A Matter of Trust (10 page)

“
That’s true, but they are
not the problem anymore than Jake is. Of course, you have to
consider them, but I can’t imagine that you think Jake would hurt
them. I know, I know, you didn’t think Pete would hurt his own
children either, but he did. Give yourself and Jake some time. Do
you care about him enough to do that?” Eva’s eyes refused to
release her.

Eventually, Trish said, “I don’t
know.”

Eva relentlessly continued to force
her friend to think things through. “You don’t know, or you do care
about him, but you don’t want to, and you’re afraid?”

“
Yes. I care for him. I
don’t want to, but I do. And yes, I’m afraid.”

Eva smiled at her friend. “Exactly. If
you two are meant to be together, you will be. If not, you won’t.
It’ll just take some time to figure out what category you fit
under. Give it and yourself some time. Try to keep an open
mind.”

“
Who knew you could be so
stubborn, Eva?” Trish smiled finally, although it wasn’t full
blown. “I’ll think about everything you’ve said. I’ll try not to
let my fear override everything else. I can’t promise anything else
beyond that.”

****

Jake did a slow burn. He’d been
sitting in his truck in Trish’s parents’ driveway for exactly two
hours and twelve minutes, and she still wasn’t home. He’d made up
his mind that he’d wait her out, no matter what time she got there.
She had to come back sometime. When Trish pulled up beside him, she
looked so upset and so … scared, he forgot his anger toward her and
opened the door to his truck. He closed the door and stuffed his
hands in his pockets to stop himself from reaching for her and
waited for her approach.

“
Hi, Jake. How long have
you been waiting?”

“
Two hours and …” he
checked his watch “… fourteen minutes. Can I come in?”

She looked up at him with tears in her
eyes.

“
Damn it, Trish. Don’t
cry, honey.” He reached for her and wrapped his arms around
her.

Jake rested his chin on the top of
Trish’s head. She smelled like spring. He pulled her closer for a
second then pulled back. “Have you eaten?”

She nodded and looked up at him, and
he wiped the tears from her face. “I met Callie and Eva for dinner.
I’m sorry you waited so long.”

“
You’re worth the wait,
sweetheart.”

“
I’m sorry I was so bitchy
this morning. I wouldn’t have blamed you if you’d stayed away. I
was even kind of hoping you would.”

“
So, you’re not a morning
person.”

“
I think we both know it’s
a little more complicated than that.”

“
I’m good at complicated.
Give me a shot, Trish. Can we go inside?”

“
Sure. Are you
hungry?”

“
I could eat.” They went
inside and headed straight to the kitchen. Trish kicked off her
shoes and went to the fridge and pulled out all the fixings for a
sandwich. When she finished, she pulled out a paper plate with the
face of a zebra on it, added chips and a pickle spear, and set it
in front of him. She started to pull away and take the seat next to
him, but he grabbed her hand and kissed her palm. “Thanks. So, tell
me about your day. I’m hoping it was as miserable as mine
was.”

She couldn’t help but smile. “It was.
Despite the fact that we had a successful day in terms of new
business, I was absolutely miserable.”

“
Good to know. If it’s any
consolation, word spread like wild fire to all my employees to
avoid me at all cost at the risk of personal peril. They likened me
to a grizzly bear, a badger, and a psychopath.”

“
My secretary wanted to
know if I was coming down with something.”

“
So. You want to tell me
what happened this morning?”

“
I’m not sure I can. I’m
still trying to figure things out. Last night was … it was …
“

“
Outstanding? Exceptional?
Unforgettable?”

“
It was all those things,
Jake. You were amazing, and I’ll never forget it. But I hadn’t
planned on … I mean I didn’t think I would ever … it came as a
surprise. Jeez, I’m making a mess of this.”

“
So, you weren’t attracted
to me?” Jake’s expression challenged her.

“
Yes, of course I
was.”

“
I caught you at a weak
moment, then?” The look on his face was entirely patient and
reasonable as he continued to quiz her.

“
Yes, I mean, no. That is,
I got carried away in the moment.”

“
So, you regret it
now?”

“
No. Maybe. Not exactly.
Oh hell, I don’t know. This is so hard.” Trish rested her head in
her hands, elbows propped up on the kitchen table.

“
It doesn’t have to be,
Trish. You’re making it harder than it has to be. I had a great
time last night, did you?”

Big blue eyes looked up at him
unblinkingly, and she nodded.

“
So, we have good
chemistry. I think you’re pretty great, not just in the sack, but
all the time.” She blushed, but kept eye contact. “Do you think I’m
great, Trish?”

She blinked and nodded again with
slightly more enthusiasm.

“
So, we have good
chemistry, and we like and respect each other. Then, what’s scaring
you, sweetheart? Talk to me. Please.”

Trish recounted everything she’d told
Eva and Callie about her marriage earlier that evening, and Jake
listened without interrupting.

“
So, you can see why I’m
so hesitant to enter into another serious relationship. It’s better
if I just stay on my own. I’m not ever going to allow myself or my
kids to be put in that kind of predicament again.”

Jake watched Trish silently as he
weighed everything she had said. He at least understood now why she
didn’t trust anyone or let anyone take care of things for her. She
blamed herself for the choices and mistakes her husband made,
simply because she didn’t see trouble coming, and she was
determined to never be caught by surprise again. She equated love
and trust with gullibility and disaster. She thought the only way
to make sure that she and her children had the security they needed
was to stay alone, so she’d never be fooled or caught off guard
again. She’d decided not to rely or depend on anyone but
herself.

“
I understand better now,
but I need you to remember that I’m not Pete. No, just hear me
out.” She’d been on the verge of arguing with him, but he was
determined to have his say. “You don’t want to ever find yourself
in the position you found yourself in Dallas. I get that. Nobody
would. The person you should’ve been able to count on no matter
what not only let you down, he left you to pay the price for his
bad choices and clean up his mess, which you’re still doing. He
deserted you and left you destitute and vulnerable. I don’t blame
you. But, Trish, all that happened before you and I got involved.
It has everything to do with you, but it has nothing to do with me,
other than the outrage I feel on your behalf.”

“
I think we have something
together worth investigating, worth taking a chance on. I know I’m
asking a lot of you when I ask you to trust me, but I’m asking you
to do it, anyway. I’m not Pete. I don’t ever want to be compared to
Pete, and I sure as hell don’t want to be confused with him. As far
as I’m concerned, he was a sorry SOB, and he didn’t deserve you or
those two kids. I don’t expect you to believe unequivocally that
I’ll never let you down or you can depend or rely on me. All I’m
asking is for a chance to prove to you I’m worthy of that kind of
faith. In time, you’ll see for yourself I’m not about to let you
down. What’s the harm in giving us some time together, Trish? If it
doesn’t work out, fine, but I can’t just walk away and wonder how
it might have been between us. I think we have a shot at something
real, something worth fighting for. Fight with me for this, Trish.
Don’t just walk away.”

Trish clasped her hands together
tightly. He could see the wheels turning in her head as she
considered everything he had said.

Jake didn’t take his eyes off of
Trish’s as he waited for her response. He could see her fear to
take this leap of faith, but she couldn’t possibly be any more
scared than he was she wouldn’t take the chance. He stood up and
held his hand out to her, hoping and praying she’d take it. She
looked at his hand, then into his eyes and hesitantly stood up. And
placed her hand in his.

Jake pulled her into a hard embrace
and kissed her, breathing a sigh of relief that he’d won this
battle. He figured he still had a hell of a war to wage, but this
was a start, and he was determined to breach all her defenses and
be victorious in the end. Trish was worth fighting for, and he
would be a warrior.

“
I’m scared to death,
Jake.”

“
I know you are, but it’s
going to be okay, I promise. You’ll see. It’ll be okay.” He lifted
her chin up and fused his lips to hers in a kiss full of promise
and hope. “It’s late, and we’ve both had a rough day, and we both
work tomorrow. I’m going to leave, so you can get some rest. How
about I bring you lunch tomorrow?”

“
That sounds great. How
about I cook you dinner tomorrow?”

“
That sounds greater.”
Jake cupped her cheek in his big, strong hand, then bent to kiss
her again. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“
Do you want to
stay?”

“
Ask me tomorrow, and I
will.”

“
Déjà vu. Only this time
I’m not sloshed.” They walked to the door together, arm in
arm.

“
Don’t get used to me
turning you down. You look tired, Trish. Get some sleep. I want you
… energetic tomorrow, okay?” She nodded, and he kissed her
goodnight and left.

As she locked up behind him, she
couldn’t help thinking that, despite being scared spitless, he was
worth fighting for. She felt drained. She had so much work to do,
but she just couldn’t do it tonight. She’d set her alarm and get up
early to get caught up. Trish set the alarm for five and rolled
over and fell asleep with her clothes on.

Chapter 5

Trish could’ve sworn that she’d barely
closed her eyes when the alarm woke her early the next morning.
She’d gone to bed early, but it had been a restless sleep, and she
didn’t feel particularly rested. She was used to being sleep
deprived, between being a single mother and starting a new
business, but she felt more tired than usual.

She got up and showered and went to
work when it was still dark outside. She didn’t waste any time
diving into the work she should’ve done the night before, and when
she finished that, she planned her day and started working on the
professional development piece she’d signed on for to train new
teachers on literacy strategies. Before she realized it, over two
hours had passed by, and Diana arrived.

Her secretary entered her office and
said good morning and went over her schedule for the day, reminding
her that she had a meeting at ten with a different school district
regarding teacher professional development on content area
literacy, which she’d already prepped for. When she finished
reviewing the day’s agenda, Trish looked at her employee and friend
more closely.

“
Di, is everything
alright?”

Diana just looked at her as tears
welled in her eyes.

Trish came around her desk and
embraced her. “Sweetie, what’s wrong?”

“
I’m sorry. I guess I’m
just tired.” Diana reached for a tissue and dabbed at her
eyes.

“
It’s more than that, Di.
Tell me what’s bothering you.”

“
It’s my hus – I mean my
ex-husband. He keeps calling me and threatening me if I don’t go
back with him. I’m scared, Trish. He’s not making idle threats. I
left him, due to his violence I’m afraid he’s going to come after
me again.”

“
Let me call Josh, Eva’s
husband.”

“
I’ve already spoken to
him. He slapped a restraining order on Roger, but I don’t know if
that will deter him, or just make him madder. I’m so afraid he’ll
track me down and find out where I’m living or working.”

“
Do you think he knows
where you live?”

“
I don’t think so. Not
many people know other than my family, and although my parents are
upset I left him, I don’t think they’d tell him where to find
me.”

“
They’re upset that you
left him? Do they know about the abuse?”

“
They don’t know the
extent of the violence. They know he yelled at me and they suspect
he hit me, but they don’t know that it happened all the time.
They’re Catholic, so divorce is hard for them to accept. I’m too
ashamed to tell them the whole story.”

“
Can you change your phone
number?”

“
I have once already, but
somehow, he found out the new number, and it’s starting all over
again.”

“
I wonder how he got the
new number. Maybe he knows someone at the phone company? Did you
make it unlisted?”

“
Yes. I don’t know how he
got it.”

“
Did you report it to the
police?”