The Married Man Sex Life Primer 2011 (16 page)

BOOK: The Married Man Sex Life Primer 2011
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Eat Better
– Having a balanced diet with fruits and vegetables has a positive effect on testosterone production. Plus the proteins in eggs and whey allow the adrenal glands to keep testosterone levels even.

 

Decrease Body Fat
– Fat contains an enzyme that actually converts testosterone to estrogen. Obviously men do need some amount of estrogen, but getting obese is going to cause a shift in the balance of power from testosterone to estrogen. Perhaps you’d like a purse to go with your spare tire.

 

Eat Meat
– Don’t go vegetarian, that’s really for chicks. Meat helps increase testosterone levels and so can nuts as well. Have some peanut butter. Be careful though, since there is also evidence that going to a high-protein low carb diet will actually hurt testosterone production. Balanced diet, hear me?
Balanced diet.

 

Lift Weights
– Do exercise and lift weights. Don’t work yourself into complete exhaustion and over-train, just keep up a steady level of exercise and your testosterone levels will increase. Weight training is particularly good for testosterone levels.

 

Limit Alcohol Intake
– When your body is working overtime to get the alcohol out of your system, it isn’t working to create testosterone. Three drinks will basically shut production of testosterone off until the alcohol is cleared.

 

Sleep Better
– Well duh. Everything goes better with sleep.

 

Get Sexually Turned On
– Get hard! Being turned on and physically erect leads to increases in overall testosterone levels. No reason why a little porn can’t be helpful. (I generally advise cumming inside your wife as much as possible though. It actually delivers testosterone to her that gets absorbed through the vaginal walls and makes her sex drive increase!)

 

Omega-3 Fatty Acids
– Seriously, try this. It costs about $10 for a three month supply of Fish Oil from any supermarket. What do you have to lose?

 

Engage In Competition
– Do something competitive once in a while. You increase testosterone from this, especially if you win!

 

Dominate Someone
- Just like winning a competitive game can increase your testosterone, taking a leadership position in social situations can increase testosterone levels. Perhaps a playful spanking of your wife…
(7.6) Weight Training is Key

 

It’s very difficult to overestimate how important weight training is with sparking female sexual interest. Because social dominance is sparked by physical ability, and more correctly, combat ability, having muscle mass is basically a good thing.

 

Given a choice between either a man with excellent cardio ability like a runner or a man with excellent muscle mass like a boxer, most women tend toward the one with muscle mass. From a female point of view, there’s no point having a male protector whose best ability is to run from combat, when a male that can actually win combat is available. Women tend to choose the men that specialize in the “fight” response rather than the “flight” one.
Women have long been known to get excited over “a man in uniform.” The uniform really isn’t the issue, it’s more the fact that the man in the uniform is willing to put up a fight and not be combat avoidant.
(7.7) Martial Arts

 

If you have the time to spend learning a martial art, then that can also be a profound influence on female attraction. The combination of physical conditioning plus actual combat skills creates a true sense of personal confidence that women very much respond to. Unfortunately, the time spent training in this way can be fairly sizable so this is not always a reasonable option for married men to start up. Again – balance is everything.
(7.8) Male Enhancement Products

 

They don’t work. Save your money. Your dick is your dick.
(7.9) Health and Semen Production

 

As I keep repeating, physical exercise is key to an awful lot of male sexuality. Along with that is diet, both to support the exercise and keep you growing and uninjured, but also to support the manufacture of sperm and semen. We men really do get fixated on the size of our penis, but the reality is that semen is more important. It’s like how the gun doesn’t kill you; it's the bullet that you really worry about. A man may well be a life support system for a penis, but then the penis is just a hose for semen to shoot from.

 

I'm sure you've all seen bazillion ads for male enhancement "MegaSurge3000" or whatever the names are of the latest cum creation product. They all promise to make you shoot cum like a horse getting a prostate massage. I can't promise any of that beyond getting generally a bit better ejaculations and better health, but I can say what I'm going to show you next is what I really use. It does in fact make me feel better and more virile. Plus it's all pretty easy stuff to have and cost effective.

 

Control What You Drink
- Get the hell off soda. Soda is liquid Satan. I'm not going to harp on about it, because we both know you already know this. Food coloring + High Fructose Corn Syrup = diabetes on a layaway plan. The problem is replacing it and not just folding and going back to soda. Likewise, alcohol needs to be in moderation. I’ve got no issue with a few drinks a week, but obviously you know that you can't down a few drinks a day and not get hurt by it eventually.

 

My solution is simple. Crushed ice and juice cut 50/50 with seltzer water. It's fizzy like soda, it's still sweet enough, and overall decent juice is vastly better than soda. Seltzer is also very cheap and it makes the juice go a lot further. Try it.

 

Basic Supplementation
- I’m 40 and the joints creak a bit these days. I find a joint complex that has Glucosamine, Chondroitin and MSM is the best for me. Without taking it I tend to hurt in the knees in particular and then I have to stop exercising, which blows.

 

Multivitamin. Look for one that says "Men". Importantly don't take them on an empty stomach as it can more easily cause you to feel nauseous that way.

 

Omega-3 Oil Supplement. This helps with testosterone as I said before, but I also find that without Omega-3 supplementation I get depressed, especially in winter. Plus it helps for joints and heart.

 

Protein Supplementation
- I use a Whey Protein supplement mixed with milk. (I’ve always been confused as to why it’s okay to drink milk from the female of another species, but it’s not okay to ask for a drink from a female of your own species.) You don't need to find something with a muscle bound hulk on the front of it unless you want to pay 30% more for the privilege. I use a Whey Protein from my local grocery store for $10 a can and it lasts me about two weeks. Great for a quick breakfast or post workout snack. My only advice is to look around for something similar and make sure you get a decent list of amino acids on the back label. That's what is going to make muscle growth and repair more effective. I don’t advise buying soy based supplements unless you are female, as it can spur female hormone production and is likely the opposite of what you want here. Soy is not for boys.

 

The purpose of the protein supplementation plus multivitamin and generally keeping your fluids up is all to support your body getting all the building blocks it needs to produce sperm and semen. If you have any kind of nutritional shortage of what semen is made from, obviously your semen production is going to be limited somehow. So while I offer no magic pill that makes you squirt gallons, you very likely will experience an increase in semen production if you take in a healthy diet.

 

Having a large volume of ejaculate is a very positive signal of sexual health and fitness. I’m sure even as a man, watching a porn video where the male does a tiny little trickle of cum at the end is disappointing. Having a large volume of semen is going to make you feel more sexually confident and make your own sexual pleasure more intense when you orgasm. For the women, a large volume ejaculate is a great sign that you are a good partner to have sex with.
(7.10) Are You Poisoning Your Wife Against You with Bad Semen?

 

I just talked about the quantity of the semen, but now let’s move on to semen quality. Before a woman opens her legs for a man, her Body Agenda is hard at work determining whether or not she should do that. You might get in once, but having crappy semen is really going to cut down on repeat visits. And trust me, if you’re pumping pond scum semen into her vagina, her Body Agenda will know and shut down against you. If you are in bad physical shape and eat and drink crap, you can kill your own sex life dead by poisoning her against you.

 

The easy way to know if something is good for a man's basic health is to simply have a peek at whether or not it is going to be good for his sex drive and semen/sperm production. One very obvious "duh" is smoking. If you smoke you know you need to quit smoking because of lung issues, but smoking also impairs sperm count, sperm motility, reduces sperm lifespan, and may cause genetic changes that affect the baby. Some studies also find that men who smoke have lower sex drives and less frequent sex.

 

Marijuana use can result in significantly less seminal fluid, a lower total sperm count and abnormally-behaving sperm. Also in terms of flavor, much has been written about pineapple juice making semen taste better. Caffeine and nicotine will make it taste much worse as well; they are…
poisons.

 

The entire purpose of sex for women is to get semen into their vaginas. It is not a very large leap of understanding that men should focus on creating good quality semen. I don’t believe any research study is possible on female reaction to unhealthy or healthy semen deposited in the vagina (seriously who would sign up for that as a test subject?), but a woman’s sense of smell is acute enough to pick out genetically compatible mates. Vaginas are exceptionally good at receiving medication as well. So all in all, vaginas are a highly sensitive instrument and they very likely make assessments of male semen that we as yet can hardly fathom.

 

(7.11) SSRI Medications Can Kill Off Sex

 

One of the most important things in having a wonderful sex life with your wife is having a functional penis. It’s important that blood can flow in, it can get hard, it can stay up, you can come to orgasm, and you can squirt a good amount of semen into her. It’s also important that you have some amount of sexual desire, in that it’s fairly normal that your first reaction on meeting an attractive woman is
“I’d like to tap that."
Ideally you should also be experiencing that
“I’d like to tap that”
reaction with your wife quite frequently. This is a normal response and nothing more than a display of positive male health.

 

As a man, there is a real sense that your entire body is a life support system for your penis. From a biological point of view, that’s your prime directive; whip it out, plug it in and make more little humans. Plus it’s fun. So your penis is like the canary in the coal mines. If it stops working or starts failing for any reason, you find out why, and stop doing whatever is causing it…
immediately.
If you want to loosely summarize my approach to male health, the rule is:
If it’s good for your penis and semen, it’s probably good for you as a whole.

 

One thing that can clearly interfere with sexual functioning is SSRI anti-depressants. SSRIs have well known common and potentially severe sexual side effects and coming from the belief that “it’s not a bug it’s a feature,” many of them are also now used to treat premature ejaculation. Essentially Mr. Trigger Happy goes on an SSRI, and becomes less trigger happy because the SSRI nerfs his desire, excitement and sexual sensation. Because the drugs can be
intended
to reduce sexual excitement, you should have a reasonable expectation that you will experience some diminished sexual ability. Some people they are effectively neutered by the SSRIs.

 

For more people the sexual side effects of these drugs are short term, but some unknown percentage of patients will develop Persistent SSRI Sexual Dysfunction (PSSD) and the sexual side effects can continue on six or more months
even after the drug is discontinued
. Does sexual function return sometime after that six month mark? I've got no clue, no one seems to have even asked the question, or done a study on it.

 

In writing this book I have had several friends reveal to me that their own marriages have been all but ended over the non-existent sex life and in some cases, childlessness resulting from SSRI induced sexual dysfunction. Considering how easy it can be to get a SSRI script, I can only imagine the agony of being scammed out of an active sex life forever over these meds if they were not truly needed.

 

These medications can also affect more than the sexual drive. Emotional changes can occur as well. From Dr. Helen Fisher’s website…

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