William Shakespeare: The Complete Works 2nd Edition (250 page)
Read William Shakespeare: The Complete Works 2nd Edition Online
Authors: William Shakespeare
Tags: #Drama, #Literary Criticism, #Shakespeare
BOOK: William Shakespeare: The Complete Works 2nd Edition
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NORTHUMBERLAND
For this I shall have time enough to mourn.
In poison there is physic; and these news,
Having been well, that would have made me sick,
Being sick, have in some measure made me well;
And, as the wretch whose fever-weakened joints,
Like strengthless hinges, buckle under life,
Impatient of his fit, breaks like a fire
Out of his keeper’s arms, even so my limbs,
Weakened with grief, being now enraged with grief,
Are thrice themselves.
In poison there is physic; and these news,
Having been well, that would have made me sick,
Being sick, have in some measure made me well;
And, as the wretch whose fever-weakened joints,
Like strengthless hinges, buckle under life,
Impatient of his fit, breaks like a fire
Out of his keeper’s arms, even so my limbs,
Weakened with grief, being now enraged with grief,
Are thrice themselves.
⌈
He casts away his crutch
⌉
Hence therefore, thou nice crutch!
A scaly gauntlet now with joints of steel
Must glove this hand.
Must glove this hand.
⌈
He snatches off his coif
⌉
And hence, thou sickly coif!
Thou art a guard too wanton for the head
Which princes fleshed with conquest aim to hit.
Now bind my brows with iron, and approach
The ragged‘st hour that time and spite dare bring
To frown upon th’enraged Northumberland!
Let heaven kiss earth ! Now let not nature’s hand
Keep the wild flood confined! Let order die!
And let this world no longer be a stage
To feed contention in a ling’ring act;
But let one spirit of the first-born Cain
Reign in all bosoms, that each heart being set
On bloody courses, the rude scene may end,
And darkness be the burier of the dead!
Which princes fleshed with conquest aim to hit.
Now bind my brows with iron, and approach
The ragged‘st hour that time and spite dare bring
To frown upon th’enraged Northumberland!
Let heaven kiss earth ! Now let not nature’s hand
Keep the wild flood confined! Let order die!
And let this world no longer be a stage
To feed contention in a ling’ring act;
But let one spirit of the first-born Cain
Reign in all bosoms, that each heart being set
On bloody courses, the rude scene may end,
And darkness be the burier of the dead!
LORD BARDOLPH
Sweet Earl, divorce not wisdom from your honour.
MORTON
The lives of all your loving complices
Lean on your health, the which, if you give o‘er
To stormy passion, must perforce decay.
You cast th’event of war, my noble lord,
And summed the account of chance, before you said
‘Let us make head’. It was your presurmise
That in the dole of blows your son might drop.
You knew he walked o‘er perils on an edge,
More likely to fall in than to get o’er.
You were advised his flesh was capable
Of wounds and scars, and that his forward spirit
Would lift him where most trade of danger ranged.
Yet did you say, ‘Go forth’; and none of this,
Though strongly apprehended, could restrain
The stiff-borne action. What hath then befall’n?
Or what doth this bold enterprise bring forth,
More than that being which was like to be?
Lean on your health, the which, if you give o‘er
To stormy passion, must perforce decay.
You cast th’event of war, my noble lord,
And summed the account of chance, before you said
‘Let us make head’. It was your presurmise
That in the dole of blows your son might drop.
You knew he walked o‘er perils on an edge,
More likely to fall in than to get o’er.
You were advised his flesh was capable
Of wounds and scars, and that his forward spirit
Would lift him where most trade of danger ranged.
Yet did you say, ‘Go forth’; and none of this,
Though strongly apprehended, could restrain
The stiff-borne action. What hath then befall’n?
Or what doth this bold enterprise bring forth,
More than that being which was like to be?
LORD BARDOLPH
We all that are engaged to this loss
Knew that we ventured on such dangerous seas
That if we wrought out life was ten to one;
And yet we ventured for the gain proposed,
Choked the respect of likely peril feared;
And since we are o’erset, venture again.
Come, we will all put forth body and goods.
Knew that we ventured on such dangerous seas
That if we wrought out life was ten to one;
And yet we ventured for the gain proposed,
Choked the respect of likely peril feared;
And since we are o’erset, venture again.
Come, we will all put forth body and goods.
MORTON
‘Tis more than time; and, my most noble lord,
I hear for certain, and dare speak the truth,
The gentle Archbishop of York is up
With well-appointed powers. He is a man
Who with a double surety binds his followers.
My lord, your son had only but the corpse,
But shadows and the shows of men, to fight;
For that same word ‘rebellion’ did divide
The action of their bodies from their souls,
And they did fight with queasiness, constrained,
As men drink potions, that their weapons only
Seemed on our side; but, for their spirits and souls,
This word ‘rebellion’, it had froze them up,
As fish are in a pond. But now the Bishop
Turns insurrection to religion.
Supposed sincere and holy in his thoughts,
He’s followed both with body and with mind,
And doth enlarge his rising with the blood
Of fair King Richard, scraped from Pomfret stones;
Derives from heaven his quarrel and his cause;
Tells them he doth bestride a bleeding land
Gasping for life under great Bolingbroke;
And more and less do flock to follow him.
I hear for certain, and dare speak the truth,
The gentle Archbishop of York is up
With well-appointed powers. He is a man
Who with a double surety binds his followers.
My lord, your son had only but the corpse,
But shadows and the shows of men, to fight;
For that same word ‘rebellion’ did divide
The action of their bodies from their souls,
And they did fight with queasiness, constrained,
As men drink potions, that their weapons only
Seemed on our side; but, for their spirits and souls,
This word ‘rebellion’, it had froze them up,
As fish are in a pond. But now the Bishop
Turns insurrection to religion.
Supposed sincere and holy in his thoughts,
He’s followed both with body and with mind,
And doth enlarge his rising with the blood
Of fair King Richard, scraped from Pomfret stones;
Derives from heaven his quarrel and his cause;
Tells them he doth bestride a bleeding land
Gasping for life under great Bolingbroke;
And more and less do flock to follow him.
NORTHUMBERLAND
I knew of this before, but, to speak truth,
This present grief had wiped it from my mind.
Go in with me, and counsel every man
The aptest way for safety and revenge.
Get posts and letters, and make friends with speed.
Never so few, and never yet more need. Exeunt
1.2This present grief had wiped it from my mind.
Go in with me, and counsel every man
The aptest way for safety and revenge.
Get posts and letters, and make friends with speed.
Never so few, and never yet more need. Exeunt
Enter Sir John
Falstaff,
⌈
followed by
⌉ his Page bearing his sword and buckler
SIR JOHN Sirrah, you giant, what says the doctor to my water?
PAGE He said, sir, the water itself was a good healthy water, but, for the party that owed it, he might have more diseases than he knew for.
SIR JOHN Men of all sorts take a pride to gird at me. The brain of this foolish-compounded clay, man, is not able to invent anything that tends to laughter more than I invent, or is invented on me. I am not only witty in myself, but the cause that wit is in other men.
I
do here walk before thee like a sow that hath o‘erwhelmed all her litter but one. If the Prince put thee into my service for any other reason than to set me off, why then, I have no judgement. Thou whoreson mandrake, thou art fitter to be worn in my cap than to wait at my heels. I was never manned with an agate till now; but I will set you neither in gold nor silver, but in vile apparel, and send you back again to your master for a jewel—the juvenal the Prince your master, whose chin is not yet fledge. I will sooner have a beard grow in the palm of my hand than he shall get one off his cheek; and yet he will not stick to say his face is a face-royal. God may finish it when he will; ’tis not a hair amiss yet. He may keep it still at a face-royal, for a barber shall never earn sixpence out of it. And yet he’ll be crowing as if he had writ man ever since his father was a bachelor. He may keep his own grace, but he’s almost out of mine, I can assure him. What said Master Dumbleton about the satin for my short cloak and slops?
I
do here walk before thee like a sow that hath o‘erwhelmed all her litter but one. If the Prince put thee into my service for any other reason than to set me off, why then, I have no judgement. Thou whoreson mandrake, thou art fitter to be worn in my cap than to wait at my heels. I was never manned with an agate till now; but I will set you neither in gold nor silver, but in vile apparel, and send you back again to your master for a jewel—the juvenal the Prince your master, whose chin is not yet fledge. I will sooner have a beard grow in the palm of my hand than he shall get one off his cheek; and yet he will not stick to say his face is a face-royal. God may finish it when he will; ’tis not a hair amiss yet. He may keep it still at a face-royal, for a barber shall never earn sixpence out of it. And yet he’ll be crowing as if he had writ man ever since his father was a bachelor. He may keep his own grace, but he’s almost out of mine, I can assure him. What said Master Dumbleton about the satin for my short cloak and slops?
PAGE He said, sir, you should procure him better assurance than Bardolph. He would not take his bond and yours; he liked not the security.
SIR JOHN Let him be damned like the glutton! Pray God his tongue be hotter! A whoreson Achitophel, a rascally yea-forsooth knave, to bear a gentleman in hand and then stand upon security! The whoreson smooth-pates do now wear nothing but high shoes and bunches of keys at their girdles; and if a man is through with them in honest taking-up, then they must stand upon security. I had as lief they would put ratsbane in my mouth as offer to stop it with security. I looked a should have sent me two-and-twenty yards of satin, as I am a true knight, and he sends me ‘security’! Well, he may sleep in security, for he hath the horn of abundance, and the lightness of his wife shines through it; and yet cannot he see, though he have his own lanthorn to light him. Where’s Bardolph?
PAGE He’s gone in Smithfield to buy your worship a horse.
SIR JOHN I bought him in Paul’s, and he’ll buy me a horse in Smithfield. An I could get me but a wife in the stews, I were manned, horsed, and wived.
Enter the Lord Chief Justice and his Servant
PAGE Sir, here comes the nobleman that committed the
Prince for striking him about Bardolph.
SIR JOHN ⌈
moving away
⌉ Wait close; I will not see him.
moving away
⌉ Wait close; I will not see him.
LORD CHIEF JUSTICE (
to his Servant
) What’s he that goes there ?
to his Servant
) What’s he that goes there ?
SERVANT Falstaff, an’t please your lordship.
LORD CHIEF JUSTICE He that was in question for the robbery?
SERVANT He, my lord; but he hath since done good service at Shrewsbury, and, as I hear, is now going with some charge to the Lord John of Lancaster.
LORD CHIEF JUSTICE What, to York? Call him back again.
SERVANT Sir John Falstaff!
SIR JOHN Boy, tell him I am deaf.
PAGE (
to the Servant
) You must speak louder; my master is deaf.
to the Servant
) You must speak louder; my master is deaf.
LORD CHIEF JUSTICE I am sure he is to the hearing of anything good. (
To the Servant
) Go pluck him by the elbow; I must speak with him.
To the Servant
) Go pluck him by the elbow; I must speak with him.
SERVANT Sir John!
SIR JOHN What, a young knave and begging! Is there not wars? Is there not employment? Doth not the King lack subjects? Do not the rebels want soldiers? Though it be a shame to be on any side but one, it is worse shame to beg than to be on the worst side, were it worse than the name of rebellion can tell how to make it.
SERVANT You mistake me, sir.
SIR JOHN Why, sir, did I say you were an honest man? Setting my knighthood and my soldiership aside, I had lied in my throat if I had said so.
SERVANT I pray you, sir, then set your knighthood and your soldiership aside, and give me leave to tell you you lie in your throat if you say I am any other than an honest man. 88
SIR JOHN I give thee leave to tell me so? I lay aside that which grows to me? If thou gettest any leave of me, hang me. If thou takest leave, thou wert better be hanged. You hunt counter. Hence, avaunt!
SERVANT Sir, my lord would speak with you.
LORD CHIEF JUSTICE Sir John Falstaff, a word with you.
SIR JOHN My good lord! God give your lordship good time of day. I am glad to see your lordship abroad. I heard say your lordship was sick. I hope your lordship goes abroad by advice. Your lordship, though not clean past your youth, have yet some smack of age in you, some relish of the saltness of time in you; and I most humbly beseech your lordship to have a reverent care of your health.
LORD CHIEF JUSTICE Sir John, I sent for you before your expedition to Shrewsbury.
SIR JOHN An’t please your lordship, I hear his majesty is returned with some discomfort from Wales.
LORD CHIEF JUSTICE I talk not of his majesty. You would not come when I sent for you.
SIR JOHN And I hear, moreover, his highness is fallen into this same whoreson apoplexy.
LORD CHIEF JUSTICE Well, God mend him! I pray you, let me speak with you.
SIR JOHN This apoplexy is, as I take it, a kind of lethargy, an’t please your lordship, a kind of sleeping in the blood, a whoreson tingling.
LORD CHIEF JUSTICE What tell you me of it? Be it as it is.
SIR JOHN It hath it original from much grief, from study, and perturbation of the brain. I have read the cause of his effects in Galen. It is a kind of deafness.
LORD CHIEF JUSTICE I think you are fallen into the disease, for you hear not what I say to you.
SIR JOHN Very well, my lord, very well. Rather, an’t please you, it is the disease of not listening, the malady of not marking, that I am troubled withal.
LORD CHIEF JUSTICE To punish you by the heels would amend the attention of your ears, and I care not if I do become your physician.
SIR JOHN I am as poor as Job, my lord, but not so patient.
Your lordship may minister the potion of imprisonment to me in respect of poverty; but how I should be your patient to follow your prescriptions, the wise may make some dram of a scruple, or indeed a scruple itself.
LORD CHIEF JUSTICE I sent for you, when there were matters against you for your life, to come speak with me.
SIR JOHN As I was then advised by my learned counsel in the laws of this land-service, I did not come.
LORD CHIEF JUSTICE Well, the truth is, Sir John, you live in great infamy.
SIR JOHN He that buckles himself in my belt cannot live in less.
LORD CHIEF JUSTICE Your means are very slender, and your waste is great.
SIR JOHN I would it were otherwise; I would my means were greater and my waist slenderer.
LORD CHIEF JUSTICE You have misled the youthful Prince.
SIR JOHN The young Prince hath misled me. I am the fellow with the great belly, and he my dog.
LORD CHIEF JUSTICE Well, I am loath to gall a new-healed wound. Your day’s service at Shrewsbury hath a little gilded over your night’s exploit on Gads Hill. You may thank th‘unquiet time for your quiet o’erposting that action.
SIR JOHN My lord—
LORD CHIEF JUSTICE But since all is well, keep it so. Wake not a sleeping wolf.
SIR JOHN To wake a wolf is as bad as smell a fox.
LORD CHIEF JUSTICE What! You are as a candle, the better part burnt out.
SIR JOHN A wassail candle, my lord, all tallow—if I did say of wax, my growth would approve the truth.
LORD CHIEF JUSTICE There is not a white hair in your face but should have his effect of gravity.
SIR JOHN His effect of gravy, gravy, gravy.
LORD CHIEF JUSTICE You follow the young Prince up and down like his ill angel.
SIR JOHN Not so, my lord; your ill angel is light, but I hope he that looks upon me will take me without weighing. And yet in some respects, I grant, I cannot go. I cannot tell, virtue is of so little regard in these costermongers’ times that true valour is turned bearherd; pregnancy is made a tapster, and his quick wit wasted in giving reckonings; all the other gifts appertinent to man, as the malice of this age shapes them, are not worth a gooseberry. You that are old consider not the capacities of us that are young. You do measure the heat of our livers with the bitterness of your galls. And we that are in the vanguard of our youth, I must confess, are wags too.
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