The Natural: How to Effortlessly Attract the Women You Want (32 page)

The way you deal with this is by making statements that put the potential objection out there right away, before she thinks of it later. Consider these options:

“I know we’re drunk, but I can tell that we’ll get along great. It’ll be excellent to meet up somewhere more quiet and really get to know each other.”

“I didn’t expect to meet a great girl in a nightclub. We might go home and think that we had an amazing connection just because of the flashy environment. That might be the case, of course—but I’d love to find out by getting to know you better in a more chilled-out location.”

By preempting her objections, you help her remain focused on meeting you again and not on the potential problems. This is especially important if you escalated kino pretty hard. In that case you’ll also have to deal with, “Maybe he’s a player,” and, “If we meet again, he’ll be all over me right away.” You can use the same method to deal with these issues too.

The kiss closing is a sticking point for lots of guys. Going for the kiss is another point where you’re putting yourself out there to get rejected. The way to remove the pressure from this moment is to work up to it smoothly with a variety of escalation techniques, and by using tests to see if the girl is ready. Think back to “the three characters of a seduction” that we talked about in chapter 3: Mr. Sociable, Mr. Comfort, and Mr. Seducer. If you’re not in the seductive character mode at the time of the kiss, she might not feel in the mood.

Here are some techniques to help make the kiss a smooth move she’ll go for every time:

1. Touch her in increasingly more sensual ways leading up to the kiss:

  Touch her arm for emphasis when you’re talking.

  Touch her hand. As noted earlier, looking at jewelry is a good excuse.

  Touch her hair. Asking if it’s her natural color/if she ever wears it up/has ever cut it short/used to have it long/or even when she washed it is a good excuse. If she’s comfortable with your touching her hair and doesn’t pull back at all, then she’s kissable. You can go for it here.

  Smell her hair. Oddly enough, that’s a turn-on for girls.

  Take her hand and hold it as you talk. If you’ve done some of the above, hand-holding will be acceptable at this point. Don’t look at her hand or draw attention to it; just do it!

  Squeeze her hand and see if she squeezes back; this is another kissability indicator. No girl ever squeezes back if she isn’t ready to kiss.

  Stop talking, pause, tilt your head, and look at her. See if she’s comfortable with this attention. If she is, you can kiss.

  What if she turns her face when you try to kiss? Kiss her cheek and then her neck! Chances are she’ll turn around and kiss you. Turning a bit isn’t a rejection, but most guys assume it to be and back away. Try this alternative kissing and you can turn her on even more. It’s only a rejection if she recoils—backs off and away.

So now you know how to touch her, but your moves won’t be 100 percent smooth if you’re still in the same character as when talking to your hairdresser—i.e., acting like a friend instead of a lover. It’s time for Mr. Seducer.

2. Establish a sexual vibe as you escalate the physical contact. You do this by:

  Using more intense eye contact.

  Switching to a slower, smoother, deeper voice.

  Looking at her in a sexual way, looking at her lips as well as her eyes. If she reciprocates, she’s imagining kissing you.