The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus (20 page)

Erotic Videos

I hate the way most straight pornos show oral sex on a woman: extremely brief, hard tongue-flicking on the clitoris. From what I’ve seen it’s usually portrayed as just another step in the kissing/fellatio /cunnilingus/vaginal intercourse/anal intercourse/ coming on her boobs sequence—boring.

Adult film is another one of those things that isn’t for everyone. The adult industry is as varied as any arm of the entertainment industry, with high- and low-quality production, people who enjoy what they do and those who don’t, and something for every niche market conceivable. Porn itself sparks a contentious debate within many circles. That is not my debate here—but if you choose to watch adults having sex on your television to inspire sex (especially cunnilingus!), then I have many supportive suggestions for you.

Porn can be an amazing sex toy for women, and shared between couples. Many “educated” people actually believe that women don’t want to watch porn or absurdly claim that women don’t get turned on by it, when a significant share of the porn-buying populace shows the opposite. Women respond just as physiologically to erotic imagery as men do, and in studies, it’s their genitals that give them away. Dr. Ellen Laan of the University of Amsterdam, in her 1994 study “Women’s Sexual and Emotional Responses to Male- and Female-Produced Erotica,” has shown us that women’s genitals engorge exuberantly when they are watching porn that they later describe as boring and unerotic.

Watching porn can be disappointing if you aren’t briefed on what to expect. The visual quality of most pornographic plot-driven movies has barely edged past daytime soap opera viewing: digital textures, unremarkable sets, cardboard acting, and sex that has little to do with the story. If you don’t want a story, there are plenty of features that contain only “wall-to-wall” sex, usually strung together with a loose theme. There are a few exceptions to the on-again, off-again quality, and the key to finding them is to look for the names of certain actors and directors. This is especially true if you’re going to your local video store for rentals, because by and large adult retailers seem to be allergic to alphabetical order, and they wouldn’t know a Dewey Decimal if it hit them on the head.

The first rule of thumb when watching porn is to have the remote control handy at all times. This way, if a scene bores you or is unarousing, you can just fast-forward through it. Your remote is your best friend, always there when you need it. Next, remember that porn has big issues with showing stars with normal bodies, meaning that the adult world shares Hollywood’s obsessions with ultra-skinny women, blondes, and big, overstuffed boobs. And porn can be very sexist and will often depict mildly unsafe sex practices, such as anus-to-vagina penetration. They do weird things in porn that people don’t usually do in their actual sex lives, such as ejaculating every single time on someone’s face. These things don’t always happen, and they happen less often in better productions, but forewarned is forearmed. I’m going to recommend a few directors who focus on women’s pleasure and make porn that by and large omits the troubling issues I just mentioned.

Typically in adult films, cunnilingus is shown in ways that have little to do with the starlet’s pleasure. Don’t expect to rent an adult film and learn how to perform cunnilingus unless it’s a higher-quality instructional video. In porn, cunnilingus is what I call “camera-angled, not pleasure-angled,” meaning that the everything is positioned for a good camera view, not for what actually works. The woman’s legs will be spread yoga-posture wide and the licker will have their head cocked at an angle so the big camera and all the lights can squeeze in there. As if that weren’t bad enough, most lickers don’t have a clue about what they’re doing, and they end up looking like a dog cleaning out a tin can. Don’t be a casualty of “porno-tongue”—let it turn you on, not teach you how.

My top picks for directors who make great films with scorching cunnilingus scenes (and authentic female orgasms) are Veronica Hart, Candida Royalle, Shar Rednour and Jackie Strano, and Paul Thomas. All of them make intelligent movies that focus on women’s pleasure, and you can count on a great cunnilingus scene in each tape you watch. Veronica Hart’s films are the most tightly scripted of the bunch and tend to mix raunch and romance. Royalle’s films are softer, more of the heterosexual “feminist porn” ilk, and don’t contain any anal sex scenes (with only one exception). Shar and Jackie are a femme and butch production team who make quality dyke porn, occasionally including cunnilingus scenes with dental dams that are unbelievably hot depictions of safer sex. Paul Thomas’s films are intense and moody, sometimes film noir in style, and can contain suggestions of violence content (no violence occurs onscreen) in the plot lines, though they’re solid films.

Women-only porn is a gold mine for cunnilingus scenes, but be warned that girl-girl action is largely hit and miss, because the women are usually not lesbians. The
No Man’s Land
series is the best mainstream lesbian series out there, with plots and characters who are actually lesbians, though the actresses are obviously porn starlets. In them, you’ll find lots of cunnilingus and toys, and many actresses who prefer to do scenes only with other women—a bonus! The
Femme
series and the
Four Finger Club
series are also notable for cunning linguists. If you can find them, the
S.F. Lesbians
series, though a bit older and dated, feature real, hot lesbians having wall-to-wall sex. Again, the most real dyke porn can be found in tapes made by Rednour and Strano’s S.I.R. Productions.

But who gives the best girl-head in the business? There are quite a few contestants, but in overall onscreen performances, real dykes and lesbians will make them come every time. In mainstream porn, a few male actors stand out: Randy Spears is number one, and a joy to watch licking any pussy that’s in front of him. Mickey G is married to starlet Missy, and they have incredible chemistry together, making cunnilingus scenes electric—but it’s great to watch him lick anyone. Mr. Marcus is a big, beefy, African American actor who has a tender touch and a well-muscled tongue, putting him on the good licks list. Michael J. Cox, apart from his funny name, is cute—and lanky—and he knows a thing or two about going down on a gal.

There are many women in adult movies who love to lavish the licks on each other, and a couple stand out. Nina Hartley is a legendary porn star who also makes how-to sex tapes, but seeing her in action going down on women is very hot indeed. Tina Tyler has the most beautiful, most natural body in the business, and though she’s in a lot of bi films with men only, when she goes down on a woman it makes me jealous. Tina sizzles in her bi movies—she has no hesitation about telling the guys what to do when they get between her legs. Marilyn Chambers, Jill Kelly, Juli Ashton, Ginger Lynn, and Keisha all know how to go down.

How-To Videos

Adult how-to videos are explicit and often contain extra noninstructional sex scenes that make them worth your money. These videos come in two flavors: mainstream adult films made by porn stars, or films independently produced by individuals, sex toy companies, or sex organizations. The mainstream films are usually missing some component of accuracy and are packed with porn stars giving eager, though sometimes mechanical, demonstrations. The independents make up for what they lack in budgets and the actors’ on-camera presence by featuring normal folks, usually real-life, clearly loving couples.

In the realm of cunnilingus, there are a couple of tapes that can show you how to do some of the things in this book and can provide sexy inspiration.
Nina Hartley’s Making Love to Women
is one part information, many parts incendiary cunnilingus action, and with hottie Tina Tyler in it, it’s pretty arousing to watch. It’s Nina’s most recent and her best tape on the subject. Nina’s are the only quality how-to tapes on cunnilingus that aren’t exclusively heterosexual. The
Complete Guide to Oral Lovemaking
has a 1980s feel to it (hair and lingerie especially) and is full of talking heads—”experts” to make you feel comfortable and nonsleazy. Its information is straightforward, but don’t expect any in-depth descriptions of cunnilingus.
Better Oral Sex Techniques
is a Sinclair Institute video, part of their series of how-to tapes, and like all Sinclair tapes it features actual couples. The action is broken up by more talking heads, and the video presents the information in an annoying, numbered sequence. Much like its cunnilingus guidebook counterparts, it’s pretty slim pickings—for now.

There are several terrific how-to tapes about women’s sexuality that enrich and complement a healthy sex life. Women seeking to explore their orgasmic capacities will want to watch both of Betty Dodson’s tapes. These incredible videos show Betty teaching women how to orgasm, how to change their orgasms, and how to get in touch with their sexuality. They’re incredible to watch, and no woman can walk away from them without learning something. In
Celebrating Orgasm
, we get to see Betty in her famous one-on-one sex therapy sessions with her clients, and in
Selfloving
, we get a seat in the middle of her very intimate—and very intense—women’s group orgasm therapy sessions. They’re powerful stuff. Annie Sprinkle has done some wonderful video work as well, and you can learn through her spiritual approach how to give a woman a great erotic massage in
Fire in the Valley: An Intimate Guide to Female Genital Massage
. It comes off as a little New Age, but it has great techniques and excellent mindful breath practices.

There’s a big world of sex how-to tapes out there. You can find a tape for just about everything, and even if you don’t find what you want, just wait! There are some eager sex educators out there probably planning your video right now!

CHAPTER 11

Resources

Online and Mail Order

Babeland

Web site, retail stores, and catalog of toys, books, videos, and safer-sex supplies. Women-owned and operated, but open to all orientations. Strict privacy policy. (For retail information, see the “Retail Stores” section below.)

800 658 9119
babeland.com

Blowfish

Mail-order catalog and Web site of toys, books, videos, DVDs, safer-sex supplies, S/M gear, comics, and magazines. They feature individual reviews of their products and a strict privacy policy.

P.O. Box 411290, San Francisco, CA 94141
800 325 2569
415 252 4340
blowfish.com

Coco de Mer

A sophisticated sex toy boutique founded by the daughter of Body Shop owner Anita Roddick, their Web sites and stores in the UK and US feature smart selections and unique tools for enhancing cunnilingus. (For retail information, see “Retail Stores” below.)

020 7836 8882 (UK)
1 866 959 2626 (US)
coco-de-mer.com
(UK)
cocodemerusa.com
(US)

Glyde Dams

Buy ’em here, by the dozen or in a party pack!
sheerglydedams.com

Good Vibrations

Good Vibrations has a staff who are committed to dispensing accurate sex information about the products they sell. Web site and retail stores carry toys, books, and DVDs. (For retail information, see the “Retail Stores” section below.)

934 Howard St., San Francisco, CA 94103
800 289 8423
415 974 8990
goodvibes.com

LoveHoney

This UK-based site is a one-stop shop for quality sex toys, books and videos. They make their own product videos, have an entertaining blog, and are committed to green practices and environmentally conscious products.

Unit A, Locksbrook Road
Bath, BA1 3EU
England
0800 915 6635
lovehoney.co.uk

Retail Stores

A Woman’s Touch

Feminist sex store offering toys, books, and safer-sex supplies. Their Web site has great advice columns.

600 Williamson St., Madison, WI 53703
608 250 1928
200 N. Jefferson St., Milwaukee, WI 53202
414 221 0400
888-621-8880
a-womans-touch.com

Babeland

Retail store, Web site, and catalog of toys, books, videos, and safer-sex supplies. Women-owned and operated, but open to all orientations. They also have in-store educational workshops.

707 E. Pike St., Seattle, WA 98122
206 328 2914
94 Rivington St., New York, NY 10002
212 375 1701
43 Mercer St., New York, NY 10013
212 966 2120
462 Bergen St., Brooklyn, NY 11217
718 638 3820
(Mail order) 800 658 9119
www.babeland.com

Come Again Erotic Emporium

Woman-owned store with toys, books, and lingerie.

353 E. 53
^rd
St. New York, NY 10022
212 308 9394

Eve’s Garden

Woman-focused store with toys, books, and videos.

119 W. 57th St., 12
^th
Floor, New York, NY 10019
800 848 3837
212 757 8651
evesgarden.com