Waiting for you (Part 1) (14 page)

             
              Waiting for you

It was if nothing had happened. Hayden settled back in as though he had never left. Cammy went back to work while Hayden stayed home for the next couple of weeks, taking care of all of the loose ends that he had left behind. Cammy was happy to have him there, she did love him, but she was hurt by what he had done, confused at what she had done and she knew she needed to make a decision about Liam
. She wasn’t sure that she even wanted Hayden, and he was acting as if everything had all been forgotten and put in the past, but not in Cammy’s mind.

Going into work and mulling through the usual morning routine Cammy was opening boxes of new music to put on the shelves when she ran across something that made her freeze in her tracks. Looking down at her hands she saw a cd, a single release from Lyric, entitled Mine. The bands picture was on the front and she saw Liam, the front man standing there in all of his glory and sexiness, his looks overshadowing the rest of the band members. Flipping the cd over she read through the credits and saw that underneath Mine there was a caption saying
: To
C.
She felt goose bumps run across her skin. She was C and she knew it.

“You shit” She mumbled to herself.

Cammy had thought about Liam a lot after Hayden came home. Was she a fool for being with Hayden or a fool for being with Liam, she wasn’t sure. Maybe she was the one who needed time to sort things out for herself now.

“What a fucking mess.”

“You all right Cams?” Davey’s voice said behind her.

Snapping up the cds in her hands and putting them onto their appropriate shelf, she turned and smiled back at Davey.

“All good here brother, just getting things done.”

“Hey, I meant to tell you that I have finally gotten a place and am moving out. Going to have a party, you guys need to be there, I’ll let you know when ok.”

“Good for you Davey. Will Dad be ok without you?”

“Damn Cammy
, in case you haven’t noticed he is really happy with his new lady in his life, she is constantly over and we aren’t 18 anymore, time to get my own space.”

She had been so wrapped up in her own drama that she did fail to notice that Dean was happy now, he had found someone, gotten over their mother finally.

“I know, I know.”

Cammy turned and started working again
as Davey left for some other part of the store. The new location had turned out to be a success and they were even thinking of branching out again. Cammy thought maybe she should have went to college after all then she would not have become a slave of sorts to this store, but it was all she knew and all she had and was doing pretty well, besides Hayden wasn’t going back and wasn’t doing much of anything lately. He had narcotic meetings that he attended, but Cammy doubted that it was helping, but if it he said it was working for him, then she would try to see him through.

“Going to run a couple of errands and grab some lunch. I have my cell.” Cammy told one of the employees when walking out the door of the store.

Cammy was going where she usually went every day around this time, to the penthouse, to Liam’s room that he gave her the key to the room where she would have time to herself, thinking time, away from the world, away from Hayden.

“Good afternoon Ms. Hudson.”

“Hi, going up please.”

The attendant called her by her maiden name because she wanted to address herself that way so as not to raise any suspicions. The friendly man of
whom she didn’t know his name took her up to the penthouse on the 15
th
floor. Hearing the elevator doors shut behind her and the motor indicating that he was traveling back down Cammy took a deep breath and padded down the hallway to the room she so desperately needed today. She shed her clothes along the hallway except for her bra and panties. Lighting those patchouli candles and drawing the curtains halfway, like Liam did, Cammy put on the thundering rainstorm cd that she loved the most.

“Oh Cammy what are you doing?” Mumbling to herself again, the
n focusing on her breathing, she closed her eyes and began to think, to meditate. Floating away into another part of herself, focusing on her breathing, a weight lifted off of her giving her some clarity.

The sounds of the rain and distant thunder filled Cammy’s mind. Picturing herself in the woods somewhere, in a cabin, listening to the storm, hearing the drops fall on the tin roof, it was clear to her what she needed to do.

Eyes still closed and reaching for a pillow, Cammy leaned her body back and rested her head on the pillow, and let the world be still.

“Sweetheart?”

A familiar voice was heard in the tranquil room. Not knowing if she was dreaming or still in her vision, Cammy opened her eyes.

“Liam? What are you doing here? I mean this is your place, but I thought you were on tour?”

Walking over to Cammy and sitting next to her on the mat, he reached out to her and stroked her hair, caressed her face.

“I am home now Cammy. We are done with the tour. Sam, the keyboardist got sick, we cancelled the rest of our dates.”

“You did? Is he ok? Are you ok?”

“Never been better.”

Sitting up now and realizing that she was in her panties and bra, Cammy felt embarrassed and looked down.

“I’m sorry, I come here on my lunch and well, try to sort things out. I haven’t called you because I don’t know what to do. I’ll leave Liam, I’m sorry, I have overstepped.”

“That’s ridiculous Cammy, I gave you the keys, I wanted you to come here. I’m glad you did. I told you I would wait, I understand why you haven’t called.”

“Oh” Not knowing what else to say, Cammy stood up and turned off the music, blew out the candles. Liam stood and gave her a hug, which she reciprocated immediately.

“How are you my sweetheart?”

“I’m ok. How are you? How was the road?”

“It was fine Cammy. I’m done now. It was sure worth it to find you in my penthouse in your bra and panties that’s for sure.”

“Liam. I just feel more comfortable and in tune with myself when I am like this.”

“I know how you feel.”

They locked eyes.

“I have dreamed of you every night since I left, your body lying next to mine, the smell of you, your soft skin and your piercingly beautiful blue eyes. Have you thought of me?”

“Yes Liam I have.”

Cupping her face in his hands, Liam looked into her eyes again and gave her a soft kiss, melting her body.

“I know that he came back and you have been together and I understand that Cammy. I’m a grown man, I know how it works. You don’t have to say it, I know you are trying to tell me I see it in your eyes. We don’t need to talk about him.”

“I don’t want to Liam.”

“Are you all right? Has he hurt you again?”

“No Liam he hasn’t. I am all right.”

Still locked in an embrace, feeling his strong hands hold her back, pressing her into him, Liam ran his fingertips along her spine. She did love the feel of him, the way he held her and took all of her pain away with just a touch.

“Kiss me Cammy.” Leaning into her she kissed him, a long kiss, holding her lips to his.

“We can’t Liam.”

“I know sweetheart, I know.”

“I saw your new cd release. My song?”

“Of course it is Cammy. It’s for you.”

“Oh Liam thank you, it’s special, it’s something I have never had.”

“It’s yours, I’m yours, I hope that you really will be someday.”

“Be what?”

“Mine.”

Running his hands along her back and sides, then putting his mouth to her neck and grazing her with his stubble like she liked, Cammy was on fire, feeling her desire for him spark her to her very core. Wanting so badly to give into him, she couldn’t until she had made up her mind. It wasn’t fair to either one of them.

Pulling away from her, sensing the tension in her, Liam took her hand and led her out of the room and into the hallway, picking up her trail of clothes and helped her put them back on. Liam took her to his bathroom and sat her down, brushed her long, dark locks and put them into his usual braid, as he did before. She loved the way his hands felt, his fingers knotting her hair, the feel of the brush softly stroking her strands. Giving a short tug on her braid and kissing her neck, she knew that she could do this with him all of the time, and she was drawn to him like a moth to a flame.

“I need to get back.”

“I know sweetheart. Come let’s get you something to eat first.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“One of my wheatgrass shakes?”

“Not today. I need to go or I may not leave Liam.”

“Is that such a bad thing Cammy?”

“No, but I, I don’t know what I’m saying, I need to go.”

“I get it, you are confused.”

“Yea I am.”

“Cammy?”

“Yes Liam”

“I am home now, I am not going anywhere.”

“
Good.” Cammy smiled at him.

“I am here for you, I am waiting for you. I will wait for you. Please, I hope you tell me soon.”

“I was so good to see you Liam. I missed you.”

Holding her hands and kissing her knuckles, Liam put Cammy into the elevator and stared into her intently as the doors closed. He looked so lost without her already. Those hazel eyes were still burning into her, she felt that. The heat from his hands transferred into hers when he held them. The last glimpse she saw as the doors closed were those beautiful messy pieces of black hair falling into his face and those bare feet on the marble floors.

Driving back to work, Cammy wanted to cry. Frustrated, confused, not knowing what she wanted or needed, pounding on the steering wheel for comfort.

“Hey Cams back already?”

“Yep, any calls?”

“Hay called you,
he said you weren’t answering your cell. Your hair looks good like that, really shows off your face.”

He was referring to the braid that Liam had put in her hair.

“Thanks Davey”

Forgetting about Liam for the moment Cammy called Hayden back.

“Cams, when are you coming home?”

“I don’t know why?”

“Just missed you today.”

“That’s sweet Hayden, it’ll be same time as always. I’ll see you then.”

“Love you Cams.”

Hanging up without answering, Cammy dug out her body spray from her purse and spritzed herself to take away Liam’s scent. She would not be able to work all day with that running through her body.

Evening came quick and after burying herself in the store to take her mind off of things, Cammy closed up and headed for home.

The house was dimly lit and Hayden was sitting in the living room in the big leather chair they loved.

“Hayden, what’s wrong?”

“Oh Cammy, please sit with me.”

Dropping her keys and purse on the kitchen table, she immediately went to him and sat next to him in the chair.

“What is it Hayden?”

Looking at her and tucking a loose hair from her braid behind her ear Hayden broke down.

“Cammy, we haven’t talked, really talked since I have been home.”

“Not now Hayden, please.”

“Yes now Cams. I need to tell you things.”

Sighing and waiting for the worst again, Cammy looked at Hayden’s emerald eyes and waited for him to speak.

“I have to tell you again how sorry I am for everything that I did to you, how I pushed you into
Liam, changed a part of you by leaving and leaving you out. I wasn’t the man I was supposed to be. My dad was right when he said I would put you through the ringer and I have. I haven’t done my part. If I could take it all back I would. I’m not sure about anything anymore. I feel lost.”

“Join the club Hayden.”

“I mean it Cammy, I feel like I am holding you back or something, like you think less of me, which I can understand. I missed college, I’m 22 and clueless. I have a wife, responsibilities, things I am not living up to.”

“Hayden, what are you saying
? Are you leaving me again?”

He said nothing, just looked down like he always did when he didn’t know what to say.

“Oh my God, Hayden you are leaving me, aren’t you?”

“No Cammy, not for good, I need time to get my shit together and be who I am supposed to be, for you, for us.”

“You can’t do this with me? We are a team remember?”

“I remember, but I also know that someone else can give you what I haven’t been, what I don’t know if I can.”

“Hayden, don’t do this.”

“Cammy Sage, I want to spend every waking moment I can with you, forever, but I have damaged us and I need to fix myself before I can fix us.”

“You aren’t that damaged Hayden.”

“You have no idea Cammy.”