The No-Cry Separation Anxiety Solution: Gentle Ways to Make Good-bye Easy from Six Months to Six Years (28 page)

Experience, lack of, separation anxiety

61–
62

and,
15

Military duty, tips for handling
, 120
–23

Morning good-bye
s, 96–
100

Fay, Jim
, 108

Morning routines, establishing
, 2

Fear, separation anxiety and
, 15–
16

Fight-or-fl ight reaction
, 2–
3

New babies, tips for handling arrival

Fiore, Lisa B.
, 61, 6
5

of, and sibling
s, 103
–5.
See also
First grade, tips for sending child to,

Babies

100–
103

New people
, 71

Forehand, Rex
, 124

introducing babies and toddlers to,

Frustrations, avoiding showing
, 70–
71

35–
37

introducing preschool and school-age

Games

children to
, 54

playing bye-by
e, 1

No-cry process, for peaceful problem

playing door
, 83

solving,
19–
20

playing peek-a-boo with object
s, 22

No-cry solutions

playing peek-a-boo with people
, 23

for babies and toddlers
, 21

playing separation
, 52

allowing separations that

playing What-If
, 66–
67

the child initiate
s, 32–
33

Good-byes, morning,
96–
100

avoiding excess separation,

38–
39

Hobey, Paige,
93

avoiding in-arms transfers,

Homeostatic sleep pressu
re, 62

24–
25

Honesty, separation anxiety and,
79

avoiding prolonged partings,

28

“If You Give” book
s, 67

avoiding rushed parting
s, 28

In-arms transfers, avoiding
, 24–
25, 8
9

avoiding sneaking away,
28

Independent play, encouraging
, 75

babying,
25

creating baby steps of

Kindergarten, tips for sending child to,

autonomy
, 55–
56

100–
103

cueing caregiver’s response,

Kissing Hand, The
(Penn)
, 99

31

encouraging relationships

Leach, Penelope
, 26

with transitional objects,

Lifestyle changes, separation anxiety

33–
34

and,
15

express cheerful, positive

Long, Nichola
s, 124

attitude when leaving
, 29

Love, separation anxiety and,
1

having child well-rested and

Loveys, encouraging relationships with,

well-fed
, 37–
38

33–
34,
109

having dress rehearsals,

Lucky charms, giving
, 56

55–
56

having practice sessions,

Magic Bracelet
, 41–
43, 1
24

30–
31

fi nding bracelet to use as
, 43–
44

introducing new people,

introducing child to
, 45–
46

35–
37

magic words for,
47–
48

introducing people gently,

put-away routine for,
48–
49

34–
35

Index

149

inviting distraction
s, 31–
32

maintaining child’s sleep

minimizing separations,

and eating schedules,

26–2
7

61–
62

monitoring responses of

playing separation games,
52

parents,
39

playing What-If game,

permitting “alone time,”
27

66–
67

playing bye-bye ga
me, 23

providing chill time
s, 63

playing peek-a-boo with

reading children’s books

object
s, 22

about similar situations,

playing peek-a-boo with

59

people,
23

recognizing it’s not a now-

practicing separations,
24

or-never choic
e, 69

telling babies and toddlers

relaxation and coping

what to expe
ct, 27–
28

techniques
, 73–
75

for preschool and school-age

sending funny face
s, 59

children
, 51

talking to teachers or

acknowledging child’s

caregivers,
70

feeling
s, 59–
61

telling stories that teach
, 55

allowing child to bring

using prayer to help child

along something,
70

cope
, 68–
69

allowing child to leave

visiting in advanc
e, 57

you,
70

watching out for red fl ags,

allowing warm-up periods,

78–7
9

54

Now-or-never choices, avoiding,
69

arranging playdates with

Numeroff, Laura Joff
e, 67

friend
s, 64

avoiding planting worry

Packer, Leslie E.
, 77

seeds,
58

Paper Hug, A
(Skolomoski)
, 123

avoiding showing

Parenting, being observant and

annoyance, frustration,

fl exib
le, 79

or worry,
70–
71

Parents

creating baby steps of

monitoring responses of
, 1

autonomy
, 55–
56

personal separation anxiety stories

downplaying one’s return,

of,
131–
35

77

tips for, who can’t leave rooms,

encouraging independent

82–
86

play,
75

tips for, who feel separation anxiety,

encouraging positive

137–
41

thought
s, 64–
66

Parties

giving calming trinkets,
56

attending, children and
, 112–
14

giving choices,
68

tips for attending
, 114–
17

giving photos of parent
s, 59

Partings.
See also
Separations

giving promises to return,

avoiding prolonged,
28

53

avoiding rushed
, 28

having relaxed morning

playmate,
128–
29

routine
s, 64

Peek-a-boo games

having reunion routines
, 58

with objects,
22

having specifi c parting

with people
, 23

routine
s, 57–
58

Penn, Audrey
, 99

informing child what to

Pets, beds
ide, 109

expe
ct, 52–
53

Playdates, attending, children and,

introducing new people

112–
14

gradually,
54

Playmate parting
s, 128–
29

150

Index

Positive thoughts, encouraging
, 64–
66

Problem solving, no-cry process for
, 19

Prayer, for helping children cope,

Put-away routine, for Magic Bracelet,

68–
69

48–
49

Preschool children, no-cry solutions

for,
51

Quiet Bunny
, 73–
74

acknowledging child’s feelings,

59–
61

Red fl ags, watching out for
, 78–
79

allowing child to bring along

Relaxation and coping techniques,

something,
70

73–7
5

allowing child to leave you
, 70

Remarrying, tips for handling
, 123–
26

allowing warm-up period
s, 54

Return/reunion routines, establishing,

arranging playdates with friend
s, 64

57–
58

avoiding planting worry seed
s, 58

Room, tips for when parent can’t leave,

avoiding showing annoyance,

82–
86

frustration, or worry
, 70–
71

Routines, having specifi
c, 94–9
5

creating baby steps of autonomy,

55–
56

SAD.
See
Separation anxiety disorder

downplaying one’s return
, 77

(SAD)

encouraging independent play
, 75

Schaefer, Charles E.
, 107

encouraging positive thoughts,

School-age children, no-cry solutions

64–
66

for,
51

giving calming trinket to
, 56

acknowledging child’s feelings,

giving choices,
68

59–
61

giving photos of parent
s, 59

allowing child to bring along

giving promises to return
, 53

something,
70

having dress rehearsal
s, 55–
56

allowing child to leave you
, 70

having relaxed morning routines,

allowing warm-up period
s, 54

64

arranging playdates with friend
s, 64

having reunion routines
, 58

avoiding planting worry seed
s, 58

having specifi c parting routines,

avoiding showing annoyance,

57–
58

frustration, or worry
, 70–
71

informing child what to expect,

creating baby steps of autonomy,

52–
53

55–
56

introducing new people gradually,

downplaying one’s return
, 77

54

encouraging independent play
, 75

maintaining child’s sleep and eating

encouraging positive thoughts,

schedules,
61–
62

64–
66

playing separation game
s, 52

giving calming trinket to
, 56

playing What-If ga
me, 66–
67

giving choices,
68

providing chill time
s, 63

giving photos of parent
s, 59

reading children’s books about

giving promises to return
, 53

similar situations
, 59

having dress rehearsal
s, 55–
56

recognizing it’s not a now-or-never

having relaxed morning routines
, 64

choic
e, 69

having reunion routines
, 58

relaxation and coping techniques,

having specifi c parting routines,

73–7
5

57–
58

sending funny face
s, 59

informing child what to expect,

talking to teachers or caregiver
s, 70

52–
53

telling stories that teach
, 55

introducing new people gradually,

using prayer to help child cope,

54

68–
69

maintaining child’s sleep and eating

visiting in advanc
e, 57

schedules,
61–
62

watching out for red fl ag
s, 78–
79

playing separation game
s, 52

Index

151

playing What-If ga
me, 66–
67

Separations.
See also
Partings

providing chill time
s, 63

avoiding excess
, 38–
39

reading children’s books about

determining timing for,
14

similar situations
, 59

dress rehearsals for,
55–
56

recognizing it’s not a now-or-never

lack of experience and,
15

choic
e, 69

Magic Bracelet for
, 41–
50

relaxation and coping techniques,

minimizing,
26–
27

73–7
5

practice sessions for
, 30–
31

sending funny face
s, 59

practicing, for babies and toddlers,

talking to teachers or caregiver
s, 70

24

telling stories that teach
, 55

refl ecting on previous successful
, 72

using prayer to help child cope,

Shyness, separation anxiety and,
15

68–
69

Siblings

visiting in advanc
e, 57

diffi culty handling arrival of a new

watching out for red fl ag
s, 78–
79

baby
, 103–
5

Security blankets, encouraging

when older siblings go off to school,

relationships with
, 33–3
4

128
–29

Separation anxiety

Sick days, children and
, 103

bedtim
e, 63, 1
05
–12