You Should Smile (7 page)

“I get it.  I’m sorry for saying those things.  I’m in this, too, you know….”  And wanting to change the subject from something I was tired of thinking about, I added, “You’ve made my libido happy at least, Dr. Breed With Me.”  I actually giggled, yes giggled, as he lurched forward and tried to swat my ass again and I evaded his hand.  I skipped off toward my apartment.

When I got to the doorstep, I turned around and he still stood there, cocking his head and grinning.  Without thinking (of course), I yelled out, “Hey, Pickup Grinner, did you ever wear braces?”

He looked at me quizzically and responded, “Yeah.  In high school.  Why?”

“Just wondering,” I yelled back, smiling.

I watched him shake his head and grin as he got into his truck and left.

You know that part of the movie where the main characters officially cross that line and then you wonder how that
next
meeting between them will go?  I thought about our parking lot tryst all night long and worried if he’d regret it the next day.  I didn’t regret it.  Should I?  It was all I could seem to think about.

I’d find out soon.  Some departments were asked to sign up for a volunteer community service project long ago and it was set for the next morning.  Grant, Ethan, and I had been the only ones to sign up.  Melissa, of course, had “other stuff” to do, though I’m sure she just didn’t want to get her pretty little hands dirty.  I’d heard through the grapevine that Thad was organizing the project so I assumed he’d be there.  How would he act when he saw me again?  Would he act differently?  Would I?  Would it be written all over our faces?  “Hey everybody, Thad made Shay’s libido so happy last night that she giggled!”

I also worried about keeping it from Grant.  He was my best friend in the world, but he could not keep a secret for anything.  At the same time, he had this radar-like ability to tell when something was different about me.  Would I be able to hold him off?  For how long?  Plus, I’m not a girl who likes to kiss and tell anyway.  This was going to require an acting role worthy of an Oscar on my part.  Move over, Meryl.

I’d planned to meet Grant and Ethan at the site.  I was thankful that I was driving separately.  That way, I could bolt if necessary.  My mantra:  Always have an exit strategy from a potentially awkward situation.  Honestly, a huge part of me (my now happy libido) was looking forward to seeing Thad again, but another part (my weary heart) didn’t really want to face him yet, either.  Bipolar, remember? 

I got in my car and started following the directions toward downtown.  I drove through the city side lanes and streets until I was in an area I’d been to, but only a few times.  People talked about that part of town in a whisper, as if saying it out loud made it worse in their own minds.  This was “the other side of the tracks”, the so-called “bad part” of town.  I finally came to the address and parked on the street in front of a lot with a house being built.

A huge sign in the yard read, “A Hand UP:  A Grandfather Abraham Construction Property.”  I opened the car door and headed off toward the site, where dozens of people were milling about.  Some were nailing down boards, some were cutting boards, some were picking up debris.  It looked like the frame of the house was going up.  As I passed, I met a number of smiling faces and kind eyes.     

I saw him from afar.  He was bent over a table, looking at some documents.  His back was turned to me.  He looked amazing, as usual.  A ratty t-shirt stretched across his sweaty chest.  Torn blue jeans hanging low from his hips.  And his ass.  His perfect, baseball-playing ass.  An elderly African-American man was standing beside him.  I slowed in my steps and looked around for Grant and Ethan.  I didn’t see them.  I thought seriously about leaving.  Very seriously.

Then the elderly man noticed me.  He gave me a toothy grin.  Too late.  I’d been spotted.  He nudged Thad and pointed toward me.  Thad turned around.

There it was.  That moment in the movie when their eyes meet and some sort of message is channeled.  What message was he sending me?  His creasing grin told me that the moment was a safe one.  I still felt awkward, remembering his hands up my dress the night before, but I continued toward him, returning the smile.

“Hi Shay.”  His deep voice resonated in the warm summer air. 

“Hi Thad.”  I tried to act nonchalant, as if his very presence didn’t affect me the way it did.

He turned to the man beside him.  “Roscoe, this is Shay.”

The elderly man gave me his toothy grin again and held out his worn hand.  I shook it.  “Nice to meet you, Miss Shay.”

“Nice to meet you, too, Roscoe.”  

Roscoe looked toward Thad again and grinned.  “She’s got a pretty smile there, Boss.”

Thad nodded at him and a faint smile crossed his lips.  He then looked over at me and said, “She sure does, Roscoe.”

Tingles.  Up my spine.  In my heart.  Through my soul.

My phone buzzed and I looked down to see a text from Grant:

“Sorry, but Ethan and I can’t make it today.  We both have some sort of stomach virus.  Sucks.  Don’t kill me.  I waited until you were already there to tell you so you wouldn’t leave.  Yes, I know you well, Princess.  You’ll survive.”

I huffed and then looked up to explain their absence to Thad.  He nodded.  “Hate to hear that.  Hope they feel better soon.”

Then he cleared his throat, seeming uncomfortable with the moment.  “Well, uh, let me show you around.  I can tell you about the project and what you’ll be doing.”

“Sure,” I said, as I stepped up to follow him. 

“This is one of our newest ones.  It’s gonna house people who are homeless.  We’ve also built houses for those recovering from drugs and for under-privileged members of our community who just need a leg up.”  He turned to me and looked grim.  “Everyone deserves a chance, you know?  Some people aren’t born with the same opportunities we’ve had.  We give them a chance.  That’s all.  If they fuck it up, depending on the situation, they may get another one, but this isn’t a handout.  It’s a hand to help them climb UP. That’s where the name comes from.”

I was truly impressed. “Wow.  It sounds like such a fantastic program.  You know so much about it…..You must’ve volunteered here for a long time.”

He stopped in his tracks and turned to face me.  Confusion flashed across his face before he finally began to smile faintly.  “Well, I uh….”

From the corner of my eye, I noticed a woman coming up behind us from the parking lot, calling his name.  She looked to be in her late 50s probably, and as she neared, I recognized those deep blue eyes.  Thad froze, the surprise in his voice evident.  “Mom!  I didn’t know you were gonna be on site today.”

She kissed him on the cheek.  “Hey sweetie.  I know.  My appointment with the Mayor was cancelled, so I thought I’d come on by and help some.”  Then, her smiling eyes turned to me and she held out both hands for me to take.  “And who do we have here?  I’m Gloria Atherton.”  She smiled broadly and squeezed my hands. 

I smiled at her and squeezed back.  “I’m Shay Elliott.  It’s nice to meet you.”  Then, my brain processed what she’d just said…..Gloria….Gloria Atherton.

I blurted out, “Gloria Atherton??  THE Gloria Atherton?”  My mouth was open as I stared at her.

She looked a little uncomfortable for a second and she glanced at Thad, confused.  He nodded at her, sending a silent signal of some type.  Her smile returned to me and she said softly, “Yes, dear.  That’s me.  You’ve heard of me, I guess?”  Her eyes held curiosity.

“Heard of you?” I breathed.  “I’m a political science graduate student.  I study political communication.  I’ve studied….well, I’ve studied you.  I’ve studied how you challenged segregation in housing and public accommodations….how you joined forces with black leaders to organize via local black churches.  You’re a legend…..”  I was blurting this out with no filter, still in shock.  Then a further realization hit.  “Wait…that means that your father….your father….”  My stomach turned and my hands started sweating. 

She rubbed my hands with hers and pulled me in for another hug.  “Yes, dear.  Abraham Atherton was my father.  God rest his soul.”  She looked to the sky and smiled wistfully. 

This was too much to take in at once.  What was going on?  I felt like I was on an episode of Punk’d.  I kept waiting for Ashton Kutcher to jump out and start laughing.  I’m not a Hollywood star and I know he only did that to stars, but whatever.  It was a strange feeling.

I continued blurting.  “I included a case study about Abraham Atherton in my dissertation….how he used political communication through legal language and precedent to set up a later national Civil Rights Movement….how the judiciary can be used to affect political revolutions….He was a brilliant attorney…..a brilliant man…..” I became uncomfortable with my own gushing and quickly trailed off.  Then, I whispered, “I didn’t know.  I mean, I didn’t have any idea….” 

I looked to Thad pleadingly for explanation and saw that he was looking down at the ground, jaw set.  My face fell as I took it all in.  I said out loud, to no one in particular, “Thad is Abraham Atherton’s grandson and Gloria Atherton’s son….I had no idea.”  I felt like a fool.  My face blushed blood red once again.  Did anyone else know?  Well, of course other people knew!  Some of Thad’s earlier comments came flooding back – everything he’d said about his relationship with his beloved grandfather. 

“Abraham, Thad’s grandfather, who was a
carpenter
and taught Thad his
carpentry
skills…..Abraham who reminds him of Atticus Finch…..”  I looked toward Thad again and addressed him directly.  “All those times we discussed the case study about Abraham Atherton in my dissertation….”  Then, the worst realization of them all…. “That’s why Grambling wanted you on my committee.  That’s why you
have
to be on it.  That’s why it’s so
important
that you are….”

I held my breath.  My hands began to shake and Gloria noticed my discomfort.  Why wouldn’t he mention this?  Isn’t that weird that he didn’t?

Gloria cleared her throat and glared at Thad.  “Well, dear, Thad has always been uncomfortable talking about things
he
doesn’t consider important.  What he doesn’t realize is that information like this may be important to others.  When he was born, I stupidly agreed to put his biological father’s last name on the birth certificate, so Thad’s been able to avoid the Atherton reputation when he wants to….”

I glanced at Thad and he finally met my eyes.  He looked fearful – scared of my reaction.  It wasn’t anger I was feeling, though.  It was surprise.  Confusion.  It’s like that part of the movie where you find out that the main character is really someone else entirely, a completely separate identity. 

He finally said, “Mom, can you give us a sec?  We’ll be over to help out in just a minute.”

She looked between us and a knowing look flashed across her face.  She knew.  She saw it all.  Now I really felt awkward.  She smiled sweetly and nodded, turning to me.  “Absolutely.  It’s so nice to meet you, Shay.  Good luck with your studies.”  She leaned in to hug me and whispered in my ear, “I approve.  Just be careful, my dear.  I don’t want to see either one of you get hurt.”  I hugged her back tightly, but shook my head slightly to pretend like I didn’t know what she was talking about.

She turned to Thad.  “Don’t screw this up any more than you already have.”

He looked bewildered as she walked off.  He turned to me.  “What’d she say to you?”

I smiled guiltily.  “Nothing.”

He knew I was lying, but he didn’t press it.  “Shay, I wanted to tell you.  I did.  It’s just that…..You have no idea how many people have used me in the past because of my family name.  I hate being judged by my family.  I just wanted you to get to know me for ‘me’.  I don’t know why that was so important to me, but it was….”  He trailed off, then began again, softer this time.  “My grandfather
was
a carpenter and an attorney…..just like I’m a carpenter and a professor.” 

“I just wish I’d known.  It would’ve made more sense as to why you had to be on my committee.  I feel like a fool.”

“You’re not a fool, Shay…..Can you imagine what it would’ve been like if I’d told you from the beginning?  Telling someone who’s researching a subject with such passion that I’m related to that subject?  It would be like telling a psychology student that I was a descendent of Pavlov or something…..Well, okay, maybe not as important as fucking Pavlov, but you know what I mean.  You’d have never gotten to know
me
.  You would’ve always seen me as Abraham’s grandson…”

I saw the fear in his eyes.  It’d really mattered to him.  I was both flattered and offended at the same time.  “I hope you know by now that I’m not that superficial.”  I paused to try to see it from his point of view.  I realized that his fears were misguided for another reason.  “To tell you the truth, though, I think the opposite would’ve happened.  I’d have been too intimidated by you.  I run away when uncomfortable.  I wouldn’t have superficially liked you more because of it; I would’ve
avoided
you because of it.”

He smiled faintly and nodded in understanding.  “I should’ve told you.  Even though it was wrong, though, I don’t regret getting to know you like that.  I don’t.”

I looked up at him.  “I understand why you did it….”  My voice trailed off and I mumbled, “….and I guess I’m glad you didn’t tell me, in the end…”

He grinned broadly, creases and all.  “What was that?”

I looked away.  “Nothing.”  I was trying not to smile.

He was still grinning, teasing.  “Oh, I thought you said something.  Something about me being right?”

I met his eyes again, defiant.  “Nope.  Didn’t say that…..”  I teased back, “Any other surprises in store?”

He grimaced.  My eyebrows went up. 

“Well, I uh….”  He shuffled his feet.  Then, he grinned sheepishly.  “I may have a little bit of money.  You know, the whole Atherton name and all.”

You know that part of the movie where you find out that the hero is really a prince, or rich, or a famous star or something?  It’s so trite, that’s what you’re thinking.  Overdone.  Overused.  I know, but it happened, nonetheless.