12 Good Reasons to Look Up Uranus (20 page)

Lucky snack:
Monster Munch

Lucky stitch:
Buttonhole

T
AURUS

Strong aspects between the Sun and Mars, and the Sun and Uranus are going to bring some changes that you might not like. Don’t let anyone pressure you into doing
something that you feel instinctively is not for you. Nude skydiving is all very well, but you still have bitter memories, frostbite scars and the chafe-marks from the last time.

Lucky cat:
Manx

Lucky Church:
Charlotte

G
EMINI

Venus is now in Libra and, under this influence, romantic developments are likely. There may also be something that you’ve been wrestling with in recent weeks. After
Tuesday’s New Moon, you will see an end to both issues when you buy larger trousers and begin a torrid affair with the person you meet on the checkout desk in M&S.

Lucky match:
Swan Vesta

Lucky length:
Cubit

C
ANCER

Things will improve as your ruler, the Moon, moves into the sociable sign of Libra on Tuesday. You may receive unexpected visitors from the local operatic society in the early
hours of Wednesday morning, so it may be best to make sure you have enough digestives and Jaffa-cakes on hand. Toward the end of the week, you may find yourself indecisive about yoghurt
flavours.

Lucky teeth:
Premolars

Lucky tongue:
Aramaic

L
EO

This could be quite a momentous week for you. Your ruler, the Sun, finds itself square Mars yet trine Uranus, planet of surprises. This can mean only one thing: your
application to become the Vice-President of Burundi has not only been read, but actively considered. The only thing that can stand in your way now is that overdue library book.

Lucky finish:
Dead-heat

Lucky cloth:
Poplin

V
IRGO

From Tuesday onwards, new openings present themselves, and you’ll be glad in a week or so if you have left behind any arguments, grudges or specialist equipment from the
relationship with the village postmistress. A trine Jupiter indicates that you will become more and more interested in cattle wrangling as the year progresses, but it’s probably a bit early
to buy your own chaps yet. Keep renting for now.

Lucky motto:
Yeee-Haww!

Lucky approach:
Oblique

L
IBRA

If Libra is rising in your chart, the new possibilities brought in by the New Moon could include some very exciting developments to do with puff pastry and the Archbishop of
Canterbury. Toward the end of the week, as a special treat, you could dye that old grey cardigan purple and watch people’s reactions the next time you turn up to windsurfing classes at the
college.

Lucky maple:
Acer Palmatum

Lucky hedge:
Box

S
CORPIO

A passion that has been important to you up to now may cool a bit later this week. Give it time and await developments. Not everybody will understand quite how important
bread-sauce has been to you over the last year. By the weekend, you will begin to appreciate that you are never happier than when you have some on, though it can get sticky under your arms and does
make your shoes squelch a bit.

Lucky dish:
Satellite

Lucky matting:
Coconut

S
AGITTARIUS

This week, action is the key. Decide quickly, taking advantage of the tremendous astrological energy around at the start of the week, and move on to the next stage; Before you
proceed, just double-check that you have adequate insurance as an escaped wolverine in the boot of your car may prove to be more difficult to remove than it was last time.

Lucky green:
Lincoln

Lucky monopoly piece:
The boot

C
APRICORN

There is a lot is going on around you and you can see clearly what needs to be done. You’re in a good position to do something about it, but you may encounter stern
opposition from the London Community Gospel Choir. Don’t be put off now, you have already invested heavily in the wind-turbine and obtained local planning permission, so there may be enough
impetus to carry the day.

Lucky shape:
Rhombus

Lucky watch:
Black

A
QUARIUS

In recent weeks you’ve felt held back. After Tuesday’s New Moon you can begin to move forward with confidence. In fact, if you have felt yourself to be blocked at
every turn, Tuesday marks the moment when you realise that you have been trying to cycle with your foot-stand down. You may be bitten by a Zulu in Hyde Park on Thursday, so make sure you have the
Germolene with you.

Lucky streak:
The Derby & Joan Club

Lucky paste:
Wallpaper

P
ISCES

Mercury, planet of communications, signifies that travel may feature strongly this week when you discover an old map in the drawer lining of a Victorian fighting-desk. On
closer examination, the map seems to be signed A.S. which you take to be Arne Saknussemm, the man who discovered the cave leading to the centre of the earth. Try to obtain permission from Johanna
Sigur
∂
ardóttirr, the Prime Minister of Iceland, before setting off.

Lucky eggs:
Florentine

Lucky Pope:
Pius X

A
RIES

Sunday’s square between the Sun and your ruler, Mars, indicates that your feet won’t touch the ground much this week. While shopping for cat-litter on Tuesday, the
voluminous cloak you wear to prevent people recognising you while shopping at Aldi is caught by a freak tornado. You manage to survive on a packet of Munchies and half a bottle of lemonade before
you are deposited, unharmed, outside Sainsbury’s on Thursday.

Lucky polish:
Duraglit

Lucky implement:
Nail clippers

T
AURUS

Mercury turns direct early in the week, and all kinds of obstacles should just melt away. However, this will be a gradual effect and should probably not be relied on if driving
at more than thirty miles per hour. If there has been some kind of legal issue troubling you, the situation will improve by the weekend when the person causing the problems drowns in a vat of
tapioca.

Lucky topping:
Spoon of jam

Lucky look:
Smug

G
EMINI

Mercury, your ruler, turns direct this week, bringing you opportunities and solutions in equal measure. Whether it’s making career plans, organising your personal life,
or planning a comeback on the pro-celebrity jelly-wrestling circuit, this is the week to do it. By the weekend things will have returned to normal and you will develop a painful boil.

Lucky antiseptic:
TCP

Lucky expression:
Pained

C
ANCER

With a focused mind, you can manage all sorts this week. By Tuesday, you should have managed to divide a large tin into the black liquorice sticks that not many people like,
the strange bobbly blue or pink ones that are just as unpopular, leaving the rest in the tin. With Halloween fast approaching, you may want to save the unpopular ones for trick-or-treaters.

Lucky gloves:
Marigold

Lucky doors:
Saloon

L
EO

This month has not been the easiest, as hitches and mistakes seemed to crop up everywhere. Now, with Mercury turning direct, things should improve no end. By the end of the
week, you will discover that a recent note to the milkman has been nominated for both a Pulitzer and Nobel Prize for Literature. It’s probably a bit early to get your hopes up or to write a
speech until Mars transits your birthsign later in the month.

Lucky magnet:
Horseshoe

Lucky invertebrate:
Slug

V
IRGO

This could be a difficult week. On Wednesday, you will be the victim of someone else’s dishonesty or incompetence. However, once your ruler, Mercury, turns direct, on
Friday, you feel much more positive and have a brighter outlook on events; besides which, you will have befriended guards and fellow prisoners alike with your nightly ‘personal
puppetry’ shows with a torch and old blanket

Lucky suit:
Striped

Lucky soap:
Coal tar

L
IBRA

This week should favour all manner of business negotiations, discussions and contracts, and you should stick to your guns. However, if your palms are still a little sweaty and
causing the pearl handles on your Colt Peacemakers to slip when drawing in a hurry, try a little weightlifting resin for extra grip.

Lucky manoeuvre:
Heimlich

Lucky fish:
Grayling

S
CORPIO

If you have been waiting to move house, but encountering obstacles, the wheels should begin to turn once the bricks have been removed by mischievous children on Wednesday. You
may want to wait for a tow bar to be fitted to your car rather than relying too heavily on gravity and momentum to do the work for you.

Lucky sensation:
Falling

Lucky department:
Accident & Emergency

S
AGITTARIUS

Usually, you make quite an impact on the world. This week, try to tread a little more lightly as the bill from the local Council for broken paving slabs is starting to mount
up. You might want to consider shedding a little weight anyway, particularly as your last passport photograph had to be taken from Google Earth.

Lucky waist:
Elasticated

Lucky shop:
Cash & Carry

C
APRICORN

This is the time to seize all of the unexpected opportunities that are coming your way. Career matters should move ahead, although you need to look carefully at the small print
in any offer that involves working with ferrets. On Friday, Jupiter goes trine which usually causes your ingrown toenails and Athlete’s Foot to flare up.

Lucky stew:
Irish

Lucky dumpling:
Onion

A
QUARIUS

Luck could be on your side in many ways, but don’t commit to anything yet. Mars is about to move into your sign, and by then you’ll know exactly what you think
about taking on the additional responsibility of driving the Eurostar part-time while still holding down your day job. By Thursday the tests will have confirmed that it is Starlings after all.

Lucky flan:
Egg and bacon

Lucky valve:
Thermostatic

P
ISCES

Take a deep breath and nicely but firmly put your point of view to anyone who you feel has been asking too much of you, or has just been ‘looking at you a bit
funny’. The chances are that this week you will be understood. Benevolent Jupiter enters your seventh house on Wednesday, which means that even if it does result in a fight, you will win and
there will be no witnesses.

Lucky punch:
Uppercut

Lucky wine-bar:
Scuffles

A
RIES

Your ruler, Mars, is now in unpredictable Aquarius, and is about to conjoin Neptune. This just could be the month that your dreams become reality. However, it’s probably
best not to get too optimistic as the dreams in question may be the ones where all of your dining room furniture comes to life, grows claws and chases you down the road.

Lucky tea:
Earl Grey

Lucky biscuit:
Chocolate Hobnob

T
AURUS

The Full Moon in your sign on Thursday may be an emotional time. Just hang on in there. Keep your wits about you, particularly if Taurus is rising in your chart. On Friday,
there could be some significant developments on the matrimonial front. If you are already married, you might want to consider declaring yourself in favour of a multi-partner arrangement before
going any further. These things can often cause offence.