chimed in as he loaded the last dish into the dishwasher. “While on the plane, I found this website called babycenter.com and it tells you every symptom for each stage of pregnancy. I even signed up to receive weekly emails about the baby’s stats. Right now Baby Saben is about the size of sesame seed.”

I couldn’t stop myself from laughing and he closed the dishwasher, leaning against the counter, grinning a crooked smile at me.

“And how do you know that?” I asked him.

“I plugged in your due date and they gave me a rather detailed diagram and descriptions,” he said with a playful smile.

“And how’d you know my due date? I don’t even know my due date.”

“Well, I’m assuming it happened when I was here for the engagement party, which was five weeks ago, and my guess is it was the night I told you you’d never forget me when I was done with you and it looks like I was right.”

“I guess so,” I laughed and then his smile faded and he gazed over to where I was sitting.

“It’s good to hear you laugh, Natalie,” he said and then paused for a few moments. “When I walked in earlier, you looked terrified and I’m glad you’re smiling now.”

I looked out the window at Central Park for a moment before meeting his eyes again.

“You always make me smile,” I said and it grew quiet between us for a few moments as he continued to look at me with a soft smile. “You seem excited about this, Drew.”

“That’s an understatement,” he said, walking into the living room where he’d left his bags. We hadn’t done anything since he got home other than take a long nap since neither of us had gotten much sleep. It was time for dinner when we woke up and so his luggage remained by the front door.

“What do you have there?” I asked when he returned a moment later, holding something navy blue in his hand.

“Well,” he said, an excited grin on his face. “I was walking towards baggage claim and this caught my eye. I couldn’t resist.”

He splayed the material onto the table and I started to laugh when I realized it was a baby t-shirt that read:
Born to be a Yankee Fan
.

“You didn’t,” I laughed, grabbing the shirt and holding it up, amazed at how tiny it was.

“I did and it’s suitable for a boy or a girl.”

“That it is,” I grinned, folding the little shirt into a neat square and then reached across the table, taking his hand. “Thank you for being so supportive…for making me feel like it’ll be okay.”

He squeezed my hand and leaned in, brushing his lips against mine.

“I’m sorry you had any doubts that I’d react any other way.”

“I was scared.”

“I know, but we’re on this ride together and I don’t plan on getting off any time soon.”

I felt myself getting teary eyed again and he reached for a napkin, drying my eyes.

“I can’t seem to get control of my emotions,” I said between a laugh and cry.

“Another side effect of pregnancy due to the hormonal changes in your body. See? Babycenter does come in handy,” he said with a smile and I stood up, encouraging him to do the same, burying myself in his chest as he wrapped his arms around me. We stood quietly until he pulled back, taking my hand and leading me down the hall to our bedroom.

“I’ve never wanted you more than I do right now,” he said, brushing his fingertips over my cheek that started to burn with want at his touch. “And I assure you,” he began, but paused to kiss the corner of my mouth in a way that made my breathing quicken. “Based on my extensive research, sexual intercourse is completely safe during pregnancy.” His hands were roaming under my shirt now, warm and soft as they moved over my skin.

“That’s good to know,” I whispered as he began planting kisses on my neck while he inched my shirt off, tossing it to the floor and then easing me onto the bed. He stood above me, sliding my pants off before undressing himself.

“I’ve also learned that some women even experience a surge in their libido while pregnant,” he said and I couldn’t help but laugh, but then I stopped as I concentrated on the way his body felt on mine. It’d been too long since I’d felt him. His hands moved gently over my body as he kissed me slowly while we got reacquainted.

“Your body is exquisite,” he whispered softly in my ear as his hands continued to move over my skin before he stopped and rested his palm on my stomach.

“Don’t stop,” I whispered, missing the feeling of his wandering hands, moving my hips to encourage him.

“I won’t, Natalie. I’ll never stop.”