Uncaged (7 page)

“Shame’s a heavy thing to drag around, isn’t it?”

Setting the knife down, he stood. “Come here.”

She rose and stood in front of him. “I’m talking too much, aren’t I?”

Wrapping his arms around her, he drew her close to his chest, enveloping her in a warm, flannel-clad hug. “You are not damaged. Please don’t even say it.”

For a luxurious moment, she allowed her hands to roam over the napped texture of his shirt, sensing the solid tension beneath. Brushing her face against his chest, she reveled in the full-blown feeling of safety and peace she’d been craving. Allowing another man so close would have been unthinkable, but Mitchell felt right. Pressing her ear to his chest, she listened to his heartbeat. “It feels strange to be here with you, talking.”

He broke the embrace first. Pulling away, he grazed his fingertips across her cheek. The light touch lingered. “Do you want to watch TV?”

“Sure.”

Picking up the remote control, he then clicked on a small flat screen fastened to the wall. The television lit. Tilting her head, it became obvious there was no angle to comfortably view from other than the bed.

“I’ve got satellite. I’m surprised we have a signal during a storm this heavy. It could go out at any time.” Clicking up and down the channels, a show in black and white appeared.

“Stop.” She stepped toward the screen. “This episode is one of the original
Twilight Zone’s
. Did you ever watch these?”

“I never watched them, but I’ll give it a try.”

“We came in late. See those people looking confused in that clean, deserted town. They end up riding a train, traveling in a loop to nowhere. Just as they are getting suspicious something’s fishy, the camera pulls back, and we see they’re miniature models trapped on a toy train table, and a child is running their lives.” She paused. “Oh. I just ruined the surprise, didn’t I? Forget it.”

He clicked to another channel. “How about a
Doctor Who
marathon?”

“I never watched
Doctor Who
. You’ll have to explain it to me or bring me up to speed.”

Appearing scandalized, his lips parted. “You never watched
Doctor Who
? Everybody watches
Doctor Who
!”

She shrugged. “Not me. How many episodes have I missed?”

He slumped. “Um. The show’s been on for more than half a century. Where do I start? There’s a Time Lord. He’s the Doctor. Although he looks human, he’s an alien. But he loves humans and can’t stay away from them. He’s always trying to save somebody, and sometimes he gets killed.”

Stepping closer, she gazed into his eyes. “Why do you like the show?”

He stared back. A mixed array of emotions flickered across his face. “It’s a constant. I don’t have many of those.”

With his tousled hair and widened eyes, Mitchell looked like a big kid. The sight pierced her heart. For a moment, she wished she could cleanse the past for both of them and steal a taste of what any other carefree young man and woman might feel for each other. She always hoped someday she’d meet someone and the attraction would be so strong it would override all obstacles. Looking at Mitchell, the possibility he might be the one became real.

She couldn’t resist doing what she’d been dying to do. Rising on tiptoe, she clasped her hands against the sides of his face and drew him into a kiss. The first touch was featherlight, barely more than a shared whisper of warm breath. He didn’t pull away, his hand brushed hers, caressing her fingers. Encouraged by his sweet response, she grew bolder on the second pass. With a sweep of her tongue, she tasted the tart hint of apple on his lips.

“Christy….” he whispered. “What are you doing?”

Clasping her hands around his neck, she drew him near. For a fleeting moment, her mouth pressed to his, and she felt him relax. Her excitement built as she glided her knee between his. The tight denim of his jeans did little to mask the hard rise brushing her thigh. The instant reaction to her touch was like a match set to straw.

Tensing, he pulled away. “We should stop.”

Embarrassed, she fought back a wave of devastation. “I’m so sorry. I thought I sensed something between us.”

“You did.” The expression on his face was flustered and his voice hoarse.

“Why stop? Please don’t say you still think of me as a kid. You of all people should know what it’s like to grow up too fast. Is it me? Maybe I’m not your type?”

“That’s not it.” He moved toward the window and stared out. “You’re a beautiful woman. I love what I see.”

Joining him at the window, she watched the snow flurries swirl. She waited in silence for Mitchell to speak, as long moments passed.

He glanced sideways at her. “I can’t treat you casually. You deserve better. There’s no way I could kiss you a second longer and still be able to stop. I don’t trust myself. We just met and this feels too good, too comfortable.”

She reached for his hand, but he drew it away and thrust it inside a pocket. “I agree, but why do you need to stop? We’re both consenting adults. I want you to know, this is not my usual behavior.”

In a heartbeat, he appeared to collapse into someone smaller, more fragile. Even his voice softened. “There are things about me that make me different in a way that would be difficult to accept.”

Inching closer, her arm brushed his. “Mitchell, you can tell me anything. I’ll listen with an open mind.”

His reflection on the dark pane looked somber. “I can’t tell you because it’s not my secret to share.”

She battled the desire to place a hand on his shoulder and comfort him. “Can you share any of the secret?”

“I shouldn’t. The responsibility of knowing would be unfair to you. After what you’ve been through, you deserve something uncomplicated and normal. You’re way too young to get pulled into the stuff I’m carrying around.”

“Have you talked to anyone about this?”

“Gee is the closest thing Los Lobos has got to a confession box. Even he can only take so much. One day, I tried to tell him about Robert Meadows—”

“Who is Robert Meadows?”

“His name on the MMA circuit is ‘Slam Cyclone.’ You heard about it. He’s the man I made into a quadriplegic. I didn’t know he was married with two young daughters. To be honest, I didn’t care. Until I hurt him so bad he’ll never make love to his wife again or hold his children in his arms. I did that to him. The worst part is I can’t think of a justifiable argument why. It certainly didn’t make me proud. Tex split with the purse, so there was no profit. Every day I imagine Robert in his bed, hating me. For reasons I won’t explain, I healed from a car accident that should have killed me or, at the least, left me in the same condition as Robert. Justice might have been served. Instead, I healed. I’ll be back to one hundred percent in no time. I’m almost ashamed of it.”

She leaned against the wall and felt the chill of the storm leak through. “Would you say the car accident might have been a self-inflicted punishment for what happened to Robert?”

“Maybe.”

“Have you considered your miraculous healing might be a gift? Maybe you’re strong and whole because you’re not finished doing good deeds?”

He looked away. “Or bad. It’s ironic telling you this. I’m built to fight. It came easy to me. Four years ago, what I did in the alleyway might be the purest thing I ever committed to in my life. Those men were hurting a kid and needed to be stopped. I felt no conflict in my heart or mind. The cage is a different story. Robert was just a guy like me but with more to lose.”

She reached for his hand, and unlike earlier, he didn’t recoil. “I don’t often get credit for being able to cope with reality as well as I do. If you have something going on in your life that makes you feel alone or unable to share your true self, I am exactly the right person to talk to.”

He looked into Christy’s soft hazel eyes. Had any angel in heaven ever looked so compassionate? In so many ways, they were alike. He’d seen the world, and she’d seen the world’s shadow. They were both too young to be so brittle. She appeared to have survived her hell with her heart wide open. Something he could only dream of. Even more enviable, she possessed wisdom beyond her years, wrapped in peaches-and-cream freshness. His scars showed on his body and attitude.

“Mitchell, you’re not saying anything. Did I put you on the spot?”

“I’m thinking.” A weird jittery sensation overtook him. His Wolf instincts shouted
She’s perfect for you!
He wanted to hold her and nuzzle his face against her hair. Take her to his bed. Laugh with her, talk with her. Know she would be at his side, smiling when he woke in the morning. The sensations were new. Since he’d been orphaned, he’d persuaded himself “loner” was his natural state. Looking at her, he knew something inside shifted.

“May I give you a compliment?” With a bashful smile, she glanced down. “When I turned fifteen, I took Tae Kwon Do classes. My therapists thought learning some form of self-defense would be a good exercise in personal boundaries and help build my physical confidence. Let’s just say I found it challenging. After struggling for months to improve the tiniest bit, I could appreciate your speed, skill, and weird ability to read your opponent’s mind. You’re supernatural.”

She gave him
that
look. As if he were some great prize. God, he wished he weren’t so scared to fall off the edge of the pedestal. At this stage of his non-career, it wouldn’t be too far a drop. Poor Christy. He’d confessed one of his guiltiest acts, and she still thought him special. “I’m different in a way that most people wouldn’t understand or like.”

Grasping his hand, she then brought his fingers to her lips and gave them a gentle kiss. “Why do you look so worried? You don’t want to talk about this, do you? Do you think you have to be perfect all the time just because another part of your life went sour? I don’t think so.”

Closing his eyes, he allowed his thoughts to float for a moment on the sound of her voice. She touched his heart in a strange way that soothed as much as excited. He wanted to believe she could accept him. With his chest tight, it got hard to breath. Unannounced, the Wolf in him desired a life mate and chose her. He tried to tamp the feelings down, but all his senses focused on Christy. To his despair, every detail felt right, even her scent. A fact his inner Wolf found confusing. The attraction to her connected with the force of a roundhouse punch. Things were moving too fast between them. For a second, he almost convinced himself it might be okay to tell her everything.

“You can trust me, Mitchell. I’d never judge you.”

He wanted to shout,
I’m a goddamned Wolf!
But the communal secret could not be revealed. No one in the Black Hills pack would forgive him for deliberate exposure. If trouble came of it, Christy might inadvertently come to the Enforcer’s attention. A violent fate she didn’t deserve. Inviting this sweet-tempered woman into his bed only to face yet more personal danger and an uncertain future would be cruel.

Just as he worked up the nerve to march downstairs and beg Gee to sleep on his couch, a tree branch near his window became so laden with snow it cracked
with a brutal snap. The limb fell to the ground with thundering
swoosh
. A moment later, the television screen flickered with gray flecks and emitted loud burst of static. The show disappeared, and a “service disruption” banner appeared.

Feeling agitated, he picked up the remote then clicked off the television. “Whoops. Lost signal. No more
Doctor Who
.”

She shivered. “It’s damn cold leaning against this wall.”

“Sorry.” He motioned for her to follow. In a gallant gesture, he reached for a quilt and wrapped it around her shoulders.

Standing near the bed, she clutched the quilt. “It’s much warmer over here.”

He sat on the mattress and patted a spot beside him. “Have a seat.”

“I thought you didn’t want me sitting on your bed.”

“I lied.” A tense laugh burst free of him.

With a sunny smile, she laughed, too. “Good. I just finished scolding myself for coming on too strong and making you uncomfortable.”

“No need.” Beneath the rumpled quilt, she looked lost. He folded the edge down so he could better see her face. “What shall we do now? Do you play cards?”

“I don’t know any cards games.”

“Tex taught me lots of card games to play on the road. Come to think of it, he cheated. Never mind.”

Bundling the quilt closer, she swayed. “I don’t need to be entertained.”

She looked down, and a wing of glossy hair fell over her eye. He swept it aside.

“Why did you come to see me today? This meeting might have happened anytime in the past four years, or years in the future. Why today?”

Drawing a tense breath. “Wow, my turn in the hot seat.”

“You don’t have to answer.”

“But I want to. It’s important. I didn’t contact you sooner because Leonora discouraged it. Besides you were traveling the world as Wail’n Waya with plenty of responsibilities and distractions….”

Distractions
was the operative word. In his first days on the road, a beautiful blonde materialized at his hotel room door. Funny and sexy as hell, she tumbled effortlessly into his bed. They spent an amazing three-day weekend together, fulfilling every one of his as yet unjaded fantasies. She fawned over him and never left his side. He thought he’d fallen in love. But just as he braced to ask if she’d be willing to travel the circuit with him, he’d walked in on Tex counting a stack of hundred dollar bills into her open palm. She didn’t even look surprised when he entered the room. Her only explanation? A quick peck on the cheek and a halfhearted, “I’m sorry. I thought you knew.”

“I turned eighteen in December,” Christy continued. “I’m an adult now. I didn’t want to cause trouble. I figured I should contact you now before you did a bigger disappearing act and dropped off the map.”

“I think I already know, but how did you find me?”

The line of her lips tensed. “I’d rather not say.”

“I understand.”

Shadows obscured her features. Only her eyes glistened in the dark. “I came here today because I needed to see you…again.”