The One Year Love Language Minute Devotional (91 page)

The Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! GALATIANS 5:22-23

THE STORY IS TOLD of a woman who went to a marriage counselor for advice. "I want to divorce my husband;' she said, "and I want to hurt him as much as I can."

"In that case;' the counselor advised, "start showering him with compliments. When you have become indispensable to him-when he thinks you love him devotedly-then start the divorce action. That's the way to hurt him most."

Some months later, the wife returned to report that she had followed the counselor's advice.

"Good;'said the counselor. "Now's the time to file for divorce."

"Divorce?" said the woman. "Never! I've fallen in love with the guy."

Loving words and actions change not only the spouse; they change the one speaking and acting lovingly. Didn't Jesus say, "Love your enemies" (Matthew 5:44)? Perhaps your spouse qualifies, at least at certain moments! It may seem impossible, but Galatians 5 reassures us that it's not all up to us. The Holy Spirit, who dwells within believers, produces godly attributes in us: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. What a list! All we need to do is allow him to work within us.

Loving your spouse in the power of the Holy Spirit will never make things worse. Who knows? Things may get better. Go against your emotions, and give love a chance.

Father, lam so grateful for the gift of the Holy Spirit, who is able to produce wonderful fruit in me. Please help me to get out of the way and allow the Spirit to work. With your help, l can love my spouse through my actions, even when I don't feel like doing it. I want to be transformed by your love, Lord.

Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.

1 CORINTHIANS 11:1 (NIV)

AMONG THE THINGS you will leave behind when you die is a marital legacy. Your example will without a doubt influence the lives of your children and others who observe it. Few things are more important than building the kind of marriage that you would be happy to have your children emulate.

When I ask older parents, "What do you wish for your adult children?" their response is often, "I want them to be happily married and to rear their children to be loving, caring citizens." That's a worthy goal. What are you doing to foster that goal? I want to suggest that the model of your own marriage is the greatest factor in helping your children have happy marriages.

The question is, will you leave a positive or a negative legacy? Many young adults struggle greatly because of the influence of the negative example set by their parents' marriage. Others are blessed greatly by a positive model.

It is not too late. As long as you are alive, you have time to work on the marital legacy you will leave behind. The best thing we can do is what Paul did: follow the example of Christ. The more closely we follow Jesus and treat each other the way he calls us to, the more Christlike our legacy will be.

Lord Jesus, l know that the only way 1 can leave a strong legacy is by following your example. Please help me to become more and more like you in the wayl treatmy spouse and the way 1 approach our marriage. I want to leave a positive example for those around us. Thank you, Lord.

Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, yourfaith, and your purity. i TIMOTHY 4:12

WHAT KIND OF LEGACY will you leave your children? When you die, you will leave some material legacy: money, clothes, furniture, cars, and so forth. But the most powerful legacy you will leave your children is the legacy of your marriage.

John buried his seventy-eight-year-old father a year after his mother passed away. His father had lived in a nursing home for several years, and his money had run out. He had no financial legacy to leave. "Before he died;' John recalled, "he told me he wanted me to have his wedding band. After his death, when I went to the nursing home, they gave me a bag with Dad's clothes. At the bottom was a small plastic bag containing his wedding band. Now that ring is on my dresser. I look at it every day and remind myself of Dad's faithful marriage to Mom for over fifty years. I think about all he did for me when I was young, and I pray that I will be the kind of husband and father he was."

John's words speak of a legacy far more valuable than material property. The apostle Paul wrote to Timothy, encouraging him to be an example in the way he lived, believed, and loved. That's a challenge to us as well. What will your children think someday when they look at your wedding ring?

Lord Jesus, l want to leave a positive legacy. Please help my spouse and me to love each other well, even as we weather challenges in our relationship. May those around us see our marriage and be encouraged.