Trust Me (12 page)

“I have it on good authority that my girl loves this song, it’s not her favorite, but that one isn’t appropriate for our show.” He looked at me and winked again. “So as serenades go, it’s not the romantic type, but I still get awesome boyfriend points.” And with that he started singing me my song.

I was lost watching him sing for me. He pulled me into that place that he had me in last night. There was no crowd and no dad threatening to shatter my happiness; no drugged out brother or ‘my boyfriend won’t kiss me’ fears. It was me and Chad, and I was lost in him entirely.

‘Say it for me-

Say it to me-

I’ll leave this life behind me-

Say it if it’s worth saving me.

His eyes drilled into me when he sang that particular line about leaving this life behind him. When he sang that part he looked out at all his horny female fans before dropping that gaze back on me. It was the only time in the entire song that his eyes left mine. I wanted to know if he meant anything by it, but considering this song wasn’t his selection I figured I was reading too much into it.

It also made his serenade last night all the more charming. God, I was losing myself to him and it had only been just over a week since our first date. I was on my own here, Noah couldn’t protect me from falling for a known playboy and that was exactly what I was doing. I had always crushed on Chad for no other reason than he was Chad Blake and sexy to the extreme. Now he was mine and there were emotions and fears to deal with.

After the serenade they resumed the high energy vibe that came with their original music. Those songs had the women in Aloha House going crazy. I didn’t know what to do with the overwhelming jealousy. I wanted to harm these women, pull their hair through their assholes, or something just as painful and graphic, to get them to back off. I was so claiming him as mine and I now understood exactly why he said calling us an item would matter.

I wanted his mouth on mine, his hands on me. I wanted to hear his voice, a voice capable of making my skin crawl in the most divine way, whispering things in my ear. I sat mesmerized listening to him sing, his voice so sexy, he called on every sense I had and held me captive waiting for more. Everything about him screamed sex, and that made everything in me want to scream ‘Ok!’ I wanted to know why he would call me his, sing to me and make me feel so wanted, and then refrain from putting his mouth to mine. I didn’t know if I was giving him a ‘back off’ vibe, but I was desperate to know what he tasted like.

At the end of the concert I rushed outside for air. The night had come and the air was thick, but I swear I could smell him around me. Instead when I turned, I found Celeste, Candy and Cassa all freaked because I had rushed out.

"What is wrong with you? Did you even tell him how good he was?" Celeste demanded, her hand on her hip. I knew she was right, my running probably looked horrible, but the tone of her voice made me flinch. It was possessive and I was sick of the fangirls ogling what I wanted.

“Calm down cheerleader.” Candy said and stepped up close. “You okay? Need me to get Noah sweetie?” Candy was the only person who had an idea of the past Noah and I had suffered and she knew that emotional moments tended to make me close in on myself. She saw it immediately and was ready to get Noah out here to get me on level.

"I needed air." I gasped and looked at Candy… she was my very best friend. "That was unbelievable...and my reaction..."

“Is totally normal, Carrie. I am only fucking Noah, nothing like what you and Chad are doing, and even I get worked up when I see him jam.” Her tone was comforting, but the look of longing in her eyes was noticeable for just an instant.

"I think I need to kiss him, Candy, not want, but need."

"Then kiss him!" Celeste all but snarled. There was no mistake in her tone this time. She was totally mad.

Candy looked at me, fully aware of the situation, then turned to Celeste using the same tone. "She hasn’t kissed him yet. They were going slow. That’s why she ran out."

Celeste looked like the wind had been knocked out of her. Was it so insane? What was wrong with slow, with establishing a good thing? And if that was the reason, then why was I just as pissed for not having kissed Chad as she was? It’s not like we haven’t had ample opportunity.

Holy fuck
! Maybe I did need Noah to enlighten me some more. I was sexually frustrated by Chad and had yet to experience any of the fun sex parts! I hadn’t felt like there was a huge problem, but after Noah’s jokes and the look on Celeste’s face, maybe there was.

"You’re kidding me right?" She snickered.

“Oh, so help me, Celeste, I will cut you if you fuck with Carrie about this.” Candy shot back.

Celeste glared at Candy, but ignored her. I saw Chad come out the front doors, looking for me no doubt. The guys were with him so it only made my warring emotions more difficult. "I want to, but I don’t know how to even attempt it." I wanted to talk to Noah. He would know if I would be fooling myself even thinking that Chad would want to kiss me, and he really was the best person to talk me down.

"Carrie, he is your boyfriend… it’s part of the territory.” Celeste said, but I still started biting my thumbnail nervously. She rolled her eyes and groaned. “I dare you right now to kiss him!" She said as if the old elementary game would get me.

Of course, I’m not one to pass up a dare.

I walked toward Chad and the smile he gave me was sexy, warm and meant completely for me. He was asking, without words, if I approved. He was about to find out. I glared at Noah in true sisterly fashion. Before I had hoped he would tell me what to do, now I wanted him to turn his head.

"What did ya think baby?" Chad asked. It may be the mushy girl in me, but I love it when he calls me baby.

"Amazing." I could hear the wonder and excitement in my voice. His responding smile of perfectly white teeth and deep dimples did me in. "It makes me want to kiss you."

He smiled and his eyes darkened as they zoned in on me. He was all rock star with a deadly swagger as he stepped forward. “Really?” He said low enough for only me to hear, his voice husky and full of promise. He wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me in tight to him. “That good, huh?” He asked, giving me his ‘fuck yeah’ smile.

“Yeah…” I breathed the words because I had lost my voice and he was so close that I would just a have to lean in a bit……

"I’ll sing to the sky, a dog, a car, I don’t care babe, as long as it means I can kiss you." I was close enough now that I could feel his warm skin, his arms strong and so capable of holding me. His other hand clasped my neck and held my head as he leaned in.

Mouth to mouth about to kiss, I had to tell him. "I was dared to kiss you, but only because I didn’t know how to ask you to kiss me."

He looked at me and smiled before turning his head toward my group of girlfriends who were now standing with his band mates and a few other friends. It had become a scene when Celeste yelled "Kiss!" And everyone else began chanting. Candy and Noah were the exception. Noah just rolled his eyes and slapped Candy’s ass.

Chad looked back at me, possessive eyes locking on mine and yelled to our friends. "Should I kiss my girl?"

He was so close I couldn’t think so I nodded in response as the rest of our group gave a loud “Yes!”

"All you ever have to do is ask, babe." His lips met mine before I could respond. His mouth was smooth and soft and his lips like satin and I wanted the kiss to last forever. The hoots and hollers from our friends were a distant buzz to the roar of Chad in my mouth. When our tongues met for the first time I could have melted at his feet, but I held on waiting for more. He tasted like beer and breath mints and there was something completely erotic about it. The same mouth that sang to the rafters and made a crowd roar in excitement made me weak and greedy and needy with such a gentle lick.

He didn’t overpower me or drown me in tongue. He sucked on my lips before sliding his tongue along mine again. He could seriously kiss, and though I had no breath, I still groaned when he stopped.

Chad stayed close and peppered my lips with a couple of chaste kisses before pulling me in for a hug. "Jesus, my new reason for singing is more of that, Carrie."

"I don’t need singing. From now on that can be an all day, every day kind of thing.”

He laughed and held me close, not caring that I had made a scene or that his friends were teasing him. And then like he was reading my thoughts he bent and whispered in my ear, "You’re mine, Carrie. I could give a shit what they say." And I believed him.

*

After the guys had all their gear loaded, we decided to head over to a friend of the guys, named Gavin. I agreed to go along and held Chad’s hand as we walked to my car. “Did you drive your truck?” I asked when he walked me to my used, but awesome and cute Honda.

“Nope, you’re chauffeuring me tonight.” He took my keys from me, pressed the unlock button on my FOB and guided me to the passenger side.

“I thought I was chauffeuring tonight.” I said with a smile, though I didn’t really care who drove.

“Ok, I lied. I’m driving you in your car.” He was so demanding and ready to take charge. I was ok with that and I giggled like a dumb girly girl. “Love that sound.” He said and then leaned in kissing me square on the lips.

Yay
!

I got in the car and buckled the seat belt while Chad walked around to the driver side. He was sexy even in the most mundane things, like getting in a car, walking, breathing…

He got us on the road and then took my hand in his, bringing it to his mouth and kissing our linked fingers. When he did those sweet little things, I swear to God, my heart stopped.

“You’re lucky. I never let anyone drive my car.” I told him. It was true, I hated people messing with my mirrors and adjusting the seat and the heater and the radio. I was all about habit and not big on change. Seeing Chad in my car after he just readjusted everything spoke volumes about how deep I was into him.

“Well, I kind of planned it. Regardless if you drove or I drove, I was leaving that show with you.”

“Why?” I don’t know why I cared, I was truly happy we were in the car alone together, able to talk. It all felt so surreal. Especially after I had shared him all night with crazed fangirls and then the entire bar witnessing our first kiss, I was desperate for some alone time with him.

“Because I wasn’t going to go another night without throwing down my moves and getting you to kiss me.” He winked again. He had to know that makes me totally crazy, in the best sort of way.

“You sound relieved. Have you been holding back, Chad?” I was joking and he laughed, but I wanted the answer to that about as much as I wanted my next breath.

He gave me a strange look, his brows drawn in and his head cocked to the side. “You really never got it did you?”

Huh? “Got what?”

“That I have been lusting after you for the better part of a year.”

“What?” I asked a little too disbelieving. The way he had been flirting these last few weeks had been torture. To think I have been clueless for the last year is depressing. “No you haven’t.”

“I think I would know.” He laughed. If he wasn’t joking I was a little pissed off that he never said anything but was still out fucking anything that would let him.

“And what? You couldn’t see me through that oasis of pussy you’ve been wading through for the last four years?” I didn’t mean to sound so offended, but I never had been good at keeping my emotions hidden. I sucked at cards for that very reason. Now it appeared that I would suck at relationships.

But Chad took my attack with grace and just laughed. “No, it wasn’t the pussy so much as your brother threatening to cut my dick off if I looked at you.”

What the hell? “Noah knew you liked me?” I asked incredulously.

“Liked you is putting it mildly, but yeah Noah has known.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning I didn’t know if you were maybe interested or if you were still with the guy who’s name sounded like a car.”

I laugh. “Brantley?”

He gives a slight cringe and nods. “Brantley. So I never said anything.” He said Brantley with all the enthusiasm of someone who had just stepped in dog poop and I had to stifle my laugh.

“I meant meaning as in ‘like is putting it mildly’?” See there I go laying it all out there.

“Meaning that I wanted more than to fuck you. I liked you and wanted to like you more and Noah was a mean bully and wouldn’t let me.” He was joking but I knew what he was saying.

“Ah I see, the age old adage of ‘bro’s before hoe’s’.” I couldn’t believe we were having this conversation and actually enjoying it. It was heavy and so not appropriate for second date conversation but there it was and he seemed as content as me to go with it.

“Well, yeah. Hoe’s are gross.”

I laughed out loud and smacked his arm. “You’re a hoe.”

He tsked his tongue and pulled my hand back into his and kissed the top. “Was, baby. I
was
a hoe. Now I’m taken.”

I spent the rest of the ride in silence letting those three little words make my butterfly belly quake in girly giddiness.

‘Now I’m taken.’ He’d said. I just hoped I was enough for him. I wasn’t a virgin, of course, technically. I had been sexually active as far back as I dare or care to remember. Not consensually active though, and not in a way that allowed me to grow sexually like a normal person, exploring and learning about my body and that of the person I’m with.

I felt that sickness roll in like a fog over my mind. I hated my father. In moments like these I was selfish and only thought of what he had done to me and not the shit done to Noah. He’d taken me for years, as a child, a pre teen and then a full blown teenager. I had enough teenage angst going on I didn’t need to add the sexual abuse on top of it. He had told me that he was keeping me safe from other boys’ love and that it was right that the love of my body be given to him. I understand now more than ever how truly sick he was.

He had officially robbed me of the one gift I would give to Chad. Whoa…wait…would I? It only took a fraction of a second for me to realize that yes, I would have given myself to Chad. I can have sex with him, but I will never experience the choice to give my first time to someone who would cherish it. And now he’d found us, possibly to make good on the threats he’d issued all those years ago.