The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus (15 page)

Tongue and Jaw Cramp

One thing for sure is that different women have different sensitivities, preferences, and response times.

Once you’re in position and get your rhythm going, you’re in it for the duration. How long is that? Sorry—there’s no answer to that question. You could lick for a minute or two and then get your head crushed between the thighs of your orgasming Amazon, or you could lick for a long time, and she might not orgasm. Both scenarios—as well as everything in between—can happen with the same woman; it takes as long as it takes, and your tongue might cramp, your jaw might ache, and your neck might get tired. There’s a sort of Murphy’s Law to it all, too—it can seem like when you’re just about to collapse, she’s on the verge of exploding, and that’s when you know that if there’s an oral sex equivalent of shin splints, they should be named after you.

Once in college I pressed my tongue against a girl so hard during oral sex that I actually sprained my jaw or something. It hurt for days. She liked it, but fortunately I have since learned how to give good head and avoid injury.

The best solution is to always pace yourself from the start and keep a steady, slow, methodical pace. When your neck, arms, or tongue begin to ache, change positions. If the cramps in your tongue become difficult, you can very gently, very slowly, work in your fingers in place of your tongue. Remember, you want to mimic your tongue, but because your fingers are much less sensitive, you run the risk of touching her too hard where your feathery tongue once was. An unpleasant jolt, if there ever was one.

Generally, I like to vary stimulation—lick this way for a while, then that way, then stop and just finger her. But when it comes to giving her an orgasm, I have to really hunker down and grind my tongue back and forth against her clitoris in one steady motion until she comes. It can take a while. Sometimes I get a tongue cramp.

Penetration and Sex Toys

It was a revelation when he first fucked me with a dildo while he was licking my clitoris. To be filled up like that, and also get my favorite clitoral stimulation from his tongue—it was like for the first time getting everything I wanted at once. I had an orgasm so powerful I think it disturbed regional weather patterns.

Penetration is one of those very intimate things that connects you with your lover like nothing else and can be an incredible turn-on for both of you. Finger or fingers, a dildo, a penis, or a vibrator all allow you a blissful moment of being extremely intimate with your lover: inside them. Many women (though not all) enjoy penetration during cunnilingus—that is, as long as you don’t stop or interrupt her clitoral tongue bath. Fingers are wonderful to penetrate with during cunnilingus. You’ll already have your hands teasing and tantalizing her, and when she’s turned on you can experiment with slowly sliding one (or two, or more if she likes it) inside while you lick. Be sure your hands are clean (read: scrubbed—no dirt or grime under the nails) and your fingernails are trimmed and filed smooth. Make sure you don’t have any tiny cuts or hangnails. The easiest thing to do is have a latex glove at the ready, or already on. Gloves also provide a firm, slippery sensation that feels absolutely delicious on wet pussies, and she can relax knowing your hands are clean.

What drives me wild is when my girlfriend puts a finger in my ass and another couple in my vagina while she licks me.

Always start with one finger and then add more, and move them in and out in a thrusting rhythm. Keep your fingers stiff and when you put them in, pay attention to the angle they naturally want to go—when you thrust, you’ll want to follow her natural curve. When penetrating her during cunnilingus the first time, try inserting the dildo, your fingers, or the vibe just a little, then ask her what she wants you to do next. Would she like thrusting, stillness, to be licked and pumped simultaneously? Think about how sexy it would be to hear her say, “I want you to fuck me with that dildo while you lick me.”

Keep in mind a few salient facts about how the vagina responds to penetration. Always thrust in and out, not up and down, side to side, or in a circle, unless you know she likes you to—anything besides an in-and-out motion tend to come off as silly, which is fine if you’re having fun. The outer areas, such as the vulva and the opening of the vagina, contain more nerve endings than the vaginal canal and respond best to touch and vibration. The inner portion, inside the canal, has fewer nerve endings near the skin’s surface and responds to feelings of fullness, pressure, and rhythm.

I like going down on my partner until she comes at least once and then fucking her right after. She’s so juicy as I slide my cock in that we don’t even need lube. I enjoy fucking her more knowing that she’s already had an orgasm. Sometimes she comes more while I’m fucking her, but only if I’ve gone down on her first.

A vibrator will feel intense (intensely good) around the clitoris, the areas of the clitoral legs, and the vaginal opening. But as far as sensation goes, the vibration won’t matter so much once it’s inside—the size, shape, and thrusting motion of the vibe will. To maximize your buzz, try to select insertable vibrators that have the vibration located at the base. Vibrators can alleviate tongue and jaw cramp too, giving you something to alternate the stimulation with. When bringing a vibe into the action, start on the lowest speed, and give her more as she asks for it. Remember to never put the vibe directly on her clit right away; always start from the sides. Using a vibrator while you lick will vibrate your tongue and mouth and may make you feel like you whole head is buzzing after a while, but it can feel fantastic to the recipient. Ah, the trade-offs!

Using a sex toy for penetration while you lick her clit may be more easily accomplished if you lick with your head at a slight angle, giving you ample room to thrust a toy with your hand. You can also hold the toy stationary while you lick, allowing her to control the stimulation with her hip movements. What you use really depends on what your lover likes in terms of penetration. Questions to answer are, Do you want the toy to be really hard (plastic), firm (silicone), or softer (jelly rubber and Cyberskin)? Long, medium, or short? Bumpy or smooth? Curved or straight? Like a penis or not? Dildos and vibrators come in rainbows of colors, a mind-boggling assortment of shapes, and a range of special-effects-worthy materials.

But what’s the difference between a dildo and a vibrator? A dildo is basically anything used for penetration that doesn’t vibrate, and you can buy them in penis shapes, whale shapes, smooth curves, or bumpy rides. Some are flared at the base—these are excellent for anal penetration and can be worn in strap-on harnesses. Vibrators come in even more shapes and sizes, with variations on speed and motion, designed for penetration or not. Dildos and vibes are generally made of hard plastic or rubber blends: jelly rubber, clear or opaque, and quite porous; Cyberskin, lifelike, and extremely porous; vinyl, in flat colors, and not porous; and silicone, in many opaque colors, completely nonporous, and sterilizable. Porous models hold bacteria, and it’s best to use these with condoms or toss them after a few uses—which is why they’re inexpensive, and silicone fetches high prices. Hard plastic and Lucite are nonporous.

There are many more variations on vibrators than dildos. Keep in mind that if you see a vibe whose shape you like but you don’t want vibration, you don’t have to ever buy batteries—always get exactly what you want in size and shape, because those are the variables you can’t change. There are also insertable and noninsertable vibrators: all insertable vibrators are on a shaft of some kind, with no openings that would allow moisture to enter and ruin moving parts. No, you won’t get shocked, but moisture would ruin your toy. Noninsertable vibrators, such as “egg” vibrators and Silver Bullets, are smaller and have cords attached. Never insert these and think you can tug on the cord to get them out—most vibes are cheaply made, and you will just yank the cord out, leaving the vibe in. Electric (plug-in) vibrators are more reliable but also more expensive, and they almost always have only two speeds. Vibrators that can be worn on fingers are fantastic for cunnilingus—you just let your fingers do the walking while you lick—but don’t insert these either. Waterproof vibes are a good option, because they can take all the juices you can throw at them and they clean up easily in the sink, with no worry about getting water in the wrong areas.

Whenever we go on a trip, I pack the Fukuoku finger vibe. I like to wear it on my finger when he goes down on me.

Some vibrators vibrate, some pulse; they can have many speeds, dials, or just one or two speeds. When in doubt, buy a vibrator with variable speeds, since a one-speed model may not necessarily be at the right speed for you or your partner; you can adjust the vibration intensity on these as you go. Japanese vibrators look the strangest, with samurai faces and little animals on them, but they’re the highest quality for the money and often have little clit ticklers at the base—fantastic for female masturbation, or for an amazing addition of anal stimulation while you penetrate and lick.

G-spot Stimulation

G-spot lore abounds. Every book written about sex that includes female sexuality mentions this fabled bulls-eye of orgasm, the “tilt” of her pudenda’s pinball machine. Many of these books, however, give erroneous information about the G-spot’s placement, existence, and ability to trigger orgasms. While the G-spot is usually spoken of with affection by aficionados, it’s in question whether these pundits are in the majority: not everyone likes the feeling of G-spot stimulation. But the women who do like it say they like it a lot.

Misinformed sex manuals aside, all women have a G-spot. The G-spot is actually the periurethral sponge, the ring of erectile tissue that surrounds the urethral opening. The periurethral sponge is where urine leaves the body, which explains why many women feel like they have to urinate when it’s massaged—this and the fact that you’re pressing on her bladder. For many this is uncomfortable, but women who orgasm from G-spot stimulation say that once you “push past” the feeling, you come like crazy. The urethral opening is found about one to two inches inside the vagina on the front wall, toward the belly button. For more details, see chapter 3, “Anatomy for Pleasure.”

The G-spot can easily be stimulated during cunnilingus, but it will respond only when she’s fully aroused. Find out if she likes G-spot stimulation or wants to try it before you even think of attempting it. When she’s aroused, the periurethral sponge swells and becomes firm to the touch, and it can respond pleasurably to rhythmic massage. Insert your fingers about one to two inches inside her vagina, and press “up,” toward her belly button. Curve your fingers, and stroke in a stiff “come hither” motion. Dildos and vibrators that are firm (hard plastic is often desirable) and have a curve at the tip are also excellent for G-spot stimulation. Don’t forget to keep licking.

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BY ALISON TYLER

What a fucking workout. I’d pumped iron until my legs were weak and my arms felt like jelly. Sometimes, when I’ve got a lot on my mind, I try to obliterate my thoughts by exercising. Now, I was trying to reconstruct myself beneath the hot, hard spray of the shower. I stood, head down, breathing slowly, deeply, and as I rotated beneath the spray, my thoughts took a slippery trip to the woman who had put me through the hell I’d just endured.

Cleo was new to the club but not new to training. With her panther-lean body, and a hunger for making women sweat, she had pushed me to my limits. Now, as the water rained over me, the thought of her was making me hot in a whole new manner. I couldn’t help but wonder whether her gray eyes would remain that same deep unwavering iron as she put a lover through more erotic motions than the ones she had just put me through in the gym. My fantasies had their way with me, and I slipped one hand between my legs and felt, just tested, to see how aroused I was. That’s when I sensed a presence standing directly outside the smoked shower door.

“Hello?” I called out tentatively, peeking my head out to look into the dressing room. To my surprise, and excitement, it was Cleo…and she was naked, as well.

“Hey—” I started, but the words died on my lips. Cleo grinned at me, and then she climbed in the shower and turned the water back on. “What are you doing?” I asked next, even though I could easily see for myself. From the looks of things, my very personal trainer was lathering me up with a bar of the luxurious oatmeal-scented soap provided by the gym. I stared in awe as this lovely lady ran the soap over my breasts, down my flat belly, going on her knees on the porcelain floor of the shower and pressing the bar between my legs. Christ, that felt good. The hard bar of soap sliding firmly against my clit. I almost lost my balance, had to put my hands out on the wall to hold myself steady.

“Like that?” she asked.

Nodding, I closed my eyes as the hot spray from the shower rained down on the two of us, as my delectable bathing partner now replaced the bar of soap with her knowledgeable fingers.