The Kryptonite Kid: A Novel (15 page)

But it didn’t happen.

I stayed up REAL late but nobody flew through my window who looked like me. I kept waiting and waiting. And then my dad made me turn out all the lights and I still kept waiting. And waiting. And then I fell asleep even though I didn’t want to. I couldn’t help it because I was real tired from climbing allover the Duck Rock. And that’s when it happened, Superman.

I had this dream.

I dreamed I was flying through the air and I was flying real fast and I broke through the Time Barrier. Only I wasn’t flying backwords into the past. I was flying forword, into the future.

Like you do sometimes.

And you’ll never guess where I landed? I landed right where I 
am write now! Right on top of my dad's apartment building! And it was late at night. Real late. But my light was still on so I looked in the window and you'll never guess who I saw?

It was me, Superman.

Only I was a LOT bigger. And I was writing a letter to you, just like this one. Lots of short sentences. Lots of short paragraphs. Only I wasn't writing it because I was typing it. And I don't even have a typewriter but that's what I was doing.

I watched for a long time.

I looked through the window and I looked at myself and I knew it was me. I KNEW it! Except I was bigger, like I told you. And I was crying. Tears kept falling allover my typewriter. The one I don't have yet. And each tear was a different color. Red and blue and yellow. And gold. And green, like Kryptonite. They fell everywhere. Rivers of rainbows flooding the room, getting higher and deeper, attacking me, drowning me—killing me!

It was AWFUL, Superman! I thought FOR SURE I was gonna die! I kept trying to make it to the window, to pull it open and save myself. But I couldn't. Somebody was stopping me. Somebody was outside holding it shut. And that's when it happened, Superman.

I woke up.

Everybody else was asleep. Even Buster. I wished Robert was there so I could tell him about that dream, but he wasn’t. He’d been gone a long time. I was all alone. It was the middle of the night. I was still crying. Still writing. Still waiting for someone who looks like me to fly through the window and dry my tears and pick me up and fly away. Will it ever happen, Superman?

Will it ever happen?

just,

Jerry

I’ll tell you, SUPERMAN,

It sure is hard to figure this all out. But me and Robert hardly ever give up and that’s why we’re still trying. So we’ve been thinking about how Ma and Pa Kent died a long time ago and you felt real bad and cryed and everything. So maybe that’s why you don’t want to fly back through the Time Barrier and ask them about Saint Clark. Because you’d know they’re already dead only they wouldn’t know it and so you’d have to feel bad all alone.

Except Robert said if you kept flying back into the past then you could be with them ALL the time, Superman. Which means they would NEVER be dead.

And since everybody used to be alive sometime, then you could visit anybody anytime. Not just Ma and Pa Kent, but Abraham Lincoln or Adam and Eve or ANYBODY. And so actually nobody must ever be dead. It’s just a matter of getting to them at the right time. Which means all you have to be is Super. Or else you have to be God.

Which might be the same thing anyway.

Your PALS,

JERRY and ROBERT

You see, SUPERMAN,

On page 13 of Robert’s Catechism it says that GOD IS EVERYWHERE. And on page 14 it says that GOD CAN SEE EVERYTHING. And on page 15 it says that GOD ALWAYS WAS AND HE ALWAYS WILL BE AND HE ALWAYS REMAINS THE SAME. And every time Sister 
Mary Justin talks about God it sure sounds like she’s talking about you, Superman.

Especially since you can be a man or a boy or a nothing, depending on which time you do it. Which means you can be EVERYWHERE and EVERYWHEN all at the same time. Just like God the Father.

Which is what Robert said a LONG time ago when we first started thinking about it. So now we’re thinking about it again because of what Sister Mary Justin keeps saying. And she knows a lot about God just like we know a lot about you, Superman. Except we don’t know if you’re God or not. So why don’t you tell us like you didn’t before?

Thank you very much.

ROBERT and JERRY

DEAR MAN OF STEEL,

I figure when I get SUPER then I’ll be able to do what you do. Which means that I can be everywhen all at once too. Which means I might also be God if you’re God. Except Sister Mary Justin said there’s only ONE God so maybe I might be The Baby Jesus. Because he’s also God even if there’s only one God. Which I don’t really understand yet but there’s LOTS of things I don’t understand yet.

But if I get Super like you then FOR SURE I’ll be able to fly into the past and be The Baby Jesus. Which means I might of done it already. Which means I might be The Baby Jesus right now only I don’t know it yet. And I’d sure like to be the Son of God if you’re God, Superman. But if you’re not then I don’t want to be either. And if I REALLY am The 
Baby Jesus, then do you think my mom is The Virgin Mary?

Your friends,

JERRY AND ROBERT again

DEAR SUPER-FRIEND,

The other day my mom found my latest SUPERBOY NO. 191 which was hid in my notebook. And I thought she was gonna get mad because I was reading about Superman again. But she didn’t. She got mad because I bought it at Bacchio’s News Stand. Which is what I told her when she said WHERE DID YOU GET THIS? And then she said DON’T YOU DARE BUY A COMICBOOK THERE EVER AGAIN! And she was really yelling. And I said CAN I BUY SOME BUBBLEGUM? And she said I could never buy NOTHING there ever again as long as I live. And I said WHAT IF I DIDN’T BUY NOTHING? WHAT IF I JUST TALKED TO MRS. BACCHIO? And that’s when she REALLY got mad, Superman. And she told me how Mrs. Bacchio was a EVIL WOMAN and how she’s LIVING IN SIN and how I should NEVER talk to her ever again.

And I said BUT I LIKE MRS. BACCHIO A HOLE LOT!

And she said YOU BETTER LISTEN TO ME YOUNG MAN!

And I said WHY?

And she said BECAUSE I SAID SO!

And I said WHAT IF I DON’T? and so she hit me. And she said that’s just a SAMPLE of what I’m gonna get if she ever catches me in Bacchio’s ever again. And then she 
called Elizabeth Sipanno on the telephone. And so now Robert isn’t allowed in Bacchio’s either. And Robert asked his mom WHY? and she said BECAUSE PEOPLE MIGHT TALK.

And he said ABOUT WHAT? and she said YOU’RE TOO YOUNG TO UNDERSTAND.

And he said IT ISN’T FAIR! and she said DO AS YOU’RE TOLD!

So now we’re gonna have to go to Starita’s. Which is a drugstore. Which is the only other place that sells comicbooks. Which we don’t like very much because Mr. Starita keeps yelling at us and telling us to hurry up and how he don’t like kids hanging around his store all the time. Which is why you GOTTA do something, Superman. Because Mrs. Bacchio is the only groan up we REALLY like but she’s the only groan up the other groan ups really hate. Because we don’t know why yet.

ROBERT and JERRY CHARIOT

Dear Superman,

You know what I don’t think? I don’t think my mom’s The Virgin Mary. Because a Virgin is a woman who finds out she’s gonna have a baby before she gets merried. And the way she finds out is that a angel tells her while she’s down on her knees praying. That’s what me and Robert Sipanno think. But we’re not too sure because Bruno who is Robert’s big brother wouldn’t tell us. He said we’re too little to find out about Virgins. Just like we’re too little to find out about queers and Mrs. Bacchio and stuff like that. And then the angel tells her that she’s supposed to go out 
and find a husband like Saint Joseph. Because women aren’t allowed to have babys all by themselves. Because we don’t know why. Not exactly. But we think it’s because babys are supposed to have fathers to hit them. And so if a woman has a baby who don’t have a father then everybody talks about her.

Especially Veronica nextdoor.

And you know what I don’t think, Superman? I don’t think the sin is having the baby. I think the sin is not having the father. Or not having a angel to tell you who the father is gonna be. Or something like that. And so I decided to ask my mom about babys and who makes them and allthat. And I didn’t even care that Veronica was still there. And my mom said that God does. Which is what Sister Mary Justin said. So I said WELL, DOES GOD PUT THEM IN YOUR STOMICK?