They Don't Teach Corporate in College (15 page)

3. Be honest.
Admit if you do something wrong, and then ask your boss how you can rectify the situation. Don't allow yourself to get caught in a maze of lies or excuses that will result in a loss of credibility.

4. Be respectful of your boss's time.
Appear in his office with a checklist of things you need to cover, and don't dwell too long on any particular subject. Your boss will be more receptive to meeting with you if he knows you'll be in and out of his office quickly.

5. Be self-sufficient.
Only approach your boss with a problem or complaint if you've explored all options for resolving it yourself. When you do approach him, be prepared to have a solution at hand that you could implement with his help. Choose your battles wisely, and decide carefully if bringing an issue to your boss's attention is really necessary or if you would be better off letting it go.

6. Be friendly.
Encourage your boss to genuinely like you. If he expresses an outrageous political opinion or offers unsolicited advice about your personal life, nod and smile. You don't have to agree, but you don't have to disagree either. Your boss's feelings should be protected at all times. Compliment him on his tie or presentation, if it's appropriate, and thank him profusely for any efforts on your behalf. Do personal favors for him and brownnose all you want, but make sure you do it sincerely. Your boss will smell phoniness a million miles away—and believe me, he won't appreciate it. Even if your boss isn't someone you'd choose as a friend, focus on the things about him you do like, and do your best to establish a positive working relationship.

7. Be a “can do” employee.
When your boss asks you to do something, accommodate him, if possible. The words “I don't have time” should never escape your lips. If you know something needs to be done, do it without being prodded, and if your boss asks for help in a group
setting, be the first to volunteer. Your boss will quickly come to see you as a huge asset to the team and as someone he can count on.

There's one important caveat to the “can do” mantra: You have to set reasonable boundaries for your new manager. There is a fine line between being a hard worker and letting people take advantage of you. Some managers, even good ones, fall victim to the “gofer” syndrome. If you've ever tried in vain to track down the guy who fills up the kitchen's cappuccino machine, you know what I'm talking about. The gofer syndrome involves a stream of barked orders to the tune of, “Do this, do that, get me this, get me that, tell this person ABC, and get an answer from that person on XYZ.” Pretty soon, you're spending so much time on silly errands that you don't have time to get any real work done. Cure your boss of the gofer syndrome by telling him that you're happy find the cappuccino guy if he will give you permission to de-prioritize the report you're working on for the CEO. Your boss will see for himself how he should best utilize your time.

Also, don't let your boss catch you staying until 10 p.m. or obsessively responding to email within five minutes on weekends unless you want her to expect that behavior from you for the duration of your career. Along those same lines, you shouldn't impose a performance standard on yourself that is impossible to maintain. If you return all of your boss's messages immediately and complete assignments way ahead of deadlines, you run the risk of disappointing her when you can't deliver.

One more piece of advice: Get to know coworkers who report to the same manager quickly so that you can probe them about your boss's pet peeves, preferences, and expectations. Be careful how you phrase your questions, though, because you don't want to launch a discussion that criticizes your new boss in any way. Ask a colleague to fill you in on the chain of command in your department. Use this information to introduce yourself and explain your function in the office to your boss's boss and the other managers with whom you'll be working. Establishing strong relationships with the department higher-ups will accomplish the dual functions of making your boss look good and strengthening your overall position in the company.

When I moved to San Francisco to start a new marketing job in the cosmetics industry, I really wanted to make friends with the
younger people in my department. I tried to get to know the girls who worked in the cubes around me, but they were such a tight-knit group that I thought I was back in high school. Every time I'd ask one of them to go to lunch, she would come up with some excuse, and then later I would see her leaving with one of our other colleagues. Then one day, I saw the girl next to me thumbing through a bridal magazine. I walked up to her and asked her about her wedding. She was more than happy to talk about it, and when I told her I was from St. Louis (where she was getting married), she couldn't stop asking me questions.

Preeti, 24, California

Imagine being stranded on a desert island with your coworkers. Scary, huh? But when you think about it, you spend just as much time with them at work as you would if you were all breaking coconuts over your knees in the South Pacific. Therefore, if you want to enjoy your job, it's in your best interests to make friends with some of these folks. Work friends will be there when you want to grab a bite at the restaurant down the block or take a quick turn on the treadmill at the gym. They'll be there when you need to commiserate about a project or vent about a new company policy. They may even be around when your world changes forever, such as when my colleagues and I watched the September 11 terrorist attack on the World Trade Center. Work friendships make the professional world bearable, and you shouldn't try to make do without them.

The ideal time to scout out potential work friendships is at the start of a new job. When your boss introduces you to the other members of your team, make a note of people your age who look friendly. Take them up on their offers to help you. Maybe you already know how to order business cards, but there's no harm in finding an excuse to talk to your new coworkers. If someone asks you to get a cup of coffee, go gladly, but don't jump at the chance for a friend so quickly that you end up spending all of your time with one particular person. Because you're unfamiliar with people's allegiances, you need to avoid aligning yourself with a single colleague or group of colleagues. In your first month, you should aim to know a little about a lot of people rather than the other way around.

Once you're established in the department, make an effort to get to know potential work friends personally. This can be intimidating and even somewhat difficult if your office is full of cliques. It's possible that a group of your
coworkers will go out to happy hour and leave you sitting at your desk feeling like the new kid in third grade all over again. The only way to break through work social groups is one person at a time. Zero in on the most approachable person in the group, find out what interests him, and then weave these things into a conversation. For example, if you see that your next-door neighbor has a Nerf basketball net in his cube, you might ask him if he caught the Final Four game last night. People love to talk about themselves, so encourage potential friends to tell you about their lives. Listen to what they say, and talk about yourself only if asked. Doing someone a favor is also a good friend-making strategy. Suppose one of your teammates is frantically looking for a last-minute pet sitter while she goes out of town on business. If you live in her neighborhood, graciously offer to feed her cats. Your teammate won't forget this act of goodwill, and will be likely to view you favorably in the future.

Sometimes team members will be nonresponsive to your gestures of friendship. Don't take it personally. Your department's culture might encourage people to keep to themselves, or you and your coworkers might not have much in common. If this is the case, expand your search to the rest of the company. Perhaps you should get to know the girl from accounting a little better. What about that guy who always rides the elevator with you in the morning?

In addition, check with human resources to see if your company sponsors out-of-office activities, such as sports teams, travel clubs, or volunteer and charity initiatives that allow you to express your sense of social responsibility. Sign up for “extracurriculars” that catch your eye, and commit to attending events. Once you're there, find someone you know, and ask him to introduce you around. Remember, as with everything in the business world, new work friendships require follow-up. When you meet someone interesting, think of an excuse to drop him an email afterward. You'll remind him who you are and encourage him to make contact again.

A word on dating at work: Don't go out with someone in your company unless you can handle seeing that person every day if the relationship doesn't work out. Definitely avoid dating your boss or anyone on your immediate team. Even if you end up marrying that person, it won't be worth the career complications. The best idea? Get your colleagues to introduce you to their single friends!

I will never forget the day I was standing on the corner of 43rd Street and Broadway in New York City with my coworker Laura. Laura and I had been through a lot together in the year we had worked on the same public relations account team. We had coped with ego-obsessed executives and unreasonable clients, and we had implemented innovative and creative ideas neither of us knew we had in us. Nearly every day, Laura and I had lunch together to dish about our projects and the latest goings-on in our personal lives.

Standing on the corner, I said to Laura, “I'm so glad you're one of my closest friends.”

She looked at me strangely. “Alex,” she said. “There's a difference between close friends and people you talk to at work. You know that, right?”

Laura's response may have been a little harsh, but it taught me an important lesson about work friends vs. real friends: it's easy to mistake one for the other, especially when you're struggling to establish a social life. In school, making friends is as simple as walking over to the dorm room next door and plopping down on the bed. After college, however, there are no such opportunities. Because you might be too busy to go out and meet new people, the tendency is to target your coworkers. It makes sense. After all, they might be the only people you know who are your age, and you see them for eight hours every day.

Although many people use work as a springboard for building strong friendships outside the office, I wouldn't assume your colleagues are your new best friends just because you take your coffee breaks together. Laura was right—there are differences between close friends who will be there for you through life's tough times and people you hang out with while you happen to be stuck in the same building. You can spare yourself disappointment later on by noting the differences between a work friend and a real friend. Here are some questions to ask yourself:

If your friend left the company, would you still be in touch with her in a year?

If you had a personal emergency, would you consider asking your friend for help?

Do you hang out with your friend outside the office? (Weekday lunch, happy hour, and business trips don't count.)