Waiting for you (Part 1) (15 page)

“I guess I don’t and I’m not going to find out right now either am I?”

Fighting the urge to cry Cammy couldn’t hold it in any longer and started to sob and pound on Hayden’s chest with her firsts.

“Fucking asshole, why do you do this to me? I was going to take you back. Are you going back to her?”

“No, I’m not Cammy, please stop crying, it hurts me so much to see you cry.”

“Fuck you, fuck this Hayden!”

“Cammy! Stop! Please baby.”

“No Hayden, you stop. You act like I don’t know anything about you, like you don’t even know who you are, maybe you don’t, maybe I don’t. You stay here, figure yourself out, you stay in this house like I did and listen to the silence, sleep in our bed and feel no one by your side, be surrounded by all of the things that make this house a home, our home, and feel what I had to feel!”

Jumping off of Hayden’s lap Cammy ran upstairs to the bedroom and pulled a few bags from the closet and started filling them with her clothes and then her toiletries from the bathroom. Grabbing a couple of pairs of shoes and coming down the stairs with her arms full of her things, Cammy opened the front door and threw everything into her trunk of her car.

“Cammy, stop!”

Hayden ran to her but she brushed off his arm in the driveway and headed back into the house for her keys and purse.

“Cammy!” Hayden threw his arms around her and kept her still.

“Baby, I’m sorry.
Don’t leave me. I just needed some time, for us. Why can’t you understand? I need this.”

“Why can’t you understand the concept of being together Hayden and not needing something only for yourself? There are other people in this relationship, this marriage, like me.
I can’t depend on you, you aren’t even looking out for me, this is so fucked up I can’t handle it. You have pushed me away, I don’t know if I want to come back Hayden. I don’t know if I love you anymore.”

Hayden’s arms dropped from her waist and he looked down at the floor again. He let her walk out the door without saying a word. Hayden watched Cammy drive away from his sight.
Then he sat alone in the cold house, and cried.

Driving down her old street Cammy saw her Dad’s car and another in the driveway. It was probably his girlfriend she thought so she drove on, not wanting to bust into the house with her problems. She was an adult and needed to face everything that was happening as an adult. Passing the house she looked in the window of the kitchen that faced the street, she could see
Dean and his woman hugging. It warmed her heart if only for a minute. He had finally found someone to fill his void.

Woodward is full of hotels and when Cammy saw what looked like a decent one to her
, she pulled over and checked in.

“Davey, hey it’s me, I need you.”

“Are you ok?”

“No. I need to talk to someone. I need you Davey.”

Without hesitation Davey came to the hotel where Cammy told him she was staying and found her in her room with swollen eyes from crying so much, she was lying on the hotel bed in a ball.

“What happened, did someone hurt you?”’

“Yes, Hayden, he said he needed time to figure himself out, again. I left him at the house.”

“Bastard!
What now?”

“He said it’s him, not me. I don’t know.”

“Maybe you guys just have too many problems, I don’t know Cams.”

“
I always thought that we were meant for each other Davey, but now I don’t know how I feel. He pushed me into Liam and I have feelings for him too, you know that.”

“I know Cams, I know.”
He held her in his arms and rubbed her back as she cried.

“What do you want to do?”

“What should I do?” Cammy looked up at Davey, her eyes wet, her face red.

“Only you can answer that sister. You need to follow your heart, or maybe in this case, your head and be alone.”

“I don’t want to be alone, I never did! It all started with fucking California, that pill, that night, fucking hell!”

“Cams he would have done what he did with or without the pills, you might have too.”

“I know. I’m not innocent in all of this, I know that.”

You need to eat
, sleep and clear your head. You need to make a choice. Wait for Hayden and see what happens or go to the one who is waiting for you like I know he is.”

“You know he’s waiting for me?”

“He tells me everything Cammy, we are friends. Not the details though, just how he feels about you, and yes, I know for a fact he will wait for you and fulfill everything he said he would. Hayden might be your one true love, your fate, and if he ever gets his head out of his ass, he will may give you what your heart needs, fulfill you in a completely different way than Liam will.”

“Damn it Davey. I don’t know what to do!”

Cammy stopped crying, wiped her eyes with her hands and her sniffling nose on her shirt. Davey hugged her tight. She needed him and he was there for her.

“When you hurt, I hurt sister. We are twins remember?”

“I’m sorry Davey.”

“I’m going to go and get us some food, then you will shower and get some sleep.”

“That would be nice. I love you so much Davey.”

“And I love you Cammy. I’ll be back in a few.”

After Davey left the hotel that night, Cammy slipped into the bed in her room and started to sob again until she fell asleep and woke to Davey coming back in with the food. After he left, Cams feel back to sleep, tossing and turning until the morning light stung her eyes through the cracks in the hotel blinds.

“That’s it, I’m done crying.” She said out loud in her room.

Cammy got out of bed and checked her phone to see if Hayden called. There were 20 missed calls from him and numerous texts asking her to call him back. She tossed her phone in her purse and got dressed. She braided her own hair, skipped the makeup and headed out the door.  Cammy picked up some food at the deli on the corner and headed out for the mall in her car. She hadn’t been there in a very long time and thought this would be a perfect time to be alone, in the midst of strangers who don’t know her, didn’t care and she wouldn’t have to answer to anyone.

Browsing through the stores in the mall was wonderful. Cammy bought lingerie she wanted, new clothes and makeup. She didn’t feel sad, her sadness had turned to anger, then subsided.

Cammy ate a late lunch, then headed back to her hotel room. Glad it was Sunday and she didn’t have to be to the store until Tuesday this week. On the way back to her hotel she passed by St. Mary’s which made her think of Hayden, she did miss him, the way he used to be, would he ever be the same again? Blaring the radio in the car and singing along Cammy found herself singing the words to her own song on the radio, Mine. Liam kept a low profile, he was always in control and protected. Cammy never saw him in the press and never wondered about him on the internet, never dared to look, didn’t think she had to. Liam was so different from Hayden, he was older, established, rich and of course, always in control of his world. Did she want that, could he really fulfill her like he promised? Cammy drove the hotel and in her room she decided to make some phone calls. It was time, time to stop feeling bad, time to stop feeling like she was in a tail spin, time to listen to her heart and make a choice.

“Hello?”

“Hi Hayden, it’s me.”

“Baby, where are you? I talked to Davey and he wouldn’t tell me where you were, but you were ok.”

“I am.”

“Cammy, I don’t mean to hurt you, I never wanted that. I never expected that I would be like this in life. I only wanted to make you happy, be with you, have a life with you, but I became someone else, selfish, I went back to my old ways as a kid, until you changed me.”

“I know Hayden. I just don’t know if it’s too late, if you will be the same man I fell in love with, gave my everything to.”

“I’ll do anything
, I am the same man, I will be the same man. I know you still love me, I could feel it when we were together.”

Cammy couldn’t speak, or cry. Not knowing what to say next, she let him speak.

“You are my wife, my life Cammy Sage. I will forever regret hurting you and taking what we had and still have for granted. If I have driven you away and you need to be with him, then please know that I will always be here, waiting for you to come home to me, to us. You do what you need to do, I’ll ask no questions, I will understand. You know where to find me. I will wait for you every day at dusk, in our special place.”

“Oh Hayden, aren’t you leaving like you said?”

“No, I will stay and wait for you. The silence here of deafening, but it’s what I deserve.”

“Hayden, I am at a loss for words.”

“Every day Cammy, you know where I will be, until you come back to me. I love you, always.”

Hayden hung up his end of the line, leaving Cammy stunned and her heart aching for him. He really would wait for her, in their special place. He
r eyes held back the tears she so desperately wanted to release.

“Sweetheart?”

Cammy called Liam next, trying to sort out her feelings for the two.

“Hi Liam. Just wanted to see how you were?”

“You are trying to make your mind aren’t you?”

“How did you know?”

“I can tell in your voice.”

“Oh.”

“I was never alive fully inside until I met you Cammy.”

“Liam that is so much to take in right now. I wanted to hear your voice.”

“I know you did. My voice is telling you that you I am in love with you, I love you, even though your heart still belongs to him.”

“Liam.”

“Cammy you need to hear this, and then decide. I want to give you everything, I will. You and I can embark on a whole journey of discovery and pleasure together. We can have and do things that we have never done with anyone else, things and places that you have never been to, never had, might never ever have. You will love me in time, I feel it, you started to let yourself go but pulled back. Give me a chance. Come into my life Cammy.”

“I have no words right now.” Cammy was taken aback by Liam’s pledge to her.

“Say nothing. I am here in my sanctuary and I will be waiting for you. Come to me when you are ready. We will build a new sanctuary together, wherever you want. Remember, in my eyes you are already mine. I love you Cammy.”

Cammy listened to the line go dead. He had never said that he loved her like that and it was true, she started to let herself fall, but then Hayden came back into her life
.

             
              You

Another long week had flown by with Cammy throwing herself into the store, working hard and retiring at night to the hotel on Woodward. She was eating alone, sleeping alone, waking alone and felt utterly alone. Everywhere she went she heard Hayden’s voice or saw Liam’s face. She longed for them both, but one more than the other.

It was going to be a lonely Saturday night in this hotel, trying to stop feeling the way she did, trying to do what was right and be true to her heart.

“Davey, you mind locking up, I need to run a couple of errands before the stores close.”

“No problem, have a hot date coming in to meet me tonight anyway”

“Sorry I will miss that! Will you ever settle down?”

“Nope, not right now, that’s for you.”

Cammy shot him a look, and he smiled a pathetic smile back at her.

“No pun intended.”

Grabbing her purse and keys, Cammy left the store and set out to get her things done before going to the four walls in her hotel room she was calling her temporary home.

First stop was the bank where she made a deposit and received her balance. Looking at her receipt she noticed the balance was not the same as her books, by about fifty thousand dollars.

“Miss, I think there’s a mistake on this receipt, I know I don’t have that much in my account”

The teller brought back up her information on the computer and looked for a few moments.

“Mrs. Brock, I see here that a transfer was made from the trust account of Mr. Brock yesterday in the amount of fifty thousand dollars. It’s correct.”

Not wanting to look like a dumbass, Cammy thanked the teller, saying that she forgot about the transfer and left.

“Damn you Hayden! Why do this now? I had no idea you had that much” Cammy was talking to herself in the car, which she did a lot these days.

Rifling through her purse Cammy felt something in the bottom and pulled her hand out to reveal something shiny. Her rings, her wedding and engagement rings that she had thrown in her bag months ago and forgotten all about them. She held them in her hand and remember how Hayden kissed her bands after he put them on her and how he moved her. Then she remembered how Liam twirled them on her fingers stating how they should have been his, then, they wound up together that night.

Slipping the rings back onto her finger Cammy started the car and put it in reverse, backed up, then set out to her hotel. It was going to be dark soon and she hated to drive at night. She would run the rest of her errands tomorrow. Punching the button for the radio, she caught the last
words of her song which seemed to continuously play on her station. Mine, mine, mine, that’s what echoed through her head.

The car came to a screeching halt in the spot Cammy pulled in at some random store parking lot on Woodward. Pressing her head to the steering wheel, which had become her punching bag most recently, breathing hard and trying not to cry, Cammy looked up at the sky, so beautiful, so
serene, the night was beginning to fall.

Like she had been struck by light
ning, it hit her, it was an epiphany, it was the decision she had waited for. The memories flooded her mind. Her head was light and she felt excitement pulsing through her veins. She had to go. Putting the car in drive and getting back onto Woodward Cammy drove, drove to her fate, drove to the man she wanted, the man she needed, the man she had finally chosen, the man that was waiting for her. Her fingers dialed him frantically on her cell phone.

“Cammy?”

“I am coming to you. I want you! ”

Hanging up her phone she drove until she got there and saw his face. Those eyes, that hair, that body, that heart. How could she have not of known where she belonged? She belonged with him.

He was waiting for her, his arms were open, his smile was wide, his eyes were bright, and he was alive at the sight of her.

Getting out of the car and running to his open arms and beautiful smile,
Cammy jumped into him as he held her tight and spun them both around.

“I
have no words for how happy I am that you are here, with me.” He kissed her cheek.

“I am here and I don’t want to leave.”

“Then don’t.”

Holding her as if h
is life depended on it, he just  breathed in her intoxicating scent, it was in her lush hair, on her neck, everywhere. She was just more beautiful, if not more than when they first met. Cammy had decided. It felt right, it was right. She was in those strong arms that wouldn’t let go where she felt safe and warm, excited and finally happy.

“I hoped with everything I had that you would be here with me”
He whispered into her ear.

“Don’t let me go”
Cammy whispered back into his ear.

They kissed and he took her hands in his, staring deep into her smiling eyes.

“I won’t let you go my love. I’ve always been here, waiting for you.”