What the Heart Knows (5 page)

The awe in her voice made him smile. He liked that she appreciated the small things.   He turned to look at the tiny creature
s
with a pair of fresh eyes.

“Don’t you think it’s amazing that the males carry the babies?” she asked. 

“I think it sounds extremely painful.” 

She elbowed him gently and rolled her eyes.

“I’m serious. I have nieces and nephews
.
I’ve seen a woman in labor. It’s no cake walk,” he said.

“But the end results are well worth it.”

“If you asked my sisters they’d agree,
on most days.”

Her laughter rang out like a bell as she held her stomach.

“That’s so horrible!”

“But true. I love my nieces and nephews, but they can be a handful.”

“I can imagine. Are you close to your family?”

“Yes, it’s just me and my two sisters.  Tanya is older, and Michelle is a few years younger. What about you?”

“I just have one brother named Leo, who’s older by four years.”

“Do you guys get along well?”

“Oh yeah, he’s the best brother a girl could ask for. I never remember him having a phase whe
n
he thought I was annoying or embarrassing.”

“Then you’re lucky. I ditched Michelle and Tanya every chance I got.”

He chuckled when she gasped and playfully nudged him once more with her elbow.

“If you keep accosting me with that sharp elbow of yours I’ll start expecting you to kiss the bruises you’re inflicting better.”

“Fresh.”

“But you like it.”

She pursed her lips and leaned back to look up at him with a twinkle in her eyes that made him want to melt. It’d been a long time since he felt like he belonged anywhere.  It was a welcome change.

“You, wish.”

She accentuated each word before she stepped away, joining their hands. “Come on, we have plenty to see.”

*
***

Juni snuck a glance at the handsome man who sat beside her as they watched a short movie on penguins in the arctic. The black pants, black button down shirt, and a pair of black converse he wore were a stark contrast to the white blond hair that dipped down into his eye line. Oliver turned quite a few heads. His looks coupled with his quick humor and manners had her asking once more why he was single, and what he was doing here with her.  She had little to no experience with men, and there was an almost dark aura that clung to Oliver. It made her wonder if he was more man than she could handle.  
Way to be dramatic
,
Juniper. You need to lay off the romance novels.

She’d vowed to enjoy life to the fullest. That meant not chickening out because she was intimidated by what she was feeling. Oliver made her feel like she was someone other than the shy, slightly socially awkward wom
a
n who’d spent most of her life convinced she’d be lucky to see thirty. With him she was a confident twenty-five year adept at the art of flirting, and used to being wanted, not pitied. That was always one of the worst parts about being sick, the look that clearly said,
that poor girl
, and constant handling with kid gloves.

  It made it impossible for her to know if people were being sincere, or taking her on as some sort of charity case. Not to mention, sex was anything but enjoyable when the person laying down the pipe was afraid that too much activity would kill the wom
a
n beneath h
i
m. Her face heated with the remembered embarrassment of her last sexual encounter. It was why she was hesitant to tell Oliver the truth about her past. It would change the way he viewed her. 
With your scars, it’s not like you can hide it forever. 
She rubbed her hand over her chest and let out a sigh. They were only on their second date,
so
she had time. 

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“Hmmh?”

“You were rubbing your chest
.
A
re you okay?”

“Oh yeah.” She lowered her hands, mortified she’d been caught. “Nervous habit.”

He nodded and turned back to finish the movie.  A moment later his warm hand covered hers and she smirked. The sexual tension between them was heady, but the way he tempered it with sweetness put her at ease. Good sex was on her list of things to experience, but even more than that, she wanted to fall in love.   Oliver was a man she thought could make both things come true.
Maybe Leo was right.  I am naïve.
 

“Are you ready to grab something to eat?”  Oliver asked.

She nodded, and they made their way from the darkened screening room.

Chapter Six

“Are you still seeing that Oscar guy?” Jen asked. 

Juni looked up from the counter she’d been cleaning. She should have expected this eventually. It’d been almost two months, and Leo had kept his promise not to meddle. Of course, she’d never said anything about sending his girlfriend in to do recon.

“His name is Oliver, and yes I am.”

“How’s that going?”

“Very well actually, we have a lot of fun together.”

“So it’s a casual thing?”

“No, it’s not casual; we’re just not in a hurry to rush things along.”

“Is that code for you want to put off introducing him to anyone for as long as possible
?
”

“You know how they are
,
Jen.”

“With good reason
,
Juni. You can’t ask them to change a lifetime of habits at the drop of a dime.”

“It’s been two years
,
Jen.”

“One, don’t forget the recovery process.”

“How could I?”  Anger sparked in her gut as she narrowed her eyes at the leggy woman with raven locks.

“I’m sorry
,
Juni
.
I didn’t mean to sound so—”

“Self-righteous?  As hard as it might have been to watch from the outside, I promise you it was much more difficult to live through. I was the one who spent most of her existence with the knowledge
I
’d die young and unfulfilled because
I was
so limited by what
I was
capable of doing. I appreciate how much you guys care, I really do. But you need to look at things from my point of view too.”

“Does he know?”

“No, I haven’t told him yet.”

“Juniper!”

“It’s nice to just be a normal person for once.”

“You are normal.”

“No
,
Jen, I’m really not. After you go through what I did, you’re altered.”

She shook her head as she tossed down the towel and headed back behind the bar.

“I’m going to take out the trash.”

She yanked the plastic bag out of the garbage can, and stalked her way to outside to the back alley. Juni slung the black bag into the ugly brown dumpster, and let out a frustrated growl.  Would she ever be able to escape her past? It was times like this she found it incredibly hard to keep herself Zen. She’d made a promise during her recovery that she wouldn’t waste her time being angry or dwelling on the past. Too bad that was a lot easier said than done.  She kicked at the debris littered along the concrete. Who the hell was Jen to question what she was doing with Oliver?

She didn’t pry into her off and on again fling with Leo. A scowl lined her lips as she paced in front of the entryway. If she went back in there right now, she’d end up running her mouth and making a mess of a friendship.
  Is it really a friendship? Or a pity party turned into more when you didn’t kick the bucket? 
She frowned.  No, Jen had always been kind and considerate.
Because she wanted to get her hooks into Leo, and you were the baggage he lugged around
.  Tears stung her eyes at the rightness of the words. It made sense in a twisted sort of way.  No!
S
he wasn’t going to think like that. This was her frustration and anger at the situation talking.

Juni rubbed her hands over her arm as a cold breeze drifted over her. A dull ache began at the base of her skull, and she winced. Maybe she was coming down with something? That would explain a lot. She shielded her eyes from the sun that seemed to be hurting her suddenly light sensitive eyes, and retraced her steps back in to the café.

“Are you okay
,
Juni?” Jen asked.

“No, I think I’m coming down with a major migraine. Wednesdays tend to be pretty slow.  Do you think you’d be okay here without me until Sean arrives in a couple of hours?”

“Sure, just go take care of yourself.”

She nodded, and winced in regret at her actions. Slow and steady was the only way she was going to make it home.

“Do I need to call someone to drive you?” Jen asked. Her voice filled with worry.

“No,
i
t’s just around the corner
.
I’ll be fine.”

Juni grabbed her purse from behind the counter and rummaged for a pair of shades. She sighed in relief when she slid them onto her face and started a slow trek to her apartment.  By the time she reached her front door, sweat had begun to bead down her forehead, and her stomach churned.  She unlocked the door and slipped inside
,
unsure if she should collapse into bed, or head to the bathroom and prep to worship the porcelain god. The bedroom won out.  She stumbled across the living room and dropped down to lie across the bed. Her queen size mattress and black sheets had never felt so good.  She toed o
f
f her slip on shoes, burrowed under the covers, and tossed her sunglasses onto her nightstand. She rolled onto her back and covered her face with a pillow to block out light.

*
***

She knew instantly she was dreaming. Her vision had taken on a hazy quality not possible to achieve in real life without fog, and she was in an unfamiliar setting.  A slow spin in a circle revealed a picturesque shoreline. White sand lined a
Caribbean
blue sea that was barren for miles. Curious
,
she began to walk. The sun shone down on her, warming her skin
,
and the salty sea air tickled her nostrils. Her shoulders relaxed as she trailed her feet through the powder soft sand beneath her feet.  The hair on the back of her neck stood on end, and she turned to glance behind her
,
unsure of what she’d see.

Juni grinned when she saw Oliver approach. He looked younger, healthy and whole in a way he didn’t quite accomplish now. She took the hand he offered and laughed when he pulled her closer to the shoreline. The cold water splashed on her feet and up to her ankles. She squealed and attempted to escape his strong arms.  Laughter rippled out of her as he pulled her into his arms
,
dragging them both into the freezing water. She leaned back against his chest. Her fingers traced the intricate black dragon tattoo that trailed down his arm. 

  His lips caressed her neck and his hands moved up to cup her breasts. She gasped
,
arching her back to accommodate the sensual massage he’d begun. He whispered into her ear, but she couldn’t quite make out the words. She leaned back to wrap her arms around his neck, and moaned when his hands dipped
down into the
tank top
of her dress to
cup her naked breasts. 
Since when d
o
I
go topless?
Her thoughts were turned to more pressing matters when he gave a playful pinch to her nipples.  She gasped and ground her ass into the thickened shaft pressed up against her.

“Oliver.”  Her voice was husky and deep.
I
d
o
n’t sound like that.
She frowned only to gasp when he gripped her hips tight and rocked against her. 

His breath caressed her ear and she shrieked when she found herself swept up into his arms, bridal style. She leaned back and quivered. The intense emotions visible in his green eyes made her stomach flutter. God
,
he was beautiful. She lifted her hand to brush the hair away from his forehead and gaped at the round solitaire that rested on her left ring finger. It was just a dream
;
she’d go with it. The aquamarine dress she wore fluttered out around her as he strode from the surf. Time seemed to move in slow motion as he leaned down to devour her mouth.

His tongue was insistent as it slid inside her mouth and he staked his claim. There was no inch he hadn’t tasted when they pulled apart for air and he lowered them both to the sand. Their lips came together again and he unbuttoned her dress with tactile fingers that seemed to singe her skin everywhere they brushed.  His mouth opened and closed, and she squinted as she read his lips.