A Walk in Heaven (20 page)

“Why? Are you trying to tell me you don’t like me?”

She shook her head.
“Of course not.”

“Aren’t you attracted to me?”

Shyly, she dropped her attention to her lap. “That has nothing to do with it—”

He chuckled. “Sweetheart, it has
everything
to do with it.” He leaned closer and swept his mouth over hers briefly.
“Because I’m extremely attracted to you.”

She met his eyes, and he could tell from her soft gaze, she fought her feelings for him. He would do his best to help her admit what she really felt.

“Joshua, we grew close at the cabin because you saved my life and because we talked about Matthew. I just don’t want you to read more in to it than that.”

Doubt snuck in, and he wondered if he had misjudged her reactions. Then he remembered the way she had kissed him the first time, and those times after when she’d allowed him to hold her. No, he hadn’t misjudged her feelings. Whether she wanted to believe it, she liked him. So why didn’t she want to admit what was in her heart?

“If you say so.”
He kissed her again, making it longer this time. Once again, she didn’t push him away. Her words were contradicting her actions. It might take him a while to woo her, but he would. And he’d win her affection.

Although this kiss wasn’t as poignant as the ones before had been, happiness consumed him and he wanted nothing more than to hold and kiss her for the rest of his life. Reluctantly, he withdrew. Emotion glimmered in her intoxicating eyes as a smile tugged on her lips. She was so beautiful, and he wished he could shout his feelings to the world.

She snuggled against him and rested her head on his chest. Grinning, Joshua rode up to the porch and let her down. She kept the blanket tight around her as she hurried in the door. He prodded the horse into the stable. His father was there and jumped when he saw him.

“Oh, thank the Lord you’re back.” William clapped his hands.

“Really, Pa.
Did you think I wouldn’t find my way home?”

“Of course not, but we worried sick over Careen.” He held Socrates as Joshua dismounted. “How is she? I assume you did find her.”

“Yes, Pa.
She just went in the house. Thankfully, I found her before she froze to death. And she’s fine. I doubt she’ll even catch cold.”

“I pray she won’t. That poor girl isn’t used to Montana’s undecided weather.”

“Are any of us?” Joshua laughed. He pulled off the saddle. “How were things here at the house? Were the twins all right?”

“Yes. We were just all worried about you – and Peter, of course.”

Joshua spun around and faced his father. “What’s wrong with Peter?”

“He almost didn’t make it back once the storm hit. We don’t know how or why, but he caught his foot in a trap.”

“Another trap?”

“Yes. His horse rode into some kind of trap and broke his foot. When Peter tried to help the animal, he stepped in another trap and it nearly snapped his leg off. It was in the same area Shadow was injured. I’m just relieved Careen’s servant, Betsy, knew what to do or Peter would have lost his leg, I’m sure. Apparently, Careen’s aunt had been a doctor’s assistant before the war and Betsy had helped on several occasions.”

Bile rose to Joshua’s throat as his head swam from the news. None of this made sense. He pulled off his hat and swiped his fingers through his hair. “Pa, what is going on around here? There are too many traps, too many broken fences, and I believe somebody has been staying at the east cabin.”

“Why do you think that?”

“Missing
food,
and the woodpile wasn’t as full. Ashes littered the hearth as well.”

William shook his head. “I wish I knew, son. I talked to the sheriff after the fence incident, and again about the traps. I’ve asked the bordering neighbors to keep an eye out, but nobody has said anything to make me suspicious.”

“These things can’t be happening
on their own
. Someone has to be behind them.”

“I
agree,
so. Once the roads are clear to travel into town, I plan on paying a visit to the sheriff again. These incidents have got to stop.”

“I’ll go with you.”

His father shrugged. “Until Peter can walk again, our days will be very busy. I’ll go alone to ride into town and see him since I need you here on the ranch.”

Joshua and his father ambled back to the house. When they entered, the twins clung to Careen’s trouser-clad legs while his mother and Gage gave her a hug. Tears of joy spiked his mother’s eyes when she saw her daughter-in-law, and Joshua knew his mother was silently thanking the good Lord for their safe return. Joshua was certain his mother wouldn’t mind if he married Careen, but his brothers may not agree. Still, Joshua needed to wait a while longer.

The next day kept him busy and away from Careen. Loneliness grew in his chest and he realized waiting to confess his love would be an aggravating wait. He wanted to live a happy life now – embrace his life as Matthew had. Unfortunately, the rules of mourning dictated they wait a year.
A year?
He seriously didn’t think he could wait that long.

He’d ridden back home in the afternoon to change his pants since he’d ripped the leg on a piece of wire. As he approached the house, laughter and merriment rang through the air as Careen and his daughters played in the snow. The snow was gradually melting, but they had enough to build two snowmen. It also appeared they were having a snowball fight.

If the girls saw him, they didn’t show any indication as he rode in the stable. He tied Socrates to the stall before heading out. Before reaching the door, Careen rushed through the opening and quickly flattened herself against the wall. Her smile was wide as her eyes gleamed with excitement. Joshua couldn’t help but grin, knowing this wonderful woman enjoyed playing with his daughters. His daughters needed
this as well.

He glanced out the window and noticed Frances and Jessica headed in a different direction to find Careen. If he hurried, he could spend a few minutes cuddling with her since he hadn’t been able to since they came back from the east cabin.

He crept toward her, trying to be quiet, but when he just about reached her, his feet crunched on the hay and she swung around. First panic shone in her eyes, but as soon as recognition hit, she exhaled deeply. He slipped his arms around her and pulled her close. Just as she opened her mouth to say something, he placed his over hers and kissed her soundly.

A small sigh released from her throat as she relaxed and linked her arms around his neck. Her lips were so gentle, and he wished he could kiss her whenever he wanted without having to hide. Her mouth molded perfectly to his, as it always had. He tasted the cheese she’d had for lunch today, along with the tangy lemonade on her breath. Although he wanted to prolong the kiss, his curious daughters would eventually find Careen’s hiding spot and witness something they might be shocked to see right now.

Hesitantly, he pulled away and smiled down at her. A lazy grin stretched her mouth as she moved her palms down the front of his sheepskin coat.

“What a pleasant surprise,” she said.

“I agree.” He nipped at her lips again. “I hope you don’t mind, but I couldn’t wait to hold you, and took the first chance I could find.”

She sighed and rested her head against his chest. “Joshua, I know we’ve had this discussion before. We have to stop this before—” She coughed and pulled away to cover her mouth.

He arched an eyebrow. “Sweetheart, are you taking care of yourself?”

“Of course I am. This is just a small cold, I assure you.”

He pulled her fur-lined cloak around her neck tighter. “Well, I don’t think you should play in the snow anymore today. Go inside where it’s warm. You’re not used to this weather.”

“I know, but it’s so much fun playing with the girls.”

The loud giggles of his daughters entering the stable had Joshua quickly pulling away before they asked questions to why he and their aunt were in each other’s arms.

“Papa,” they cheered and ran to him, hugging his legs.

He kissed each one on the top of their head and returned their hugs. “I can’t stay long. I had to come back and change my pants. I found a loose wire on one of the fences and it made a big rip.”

“Clumsy Papa,” Frances said.

He chuckled and cupped her face. “Yes, I am. I had other things on my mind than what I was supposed to be doing.” He glanced at Careen and winked. “Now girls,” he switched his focus back to his daughters. “I think you need to go inside the house where it’s warm before Aunt
Careen’s cold get
any worse.”

“Yes, Papa,” they replied dejectedly.

He caressed Careen’s face briefly,
then
forced himself to move away before he gathered her back in his arms, once again. Without looking back, he hurried into the house and changed, then resumed his position atop his horse and he rode their land.

The memory of Careen’s kiss lasted another day. By this time, the snow had melted considerably, which helped Joshua and Gage keep an eye out for anyone or anything suspicious. Joshua never did find the calf Careen had spotted before the storm, but he knew several of their herd had suddenly come up missing. They’d searched for more traps, and thankfully, didn’t find any. The sheriff had come and talked to all the ranch hands, but nobody saw anything amiss.

That night he arrived home very late. As much as he wanted to see if Careen was still awake, he didn’t dare. Exhausted, he climbed the stairs toward his room. Hopefully, his bath water would be waiting for him so he could bathe then climb into bed as soon as possible. He entered his room and was relieved to see the buckets of water. As he passed his dresser, a letter caught his attention and he picked it up.

The sheriff from Pierre, South Dakota, had finally answered him. Although Joshua was tired, he moved to the lamp and sat on his bed to read. His heart hammered with nerves. Did he really want to know what happened? Careen had told him already, so perhaps there wasn’t anything in this letter Joshua didn’t already know.

“Dear Mr. Grayson. I want to first send my condolences for the death of your brother. According to witness that terrible morning, they stated Matthew and his bride had just exited the church when your brother was killed.”

Joshua nodded, knowing this was what Careen had already told him. He continued with the missive.

“After the physician had taken your brother to his office to prepare the body for burial, witnesses stated that Mrs. Grayson’s cousin had appeared beside her quickly, and his treatment of her was very forceful. Witnesses say your sister-in-law struggled the whole time.”

Shaking his head in denial, Joshua couldn’t take his eyes off the letter. Careen hadn’t mentioned anything about her cousin being there. Joshua’s hands shook as he continued reading.

“Thankfully, Mr. Rader – the man who witnessed your brother being shot – recognized the man with Mrs. Grayson as the killer. Two of my deputies and I, rushed to arrest your sister-in-law’s cousin for your brother’s murder. Unfortunately, something happened a few days after Luther Kennedy was thrown in jail, and the man escaped. Please do not fret, because my deputies and I are hot on the man’s trail. We have several counties working with us to find Mr. Kennedy.”

Joshua’s stomach lurched, but nothing came up.
Only a bitter taste in his mouth from Careen’s deceit.
How could she have lied to him? She had the chance to tell his family – to tell him – but she didn’t. Why hadn’t she thought this important information? And worse, did she know Luther had escaped and was dodging the law?

The more Joshua thought about it, he realized Careen must have known. She held the secret and was afraid of him finding out.