V-Day: (M-Day #4) (17 page)

“
Riley!
”
I screamed, sitting straight up. The nightmare still held me in its grip, and my heart thundered against my ribcage. Early morning light danced merrily across the wall in the spacious bedroom, taunting me with the normalcy of it all.

“
I
’
m right here,
”
his muffled voice responded from beside me. I glanced over to see him lying face down on the bed, right next to me
…
naked. My gaze snagged on the muscular perfection of his ass. Extra saliva pooled in my mouth.

“
What happened?
”
Him being infected must have been part of my nightmare. I suddenly felt buoyant with hope.
Everything is going to be okay.
Him turning into an I-Man was all in my head.
Thank God.

“
You passed out in the shower. I cleaned you up and packed your leg. It
’
s already looking better. You
’
ve been sleeping for the past few hours.
”
He didn
’
t make a move to roll over or get up. His ass flexed as he rolled his hips forward slightly. I fought the urge to grab it
…
or bite it.

“
What did you pack my leg with?
”
I didn
’
t care all that much, figuring he
’
d found something good to use in the first aid kit. I was merely trying to distract myself from his delectable ass.

“
Spider webs.
”

“
What?
”

“
It
’
s survival 101. I
’
m surprised you weren
’
t taught such things at your little secret government agency.
”

“
We were taught to survive, but not by using spider webs.
”
I had the sudden urge to tear off the bandage and dig out the spider webs. Rationally I knew there was no spider and just the web but it still skeeved me out. I reached under the sheets and was stopped short when Riley grabbed my wrist.

“
Leave it alone.
”
He hadn
’
t even bothered to look at me, he
’
d just known.
He always knows.
Even after all our time apart, he still knew me like the back of his hand. There was no missing the tension between us though, and I wasn
’
t talking about sexual
…
just plain old awkwardness. There used to be a certain level of comfort, and banter between us. There was none of that between us now.

I flexed my leg and had to admit that it did feel a tiny bit better already.
“
Fine.
”

Sweat trickled down my spine, my cheeks flushing as the temperature in the room seemed to suddenly skyrocket. I flung the sheets off of me, realizing I was wearing a t-shirt and nothing else.
A thin layer of fabric is the only thing between Riley and me.
Lust-laden thoughts caused my skin to ache with the need for him to touch me.
Awkwardness be damned.
“
Riley,
”
I purred.

He rolled onto his back, his rock hard cock snagging all of my attention. It lay against his stomach pulsing and slick with pre-come. I dragged my gaze up his body, tracing the lines of his six pack abs up to his sculpted pectoral muscles and finally up to the perfection that was his face. He was so familiar to me and yet when I met his eyes, the wrongness of the color threw me. I bit my lower lip to keep from gasping.
Not all in my head. Not just part of a nightmare. Real. All real.

“
Don
’
t be afraid of me, Viv. I could never hurt you. Never.
”

I wanted to believe him, of course I did but
…
I looked down at the flower comforter on the bed, the blue and purple explosion of color made me want to tear it apart. It seemed I was developing an aversion to anything bright and cheery.
I still like pink though
…
maybe.
“
So you
’
ve admitted to yourself that you
’
re infected?
”
How could he when I kept trying to deny it myself?

“
Maybe, but I
’
m not an I-Man. I know you can tell the difference.
”

A snarling face loomed over me, hands ripping at my clothes. Ice blue eyes flashed with lust. I tried to fight but my body was too heavy, unresponsive to the commands my brain was attempting to give it.

Pain lanced through my core as I blinked the off-white tub into focus.
No.
Specs of blood fanned across the plastic molding, a pattern maybe? Grunts met my ears.

The fact that Riley hadn
’
t forced himself on me and was having a normal conversation made his point completely. I hadn
’
t spent much time with Ty and Zee, or the rest of them, but I did know that I hadn
’
t even suspected my brothers of being infected before they told me. Maybe they
’
d overreacted when they
’
d seen Riley, they did have a history of being overprotective of me.

Riley seemed lucid, and not overly aggressive. Sure, he
’
d grabbed me and ran, but my brothers had tried to shoot him in the head. But then again, the I-Men that had been pets for Tasha and her gang seemed mostly normal as well.
I don
’
t know what to believe.
Maybe there were a lot more grey areas with the virus than I knew. I
’
d witnessed first-hand that I-Men weren
’
t the only ones to be wary of out there. Tasha
’
s little group had showed me that cruelty could come in all forms and all genders in this new fucked up world. So why couldn
’
t kindness? Practically anything was plausible, which made sussing out the truth more difficult.

“
Evo, Max, and Nyx are all infected.
”
I swiped at beads of sweat on my forehead.
“
I didn
’
t know women could be infected too until I found out about them.
”
I ran my hand over my shorter hair. It was the first time it
’
d been natural in a long time. It felt liberating somehow. Riley must have taken out my extensions like I wanted while I was sleeping.
He always knows what I need when I need it, even after all this time.
I was impressed that he
’
d managed. It was another thing that highlighted the fact that he wasn
’
t an I-Man, and merely infected like my brothers. Although I wasn
’
t exactly sure what all that meant either.

“
It
’
s different for all of them
—
the infection
—
the symptoms. Maybe it is for me too.
”

I nibbled on my lip, trying not to be distracted by Riley
’
s gloriously naked form.
What if I
’
m infected now too? What if one of the symptoms is the fact that I can
’
t stop thinking about sex?
Images of me jumping on top of Riley were completely taking over my thought process. Nothing else seemed to matter. I was raped by an I-Man before the I-Monster bit me, which would probably mean if I had managed to get infected at least I wouldn
’
t be craving flesh
…
to eat.

“
Stop looking at me like that, Viv. I don
’
t have as much restraint as you might think I do.
”

“
I can
’
t seem to help myself.
”
Or maybe I
’
m using the possibility of an infection as an excuse for sex with Riley? Maybe I don
’
t want to admit that it
’
s just me, and my hormones alone, sprung by my ex-boyfriend.
I
’
d never had the kind of chemistry with anyone but him. Lord knows I
’
d tried getting over him by getting under other men. No one had ever compared to Riley. He
’
d burned himself into my heart and soul when we
’
d just been kids. He was irreplaceable. It was him, or no one.

Sitting up, Riley cupped my face, his jaw muscles rippling as he ground his teeth together in agitation.
“
You going to tell me who
…
or
what
raped you?
”
His fingers curled, pressing into my cheek.

It was like an ice water had been poured over my head. I jerked away, shrinking into myself, averting my eyes.
“
I don
’
t want to talk about it.
”
I hated that Riley somehow knew.
Wait. How does he know?
“
H
—
how
—
how did you know?
”

“
You
’
ve been acting different, not like yourself. It
’
s like you lost your fight, between that and the bruises on your inner thighs
…
They
’
re faded but I could still see them. I didn
’
t know for sure, but
…”

I
’
d just told him. Oldest trick in the book.
“
Fine. I was raped. Now you know for sure. There
’
s not much else to say.
”
I ignored the fact that he
’
d been studying my naked body while I was unconscious; it left me feeling embarrassed and vulnerable. Two feelings I despised.

“
Vivienne.
”
The way he said my name both chastised and warned me that he wasn
’
t going to let it go.

“
No. I don
’
t want to talk about it. Any of it.
”
My chest heaved as I sucked in ragged breaths.
“
We
’
re not kids anymore, Riley. Shit got real when the Men-V turned our world into some kind of post-apocalyptic nightmare. There
’
s no time for a pity party for me or anyone else. There
’
s no time for anything.
”

“
There
’
s always ti
—”

Tick-tock-tick-tock
…
It was if the imaginary clock had just started up again in my head even though I knew the sands of time had never stopped running. I was on a deadline, and no matter how much I wanted to ignore or delay it, I knew I didn
’
t have a choice.
“
No! You need to listen to me. There is literally no time left. I didn
’
t even get a chance to tell the others but maybe if I tell you then it
’
ll force you to make some different decisions. You can
’
t just
—”

“
Tell me about the rape, and then we
’
ll talk about anything you want.
”

“
No, I don
’
t want to,
”
I croaked. I didn
’
t want to talk about how weak it made me feel to know that someone had been able to use my body without my permission. I didn
’
t want to acknowledge that it happened because it meant that I wasn
’
t as strong as I always thought I was. And I most certainly didn
’
t want to admit that ever since it
’
d happened I hadn
’
t felt like myself, like I
’
d become this confused, spineless version of who I used to be. The Vi before I was raped wouldn
’
t have made any of the bad choices post-victim Vi had. I didn
’
t want to admit that the rape had affected me whether or not I wanted it to
—
whether or not I pushed all the feeling down and locked them away. I
’
d been drifting
—
completely drifting in an endless sea of confusion.

“
A rape is very personal, Riley. You should never try to force someone to talk about it if they don
’
t want to.
”

“
Fuck!
”
He slammed his fist into the headboard, splintering the wood.
“
I know it
’
s fucking personal. I know that. But it
’
s you. And me.
”
His gaze bore into mine, pleading.
“
It
’
s us.
”
He lifted his hand to touch me but let it fall before he made contact.
“
I never stopped wanting you
—
loving you. Never. And then after M-Day, you became my obsession in a different way. I had to find you. I just had to.
”

My entire body locked up, my heart threatening to explode.
“
No. You don
’
t get to tell me this now.
”
Not when he was infected and not when I
’
d caused the end of the world as we knew it. It was too late
—
it was all too late. He could love me all he wanted but he needed to keep it to himself. Sex was one thing. Love I couldn
’
t deal with
…
not again.

“
There are no more rules or etiquette. The apocalypse changes everything.
”

He was right. There weren
’
t rules or social norms since there technically wasn
’
t a society anymore. Riley could say whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. And he probably should since there was no telling if either of us would live to see another day. I was holding on to notions that had no place in this new harsher world.