The NSC Boxset: Heart of Stone (152 page)

I heard his heavy swallow and I patted his cheek. “See you soon,” I laughed as I walked away and approached Sam.

“You know somewhere for him?” Sam’s eyes didn’t leave Dane’s as he nodded his acknowledgement. “Will you be able to hold him until I’m ready?” I asked, knowing that I would need Mason by my side for what I was about to do.

He smiled slyly and nodded again, “Does that mean me and Greg can spend a while with him?”

I smirked. “Be my guest but he’s mine, you understand me Sam?”

Both Greg and Sam turned their eyes to me. “Abso-Fucking-lutely,” they said together simultaneously and for the first time all day I genuinely laughed.

CHAPTER 31

I SAT IN the chair in the corner of the room and watched Mason slowly wake. His hair had that just fucked look and the sheet had fallen around his hips giving me a glorious view of his hard chest and stomach. He still took my breath away when I saw him, even after being together for nearly two years. He still made my arousal surge with a simple twitch of his lips or the way he would look at me like he wanted to devour me and I knew he felt exactly the same when I looked at him. But my heart also swelled at his sense of humour, his carefree spirit and his compassion or the way he would risk his life for me and his children and the way he would drag me from the depths of my despair when my mood was black and desolate.

It was simple . . . I loved him and I would die for him.

He stirred again and his eyes flicked open as he squinted against the sunlight in the room. He shot upwards when he saw me. “Ava . . .”

I kept my face blank as I regarded him, still unsure how to deal with his latest betrayal but I knew we had bigger things to sort out first.

“We got him,” I stated simply. He frowned and then his eyes widened.

“Dane?” I nodded, still expressionless and he frowned again. “Baby, I . . .”

I held up my hand and stood up. “Take a shower,” I told him and then left the room.

I hugged the warmth of the coffee cup, my cold hands appreciating its medicinal effect on the numbness in my fingers. I was apprehensive of what I had to face, knowing I didn’t have the ability to torture anybody in me, even though Dane had took great delight in bringing me to my knees, painfully and agonisingly.

I kept my gaze on the curdled sludge that had developed in my cup when Mason entered the kitchen and dropped into a chair beside me.

“Ava . . .” he said softly as he shrouded my hand with his.

I pulled it away briskly, “Not now, we need to figure out what’s happening with Dane.” I slid from my chair and went to the window.

“I think we’re more important than Dane right now,” Mason grumbled. I laughed bitterly and spun round, holding him with my icy glare.

“Pity you didn’t realise that last night when you had your tongue down your fuck whores throat,” I spat and shook my head in warning when he stood up, “Not—Now.”

Even I was surprised by the malice in my tone and Mason froze for a second. I was in bitch mode and right now I needed her to take over, I needed her lack of humility and conscience. She would be what got me through the next few hours.

“You ready?” I asked.

He narrowed his eyes on me, studying my eyes and searching their depths for any sign of Ava; but she had been pushed away for the upcoming undertaking. He stalked over to me slowly and cocked his head, his eyes dark and questioning as he leant into me and placed each of his hands on the counter beside me, encasing me in his huge frame as his eyes penetrated mine.

“Where are you?” he asked with narrowed eyes. I wasn’t sure if he was asking the question to me or himself.

I placed my hands on his firm chest and pushed but he didn’t shift. “I said not now, Mason.” He didn’t move, just continued to pin me down with his stare. “Mason, don’t do this. I am so fucking pissed at you at the moment and you are just making it ten times worse.”

He cupped my chin and tilted my head back and I squirmed under his intensity. “You need to be you to do this Ava, otherwise I will take all authority and do it myself,” he stated bluntly. I looked away, knowing I couldn’t do it without my inner bitch; I sucked on my lips and sighed.

“And how many fucking atrocities have you dealt with when you were high and definitely not yourself?” I spat. “One being your fuck whore.”

He hissed through his teeth and his grip tightened on my chin. “That’s it, you’re done. I’ll deal with Dane.” He pushed off the counter and turned around.

“What the fuck Mason?” I spluttered out, my anger flying high and strong as I stomped over to him and grabbed his arm, spinning him round. “Don’t fucking do this to me Mason, I have waited too long to end these damn nightmares. Don’t take that away from me!” I exploded.

He pushed me up against the wall as he shrouded me again. “But that’s just it Ava, being detached from doing this will not end your nightmares because your brain won’t register anything that happens tonight. It will all become a blur that you won’t have any clear recollections of. You need to be open and focussed, otherwise things will go wrong and it will be a waste of fucking time you doing this,” he practically growled at me. I was furious at him.

“Do you know how they caught Dane, Mason? Eh, do you?” I raged. “I came fucking looking for you and the bastard tailed me, chased me through half of fucking London while I was going out of my mind worrying about you. But while I was unfocussed and closed off and full of thoughts of just how much crap you were sticking up your nose, I nailed the bastard! Yes! Mason . . . ME!” I emphasised by poking myself in the chest. “I fucking drove him into Harriet Greaves Lake. So don’t you dare assume what I can and can’t fucking do when my mind is elsewhere!” I pushed him, my fury giving me the strength to move his hard and heavy body.

He was gaping at me, “What?” His tone was dull and stunned and I shook my head in sadness.

“You told me to tell you how I was feeling Mason, you told me to tell you exactly what was on my mind and when I do you can’t handle it and go lose yourself in either drugs, booze or HER! . . . Every fucking time and I have to leave our children in the middle of the night and come looking for you, crippled with worry and frightened to death what I am gonna find you like and I find you with your tongue stuck in her fucking gaping hole . . . every single fucking time!” I declared with both sadness and anger. “Tell me Mason, tell me what the attraction is with her because I’m really struggling to see exactly what it is. Do you love her? ” I asked, bracing myself for his answer, still unsure after nearly two years exactly what he felt for her. “Because if you do, tell me now before you completely crush me and I can walk out of that door and give you all the permission you need!”

He was stood gobsmacked, staring at me. “No, I don’t fucking love her!” he bellowed as he took a step closer to me and grabbed my arms. “How many fucking times Ava? I DO NOT LOVE REBECCA; I LOVE YOU AND ONLY YOU!” His grip was tight and his red furious face was a mere inch from mine.

“Then why do you keep going back to her?” I asked quietly. His eyes flashed with an emotion I couldn’t read but he loosened his grip and dropped his hands by his side.

“Because she’s easy when I need it,” he confessed as he closed his eyes.

I gasped as tears stung my eyes. My hand lifted of its own accord and I had slapped him harshly before I had even realised I’d done it. I shook my head in despair. “Is she another of your addictions, Mason?” I asked spitefully.

“It’s not like that Ava, but she’s always there when I wanna get obliterated or high. She’s the one that . . . that understands what I go through.”

I choked on a sob, the truth he felt to his words sliced my heart in two and I took a step into him. “So where was she when you went through withdrawal Mason? Eh? Was she the one that understood when you raped and pinned her up against a wall and just fucking took it because it was what you needed? Eh?” I slammed a finger into his chest.

“Was she the one that understood and sat for twelve fucking hours talking to you, trying to get you through the sickness and bowel explosions, tell me Mason, where was her understanding then? Eh?” I pushed him this time.

“Where was she when the tremors and sweats racked your fucking body? Was she the one rinsing the fucking towel every ten minutes to keep you cool? Wiping the tears away endlessly whilst you didn’t realise she was sobbing as she did it? Was she the one that held you hour after hour as pain tore through you? Was it her fucking arms and thighs that you bruised and fractured in your death grip against the pain?”

I slammed my fist into his chest. “And was she the one that broke and shattered in there with you? Was she the one that cried herself to sleep with the guilt of your withdrawal, night after night after night? Was she Mason . . . ? TELL ME?” I screamed as I erupted at him and knocked him sideways with my wrath as he squinted against the pain I was unleashing on him. His arms came up to protect his head as I laid into him, fist after fist after fist, my heart and mind finally breaking under the destruction and devastation he laid onto me time and time again.

I was pulled back by two pairs of firm hands gripping my arms. I struggled to free myself but when I realised they weren’t going to relent I spat at him, straight into his face. “In future when you get a fucking craving go and find her, I’m sure she’s more
understanding
than I have ever been! Now do you
understand ME?
”

He turned his head to me and I was inwardly pleased at the bloody split across his nose and the blood that trickled from his eyebrow. I wanted him to hurt; I wanted the pain to tear him in two like it was me. I wanted his whole world to end like mine had when he uttered that one sentence.

“Ava, sweetheart, calm down,” Greg said behind me but I kicked out at Mason.

“Get me away from him before I fucking kill him,” I cried. I saw Mason’s pained and remorseful eyes getting further away as Greg and Sam pulled me from the room whilst I struggled and kicked against them, my devastation and heartbreak vocal now the strangled cries erupted from my throat and I slumped against them.

They dragged me over to the sofa and Greg huddled me up, holding me tightly against his chest as inhumane sounds broke from my lungs and heavy sobs racked my body. I heard him say something to Sam but I had zoned out and curled into a ball on Greg’s lap, folding my arms over my head trying to block out the world and retreat into my own little bubble.

Greg rocked me back and forwards until I felt myself being lifted into another set of familiar arms and I broke down, completely and utterly let my mind and body release the pressure as I screamed and clawed at Nate; Mason’s betrayal and complete disregard for what I had gone through, in the garage with him, putting my heart and soul on the line for him.

Nate’s shushes in my ear got louder as I calmed down and I was aware of his strong hold on me. My mind cleared and I abruptly stopped crying and sat up.

“Enough,” I said simply. He nodded grimly as he scooped me up and carried me into the bedroom, where he gently lay me down and pulling my case from the wardrobe, he packed for me. I sat watching him in detachment and surrealism. I knew now that I could never be with Mason, could never have a straightforward relationship with him. I would always love him but there wasn’t any of my heart left to give him. He had shattered and pulverised every single part of it and there was nothing left to give him.

Nate’s worried glances made me smile softly at him. “I’m okay,” I assured him as I stood and approached him. “There’s something I need to do before we go, are you okay packing George and Katie’s things?” He palmed my cheek and nodded, knowing what I had to do.

“Do you want me to take them back to the cottage and meet you there?” he asked gently and I nodded, smiling softly as I turned away and walked to the door.

“Ava,” Nate choked out behind me and I turned round to him. He stood silent, his eyes deep and anguished but then he just gave me a nod of his head.

“I know,” I whispered.

Taking a deep breath, I descended the stairs and found Greg and Sam in the lounge. “I’m ready.”

They took a breath each and stood up. Greg held his hand out to me as he approached and I placed my hand in his, his fingers curled around mine immediately. “Let’s do this,” he said softly as he kissed my head and as we walked through the entrance hall Mason was stood by the front door waiting.

His eyes found mine and he held them as I got nearer. “I don’t need you there,” I said flatly and frankly. He swallowed heavily but nodded, taking a step to the side and letting us pass.

Greg’s hand squeezed mine as Sam opened the door. “Ava . . .” Mason choked out as I took a step over the doorway.

I turned calmly to look at him. The anguish and sorrow displayed back at me reflected mine but I shook my head at him. “There’s nothing left Mason. There’s nothing left for you to destroy. You’ll always own my heart Mason because you hold the pieces in your clenched fist. Don’t let the dust slip through your fingers,” I told him honestly as I slipped my engagement ring off and placed it delicately on the table.

He sucked on his lips as his eyes glazed over and then he turned to Sam. “Look after her,” he said and then turned and walked up the stairs and into the nursery.

I inhaled sharply then pulled my shoulders back and turned to the men. “Now let’s do this,” I said calmly and pushed Ava back and pulled the inner bitch forwards. I needed her now more than ever but I knew she wouldn’t let me down. I wondered if she would ever let Ava back to the forefront after tonight.

* * *

My lips curled when I took in the sight of an already beaten and broken Dane. The guy’s had already done a good job on him. He was hanging from a chain that swung from a metal beam in the centre of a disused warehouse. The metallic scent of old blood draped the already stale air and I shivered at the thought of how many men Mason and his friends had already tortured there.

“Be strong,” Sam whispered behind me, jolting me back to reality. I knew he sensed my anxiousness, the sweat dripping down the nape of my neck confirmed it to him.