A Healing Heart (20 page)

“
Collin, I’m so proud of you! I have a little graduation present for you, but it’s in the car.”

“
I can’t wait to see it.”

Savannah’s parents, Shane and Lynette, had reached the group now and were congratulating Collin. They told Collin how proud they were of him and that it was hard to believe he had grown up right under their noses. Before long, our little group grew when Quinn’s family joined us.

Laughter and hugs were passed around. Everyone was trying to figure out where they were going for a celebration dinner. I noticed that Savannah had slid closer to where we were standing. Quinn was standing next to her, and they were chatting about Las Vegas and the heat. I could make out most of what they were saying. I was curious but, at the same time, trying not to pay much attention to Savannah. I figured the less I focused on her, the saner I could stay. She got under my skin, and I didn’t like her one bit.

I was crouched down talking to Lacey when I sensed Savannah and Quinn’s slight movement toward us as Savannah was chatting away. Something wasn’t right, and I stood up to focus on what was being said.

“
Yeah, didn’t you know? They’re moving in less than two weeks,” I heard Savannah say to Quinn.

“
Moving? Who’s moving?” The questions slipped from my lips before I could fully digest what Savannah was saying. I saw Quinn’s expression, and I felt a shiver of fear chase down my spine. I knew in my heart I didn’t want the answer to the questions I had just asked.

“
Collin’s family. Oh my, didn’t you know? They’re moving to Las Vegas in two weeks. My dad got Jared a job with his company,” Savannah explained in a tone just dripping with sweet innocence.

I felt like I was going to faint. I knew the color left my face when Quinn took a step closer to me. I turned to face Collin, my sweet Collin. It couldn’t be true; it had to be another lie from Savannah. Collin would have told me. I looked deep into his eyes and saw the hurt in them and knew in that instant it was the truth.

“
Collin? Is it true?” My words were barely a whisper.

His eyes closed as he took a deep breath. “Yes. I just didn’t know how to tell you. I wanted to so many times, but it was never the right moment.”

My safe world that I knew deep down couldn’t last was indeed shattering around me, just as I had feared that it would. Tears were forming in my eyes, and I brushed them back before they could spill down my face.

“
How long have you known?”

“
Awhile.”

“
How long?”

“
Since the end of spring break, right before Savannah’s family left.”

“
Spring break?” the words squeaked out. “That was over two months ago. When exactly were you going to say something? Or were you just going to leave?” The anger was starting to fester, burning deep inside me.

“
Bailey, come on. Let’s go talk about this.”

“
No. You’ve had plenty of time to tell me and you didn’t. I trusted you, I believed in you, and you couldn’t tell me this? You let me go on thinking you would be there. You lied to me.”

“
Bailey, it’s not how it seems.”

“
No? Then why? Why keep this from me?” I could see everyone in our group watching us. Natasha was at my side; I could feel her arm on my shoulder.

“
Come on, let’s go talk. I’ll explain everything.”

“
No.”

I was losing control, and I knew it. Not wanting to be the center of attention any longer, I extracted myself from Collin’s restraining hand. Immediately, I felt as if I had been ripped in two, like a piece of me was left behind. Turning away, I ran for my car, swerving in and out of all the happy people around me. I could barely see them: the tears streaming down my face turned them all into a blur of color. Natasha was calling for me, asking me to stop, but I couldn’t; I had to get to my car and get out of here. Collin’s voice was mixed in there as well, but his broken leg slowed him down. I knew I only had a slight head start.

Finally reaching my car, I unlocked the door and slid in. My eyes caught on Collin’s gift sitting on the seat almost as if it was taunting me. The sobs were tearing through my body as I raced out of the parking lot. Natasha and Collin were just mere specks in the rearview mirror.

The pain cut so deeply into my heart and soul, I trembled. I felt out of control, spinning, uncertain of which way was up. How could he have kept this from me for so long? When was he going to tell me? It made me doubt and question everything. What other things had he kept from me, shielded from me? We could have prepared, made plans, worked things out. Now I wondered, was it all real? Somehow I’d known deep down things were just too good to be true. As much as I wanted the entire fairy tale, the happy ending, I knew it was just that—a fairy tale, and fairy tales didn’t come true in real life. I had gotten swept up in the thrill, the excitement, and thinking maybe, just maybe, fairy tales could come true, but I was wrong.

I drove around aimlessly for a couple of hours, just thinking. The sun was setting and bright pinks and oranges tinged the sky, but I could barely see the colors or the beauty. It was as if everything was shaded in that old familiar washed-out gray color, like the light in my life had just been snuffed out—again.

Finding myself back at my aunt and uncle’s house, I decided it was probably best if I went inside to my room. I needed to just be alone. Picking up Collin’s gift off of the passenger seat, I walked quietly inside. As I entered the hallway, I ran into my aunt.

“
Bailey, are you okay? Collin’s been by here twice and called almost every fifteen minutes worried about you, saying you aren’t answering your cell. What happened?”

“
It’s nothing.”

“
Nothing? Come on, honey, I can see with my own eyes this isn’t ‘nothing.’ You look horrible, you have mascara streaked all the way down your face, and your eyes are red. What is going on?”

“
Nothing.”

I turned and ran up the stairs into my room, slamming the door shut. I tossed the present on my desk and flung myself on my bed, burying my head in the pillows. I let myself really cry now, the tears streaming freely, with what was left of my mascara streaking my pillowcase. I wasn’t alone for long. I never heard the door open or shut, but I felt the bed as it shifted under my aunt’s weight. She sat down beside me, quietly stroking my back.

“
Honey, please tell me what’s wrong. This is breaking my heart.”

“
Collin’s m-m-m-mo-oving,” I stammered out.

“
Oh, Bailey, I’m sorry. It can’t be that bad. Where’s he moving to?”

“
Las Vegas.”

“
That’s not very far away. You guys can still talk and see each other.”

“
No. He lied to me. He’s known since spring break and he never told me. Savannah lives in Vegas—he’s going to be living near Savannah. I was just someone to hang out with. It was all just fun and games. He never had any other intentions, so that’s why he never said anything.”

“
Come on, Bailey. Do you really believe that? So it wasn’t cool that he didn’t tell you, but do you really believe he felt nothing? That the past few months have been just fun and games? And who’s Savannah?”

“
He says she’s just an old family friend. But she wants to be more than that. I’m not stupid, I could see it all over her face the first time we met. Her family was here during spring break.”

“
Bailey, I really think you’re overreacting. If he didn’t feel anything for you, then why is he so worried about you right now? Why won’t you talk to him?”

“
Because I can’t. It hurts too badly. He’s leaving in two weeks, Aunt Rachelle. Two weeks! When was he going to tell me? As he drove off?”

“
Honey, I’m sure he had his reasons. Why won’t you at least let him try to explain?”

“
I can’t. I should have known better. But I thought maybe, just maybe, something good in my life could happen.”

“
You can’t always think everything bad is going to happen to you. Good things do happen too.”

“
Please, I just need to be alone for right now.”

“
Okay. But I’m here if you want to talk about it.”

She leaned over, kissed my forehead, and left the room, closing the door behind her. I was left in the deafening silence. A few minutes later, I could hear the phone ringing in the other room. I tugged the pillow around my head and tried to ignore it. My cell phone was still in my purse. It had been on vibrate during the graduation ceremony. I had never turned the sound back on, and I had no intention of turning it back on now.

~ Collin ~

I stood there in stunned silence as Bailey turned from me and began running through the thick crowd. The hurt in her eyes pierced me to the core. I’d known the day was coming when I would have to tell her, but this was not how I’d wanted to do it. Cursing, I knew I had to go after her, talk to her, make her understand.

Natasha was already chasing her, but my damn cast slowed me down. If it wasn’t for this broken leg, I could have easily caught her. Natasha and I both reached the parking lot just in time to see Bailey’s car exiting the driveway.

“
Good going! What the heck is going on, Collin?” Natasha was practically screaming. “How could you keep something like that from her? She’s been through enough, she doesn’t need this!”

“
Look, I know that. I just couldn’t tell her. I didn’t know how. Every time I tried, something came up. I didn’t want to hurt her. I was trying to figure out a plan before I let her know, and I kept hoping my dad would change his mind. I didn’t want to put her through all of this and then we never end up moving.”

“
Well, that’s just stupid. You guys never think. She’s stronger than she believes, but this is going to crush her in a way I can’t even imagine. You didn’t see her or know her when she first moved down here. I did. I saw how lifeless she was, barely moving from day to day. Then you come into her life, and I see a spark I’d never seen before. She deserved that, she deserves happiness; right now when she ran off, I could see that spark was gone. Her eyes were dull and lifeless again. That fast, in a split second, you stripped from her the hope that things in her life could be normal. Just because you had to lie to her. Didn’t you learn anything about her over the past few months?”

“
Yes, I did. Which is why I didn’t want to tell her, I didn’t want to cause her needless pain.”

“
Yeah, well that sure backfired. The damage is done now. What are you going to do?”

“
I don’t know. I need to talk to her.”

“
Good luck with that. You need to decide what you are going to do. You either let her go now and let her heal, or you fix this. Don’t be playing with her emotions.”

“
I have no intentions of letting her go. I need to borrow someone’s car and go find her.”

“
Here, take mine. You’re not a bad guy, Collin, but I swear, you better make things right. My car is over there.”

Natasha yanked her keys out and handed them over as she pointed to the far edge of the parking lot.

“
Thanks, Natasha. I always knew you liked me.”

Grinning, I grabbed the keys from her and hobbled toward the car as quickly as I could. Grabbing my cell phone I dialed Bailey’s number, after several rings it went to voice mail. “Bailey, please call me back. We need to talk.”

Finding Natasha’s car, I got in, sliding the seat back to accommodate my long legs. I was thankful the car was not a stick shift. I drove over to Bailey’s house first, but her car wasn’t out front. My next stop was the lookout where I’d been lucky to find her before when she had been upset, but again, there was no car there. Though I carefully searched the streets as I drove through town, I never came across her. I drove to the park, but it was empty. I was quickly running out of ideas. Where could she have gone? I continued to call and text her cell phone, as well as her house phone, but nothing. I was beginning to worry. Twice I stopped by her house, ringing the doorbell and talking to her aunt, but she still hadn’t shown up there. I called Natasha and Mia, but neither of them had heard from her. Bailey wasn’t taking their calls either. It had been over two hours now. I decided to try her house number one more time; her aunt picked it up on the second ring.

“
Hello.”

“
Rachelle? It’s Collin again. Have you heard from Bailey?”

“
Yes. She’s home now.”

Relief flooded through me; at least she was safe.

“
Thank goodness. Can I talk to her?”

“
I don’t think she’ll take the phone, Collin. She’s really upset.”

“
I understand. But I need to explain, to let her know what is going on.”

“
What
is
going on, Collin? Why would you lie to her about moving?”

“
So, she told you.”

“
A little.”

“
It’s not that I didn’t want to tell her, I just never knew how to, or every time I tried, something came up. I didn’t want to hurt her. She means more to me than anything. I just need to talk to her.”

“
I believe you. I’ll tell you what. If you come over here, I’ll let you in. I know she’ll be pretty mad at me, but I think she needs to hear the words from you.”

“
Thank you! I’ll be right there.”