Uncle John's Bathroom Reader Shoots and Scores (24 page)

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The Jets were a charter member of the WHA when it was organized as a rival to the NHL in 1972. NHL superstar Bobby Hull was drawn to the Jets and the new league by a huge, league-shared signing bonus and the top salary in the sport, giving the new circuit instantaneous credibility. Hull did the expected, topping the 50-goal mark in his first two WHA seasons, even while toiling with competent but below-star-level linemates.

The escalation of big-league teams from six to 28 in five years had diluted the player pool, a factor that combined with the
positive exposure of the 1972 series to force pro teams to consider Europe as a potential source of players. While NHL recruitment of Scandinavians started slowly due to the old notion that Europeans couldn't handle physical play, the WHA—led by Winnipeg—moved quickly to acquire Swedish and Finnish players.

ORTHOPEDIC SURGEON DISCOVERS THE SHOE

Dr. Gerry Wilson, a member of the Jets' executive, was a first-rate Montreal Canadiens prospect in the 1950s until chronic knee problems at the junior level led him to a new career as an orthopedic surgeon. During studies abroad, he watched the Swedish Elite Division and was impressed by the high caliber of players. Wilson became friends with young forward Anders Hedberg and suggested to the Jets that they consider recruiting Swedish players. In 1974, the Jets signed goalie Curt Larsson, defenceman Lars-Erik Sjoberg—known universally as “The Shoe”—forwards Hedberg and Ulf Nilsson from Sweden; and defenceman Hexi Riihiranta and center Veli-Pekka Ketola from Finland. When the 1974–75 season opened, one of pro hockey's most exciting teams hit the ice.

SCANDINAVIAN INVASION

“At the 1974 World Championship in Finland, the Shoe, Anders Hedberg and I talked about moving to Canada or the U.S. to play hockey,” Ulf Nilsson said. “We all had contract offers from NHL clubs: Shoe from Minnesota, Anders with the Maple Leafs and me with Buffalo. But Shoe suggested that if we all went to one team, maybe we could influence that team to play our style of hockey. Winnipeg was the place and although signing with the Jets cost us some money over the long haul, it was the right move.”

Because Hull was the Jet “franchise,” the team would use the style he suggested. But when he played his first training camp shift with Hedberg and Nilsson, the Golden Jet knew the way to go. “When I saw the skill and intelligence they had on the ice, I volunteered to play their style and forget about mine,” Hull said. “With Anders and Ulfie up front and the Shoe on the back end—their skill plus Lars-Erik's great mind about the game and his ability to quarterback the attack—we had a high old time for four seasons.”

DON CHERRY JUST CALLS IT “THE ICE CAPADES”

The Jets played in circles, not in pro hockey's traditional straight lines, marking the first serious North American use of the “flow-and-motion” style. The three forwards, with 573 goals and 1,377 points in four seasons, were a joy to behold. Harry Neale coached against the Jets with two WHA teams, and after a stint in the NHL became a TV analyst for
Hockey Night in Canada
.

“In our big-league hockey, the neutral zone between the blue lines was just an area you had skate though to get to your attacking zone,” Neale said. “But the Europeans used it to set up their attack. The Jets with Hull and the Swedes were the first North American team to adopt that style. They'd come into the neutral zone three abreast but by the time they hit your blue line, they'd be in different lanes than where they started. Their crossovers produced all sorts of offensive chances because the defences had problems figuring out who was covering which Jet.”

OR, JUST CALL ON NO. 99…

Sather joined the WHA Oilers as a player in 1976–77 and was named playing coach halfway through the season. When the Oilers entered the NHL for 1979–80, Sather had accumulated the roles of club president, GM and head coach, making it pretty darn easy to strive for whatever kind of team he wanted. “I modelled our team after the WHA Jets, especially the way they had that little Sjoberg as a big part of their attack,” Sather said. “He would move behind the play by the Hull line and somewhere on the rush, the puck often would go back to him and he would move it to an open man. He was the first defenceman to truly play the same role as the great midfielders in soccer, the guys who choreographed the attack.”

Of course, the Oilers entered the NHL with a head start because they brought Wayne Gretzky with them…and all he did was become the highest scorer in NHL history. But Sather also drafted forwards Mark Messier, Glenn Anderson, and Jari Kurri and fleet defenceman Paul Coffey, and quickly the gifted youngsters matured into the finest offensive team ever. Maybe the team names should have been reversed: The Oilers' speed made them the “jets” of hockey while the Jets' offshore work found them high-grade hockey “oil.”

A few memorable moments when the greatest sport in the world made its way to TV-land. (Warning: Spoilers!)

N
EVER LOVE A GOALIE” (
Cheers
, 1987)

In 1987 a new character appeared on
Cheers
: Eddie LeBec, native of Quebec—and the new goalie for the Boston Bruins. (
Cheers
was set in Boston.) Barmaid Carla (who says that she's always had a thing for “goalies and catchers—guys who wear masks”) is smitten. The two start seeing each other, but when the Bruins start losing, Eddie decides Carla is a jinx. They eventually solve the problem by breaking up…before every game and then getting back together afterward. Eddie and Carla eventually get married, and the goalie remained a character on
Cheers
, if largely unseen, for the next three seasons. Why did he finally leave? The actor who portrayed him, Jay Thomas, says he was fired because he made a disparaging remark about Rhea Perlman, who played Carla, on a radio show. That may be true: producers killed off Eddie Lebec in a 1989 episode…by having him run over by a Zamboni machine.

“THE HOCKEY SHOW” (
The Nanny
, 1996)

Fran (Fran Drescher) starts dating Mike LaVoe (Anthony Addabbo), who plays for the New York Rangers and turns out to be extremely superstitious. (He tells Fran, for example, that when the team is on a winning streak, he doesn't change his underwear.) They go to a game, the Rangers lose, and LaVoe tells Fran it's her fault because she wore red shoes to the game. Then Fran becomes known all over New York as a Rangers jinx. She threatens to wear the shoes again unless LaVoe publicly apologizes. He does, the Rangers win, and another episode of The Nanny comes to a merciful end. Bonus: Legendary former Rangers' Ron Greschner (defenceman, 1974–90) and John Davidson (goalie, 1975–83) both appeared in the episode as themselves.

“STANLEY'S CUP” (
South Park
, 2006)

(Warning:
South Park
–levels of politically incorrect irreverence ahead.) Stan's bike is towed because he has too many unpaid parking
tickets, and to get the bike back, he has to perform community service—in the form of coaching a pee-wee hockey team. He finds out that one of the kids on his team has cancer. The kid ends up in the hospital, and in a parody of hundreds of sports movies, the kid asks Stan to win the big game for him. The big game turns out to be a Stanley Cup Finals game against the Detroit Red Wings. (The details are complicated.) The Red Wings pummel the kids, and win the game 32–2, and the kid with cancer dies. The End. (P.S. No actual kids were harmed in the making of this program. We hope.)

“MAC'S BIG BREAK” (
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
)

In this 2010 episode, Mac (Rob McElhenney) and Charlie (Charlie Kelly) call a Philadelphia radio show to answer a Flyers trivia question. They're asked “Which player holds the team's record for goals in one season?” Mac guesses, “Reggie Leach?”—and he's right. He wins a chance to take a shot at an open net at a Flyers game. If he makes the shot, he gets to go hang out with the radio show deejays and pro athletes. When the big day comes, they go to the game (the footage is from an actual Flyers game), and the crowd goes bananas when Mac makes the shot. Then he wakes up: Mac had actually slipped as soon as he stepped onto the ice, fell on his face, and was knocked unconscious. He made the shot in his dreams only. Later, he finds out that Charlie took the shot in his place—and missed “by a mile.”

EXTRAS

A few more hockey-inspired television shows:

• “Lisa on Ice” (
The Simpsons
, 1994): Lisa becomes a star goalie for a pee wee team…that faces off against Bart's team.

• “The Face Painter” (
Seinfeld
, 1995): Elaine dates a guy who is an obsessive New Jersey Devils fan and goes to games with his face painted in Devils colors. Elaine doesn't approve.

• “Black” (
Rescue Me
, 2010): The episode features the characters playing in the annual hockey game between New York City's fire and police departments. (That game actually happens.) Special guest on the show: One of the greatest to ever play the game, NHL Hall of Famer Phil Esposito. He plays hockey-playing fire chief “Izzy” and has actually appeared on the show several times.

An inside look at a few of hockey's most infamous—and hilarious—“COACH NOT HAPPY!” moments.

C
OACH:
Jim Playfair, of the Abbotsford (British Columbia) Heat of the American Hockey League

BUILDUP:
During a 2010 game, a Heat player was ejected for committing an “intent to injure” penalty. Playfair did not like the call, and he “told” the ref about it, earning himself an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty.

BOOM!
Playfair responded to being penalized by grabbing a stick from one of his players, standing up on his bench, and smashing the stick to pieces against the boards. Then he threw what was left of the stick onto the ice. And then he did it again with another player's stick. As one announcer remarked, “He has lost his mind!” Playfair was promptly ejected.

AFTERMATH:
The league penalize Playfair with a fine, but the coach said of the incident, “I'm not going to apologize for it. It's part of the emotional level you have to get to be a professional.”

COACH:
Brent Sapergia, of the Southern Professional Hockey League's brand-new team, the Louisiana IceGators

BUILDUP:
According to Sapergia, during a 2009 game, refs were letting the opposing team get away with dirty plays, thereby endangering his players.

BOOM!
With the game still in the first period, Sapergia lost it. First he threw a towel onto the ice. Then he threw a Gatorade cooler. Then he threw a stick. Then another stick. Then whole bunches of sticks. Then just about anything he could get his hands on. By the time he was done, sticks, water bottles, hats, gloves, rolls of tape, even the bench's two medical kits littered the ice's surface. Sapergia was, of course, ejected.

AFTERMATH:
Being ejected was nothing new to Sapergia; it was actually the second night in a row he'd been kicked out of a game. And that made the league very unhappy. Sapergia
was not just suspended—he was banned from coaching in the SPHL ever again.

COACH:
Greg Pankewicz, assistant coach of the Central Hockey League's Colorado Eagles

BUILDUP:
During a 2011 game, one of the refs attempted to stop a fight from breaking out—by tackling the Eagles player involved.

BOOM!
Pankewicz became so enraged that he took off his suit coat and threw it onto the ice. The he took off his tie and threw it on the ice. Then he took off his sports shirt, shoes, and undershirt. By this time, the hometown fans were going berserk, and the shoeless, shirtless Pankewicz was pacing back and forth on top of the bench screaming at the refs. He was ejected.

AFTERMATH:
Pankewicz was suspended for the remaining 14 games of the 2010–11 season. (He never publicly apologized for his rinkside striptease.)

COACH:
John Tortorella, of the New York Rangers

BUILDUP:
The Rangers were up 3 games to 1 in the 2009 quarter-finals against the Washington Capitals, and were set to close the series out in Game 5, but by the second period, they were down 4–0. And the game was in Washington, so the fans were really letting the Rangers bench have it. During the third period, one even dumped a beer over the glass—right on Tortorella's head.

BOOM!
Tortorella stood up on the bench and hurled a water bottle over the glass and at the fan…except he missed and hit a woman behind the guy. Then Tortorella grabbed a hockey stick and jabbed it through a gap in the glass, trying to spear the guy. The game was interrupted for several minutes before order was restored.

AFTERMATH:
The fan was ejected—but maybe he shouldn't have been. After viewing the game videotape, the league discovered that
before
the fan had dumped the beer on Tortorella, the coach had pushed the nose of a water bottle through a gap in the glass and squirted the guy. As for throwing the water bottle and trying to spear the fan afterward: major no-nos. Tortorella was suspended for Game 6. (The Rangers lost that game—and the next one too.)

Mikko Jokela's first trip to the NHL lasted a little more than 12 hours, but it left him with a story he'll be able to tell for a lifetime, not to mention a pair of someone else's underwear.