The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus (10 page)

I like going down on my wife after she’s just worked out at the gym. Tasting her is so intense that I almost come when she does, without even touching myself!

Beard Burn

If you’ve got hair growing on your face, take a moment to think about how it might feel on sensitive genitalia. Conversely, if you like the clean-shaven look, beware of stubble that can turn your romantic overtures into your erotic death sentence. Beard burn really hurts. Make sure you’re freshly shaved; if you’re one of those people who look like they need a shave fifteen minutes after they set down the razor, you’ll want to incorporate a well-positioned towel around her outer lips once you start your oral ministrations. Partners with short facial hair might want to grow it slightly longer to avoid prickling sensitive vulvas with little spikes. When in doubt about how it feels, ask.

Suppose you’re both hot and bothered while she’s having her period, and you want to go down but fall into the “not for me, thanks” camp? Here are a few tricks to try:

• Use safer-sex gear, such as gloves, dental dams, and Saran Wrap.

• If you don’t mind the string, she can use a tampon.

• Try out the Instead cup, available at drugstores. It’s a tampon alternative, consisting of a rubber cup that fits over the cervix and catches the menstrual flow. Experiment with one before you use it during cunnilingus to be sure of fit and comfort.

Menstruation

Once a month, or thereabouts, women of childbearing age bleed. Before we do, the three corkscrew-shaped arteries that connect to the endometrium and provide blood to the placenta during pregnancy slowly coil and slow blood flow. Twenty-four hours before the flood, they twist shut altogether, causing the endometrial tissue to wither and die. Then the corkscrews do an about-face, reopening the blood flow, and blood rushes in, beginning the menstrual period. Contrary to popular media, this is not when we don white jeans and play tennis; if that were so, we would play tennis 450 to 480 times in a lifetime. Instead, we shed around three fluid ounces of blood.

The plain truth about oral sex and menstrual blood is that some couples care and others don’t. It goes without saying (but I’ll say it anyway) that this practice is only for couples who are “fluid bonded,” meaning that you are aware of the implications of swapping potentially lethal bodily fluids and
in full agreement
about doing so. Apart from health risks, though, some folks just find it unappealing .

A woman’s cycle might change her sexual appetites and response cycle greatly or not at all. Some women will be so horny that not even doorknobs will be safe, while others will want to move to an abandoned monastery in Tibet. As with everything from her favorite pizza toppings to what brand of fabric softener she likes, ask, ask, ask.

The Sweets of San Francisco

BY ALISON TYLER

San Francisco is known for many things: the towering Golden Gate Bridge, the rich dark chocolate, the curvaceous hills, the vibrator museum. But to my way of thinking, the most important landmark can’t be found on any map of classic tourist sites. Eat your heart out with jealousy, because it’s mine alone to enjoy—that special no-man’s region between my girlfriend’s thighs.

I’m not only talking about her sweet pussy, although I must say that her cunt is my all-time, five-star favorite place to dine. No, my road map of pleasure starts much lower on Miranda’s body. Generally, I begin a bit above her knees but well below the curves of her inner thighs. I lick my way up her legs, giving her time to both tune in and turn on. There’s nothing like it. Moving my tongue in slow strokes up her soft skin. Lapping with the flat of my tongue, then tracing designs with the pointed tip.

I can sense her pleasure as it starts to build. She wriggles her body on the mattress, or the sofa, or the linoleum-covered floor of our kitchen. She moans softly and makes encouraging catlike noises, little half-purrs, half-growls.

But even more arousing to me than her sounds or her actions is her scent. It wafts over me slowly, creeps up on me like San Francisco’s famous early-morning fog. I wait for it as my tongue takes the trip along her body. All my senses are in tune, preparing for the first heady breath of her pussy. Each time, it’s the same. That scent makes my own cunt throb in response, echoing her pleasure.

“Tomi,” she whimpers. “Please—”

There is no word following please. This is because she doesn’t want me to stop or to go faster. Truly, Miranda doesn’t want me to do anything except exactly what I’m doing. Licking my way ever so slowly toward the split between her thighs, and taking my time to enjoy the view along the way. Still, she can’t stay quiet because…well, because she can’t.

The smoothness of her shaved skin reaches up and up to her completely bare pussy. It’s so different from the wild woolliness between my own legs. I love that difference, like to nuzzle my nose up into it, letting her feel every part of my smooth face with her cunt. I do this before I even part my lips for the first taste, before I introduce her to the wetness of my tongue at her core.

When I’m ready—and we go by my speed and by my clock—I breathe in deeply, like someone at a wine tasting inhaling the bouquet. The scent of her pussy is like nothing else, and like everything else. It is like a deep French Merlot. A lemon-fresh breeze. A first sip of strong espresso. More than that, it’s addictive. I simply can’t get enough.

That’s all right with Miranda. She doesn’t want me to get enough. Parting her slender thighs wider to help, she runs her fingers through my tousled, gray-streaked hair. Tonight, we are in the kitchen, because occasionally I like to play in the stark atmosphere as a change from the comfort of our bed. The bedroom is Miranda’s domain, with her flurry of fluffed-up pillows, goose-down comforter, satin sheets. But the kitchen is all mine, and it matches my clear-headed personality: stainless steel sink, sleek chopping knives perfectly displayed, neatly stacked plates. I like to see my rose-cheeked girlfriend naked on the black-and-white checkered floor, her hands over her head, her blue eyes half-shut in a look of total bliss.

Miranda is completely stripped, but I’m still in jeans and a white T-shirt, leather boots on, leather belt around my waist. Being dressed while she’s nude turns me on even more, and I have to scoop her ass up in my hands, lift her hips to my mouth and feed. Even though I’ve worked at a lazy pace to this point, now I feel that heat pulse within me. I want to drink her down. Want to swallow her up.

My face presses tight against her pussy. My tongue flicks deep inside. I lick and lick, tickling her clit with just the tip before driving it in home. I am sealed to her cunt, but I still can hear her speak. “Tomi,” she says, and I hear in the tone of her voice how close she is. Teetering. But I already knew that from the abundant juices smeared across my lips.

“Oh, God, Tomi, yes—” she moans, reaching down again to twine her fingers in my hair as she comes. Pushing hard. Pulling in. I lap at her dripping slit until those magic waves crest through her. Until she’s breathless and limp in my arms.

The sweets of San Francisco.

That’s what my girlfriend is. And just as with any sinful dessert, I cannot get enough.

CHAPTER 6

Cunning Linguistics: Getting Started

If you’re interested in going down on your female partner and never have before, then you’re going to be adding something new to your sexuality. And if you’re in a relationship, you’re adding a new sexual behavior to your routine. Perhaps cunnilingus is already part of your lovemaking, but one of you wants it to change. Adding new sex practices or tailoring existing ones to individual desires can be a lot of fun, or it can be a nerve-wracking experience.

The important thing to consider when adding any new sexual technique to your repertoire is where your goals lie. Are you interested in increasing intimacy, or do you just want to get off? Is your goal to establish trust, or are you simply after an evening of arousing, teasing sexual play? Are you looking for orgasm, affection, or fun? Regardless, you should always make your main goal to have fun, be close, and want her dearly. If she senses this through your tongue’s tender ministrations, then you’re both already halfway to heaven.

My girlfriend likes getting oral sex but doesn’t ever seem to want me to make her come with my mouth. For her, it’s like it takes away from the main event, which for her is intercourse. Actually, it kind of bothers me that she won’t allow me to give her those other kinds of orgasms.

Cunning Strategies and Suggestions

Talking to your partner about sex can feel like a make-or-break scenario, especially if you’re plotting to introduce a new erotic behavior, such as cunnilingus. Very few couples can figuratively hold hands and jump off such a cliff together. But that’s exactly what it feels like when you want to talk about cunnilingus, and you have no idea how your lover will react—whether you’re asking to give or to get. Telling your partner that you want something in your sex life to change is scary if you have a routine. Opening yourself up and asking for something you want sexually takes courage, strategy, and an understanding of why your partner might be reluctant.

When you don’t normally talk about sex in your relationship, starting to might upset your proverbial apple cart. Your lover might wonder if you’ve had sexual secrets all along. However, it’s very likely that your opening up the can of worms will give them the opportunity to tell you what’s on their mind about sex, too.

Before you begin, think about how you might bring it up in a way that would feel safe for you: Would you feel most comfortable renting a mainstream movie with an oral sex scene in it, and commenting on the scene? Some suggestions include
Henry and June, Basic Instinct
(the director’s cut),
Stiff Upper Lips
, Louis Malle’s 1958
The Lovers
(
Les Amants
),
Good Will Hunting
, and
Kama Sutra
. Or do you think you’d feel okay asking your lover what they think of cunnilingus while you’re entwined in an intimate cuddle? Try giving them a collection of erotic stories as a gift, or read aloud a story that contains a cunnilingus scenario (for story recommendations, see chapter 10, “Independent Study”). Another technique you can try is telling them you want to confess a sexual fantasy and that they aren’t to respond to it right away. Tell them that you can have a conversation about it later; this gives both parties time to feel safe about the exchange.

Illustration 8. Cunning Strategy

Consider ways in which you can encourage your partner to hear you out, and ask them to suspend judgment until you can explain why this is important, and how cunnilingus is going to make you feel—and be sure to reassure them about how hot under the collar they make you feel. Whether you want to give or receive cunnilingus, the most important thing to think through beforehand is how you are going to make your partner feel safe when talking about it. Rehearse what you’d like to say in your head before you actually have the conversation. Think through possible scenarios of how they might react, so you can be prepared to flow with whichever route the discussion might take.

For some women, the idea of having your face between their legs is likely to bring up a whole host of feelings of sexual shame. Before you open the discussion, you’ll want to read up on the fears women face about cunnilingus in chapter 2, “How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Getting Head.” If you have an understanding of the sexual stigmas that all women grow up with, you’ll know what her concerns are and will have a handle on facing them together. Of course, more than a few women are going to have no problem whatsoever with your desire to go down on them—your intentions may be very warmly received.