You Only Love Twice (15 page)

“And I prefer Ms. Grant,” Phoebe said as she walked into the
room. “My trigger finger is very precise, not happy, which is why our boy is
standing here right now. I didn’t follow direct orders. I didn’t shoot him and
I wouldn’t have. And I hate flying, so you’ll have to come up with something
better than the no-fly list.”

“How about the APB where I tell them to shoot on sight, bitch?”

“Chelsea, down,” Simon growled.

Phoebe just sent him a sad smile. “Don’t bother. I’m not
going to win with her. We weren’t friends before so there’s no relationship to
fall back on. Also, we’re a little too much alike to ever really get along.”

“As if.” Chelsea didn’t seem ready to give up the fight. “I
want to know why my brother-in-law trusts you to be alone with Jesse.”

“He trusts Ten so he trusts me. He also saw me not pulling
the trigger. Ian and my brother are downstairs right now talking. You could ask
him.”

“Your brother,” Jesse said, testing the words. He was still
having a hard time believing it. “Ten is your brother.”

“Adopted, but yes, we consider each other family. The only
family we have left,” Phoebe replied. “And that stunt he pulled today was
stupid, but I have to admit that if I thought he was going to die, I might do
the same thing.”

“Well, I think this plan is stupid,” Chelsea said, crossing
her arms over her chest.

“This plan depends on you,” Phoebe pointed out. “You and
Adam are supposed to trace the assassin. We’re stuck in here until you do. Are
you telling me you can’t do it?”

Jesse had never heard that challenging tone from her, and he
realized what had been missing from his relationship with her before.
Challenge. Oh, she’d held him off when he’d wanted her, but that desire seemed
like a sad little thing compared to what he felt now. She’d seemed like she
could use a lover and he knew he wanted one.

Had the old Phoebe just been sweet and convenient? Why did
he want to get to know the new one so fucking bad? And yeah, he meant that in a
strictly biblical sense because he wasn’t a fucking idiot. He had to admit, the
new Phoebe got his motor running. Hence the “sharing a bed, bad idea” problem.

Or was it?

“Oh, I’ll do it,” Chelsea said, getting in her space. “I’ll
find this guy and then you can leave, and nothing Ian says or does is going to
change that. I’ll get rid of you myself if I have to.”

“Chelsea,” Simon began, “don’t forget where we are.”

Chelsea turned to her husband. “You can spank my ass all
day, babe, but I’m still saving Jesse from her. God only knows what Ian was
thinking.”

It was good to know someone wanted to save him. He just
wasn’t so sure he wanted to be saved. Now that she was standing here, he was
wondering if it would really be so bad to have a few days with her. He would
never have even thought about seducing Phoebe Graham because she’d seemed so
very fragile, but Phoebe Grant could obviously hold her own.

Would it be so bad to fuck her out of his system? He was
stuck here with her for days, weeks maybe, with very little to do. He could
view it as a challenge. Get her into bed for the duration of their time
together and then wave as she walked away and never think about her again.

“Ian was thinking that this is a fairly safe house. It’s got
security and Jesse and Phoebe are contained. While you conduct your
investigation, they should be safe here.” Simon neatly summed up Big Tag’s
plan.

“Then I should get to work because I don’t want to leave him
for long with that woman.” Chelsea turned on her heels and strode out.

Simon sighed. “I’m sorry. My wife loves very few people, but
when you’re one of them, she loves quite fiercely, though she doesn’t always
see reason. I for one thank you for not pulling that trigger as I was very
close to Jesse at the time and this is my favorite suit,” Simon said with a wry
twist of his lips.

Jesse had to smile. “Yeah, I would never have heard the end
of that. Si, tell Chelsea thanks for picking up my stuff.”

“I’ll take care of your place, and I believe Mr. Smith is
handling things on his sister’s side.” Simon nodded Phoebe’s way. “Are you two
going to be all right?”

“We’ll be fine,” Phoebe said. “I promise I won’t let anyone
kill him. I gave up my cover to save him.”

“Your cover was already blown. See that you don’t fuck up
again. We’ll see you in a few days, Jesse. Or are you planning on skipping
downstairs while you’re here?”

Friday. He was talking about Friday night. Sanctum would be
open for business. He would be stuck here with Phoebe for days. There was no
way he was going to miss playing. “I’ll be there.”

Simon turned to Phoebe. “If you intend to play, Ms. Grant, I
suggest you spend the next few days learning how to behave in this club. Jesse
is the Master here, and he’ll decide if you play or not. You’ll obey him in the
dungeon or you can stay in your room. I assume Tag gave you a contract.”

She suddenly didn’t look so tough. “I’m supposed to read it,
but I’ll probably just stay here.”

Oh, he had to fix that. If one good thing was going to come
from this, he intended to play with her.

“That’s probably for the best,” Simon said. “I’m sure Kori
would be jealous if you didn’t. She sends her love, Jesse.”

“Does she?” Jesse stared at Simon, wondering if he’d lost
his damn mind. Kori was one of the club submissives. She and her friend Sarah
were two of the funniest brats Jesse had ever met, but she certainly wouldn’t
be jealous. She was a friend. He scened with her from time to time, but it was
in a buddy way.

“Yes, she’s worried about you. Call me if you need anything.
We’re all taking shifts watching the club, so don’t think you’re alone.” Simon
closed the door behind him.

Jesse was fairly certain that Kori wasn’t worried about him
since no one would tell her a damn thing. She wasn’t a member of the team, so
no one would mention anything to her. She worked for Kai Ferguson, keeping his
records and making his appointments, which was why she was allowed in the club.
Why would Simon mention her?

“Kori? You have a girlfriend?” Phoebe was staring at him,
her eyes narrowed.

Oh, now he got it. He shrugged. “She’s a friend and a girl.”

“And a play partner, I take it.”

“Sometimes.”

“Well, you never mentioned her before, so I’m a little
surprised to find out that you have a regular woman you see.”

Was she fucking kidding him? “I never mentioned her like you
never mentioned that you weren’t really the person you said you were. Like that
never mentioning her?”

She frowned. “I was surprised because you talked about all
the people in your life, but you never mentioned her. Even when we were dating,
you didn’t mention you had a lover.”

She was so jealous. There was no way to mistake the hard set
of her eyes. She was pissed about Simon mentioning Kori. “Why the hell do you
care?”

“Because whatever I did, I really was your friend. I really
did spend all that time with you. You never told me you were sleeping with
another woman.”

He couldn’t lie to her. Lying would make it that much harder
to get inside her Agency-issued panties. “I don’t sleep with Kori. She’s a
friend. Simon was trying to push you into a corner to see how you would react.
I did, however, sleep with a prostitute for a while. It seemed better than
getting into a relationship with a woman I didn’t really want when the woman I
did want so obviously had no interest in me sexually.”

She flushed, the pinkening of her skin evident even in the
low light of the room. “It wasn’t like that.”

“Wasn’t like what?”

“I didn’t have no interest in you. It’s just…I’m married.”

“You’re a widow.” He’d been told that much. She hadn’t
seemed very willing to talk about her husband or how he died, but Jesse had
been told he’d been Agency and dead for a few years. According to Ten, they’d
all been trained by their adoptive father to enter the CIA.

He was utterly fascinated by her.

“It doesn’t matter, Jesse. As soon as we find the traitor,
I’m going back to Virginia. I’m going back to the Agency and I’ll disappear.
I’m an excellent long-term operative, despite the debacle of today. So no
matter what I do or don’t feel for you and all the others, I will leave and go
back to my real life.” She walked to the window and touched it, tapping gently.
“Bulletproof glass?”

“Tag’s a paranoid freak, but then everyone really is out to
get him.” Weariness bore down on him. It was getting dark. He didn’t want
dinner, didn’t want a shower, didn’t really want to talk. He wanted to sleep
and forget the day had happened. “I’ll sleep in Kai’s room. It’s across the
hall. He’s in DC at some conference. He’s not due to be back for a few days, so
I’ll crash in there.”

“No, you won’t. We’re staying right here, watching each
others backs.” She unzipped her bag and brought out a SIG, checking the clip.
“I had the security feed sent through my computer so if anything happens, we’ll
get an alarm, but we need to stay together.”

“There’s only one bed.” Shit. “I’ll sleep in the chair.”

“Jesse,” she said softly. She laid the SIG down on the
nightstand beside the bed. “It’s a big bed. There’s no reason we can’t both be
comfortable.”

“I probably won’t sleep,” he confessed, but he was already
thinking about how much better it would be to rest beside her. If he got into
bed with her, he had a chance at getting physical. He really wanted that
chance. If she was going to leave, he wanted to know what it felt like to be
inside her, but he had to weigh that against what he knew tended to happen when
he slept. “I have bad dreams sometimes. Really bad dreams. I don’t want to hurt
you.”

“I know,” she said softly. “Despite everything I’ve done to
you, I know you won’t hurt me.”

He wasn’t sure he could hurt her. She would have to really
care about him to be vulnerable, and she’d made it plain that she couldn’t
really care about him.

She looked at him across the bed. “Jesse, I can handle your
bad dreams. And I think we could both use some sleep. It’s been a horrible
day.”

It had and yet he wanted to hold her. The day might not be
so bad if he could hold her. He really was stupid. “All right.”

 
“According to
Chelsea, she’s a genius, so she will find our bad guy with very little trouble.
This shouldn’t take too long.”

It probably wouldn’t. He kicked off his shoes and tossed his
body on his side of the bed. He wasn’t going to argue with her anymore. He
would likely never have taken the chance with her before, but she’d proven herself
to be far tougher than he could have imagined. Hell, if someone had told him
Phoebe knew how to handle a gun, he would have laughed.

She’d really looked competent with that SIG. Kinda hot.
Really hot.

Damn it. New super spy Phoebe was sexier than sweet, needed
protecting Phoebe.

He closed his eyes, wondering how much time he had left with
her and what the hell he was going to do when she was gone. She’d been his goal
for months and months. He’d believed if he could get someone as gentle and
sweet as Phoebe to love him, maybe he would be able to think of himself as
worthy. Love had been his goal. He’d wanted what Li had with Avery. What Sean
had with Grace. A soft, gentle woman to take care of and protect and prove that
he wasn’t some animal.

New Phoebe didn’t need protection. New Phoebe likely didn’t
need him at all. So why did new Phoebe get his dick hard so damn fast? He
turned to his side, away from her because he had a freaking hard-on. Yep, he
was the fidiot who got an erection for the woman who’d lied to him.

He heard her moving around, heard her snap the blinds shut
and close the bathroom door. The door to the bedroom snicked into place and
then everything went dark as she turned off the light.

The bed shifted as she slid under the covers.

“Do you hate me?”

He rolled on his back again. Did he hate her? He should. He
should despise her for what she’d done, but hate seemed to be one thing he
wasn’t capable of. “I’m mad at you, but I don’t hate you.”

A long moment passed between them, and he thought she might
have dropped off to sleep.

“I’m glad because you’re the best friend I’ve made in
years.” She sniffled and turned to her side. “I’m sorry I hurt you. I didn’t
mean to. I really do…I just hope after all this is over that you find someone.
I can’t think of anyone else in the world who deserves it more than you. You’re
going to make someone an amazing husband, Jesse Murdoch.”

The room went quiet again. Jesse stared at the ceiling and
hoped Chelsea and Adam did their jobs as slowly as possible because no matter
what Phoebe said, he intended to get inside her soon. He would let her go on to
her happy Agency job afterward, but he was going to have her.

“So you get to sit around and watch the telly, and Sean
brings you food and Big Tag’s still paying you?” Li asked with a shake of his
head. “Damn me. I need to get a couple of assassins after me, too. Sounds like
heaven.”

“I’d switch places with you,” Jesse admitted. He sighed and
looked out over the club. It was still early in the evening. Not even ten
o’clock, so the scenes hadn’t really started, but most of the team had shown
up. “Who’s got the baby? Or are you here strictly to give me shit?”

Li’s lips curled up in a grin. “Nah, although I do live fer
dat. We turned the conference room into a nursery for the night. I know we
won’t be able to do it once the kiddos are older, but fer now, they’re
perfectly happy pooping in there for the evening. We’re paying a couple of the
subs to watch over them, but they’re mostly asleep.”

He wondered if Phoebe knew the babies were downstairs. It
might get her to come down. “I’m glad you came up with a solution, and my house
arrest hasn’t been all fun. Tag won’t even let me go out into the courtyard.”

There was a small courtyard with a basketball goal and a
couple of benches, but Tag had yelled at him for going out and shooting some
hoops. Apparently snipers were fucking everywhere and they loved to murder
dudes getting some exercise.

“Is she making you crazy then?”

That was part of the problem. He’d spent so much time with
her over the last couple of days that he should be totally sick of her. He’d
eaten every meal with her. Sean brought them dinner, but the morning after
they’d been locked inside, Grace and Serena had shown up with groceries for
breakfast and lunch. He’d expected to eat cereal and sandwiches, but he’d woken
up the morning before and found her making pancakes and bacon. She’d smiled at
him and handed him a cup of coffee. He’d cut up fruit at her direction and
they’d had a good morning. Quiet. Peaceful.

It felt right to be with her.

“No. We’re all right. She just didn’t want to come
downstairs.”

“Is she worried we’re going to attack her? Verbally, that
is. Big Tag told us we couldn’t attack her physically.” His hands went up when
Jesse growled his way. “I wasn’t the one who suggested it. My very lovely lady
pit bull partner did. I had a talk with Erin. She’s going to play it cool,
though I think we should just put them in a ring full of Jell-O and see how
things go.”

Actually, that wasn’t an unpleasant idea. “Tell me what’s
happening in the outside world. Sean is the only one I see on a daily basis,
and he talks about what wine we should drink with dinner. I don’t drink wine.”

Li chuckled a little. “That’s Sean for you. Do you want a
rundown of active cases or do you just want me to get to the good stuff?”

“Have they found anything out?” There was really only one
case he desperately wanted an update on, and that was his. “All Big Tag will
tell me is they’re working on it.”

“Whoever it is, he’s good. He’s careful. We think he’s
likely been in place for years and has only been called into service recently.
There’s a reason Chelsea and Adam can’t find anything.”

Because there wasn’t anything to find. It was why sleepers
were so very dangerous. They could use non-traceable forms of communication.
The US Postal Service didn’t keep records of the mail they delivered. All
anyone needed was a stamp and if the person on the other end of the letter was
smart enough to burn it, then there was no evidence the communication ever
existed. It required patience, but it was possible to stay off the grid. “Is
Chelsea okay?”

“She’s impossible. Simon had to order her to sleep.” Li
leaned forward, the light from the bar illuminating his face. “I’ve been
thinking about something.”

Jesse leaned in. Li O’Donnell wasn’t considered the brains
of the operation, but Jesse had learned that when Li got serious, it was time
to listen. He often saw things the others didn’t, had insights that escaped
everyone else. “What?”

“Why would a sleeper come after you? I can’t get it out of
me head. A sleeper like this is a valuable asset. Intelligence agencies will
spend years developing an operative like this. Ten’s team was only recently put
together, and every single man on it came from Special Forces or something like
it. These weren’t new recruits. They’re the best of the best.”

“They should totally be killing someone more important than
me.” Jesse understood what he was saying. Put like that it really didn’t make a
lot of sense.

“Exactly. Ten’s unit has access to any manner of top secret
information. Hell, they provide security in foreign countries for some
high-ranking diplomats and politicians. This sleeper could go after anyone. Why
you?”

“I don’t know.”

“That’s what we need to figure out. While Chelsea and Adam
chase their tails, I’m going to study you. You’re the answer. You’re the one
who leads us to the sleeper. This is about you. We have to figure out why they
want you dead.”

“Has anyone else like me died recently? You know, a soldier
held prisoner?”

“No. I checked that first. I’m also looking at Ten’s group
for the likeliest suspects. Ten swears he’s the only one who knew that number,
but unlike our paranoid boss, Ten’s lazy. He had the phone transferred in from
the head office. There’s a record of it in the system. Chelsea did find that.”

“Then it could be anyone.”

“No. Phoebe’s name and location are only on a NOC list. If
someone’s got hold of that, we’re in for a lot more trouble.”

NOC stood for non-official cover. It was the way the Agency
kept up with who was where and what name they were going under. It was highly
classified. “So you think they found out through some other means?”

“Again, Ten’s been a little comfy. He calls her once a week
and they’ve met three times in the last year. He could have been followed any
of those times. Someone put it together and decided that she was the easiest
way to get rid of you.” Li settled his beer on the counter. “The question
becomes why not just take you out himself. The answer—because he’s got eyes on
him. Because he’s got a team around him that might ask questions. That tells me
whoever is pulling the strings doesn’t want to lose his puppet, but he was
willing to take the chance.”

“And when he decides to sacrifice his pawn, he’ll do
something desperate. He’ll come after me himself.”

“I wouldn’t worry too much about that. You’re safe here.
It’s more secure than a prison, and someone is always watching. Also, I’ve been
informed your girl doesn’t intend to let you die. Kai will be back tomorrow,
too. I think he looks like a hippie surfer, but Ian swears he’s deadly.”

Jesse had kind of hoped he could avoid Kai altogether. Kai
had been his therapist for months and he liked the man, but Kai was not going
to take his decision to leave at the end of this well. Jesse could practically
hear the lecture. “Let’s hope he doesn’t have anything to worry about. I doubt
the sleeper is going to invade Sanctum the way Ten did. I’m probably stuck here
for a while. At least Big Tag springs for cable.”

Li slapped him on the shoulder. “Don’t worry. We’ll figure
this out. Now the question is what do we do about your problem?”

“I thought we just talked about that.”

“I was referring to getting Phoebe to come out of her
hidey-hole so you can play with her. Tell me you don’t want to play with the
girl. Or have you been playing privately?”

Jesse snorted and thought about having another piña colada.
Two was the set limit at Sanctum if a Dom or sub wanted to play, but Jesse
rarely had more than one. Maybe he should just be honest with himself and
acknowledge the fact that he didn’t want to play if he couldn’t play with her.
“No. The only games we’ve played are board games, and I’m pretty sure she
cheats. Can you cheat at Jenga?”

Li grinned, the smile making him look younger than normal.
“I bet she could find a way. The Agency likes their operatives to be wily
ones.” He sobered slightly. “So why isn’t she really down here? Are you not
getting on now that she doesn’t cry at the drop of a hat?”

“She didn’t cry that much and we’re getting along all
right.” When he really thought about it, the last several days had been
peaceful. He’d enjoyed her company, and she’d actually talked to him. The night
before they’d had something called osso buco, and she’d drank some of the wine
Sean had brought and Jesse had enjoyed a beer. They’d sat in front of the fire
in Kai’s living room and talked about where they grew up. Jesse had told her
about Wyoming and she’d talked about horse country in Virginia. She’d even talked
a bit about her husband and some of the trouble they’d gotten into as teens. “I
like her.”

“I could tell. You know, I’m glad my wife understood why I
did what I did. We wouldn’t be together if she’d taken a hard line against men
who met her under false pretenses. Unlike Chelsea, who curses the poor woman’s
very name, I understand the position Phoebe was in. Yes, she lied, but it was
her job. All I’m saying is if you want the girl, get her. Don’t be afraid the
rest of us are going to think poorly of you or that we won’t accept her. I
guarantee this will be nothing but a tale to tell your kiddos one day. Go
upstairs and coax her down. She’ll see it’s not so bad.”

He wanted her. His need to seduce and dump her had lasted an
entire night. When he’d woken up next to her that first morning, she’d been
curled up against him and all of his badassed revenge had gone up in smoke.
That was who he was. He was surrounded by men who understood what vengeance
meant, but he was a puppy begging for affection. He was exactly what the Caliph
had called him. A dog. Dumb. Loyal when he shouldn’t be. He shook his head.
“No, she’s fine where she is. She’s nervous about the BDSM stuff. We went over
the contract and I explained how things work in the dungeon, but she decided it
wasn’t for her. She’s going to read or something.”

“Little chicken,” Li said, taking another beer from the
bartender. “If there was ever a woman who needed some dominance, it’s that one.
Scared of her own shadow. She could use some discipline.”

“She was only pretending to be skittish, Li.”

“Perhaps, but I think it’s interesting that she chose that
persona to hide behind. You know as well as I do that it’s best to stick close
to your own self when going undercover. She decided to be the girl everyone
worried about, the girl all the other women tried to protect. That says
something about her.”

He hadn’t thought of it that way. “She was raised in foster
care until she was a teen.”

“There you go. That makes sense then. She spent her whole
life taking care of herself. She chose to be a person who needed to be
protected. Do you understand?”

Jesse shook his head. “I don’t understand a damn thing about
her.”

“Well, that’s because she’s a woman. I love my Avery, but I
rarely understand why she does the things she does. I only know that I’ll do
anything at all to make sure she keeps doing them. That woman’s a mystery to me
and I won’t ever finish solving her.”

Phoebe was completely a mystery. So was his reaction to her.
Not one single dream. He’d slept better than he ever had. He didn’t even wake
up when she rolled out of bed. It was incomprehensible to him.

Li looked up, his eyes widening slightly. “Well, it looks
like you were wrong about her.”

Jesse followed his line of sight and his jaw damn near
dropped.

Phoebe walked into the bar wearing the clothes he’d put out
for her earlier that day. He’d laid them out with very little hope that he’d
see her in them. A scarlet corset sat over a tiny spandex miniskirt that
revealed far more than it covered. He’d left out the fishnet hose that had come
with the outfit because he would rather see her legs. Her feet were bare,
showing off the way her toes were painted a hot pink.

“Hi.” She stepped up to the bar. “Can I have one or is that
something just for the Doms?”

Li eased off his barstool. “I’ll leave you two. Phoebe, you
look lovely.”

She frowned. “Really?”

“Really. Welcome to Sanctum. Jesse, don’t let that one get
too far away. Every unattached Dom in the place will be after her.” Li nodded
toward the dungeon. “Big Tag is here with Charlotte. He’s doing some kind of
exhibition where he spins around floggers like a bloody baton twirler. What’s
the world coming to?”

Jesse sort of, kind of realized Li was walking away. His
whole focus was on the woman in front of him. “You can have a drink. I suggest
one before and one after.”

“After?” She tugged at her skirt as she tried to get on the
barstool. “Does this have to be so short?”

“If you don’t like it I could exchange it for a thong.” He
thought he’d been pretty damn kind to give her a sort of skirt.

“That’s worse.” She cursed under her breath.