The Natural: How to Effortlessly Attract the Women You Want (35 page)

Day game and night game are different, and you’ll probably prefer one or the other. There are benefits and drawbacks to each. Day game takes you outside of bars and clubs and into streets, shops, the gym, public transportation, etc. Day game allows you to approach girls who are on their own (as they probably won’t be at night!) and who aren’t used to getting hit on—at least, not in these daytime situations. That means they won’t be armed with what I rather callously, but honestly, call “bitchshields.”

In other words: you’ll be getting the real person.

Most people, both men and women, have a persona that they adopt in a club or a bar. Because with day game you’re both sober, on your own, and being yourselves, any contact number you get in the daytime is usually pretty solid. Girls often flake on club number closes because either they were drunk when they gave the number or they don’t like the idea of meeting a guy in a bar. Daytime approaches are the opposite: they’re actually romantic, and a woman feels better telling her friends that she’s meeting “the guy who chatted me up in the post office” than telling them about “the guy I met in a bar on Friday night.” There are also lots of attractive girls who avoid going out at night because they don’t like nasty men groping them, don’t like loud music, or just prefer to do other things. If you want to meet a nice girlfriend who won’t cheat on you and isn’t a party girl who likes getting drunk, day game is the way to go.

The problem with day game is that the girls you approach will be more difficult to hook. Girls in the daytime are doing something; they’re on their way somewhere, waiting for someone, buying something, or doing their workout. In the evening you can open any group standing around in a bar, and holding them for a minute or two shouldn’t be too much of a problem. On the other hand, a girl walking in the street at midday will stop for you only if you’ve got a very good reason (asking if you should dye your hair—that old bar standby—generally won’t cut it!), and it will take a lot for you to distract her from whatever she’s doing.

Day game is a more advanced skill because it works best when you can use something spontaneous and situational to start the conversation. Canned material, opinion openers, routines, and magic tricks seem a little weird in the day. In other words, day game is really more about your natural conversational skills and personality. One of its biggest drawbacks is that it’s difficult to kino-escalate. A one-minute kiss close in the daytime is an advanced-level skill.

When you start day game, expect it to be tougher to get a good response immediately after your opener. Remember, these women are on their lunch break; they’re catching a train; they’re shopping. It’s not like in a bar, where at most they’re having a conversation with friends. It’s not a sociable environment; they’re not hoping or expecting to get picked up.

So don’t expect to be greeted with a happy, smiling face when you open your mouth. You might very well have to work for a few minutes to warm things up and get a woman to commit to the interaction. It doesn’t mean that she’s rude. You’d probably do the same thing if you were in her shoes. On a girl standing still, it’s fine to use an opinion opener—it’s easier to hook, and harder for her to completely ignore you. But if you’re stopping a moving woman, it’s tough because she’s already engaged in something other than you.

In fact, stopping a woman already engaged in motion is the hardest day-game skill of all to pull off. If you find yourself in this situation—if you see a woman whose looks call out to you as she strides along—you need to communicate your intent when she’s about ten to twelve feet away. You can do this in various ways:

  Make eye contact with her.

  Make a curious face, as if you’re going to ask her something.

  Lift the palm of your hand toward her, slightly above waist height, to subtly show her a “stop” sign.

If you wait until she’s within two or three feet to do any of these things, she won’t stop because her guard will be up. You need to deliver your opener when she’s farther away, to give her time to stop before she passes you.

Further tips:

  You definitely need a pre-opener. Use “Hey” or something similar, and not “Excuse me,” because you don’t want her to think you want something from her (as a street beggar would).

  Don’t go too quickly into your opener. If possible, get her to
stop walking
as you say, “Hey… I need to ask you a quick question.” If you segue quickly into your opener, it’s more likely she’ll keep walking as she listens and then just throw you a quick answer over her shoulder.

Your goal during day game is to fill the first minute with statement-based elaboration on the opener or a similar subject, and then make the interaction increasingly more personal.

Staying on the opening subject for too long after this will make the interaction go stale, and it will get harder and harder to keep things interesting and to make a transition. As soon as you’ve got her committed to the interaction, get off the opening subject.

Day-Game Progression

Once she’s invested in the interaction, it’s time to take it personal. This can be done by introducing yourself, asking what she’s up to, and using other questions to elicit information about her. This part of the conversation should still be structured correctly (as described in the discussion of night game), so that there’s an attempt to connect rather than simply asking question after question.

The next task is to go for the number close. The way you do this is to connect with her about an activity. Some examples:

You:
Do you like dancing?

Her:
Yes.

You:
Have you tried salsa?

Her:
No. I want to, though.

You:
Oh, well—I go to this great salsa class on Wednesdays. You should come!

Her:
Yeah, sounds good.

You:
Okay, give me your number and I’ll text you the details.

Or…

You:
What do you like doing when you aren’t working?

Her:
Mmm…visiting art galleries and stuff like that.

You:
Cool. Have you been to the new Michelangelo exhibition at the museum?

Her:
Not yet, but I’ve been meaning to go.

You:
Well, I was going to check it out sometime soon too; let’s go together.

Her:
All right. Great.

You:
I could do Tuesday or Friday afternoon—is either one any good for you?