Wrestling With Love (41 page)

Wrestling With Love

Scott sounded hesitant when he answered. “Sure. Is something wrong? You’ve been in a rotten mood lately. You’re not going to drop some news on me that’s going to wreck me, are you?”

“No, everything is actually really right.” He felt guilty Scott’s first reaction was to suspect that something was wrong. “And Scott?”

“Yes.”

“I love you.”

Scott was quiet for a moment. Derek heard him take a shaky breath before responding. “You don’t know how good that is to hear from you. I love you too. I’ll see you at the Student Center.”

Thirty minutes later, they were sitting in a small booth. Derek was nearly bouncing out of his seat. Scott, who had a perplexed expression on his face, sat across from him, watching Derek unfold and refold a napkin several times before finally speaking.

“What did you want to talk about? Did you want to show me the fine art of origami?”

Derek looked up, not understanding Scott’s question. Looking back down at his napkin, he realized what Scott had been referring to and pushed the napkin aside. “I wanted to meet you because we have to talk. I don’t want to show up at our room one day to find you sitting on the couch with a packed bag next to you.”

The look of confusion on Scott’s face was pronounced. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about how I’ve been such a huge jackass. I’m talking about the fact I’ve been stubborn and mean and have treated you like shit. That needs to stop, today, right now.” Derek watched Scott carefully. Scott looked stunned. “I’ve been angry for a while now, and I’ve tried to convince myself I was angry at you.”

“Why?”

“Because, I was really angry at myself and I couldn’t bring myself to admit it.”

Derek replayed the conversations he had with his mother and with Josh in fast forward. He’d figured out so much in such a short period of time. “I’ve been blaming you for not supporting me in my choice to come out. More specifically, I’ve been angry at you for choosing not to come out with me. I think I believed if I could blame you, I wouldn’t have to look at myself to see where I’m responsible for my situation.”

The words began to flow easier for Derek. “I’m the one who chose this path for myself and you’ve been nothing but honest with me from the beginning. You never pretended you were comfortable with coming out. I’m the one who’s been pushing and I’m the one who brought this situation on myself. Tyrell may be a nut job, but there’s nothing you could have done to prevent him from behaving the way he did. Even if you announced in the student newspaper we were a couple, it probably wouldn’t have stopped him from trying to break us up and finding some other approach to get what he wants.

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As he spoke, he saw Scott’s face begin to lighten, the corner of his lip crawling up into his crooked grin. God, I feel like I haven’t seen that grin in a million years! He felt his cock begin to stir. “Stop it, I’m not done yet.”

“Stop what?”

“Stop smiling at me like that. It’s distracting me and I’m not finished saying what I have to say.”

Scott’s lips curled up even further, causing Derek’s cock to fill out even more. “You mean stop smiling like this?” He said it innocently, but his eyes were twinkling with villainous mischief.

“Bastard!” Derek took in a deep breath and continued, one sentence flowing into the next. “What I’m trying to say is I’ve been trying to blame you for what I haven’t wanted to face in myself. I’m the one to blame for the situation I’m in and it doesn’t mean you love me any less just because you want to remain private about your sexuality. You have every right to come out at your own pace. You’ve done nothing but stand behind me every step of the way and don’t deserve the way I’ve treated you, and I am done trying to blame you for something that’s not your fault.” When he finished speaking, he had to draw in a huge breath and felt like an enormous weight had been lifted from his chest.

Scott sat quietly, still smiling, but looking more serious. Finally, he reached across the table and took one of Derek’s hands. “Thank you. It means a lot to me you’ve given this so much thought and that you’re apologizing. I do love you and it has been killing me that we’ve been fighting so much lately.”

Derek looked at their clasped hands and then looked around to see if anyone was watching them. “What are you doing?”

Scott tightened his grip on Derek’s hands. “I’m holding your hand. Maybe it’s time for me to branch out a little bit.”

“But Scott, you don’t have to do that just because—”

“Shut up. It’s my turn to talk.” Scott’s voice was gentle but unquestionably serious.

“Are we going to fight about this now? Maybe I’m ready. Maybe I’ve noticed no one seems to give one shit about the fact that you’re gay. Maybe that’s all I needed to see. Everyone has known about you for a month and nothing has happened to you. You’ve become better friends with the people at the dorm. You’re establishing yourself as a respected member of The Alliance. There’s been no fallout as the result of you coming out. Well, aside from Tyrell, but you know what I mean. Maybe that’s all I needed to see.”

Derek was stunned. “You are the most amazing person I’ve ever met. Have I told you how much I love you?”

Scott laughed. “I think you might have mentioned it, but don’t sing my praises too loudly. You just said that you’re the one who’s created all these problems for yourself and put your shit on me. What I’ve realized is I allowed you to take the scary step for both of us. I was able to sit safely back and watch you scramble with fear of alienation. I 197

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knew you wanted me to share the burden, but I was too afraid of what might happen to me if I did. You are one brave motherfucker and I admire you more and more every day. You paved a road on your own and I’ve been beating myself up for supporting your privately. I realized it’s time for me to walk by your side and not in your shadow.”

Derek didn’t know what to say, but didn’t have to wait long before Scott made a decision for them “Come on, let’s go back to the room. There’s something I want to show you.” Scott winked at Derek and his face lit up with pure lust. Derek jumped out of the booth, allowing himself to be led as quickly as possible from the Student Center. Once Scott closed the door behind them, he grabbed Derek by the shoulders and spun him around, pushing him back against the wall. Closing the distance between them, he locked his lips over Derek’s mouth and kissed him with a fierceness Derek had not experienced before. Running his hands over Derek’s body, Scott massaged and tugged at each muscle, causing Derek to feel like the world’s most loved rag doll. Each grunt and groan that Derek emitted seemed to incite greater energy and abandon from Scott and before he knew what was happening, his shirt had been removed and Scott was yanking at his pants, kneeling in front of him on the floor. Derek tried to take off Scott’s shirt, but Scott swiped his hands away with each attempt. Taking him into his mouth, Scott buried his face against Derek’s groin, kneading at Derek’s butt and pulling him closer. The hot wetness and the swirling of Scott’s tongue caused Derek’s muscles to quiver. In all of their sexual encounters, the neediness came on fast, but the actual physical experience was slow and savored. This time there was a fierceness, a hunger, to Scott’s attention. Having his cock encased in Scott’s mouth before he had a chance to register his pants were by his ankles added a level of intensity and pleasure to the moment. Not only were the sensations driving him to a rapid release, but the mind-fuck was intense as well. Finally, Scott stood, and captured Derek in a deep kiss once again. Derek tried to take off Scott’s shirt and this time Scott allowed it, mashing their bodies together once the fabric which separated their skin had been removed.

Scott’s skin was burning with desire. Loving the feel of hot skin on skin, Derek pulled Scott closer, trying to connect as much of their bodies in as many places as possible. As Scott continued kissing him, Derek reached down, unbuttoning his pants and pushing them halfway down Scott’s thighs. It was as far as his arms could reach. Scott shucked his pants off the rest of the way and kicked them across the room. Fully naked, Scott stepped closer to Derek, pushing him back until his entire body was against the wall then pressed their bodies together. Their cocks collided, oozing precum and slicking against each other. “I’m going to do something and I want you to tell me to stop if it makes you uncomfortable.” Scott’s breath was heaving. Slowly, Scott placed his hands on Derek’s shoulders and turned him around, pressing the head of his cock against Derek’s butt. Derek could feel Scott’s shaft slide between his cheeks, the wet slipperiness creating a soothing friction which sent waves 198

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of electricity through his body. Leaning in so his mouth was on Derek’s neck, Scott began to nibble, then bite, at the tender skin. “Tell me if you want me to stop.”

Derek felt Scott’s cock head press against his hole, a grunt emitting from his throat.

“Do you want me to stop?”

Derek’s didn’t respond with words. Instead, he arched his back, giving Scott better access to his ass.

Scott pressed his cock head against Derek’s hole, slowly applying pressure. Derek pushed back with his hips, taking Scott all the way in. The sting caused Derek to suck in air, but it passed quickly, too quickly. There was something deeply satisfying about the roughness of this love making. Leaning his head back against Scott’s shoulder, he released himself into Scott’s control.

Scott was gasping for breath. “Feels so good. So hot inside you.” He slowly pulled out and his body began to shake with his ecstasy. “I can’t believe the feeling. You are so soft inside. Every part of you is setting my nerves on fire.”

Derek knew exactly what he meant. The sensation of having Scott inside of him had always felt incredible to him, but, this time, giving himself over after weeks of withholding, created a mental sensation of submission and vulnerability that intensified his feelings. “I’m already getting close.” Derek hadn’t even touched his cock, yet he could feel the orgasm building inside of him.

Scott began to pound into him at a faster pace. His hands groping at Derek’s chest, pinching his nipples, kneading his pectorals, and sliding gently across his neck. Each touch sent ripples of sensation through Derek, causing him to tremble under Scott’s manipulation. “I’m getting close too.” Scott’s words were barely audible through his grunts and panting.

Derek began to match Scott’s movements by pushing back each time Scott entered him. With each thrust, Derek could feel the head of Scott’s cock as it nudged his prostate. Tingling sensations shot through his body. It felt as if each nerve had been charged and was zipping with a life of its own. “So close. So good.”

Scott grabbed Derek’s hips and began to pump harder. When Scott’s grip tightened, Derek knew he was close and his own muscles loosened to welcome the full length as deep as it could go into his ass.

Scott pushed all the way into Derek and remained there. His head dropped onto Derek’s shoulder and his hissed as Derek felt the hard shaft pulse, unleashing sperm deep inside his body.

Knowing that Scott was coming inside of him threw Derek over the edge. He felt the tingling in his body intensify, then center in his groin. Without ever touching himself, his body was racked by his orgasm and he shot thick streams of sperm onto the wall in front of him.

Once the two were spent and their bodies had calmed down, Scott pulled out of Derek and leaned heavily against him. Derek allowed himself to be pressed against the wall, the cool feeling of the wall’s surface a welcome contrast to the burning of his skin. 199

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Slowly turning around, Derek placed his hands on either side of Scott’s face. Gently pulling Scott in and kissing him with a sweet, loving tenderness. Their lips brushed against each other as if being touched by wisps of air. When Scott opened his mouth to Derek, the kiss remained languid and relaxed.

Scott pulled out of the kiss and looked at Derek. “Are you okay?”

Derek had difficulty focusing, still reeling from what they had just done. “I’m better than okay. That was more intense than anything we’ve ever done before.”

Scott leaned in so their foreheads were touching. “For me, too. Maybe we should get angry at each other more often so we can have hot make-up sex like this.”

Derek smiled. “It was definitely hot, but if we have to fight to have sex like this I think I would rather enjoy the sex we’ve had so far.”

Scott laughed and kissed Derek again. “Maybe you’re right, but it sure will be fun trying to have sex like this again, even if we aren’t making up.”

Derek hugged Scott. “I like the way you think.” He leaned his head against Scott’s shoulder. “We still have one problem to deal with though.”

Scott wrapped his arms around Derek, squeezing him tightly. “Don’t ruin this by bringing up his name.”

Derek allowed Scott to pull him in. He was right, they didn’t need to talk about Tyrell, but at some point they would unless they wanted to have a cloud hanging over them for the next four years.

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Chapter Eighteen

The next morning, the sun was shining brightly, causing the snow covered ground to sparkle. The temperature had dropped significantly overnight and the cold was biting. Derek and Scott worked their way to the cafeteria, bundled up and hugging their jackets tightly around themselves. Once seated, Derek took a sip of his coffee and allowed the hot liquid to warm him from the inside. “It’s cold enough to freeze my nuts off.”