Waiting for you (Part 1) (13 page)

“Davey, hey it’s me.”

“Hi sweetheart. You running late?”

“No, I’m sorry brother, but I need to leave you hanging for the rest of the week. Hayden is coming back Sunday and I need some time to clear my head. I promise I will make it up to you”

“You’re with Liam aren’t you?”

Knowing that he knew, she decided that she couldn’t hide this forever.

“Yes Davey, I am. Keep it on the down low would you please. Tell Dad anything but that.”

“I got it Cammy, no worries. Call him though, he’s worried about you.”

“Ok, I will. Love you, thank you Davey.”

“Cammy?”

“Yes?”

“Make the right choice for you ok?”

“What do you mean? What do you think I should do?”

“I don’t know, that’s your call sis. Hayden really fucked up, but he loves you, but Liam loves you too and I know he would never do something like that to you. Just make the right choice for you, no matter what anyone says ok?”

“I will.”

Hanging up the phone and deciding to call her Dad later, Cammy set out of the bedroom to find Liam. He wasn’t in the kitchen or the great room. She looked in the spare rooms and office, then noticed down the end of the hallway, a door was open, a door that was always locked before. She had figured this room was locked for all of his personal stuff when he was away. In her bare feet and as quietly as possible, she peered into the door.

“Come on in Cammy, I was just going to start my routine. Care to join?”

The room was a cool blue tint, there were large pillows of all colors on the floor and an area with a mat on it. There were candles lit and it smelled of patchouli, like his room. That was incense burning in the table in the corner of this room. The curtains were drawn half way and sounds of rain and waterfall were playing very low in the background. He was wearing loose fitting black pants, no shoes and no shirt, just all skin, abs and muscles. Cammy’s eyes were wide marveling at how fit and beautiful this man was.

Taking Liam’s outstretched hand, she followed him and sat on the mat beside him.

“Just follow my lead”

He then closed his eyes and put his hands in a prayer type position, which Cammy followed. Liam breathed in and out, full, deep breaths, stretching his hands f
rom side to side, kneeling his body down to the floor in front of him, then in an upright position again. He sat Indian style, like he always did on the kitchen island. After a series of meditation and breathing, he started to twist himself into various positions of yoga, even balancing his weight on his hands, which Cammy was amazed by. They stretched, Cammy doing the best she could, then cooled down with more breaths, and finally repeating Namaste when they were done.

“Good job Cammy, feel
s wonderful doesn’t it?”

Liam blew out the candles and switched off the stereo.

“Very different, never done it before. Is this how you are in such good shape?”

Laughing a little then smiling he answered
“Yes, that and running. You like what you see on this old man?”

“Pssh, you aren’
t old Liam. You may have a few years on me, but you look amazing, you can run circles around me.”

“I can. These techniques and
exercises teach you control and make your thoughts so clear. I will teach you. It’s so spiritual too, and you will feel so good about yourself. You can learn control as well.”

“Do you always have to be in control Liam?”

“Yes Cammy I do. I wouldn’t be where I am today of I didn’t have control. It’s the only way I get what I want, pursue my goals, the only way I can achieve success.”

Cammy wasn’t sure if she liked the fact that he needed so much control. He did let go of some control last night in the bedroom. She asked him to and he did it. Maybe he was for real and wanted to give her everything, please her, all she had to do was ask, just like he said.

“Let’s eat something, then spend the day in, we don’t have that much time left, tomorrow will come quick.”

“I know.”

“Unless you are tired of me hiding you away, we can go out, but there will be photographers.”

“No, this is where I want to be.”
Cammy said in a stern voice.

“
Point taken. Meet me in the kitchen, I will be right there. I will have to spend some time today on the phone, I’m sorry, I have people to do these things, but I have to take care of some things myself.”

“It’s ok Liam, at the rate I am going, my Dad and brother will fire me soon for not being there.”

“If you were with me, you wouldn’t ever have to work, just be here for me.”

“Too soon Liam, but I hear you.”

“I promise you that, so you know Cammy.”

Heading in one direction for the kitchen and Liam in another, Cammy
was again trying to digest what Liam had just said. She walked out of the kitchen and back to the bedroom and opened her purse. Standing in front of her open purse, Cammy twirled the rings on her finger, staring at them intently. Pulling them off and tossing them into the open purse, she knew that she didn’t want them on until she had seen Hayden and a decision had been made. Quickly she snapped her purse closed and turned around for the kitchen where Liam would be.

“You ok sweetheart?”

Liam was already in the kitchen, on the phone, ordering food from the deli. He had an assortment of vitamins and a concoction of sorts that was an army green color in the blender and was pouring it into two glasses.

“I’m fine. I can cook Liam. Do you need me to teach you?”

“I would love that but I also know how to cook, very well in fact. I order out when I am here for a few days at a time, it makes it easier, but when I am home, I eat healthy, cook for myself, but I would like to see your skills someday.”

“It’s a deal then. I’m not drinking that!”

Cammy was pushing away the green mess that Liam had poured into a glass and was presenting to her.

“It’s wheatgrass honey. You will like it. Please?” Liam had his bottom lip drawn down into a cute little frown.

“With a face like that who could resist?”

Cammy grabbed the drink and chugged it down. It wasn’t as bad as it looked.

“I ordered a bunch of stuff, wasn’t sure what you would like.”

“Thank you.”

Night came fast and morning was even faster for Cammy and Liam. The alarm had been set so that they could have a couple of hours before he left together.

“I will miss you Cammy, I am so glad that you stayed with me. I hope you have been happy here.”

“I have been. I still am. Thank you.”

“For what my sweetheart?”

“For keeping the demons at bay for a couple of days, for some clarity, for being you and I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?”

“Sorry I was such a shit to you before. I never knew you were actually such a genuine human being Liam.”

“So you like me now?”

“You know I do.”

“You have a big decision to make Cammy. I don’t want to cloud your head, so I won’t call. You know how to reach me, and if you need me I will be there, no matter what you choose to do.”

“Thank you Liam, I don’t know what to say to that.”

He gazed at her so lovingly. He could be such a prick, an egomaniac, but he had a heart that he was trying so hard to give to Cammy, a life he so desperately wanted to share with her, all he was waiting for was the sound of her lips saying yes and he
r arms reaching out to his.

“Say nothing until you know what you want for sure.”

“Ok.”

“But I want to leave you with this Cammy.”

“What?”

“You are the most beautiful, special woman I will ever know and you already know that I am in love with you, and I do promise that I will give you everything you need and want, everything Cammy, I can change your life, I can make you happy, and maybe you will fall for me someday too. Just say yes and I am yours.”

“Liam, I…”

“Say nothing until you are ready to. I will be waiting for you, always.”

Giving Cammy a kiss and breathing her in deep, he held her and twirled her around in his arms. Whispering in her ear.

“I am so happy you are here. I hope I don’t lose you.”

Whispering back into his ear and kissing his neck as Liam set her down “We don’t have much time Liam, make love to me one last time.”

Scooping her into his arms and onto the kitchen island, he made love to her again
. Cammy gave into her passion and lust she had for Liam yet again and felt that slow curling wave come over her as he skillfully played her like a violin with his hands and then crashed with him, the hard stone against her back, his breath on her skin, her nails in his back.

Then he was gone. It was time for her to go home and face Hayden.

                                          Promises

Saturday was a blur. Liam had gone and Cammy took the rest of the day at home to get herself ready for Hayden’s proposed return. She soaked her ravaged body in the tub for an hour, trying to relax and gather her thoughts and feelings about what had happened with her marriage, with Liam. Who did she want? Did Hayden even want her? Could she trust him?

“Namaste” Cammy repeated after she meditated on her living room floor.

Not knowing if she had even done it right, she figured that it couldn’t hurt to try and give herself some clarity like Liam said.

She slept like a rock that night, exhausted from emotions and stress. Sunday was here and he was coming. Cammy showered and dressed and pulled herself together for Hayden’s arrival, not knowing when that would be.  Waiting and wondering, she answered emails and texts that were long overdue and paid some of the bills that she could for the month. Hayden had left her with nothing, the savings had been drained and she had no access to Hayden’s trust account from his father.

The door jingled from the outside and Cammy knew that he was back. Getting up from the kitchen table and her pile of paper, she stood in the doorway and waited for Hayden to enter.

“Hey baby.”

“Hayden?”

He looked different. He still had his rocking body she could tell, but his face was scruffy, unkempt. Hayden had on a baseball hat that was covering his now long, bushy dark hair. He was dressed in jeans and a green tee that matched those beautiful green eyes that Cammy had always adored.

He hugged her tightly and she reciprocated. He felt like home to her in a sense. So familiar were those arms, the arms she always felt
that she belonged in, but wasn’t sure anymore.

“Can I come in?”

“It’s your house too Hayden.”

He walked in and went straight to the living room couch and sat down.

“I missed you so much Cammy.”

Cammy was mad already. What did he expect from her, a welcome home party? He had a lot to explain to her, he had fucked everything up. He had pushed her away and into Liam’s arms where she felt she might want to be.

“Hayden, I missed you too, but why, why did you do this to me?”

“I don’t know?”

“You don’t know? Hayden, you left me, left with alone, you didn’t call, you didn’t care, you were everything to me, what didn’t I do?”

“It wasn’t you Cams.”

“Then what was it? You hid drugs from me. I would have been there for you. I am your wife. You said you cheated on me, with whom? Why? You promised to love me forever. I gave you everything Hayden.”

Hayden was already crying and Cammy was breathing hard, tears streaming down her face.

“You did, you gave me everything, I fucked it all up. I hid the problems from you. I do, I will love you  forever. I just don’t know how to fix it, to stop feeling like this.”

“Like what?”

“Myself. I feel like a part of me is missing, like I need some time to find myself and then I can come back to you and be the man you need me to be.”

“You don’t make any sense Hayden. Who the fuck is she? I’m not stupid.”

He said nothing and sat in silence, his head down.

“Who is she Hayden?”

“Olivia.”

“What?”

“Olivia, Cammy, Olivia.”

“Where is she from Haden?”

“California. I met her at the office. She got me started on the stuff, not Sylvia, she was Sylvia’s friend. Cams, I am sorry baby, I lost it out there, I became someone else when I was there.”

“Yeah you did. Blow jobs from Sylvia, and I’m sure more than you say, now this chick, who else? What else?”

“That’s it. I just got caught up, it had nothing to do with you, nothing you did or didn’t do. That’s why I got out of the contract, I broke it off.”

“Do you love her Hayden?”

“What?”

“DO you love her? Be honest with me, you owe me that.”

“No I don’t, I just loved what she gave me, she had money, parties, shit we don’t have here.”

“Is that all that matters to you?”

“No Cammy, I know that now. It took therapy, rehab for me to figure that out.”

“Why did you set me up then, telling me you liked it and all of that shit? Who does that to their wife?”

“I wanted you to have a taste of what I did, wanted you to like it like I did, and wanted to have you cheat on me so I didn’t feel so bad about myself. It was wrong Cammy, so wrong, I can’t say I am sorry enough, I beg for your forgiveness. I miss you, I love you, I will do anything to have you back, anything, please baby.”

“When did you see Olivia last Hayden?”

“Why does it matter?”

“Because it does, just answer me.”

He paused, then let out a big sigh.

“In rehab, she paid for it, not my Dad. She wanted to make sure I was ok. She knows my heart is with you. She..”

Cammy threw her hands in the air, and then covered her face, trying to think for a moment before blowing up on him again.

“You had her come there and see you but not me? Why would you do that? We have insurance to pay for rehab, not her money. Did you sleep with her Hayden? Did you? Why, why, why did you do this?”

“There is no excuse for what I did Cammy. I Love you, til the ends of the earth remember? That still remains, since the first day I turned to you and saw you at St. Mary’s, you stole my heart, you took my breath away. I hate myself for what I have done to you, to us.”

“Me too. I don’t know what to say to you.”

“You have been with Liam Griffin haven’t you?”

She didn’t feel the need to lie, he just spilled out his trash, why shouldn’t she, he’s the one who put her into his bed in the first place.

“I have Hayden. I’m not sorry though.”

“What? Baby, what are you saying?”

“He picked up the pieces you left behind.”

“I understand. I don’t expect you to just let me back in.”

“I’m not. I need time Hayden, time to think.”

“I understand baby. Can I please stay with you in our house? This is our home, we made it together.”

“Are you done with this Olivia I don’t care to know her last name or anything about her person?”

“Yes I am. Are you done with Liam?”

“I don’t know Hayden.”

Hayden looked up at Cammy with the saddest eyes.
He looked shocked and embarrassed, like he couldn’t believe she had said that to him.

“Baby, don’t walk away from us, we might not happen again if you leave me now.”

“I wish you would have thought of that before all of this happened.”

“Do you still love me baby?”

Cammy did, but she wasn’t sure how she felt about Liam. Was it the same kind of love? Looking at Hayden’s hurt eyes made her feel like a horrible person. She had to be honest with Hayden.

“Hayden, I cried for days when you left, days that turned into weeks and months. I wanted to spend every waking moment with you since that day you turned around and smiled at me in school. I knew it was going to be you forever. I do love you, I do. I waited for you, I ached for you, I needed you. I wanted you so much, wanted you to walk through that door and sweep me off my feet with one look, like you always did. You hurt me so bad, I have been hurting so badly, not knowing what you were doing, if you would ever come back to me, what was the matter with me, why you had to go? Was my love not enough?”

“It’s always been enough. I promise that I will never, ever do anything to hurt you again Cammy Sage. With all that I have and all that I am, I promise you.”

Hayden leaps from the couch and wraps his arms around Cammy, crying into shoulder, into her hair. She smelled so good still, so sweet and beautiful Cammy was. Her soft skin, her beautiful blue eyes that he ha
d made red.

Standing back and looking into her eyes, she could tell that he meant every word he had just said
, but was he going to keep his word? Her body trembled, she felt overtaken with emotion.

“Oh Cammy, my baby. I want to come home, home to you, be your husband, be your man.”

“Hayden please stop.”

Hayden stopped talking and put his lips to Cammy’s. She expected him to pull away with a simple kiss, but he stayed against her, kissing her lips, waiting for her to invite him in. With hesitation she parted them and let him in. He felt so familiar, his smell still intoxicated her. She had just been with Liam the day before, but this was Hayden, her husband, the one she always wanted. With
one hand holding the nape of her neck and another touching her shoulder so gently, Hayden brought her to her knees, like always. Cammy gave in to him, missing his touch, his smell, his voice, all of him. Cammy knew that Hayden made love to her, wholly, but Liam fucked, it was good to her, and she liked that too.

“Cammy, I want you. You are mine, my baby, no one else’s.”

Pulling her by the hand and up the stairs to their bedroom and laying her down onto their bed, Hayden put his head into her chest and kissed her breasts through her clothes. Cammy’s hands were pulling off his baseball cap and in his thick, long hair, feeling it, so soft, so thick. She missed him. Liam was far away in her mind right now.

“Baby, you smell so good, you take my breath away, I want to taste you so bad.”

Hayden peeled off his clothes, revealing an even better body than he had months ago. He was leaner, and muscled. Cammy quivered at the site of her husband, his naked body. She helped him take off her clothes and he wasted no time in doing so.

The prickly scruff of Hayden’s face unraveled Cammy. She felt it on her stomach and on her thighs as she let him taste her as he wanted. Neither was thinking about where the other had been, they just knew that this is where they belonged right now.

“Can I? Do you want this baby? Do you want me?”

“I want you Hayden, I want you.” Cammy purred back at him.

Sliding over Cammy’s smooth body and back up to her face, Hayden kissed her with fury, letting her lick and taste herself on his lips.

“Oh God my Cammy” Hayden said as he entered her slowly.

“Hay, please, I need to have you now”

Cammy fisted his hair now and pulled him into her. They started a slow rhythm together, just as they always had, her hands upon him, feeling him, one hand on herself, feeling her own wetness and putting her fingers into his mouth then her own, Hayden kissing her neck, finding her hotspot, putting her in a euphoric state, biting her shoulders, cupping her breasts with his mouth. Feeling the heat rising up her spine and to her head Cammy knew she was near the edge so she put her hands onto Hayden’s shaft and said aloud “Come for me baby” knowing that was all she needed to say to get him there.
Hayden’s body tensed up and he held his breath, as always, then let it out when he came inside Cammy who furiously touched herself and came with him, shuddering inside, her legs quivering, her toes curling.

“Oh my baby, my beautiful baby. I missed you. I belong to you and only you. No one makes me feel the way you do. Cammy, Cammy, Cammy.”

“Oh Hayden, I missed you too.” Cammy said as she gave him a kiss on the check as he lay on top of her still.

No One had ever made her feel like Hayden did and she knew that. Liam made her come, he touched her heart, he was there for her, he cared for her, he loved her, like she loved Hayden, but she knew she didn’t love him like Hayden. But there was something about Liam that she didn’t want to let go either.

“I will always love you Cammy Sage. I promise you.”

Cammy
wasn’t sure if he meant it, or if he just didn’t know anything else but Cammy or have anyone else to run to. What was she going to do now?