They Don't Teach Corporate in College (17 page)

6. Don't share secrets.
Really need to keep it a secret? Don't tell anyone. If you need to preface a statement with “promise you won't tell a soul”
or “don't tell anyone I said this,” you shouldn't be saying it. The only people you can trust with secrets at work are the folks who fall into the “real friend” category we talked about earlier, and even then you should be wary. Think about it: Would you trust each friend in your close-knit college clan with a secret that could ruin your reputation if it got out? Exactly. If you absolutely must tell someone that you're looking for a new job, for example, call your mom.

I still can't stomach the whole networking thing. I was recently at a conference where I saw a guy who graduated from my school a few years ahead of me. I'd read something about him in the alumni magazine. He had an amazing job in my field, and I wanted to go talk to him more than anything. In the end, though, I was too self-conscious. Why on earth would this guy want to help me, and what right did I have to ask him anyway? I didn't want to feel like a slimy car salesman, so I left. I knew I probably blew a great opportunity, but I just couldn't make myself do it.

Manuel, 25, Colorado

A popular misconception among twenty-somethings is that networking is about getting a job. In reality, it's much more than that. Michael Alexander of FindAMentor (findamentor.org) defines networking as “working a net to catch information.” It's about establishing relationships that provide you with valuable feedback and allow you to make educated decisions. You do it every day without even realizing it. Let's look at an example: Suppose within days of your move to a new town, your car breaks down. How would you handle this situation? Would you fire up Yelp and take your car to the first mechanic you see, or would you ask your colleagues for a recommendation? The second option is an example of networking. Think about why many successful businesses don't need to advertise. They obtain new clients by word of mouth—otherwise known as networking!

The purpose of business networking is to gain information, increase your visibility in your field, and establish personal connections that will help you move forward in your career. Even if you're happy with your job, you should always be looking ahead to the next one. How do you use networking as a tool to prepare for your career's future? There are a few steps involved in this process:

1. Expand your business networks before you actually need to.
Judith Gerberg, career counselor and director of Gerberg & Co. in New York City, recommends looking beyond your company for business contacts so that your networking will have lifelong continuity, regardless of the specific jobs you hold. She suggests joining professional organizations in which you have a genuine interest and attending at least one activity a month. At the same time, you should habitually ask people in your circle if they know anyone who might be a good contact for you. At its core, networking should be fun. If you seek out people who care about the same things you do, you'll enjoy networking and won't view it as a chore.

2. Know what you want from your contacts and what you can offer them.
Many people dislike networking because they think that asking a stranger for help is an imposition. Remember that it's human nature to want to help someone, and I think you'll find that most people will be receptive, provided you approach them the right way. If you know you're going to be meeting potential contacts, don't just drop a pile of business cards in your briefcase and call it a day. Prepare for networking conversations in advance by considering what you need from the contact. Will a phone conversation do, or would you like to meet your contact for coffee or a meal? Additionally, Rachel Solar-Tuttle, coauthor of
Table Talk
, says that because networking is collaboration, every time you ask for something or meet with a potential contact, you should think about how you can help him in return. Listen to your contacts carefully so that you can glean insights about how you might assist them. Remember that networking is like karma—what goes around comes around.

3. Contact the person.
When approaching a potential contact, be friendly, respectful, and brief. In
Chapter 1
, we talked about how email usually achieves better results than a phone call, but if you are attending a networking event, an in-person conversation is often the best option of all. No matter how you make contact, always keep in mind that the person is doing you a favor. If he's in the middle of something, don't interrupt, and be conscious of his time commitments. When you sit down with your contact one on one, offer to pay any expenses associated with the meeting, and remember to send him a thank-you note afterward. Another important point: don't be a stalker. Practice what I call the 3/6 rule—contact the person three
times over a period of six weeks, and if you don't hear back, move on to someone else who will be more open to helping you.

4. Follow up with your contact regularly.
After a successful first networking meeting, it's your responsibility to keep the lines of communication open. Did your contact give you any advice or suggest a course of action? If so, touch base every so often to remind him who you are and to keep him apprised of your progress. Be aware of his career moves, and make sure he stays informed of yours. Invite him to get together again, and, during the holiday season, send him a card with a nice note.

Even the most natural networking interactions can be challenging if you're shy. You might not like asking people for anything, whether it's for advice about a particular industry or for a piece of gum. I overcome my anxiety by talking to potential contacts about the aspects of my career I feel most strongly about. Should a networking opportunity present itself during an impromptu conversation, I make a conscious effort to be myself and stick to subjects I know well. When making a networking call, I jot down a few notes so that I won't forget what I want to say. I schedule time for these in the morning when my energy level is high. I also make it a point to stand up during each call, because I tend to sound more professional when I do so. After several years of practice, I'm still nervous talking to people I don't know. However, every time I do it and experience a positive outcome, I gain a little more confidence. I promise that you will too!

Last year, when my friend Ben Casnocha sent me a copy of his new book,
The Start-Up of You
, I knew that I was going to read something innovative about networking. After all, Ben wrote it with Reid Hoffman, the cofounder and chairman of LinkedIn, and if anything has changed the game of networking in the 21st century, it's LinkedIn.

I was not disappointed. Here are four networking tips from Ben and Reid that I hadn't heard before, despite having read endless material on the subject. Start using them today, before you actually need them and before everyone else gets in on the secret.

1. Start your own association.
Convene influential friends and colleagues with similar interests to share ideas and resources. Offer thought-leadership and high-level conversation so that it's more than
just a networking group. Meet on a regular basis, in a convenient location. This is a great way to keep relationships strong and receive great insights in the process.

2. Create an “intriguing people” fund.
Automatically funnel a certain percentage of your paycheck into a bucket that pays for coffees, lunches, and the occasional plane ticket to meet new people and shore up existing relationships. Pick a person who is a weaker tie but with whom you would like to have a stronger alliance, and for several months, invest time and energy into building the relationship via shared knowledge and offers to help.

3. Connect the dots in your network.
Pair individuals together who have similar interests, and make introductions via email. You may not benefit immediately, and that's okay. Then, think about a challenge you are dealing with and ask an existing connection for an introduction to someone who could help. Jumpstart the process by offering a small gift—such as a relevant article—to the person you want to meet.

4. Do the layoff test.
If you got laid off from your job today, who are the 10 people you'd ask for advice on what to do next? Reach out to them now, when you don't need anything specifically. Have lunch, coffee, or even a phone call. You never know what gold nuggets might come out of an informal conversation without an urgent agenda.

I've been on Facebook since I was a freshman in college, and even though I'm about to graduate, I thought about leaving my profile up as is. After all, it took me a long time to put that thing together and I'm kind of proud of it. But now my career counselor is telling me that I should be using my social networks to meet people who can help me find a job for next year, and she's convinced that employers will actually be looking at what I have up there. I think I liked it better when Facebook was just open to your college network.

Jenson, 22, Iowa

Social networking is the grouping of like-minded individuals online, and it's is a terrific tactic for gaining access to respected individuals you probably wouldn't have the opportunity to interact with otherwise. Most of you
probably belong to Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat already, and there are tons more platforms that are both general and specific to particular industries.

Assuming you want to use social networks to bolster your career relationship–building activities, Diane Danielson and Lindsey Pollak, authors of
The Savvy Gal's Guide to Online Networking
, recommend that you start by researching where your colleagues and potential contacts hang out. Most networks also allow you to search by industry without signing up. For example, say Danielson and Pollak, if you're looking for decision makers in the healthcare industry, go to a networking site's search page and put in a job title (such as “healthcare CFO”). They also suggest taking a moment to check out the networks your friends and colleagues invite you to join.

Getting started on most social networks is pretty easy. You register for free and then create a personal profile that includes information such as your work history, organizations to which you belong, your interests and hobbies, awards and honors you've received, and the types of people with whom you're interested in connecting. One of the best things about them is that you'll never have to trouble yourself maintaining your address book again, as your online networking contacts will update their own information as needed.

As I briefly discussed in
Chapter 1
, make sure your social network profiles effectively portray your professional persona. And yes, this includes monitoring your friends' pictures and comments that appear on your pages. Among some other helpful tips from Danielson and Pollak:

Meet first, ask later.
When meeting people in a social networking setting, it's best to develop a genuine personal connection first, and then broach the subject of how you and your new contact might help each other.

Deliver what you promise.
Do not try to make friends by promising follow-up you may not be able to deliver (such as guaranteeing a meeting with your boss or client). Overpromising and underdelivering is a quick way to lose friends and alienate new contacts.

Manage your expectations.
It's unlikely that any one single networking encounter will result in obtaining a new job or new customer. Approach each connection with a specific, more tangible goal in mind, such as securing a second meeting or gaining some valuable insight or information.