The Natural: How to Effortlessly Attract the Women You Want (38 page)

  If she asks a question (like “How’s it going?”) to which you can give only a boring response—don’t answer it.

  If she asks multiple questions, don’t answer them all.

  The best time to send a text message is when you’re busy or on your way somewhere. It shouldn’t look like you spent too long thinking about what to say. It should look like you finally got around to it and are answering nonchalantly.

  Don’t use xoxo’s or smiley faces…ever! Even if she does.

  Never send two texts in a row within forty-eight hours without a response.

  If she doesn’t reply, wait at least five days before trying again.

  Don’t try to arrange the date on the first text; this is usually instant death!

Finally, for examples of actual text messages that you can send, go to www.puatraining.com/textgame.

Some guys prefer getting on the phone. My friend and longtime wingman Anthony P. is one of those. But it’s a lot tougher to talk to someone when you aren’t face-to-face, so when you get her number, it needs to be as solid as possible.

If you call after a number close and she answers enthusiastically—it’s
on
. With a couple of minutes’ chat, you can probably set up a date pretty easily. If you call and she’s a bit cold or noncommittal—“Who? Oh yeah… I remember … umm…hi”—try to be as interesting as possible. Tell a story, talk about cool things that are happening, and then end the call before she does. In this circumstance, do
not
try to arrange a date. Leave it a few days and call again. Keep doing this until you call and she seems genuinely receptive. She’ll wonder why you haven’t asked her out, so just keep building her interest; then you know she’ll say yes when you finally ask.

Here’s how you should structure your phone game. Once you’ve finished up the greeting and you sense that she’s receptive, try a few of the following:

  Reestablish initial connection—use call-back humor, making her laugh again at the same things as during your interaction, or show her that you remember things she told you.
(How was the trip to the zoo with your nephew?)

  Get her into a positive state and ensure that she feels comfortable. A first phone call after a nighttime number close will
not
feel immediately comfortable; it will take some effort on your part.

  Get a sense of her plans for the next week.

  Suggest something you can do together.

  Arrange the logistics and settle the date.