When Our Worlds Collide (18 page)

Chapter Twenty-Eight

-Graham-

“Hi Kennedy, you’re here to take some photos?” Coach shouts
out in the middle of his pregame speech. I search the green in front of the
dugout wondering where she is hiding.

“Only if it’s okay with you,” she says sweetly from the
outside of the dugout somewhere. You can always hear her smile through her
voice. I know better than anyone after the way she bulldozed me in the hallway
today that her sweetness can run out.

“Good luck capturing anything worth using. These boys may be
good at baseball, but they aren’t anything worth writing home about. ” This
makes her laugh making my desire to run out to her and kiss her like I just had
this morning before school. Those moments seem too far away now. Almost as if
they never happened. I screwed it all up more than what she’s aware of.
Typical
Graham, always messing things up and for what…

Kennedy turns the corner towards the dugout where we’re all
sitting along the bench. She has the camera up to her eye snapping photo after
photo. She looks beautiful. The sun’s shining down on her long brown hair
making it shimmer in the light. I can’t keep my eyes off of her. I wasn’t
trying to hide my fascination. She has changed out of what she was wearing this
morning into a pair of jeans and a simple teal tank top. The color makes her
eyes stand out amongst everyone else.

“Graham Black, quit ogling that poor girl and get on the
field,” Coach shouts at me before throwing my mitt into my lap. I glance up to
see all of my teammates already warming up. Kennedy’s smiling at her camera
screen. Just her smile lightens my mood.
And to think you screwed it all up
with her.

I run out of the dugout to stand directly up against
Kennedy’s back while she snaps a few shots of the players that are on the field
like I’m supposed to be. She’s aware of how close I am by the way she stiffens
up.

“You look beautiful,” I whisper in her ear. She doesn’t say
anything. She turns to face me allowing her expression to say it all.
Everything is eventually going to be okay. After what I did this afternoon I
highly doubt that.

I barely make it to the mound when Mark and Craig step in
front of me stopping me dead in my tracks. “You ready for tonight?” Mark asks
with a sly grin.

“What’s tonight?” I ask knowing fully well what they are
referring to, yet another party at Craig’s.  It’s the same thing every weekend.
Keeping my gaze locked on Kennedy as she walks around the field snapping shot
after shot, I am caught by my best friends. Craig’s tossing a baseball in the
air playing catch with himself while Mark’s intently watching me as if I’ve
lost my mind.

“She’s hot, right?” Craig marvels at his obvious attraction
to my girl. This is him staking his claim on her.

“She’s gorgeous,” I answer honestly. Mark looks at me
sideways in surprise. Craig’s eyebrows singe together threatened by the
compliment.

“I’m thinking that tonight’s the night. Girls always fall
for the Craig Daniel’s charm. What would make this chick any different?” Craig
asks but Mark and I both know it’s a rhetorical question. Craig jogs over
towards Kennedy leaving Mark and me on the mound.

Before he was out of ear shot Mark mutters under his breath
low enough for what was only supposed to be for my ears, “Because she’s
actually smart unlike all the others.” This makes us both laugh, but Craig
doesn’t find the humor in the jab as he glares at the two of us flipping us the
bird behind his back. Heaven forbid he lets Kennedy see him being crude. Such a
con artist.

“I’ve seen you watching her, you know?” Mark speaks up as he
tosses the ball in the air towards me.

“Who?” I ask already knowing who he is referring to. I can’t
stop myself from looking back towards her. She was standing near the dugout
talking to Coach now. Coach must have run off Craig because he’s in the outfield
where he belongs.

“Kennedy Conrad.” Mark points back at where she is standing
laughing at something Coach is saying to her. “Is there something going on
there?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I answer as coolly
as possible shaking my head in denial, trying not to be too obvious.

“Don’t let Craig see you. You know how he gets when he
stakes his territory and he clearly thinks she’s his for the taking,” Mark pats
me on the back then walked behind home plate. I thought about what Mark was
implying before I start practicing. Craig barely knows Kennedy, but Mark is
right about one thing. Craig thinks that Kennedy is his to have, but he is
sadly mistaken. I may have messed up royally, but I’m not willing to back down
even for my best friend.

“Mark?” I shout to get his attention before he gets too far
away. He turns jogging back to me.

“What’s up, man?” he quirks an eyebrow at me. I’m not sure
if I should bring her back up. I just need to talk to someone about her. It’s
killing me.

“What do you think about her? Kennedy?” I ask slamming the
baseball repeatedly into my mitt.

Mark lets out a strand of uncontrollable laughs. I want to
beat the shit out of him when I see the way he’s looking at me. He knows…he has
to.

“The fact that you are even asking pretty much means that
you don’t want to hear what I have to say, but since you’re practically my
brother I’ll be honest with you. The girl is smoking hot and ridiculously
smart. Too smart to even fathom trying to snuggle up to any of us. She’s quiet
and understated in the best kind of way. She’s the type of girl you marry, not
fuck, so if that’s your intentions I suggest you run in the opposite direction
of her because a girl like that…” Mark turns and points back to a clueless
Kennedy. “A beautiful girl like that will love you and bury herself so deep in
you that you won’t realize it until you are writing love letters and buying
flowers like a little pussy.”

I looked at my best friend in shock. “That was poetic man,
real deep,” I laugh shoving him away from the pitcher’s mound.

“I’m not the one asking about a girl like I’m in third
grade. Do you want me to go ask her if she likes you too?” Mark jokes heading
back to his spot behind home plate.

I watch the seconds on the scoreboard count down. After
throwing out a few practice pitches, I am ready for the game to start. We’re
playing one of our rivals. I always get more anxious and amped up when our
bragging rights are on the line. I have a hatred for their first baseman. He
and I met in 7th grade at a baseball summer camp. Not many people can tolerate
him. He’s a damn good ball player, not as good as me of course. He’s given a
free pass in life to be an asshole. Some may say the same about me.

As usual when I stand on the dirt mound all things plaguing
my mind falls to the side just for a few short innings. I get to erase the
memory of my own father beating the shit out of me just the night before even
though I feel it running through my ribs with every pitch I throw over home
plate. It’s easier to forget the pressure I feel to win this game. The one
thing that doesn’t fall away is Kennedy. She seems to be the only thing that
consumes my thoughts. I keep replaying Mark’s little impromptu speech.
Everything he said was damn near the truth. It’s unlike me and it would be
easier to be the guy I was before the accident. Before Kennedy came along and
screwed me all up.

I catch a good look towards her as I prepare to send out the
first pitch. She’s standing along the fence laughing with Violet. Her long
brown hair falls around her face as she reaches down to grab the camera that is
hanging around her neck. As if I’m connected to her somehow I can feel the lens
on me as she watches through the small window. I smile just as I release the
pitch knowing that she will capture the moment. Kennedy just won’t know that
the smile is meant for her.

They ended up being a tougher team than we expected. They
gave us a run for our money when in the sixth inning they almost gained a run
on us. In the end we took control winning with eleven runs to their nine. As
the team celebrates the win near the dugout, I keep my eyes on Kennedy as she
walks closer towards where the team is gathered giving each other high fives
and pats on the back. Violet’s on her side and I quickly notice Amanda hot on
their heels.

Oh shit. I’m screwed.

Please keep your god damn mouth shut, Amanda.

Amanda runs up to the fence trying to gain my attention.
“Graham, looks like our tradition works,” she boasts with the confidence only
she is capable of.  I used to find it endearing. Now I wish she would have
moved back in the 5th grade. All of the guys on the team hoot and holler while
Coach tells us to calm down. The only face I see is Kennedy’s as she approaches
the team. She looks livid, but tries to hide it behind her camera. I can tell
by the way her lips are pursed and the way her shoulders are tight that she
heard everything Amanda had said. I don’t have any way to explain it to her.
I’m such a dick.

There’s no excuse and no explanation that can make this
moment less fucked up. Willing Kennedy to look in my direction is impossible.
Even as she takes multiple photos of the team her eyes pass right over mine as
if I’m not even there anymore, as if I don’t exist in her world. I just proved
to her that she is wrong about me once again. I am exactly who I claimed to be.
This Graham isn’t worthy of someone as kind hearted and forgiving as Kennedy.
Of course, I don’t think forgiveness is something I’m going to get from her any
time soon. I follow the rest of the team across the parking lot heading to the
locker room with my shoulders slumped over in defeat.

“Kennedy, you coming over tonight?” Craig shouts to her as
she starts to get in her car.

Without missing a beat Kennedy looks directly at me. “I
wouldn’t miss it for the world. Violet and Dan owe us a rematch,” she winks at
him
. She winks at him? I suppose I deserve that.
She turns her eyes onto
me with an empty glare before jumping into her car and starting it. Her eyes
were empty when she looked at me. She no longer looks at me as if I am worth
something. I’m nothing.

A few of the guys slap Craig on the back congratulating him
on scoring someone as innocent as Kennedy the minute we all are done showering.
I grip the door of my locker trying to stifle my anger before I rip it off of
its hinges and bash it against Craig’s pretty little face. Mark watches me
unraveling in front of him. He shakes his head, slaps me on the shoulder as he
strides by.

“She’s the kind that you marry, Bro. If your eyes are saying
what I think they are saying then don’t let that little asshole near her
innocence, understand me?” Mark whispers shutting the door to his locker.

The party is in full swing by the time I arrive. It’s the
usual scene. There’s the usual beer pong table set up in the dining room, a
group playing Xbox in the living room and the kegs safely tucked in the
kitchen. People are scattered everywhere flirting and bumping into each other
on purpose. Amanda finds me quickly like she’s a search and missal. She doesn’t
waste any time by slinging her arm around my waist clearly intoxicated beyond
the point where it’s necessary.  

“What can I do for you Amanda?” I say annoyed not bothering
to try to hide it. I can’t blame my predicament on her, but it sure as hell
feels good to pretend I can.

“I think you know what you can do for me,” she propositions
biting down on her lip.

Jesus Christ.

“Does it ever get old for you? This whole ‘Let me throw
myself at you and hopefully you’ll pick up the pieces’ thing? You look
desperate and it’s not as cute as you think it is.” Clearly I could have
sugarcoated that a bit better seeing how I was just inside of her a few hours
before. That is truly as sweet as it was going to get tonight.

Amanda’s always been my weakness. She’s easy and present, so
I constantly jumped on the opportunity. Not anymore. I don’t care if Kennedy
hates me. I’m not going to use Amanda like that anymore.

I slipped up today and I fell back into my old routine after
Kennedy and I argued in the hallway at school. I’ve never been one to make up
excuses and I’m not planning on starting now. I did what I did and there is
nothing I can do to take it back. Now I’m living with the consequences of my
actions. The only thing that I can do is try to prove to Kennedy that I am
sorry, once again.

The room goes quiet, too quiet. I look only at Amanda to try
to drive my point home. Her eyes start to water. Even though I feel some form
of remorse I know that this is the only way to prove to her that what I said is
true.

“You’re an asshole, Graham. You know that?” she says before
slapping me across the face with the fury only a scorned woman is capable of.

I look around the room to see that everyone’s eyes are
locked on me. I can’t find it in myself to even care. I’m used to being this
guy. That hasn’t seem to deter any of the girls from trying to climb on my lap
every chance they can get. I doubt one public display of assholeness would
change any of their minds about trying to get in my bed.

Walking through the crowded party I can feel everyone’s gaze
burning into the back of my head. Their curiosity is apparent. I step onto the
back deck to see Kennedy and Violet huddled against the railing talking in a
low whisper.

“I’m just going to go inside,” Violet explains with a wink
directed straight at me. It’s damn obvious that Kennedy has indulged our
situation to her best friend by the looks Violet’s been sending me all week.

I stand next to Kennedy as we both stay silent until I break
the quiet that’s looming between us. “I’m not going to apologize to you. I know
it won’t make any difference. I regret what I did. Just thought you should know
that,” I explain easily with a clear voice to make sure she doesn’t miss a
single part of my apology. I need her to know that I’m taking this mistake
seriously. Apologizing isn’t something I’m used to.