Adam's List (6 page)

“No big deal,” Felicia repeats, snorting. “I wish someone would get that excited about meeting with
me
. You should smile like that more often. It makes you
really
hot.”

“You know I don’t swing that way. Women are too complicated.”

“Maybe you don’t swing my way, but I’m guessing that guy watching you from the reading section will follow whichever way it is you’re going.” Pushing her glasses back up to her face, she continues typing, her straight brown hair blocking what I’m sure is a smart-assed grin. “You should go over and tell him about our ‘no lewd glances at hot librarians’ rule.”

I spin around to the area designated for casual reading. Adam’s gray eyes light up when our gazes meet and his dimples slowly deepen. Meeting his smile, my spirits soar.

He’s just as gorgeous as I remember, and just as easy-going.

“Hole. E. Shit,” I whisper without moving my lips.

Felicia grumbles something about ditzy blondes under her breath.

I lower the books from my arms to the portable cart and calmly cross over to where he sits at a table by himself, wearing loose cargo pants and a white button down with thin gray stripes that make his eyes pop even more. He’s freshly shaven, and even smells like expensive aftershave.

Dear Lord. By the light of day, he’s even more amazing.

“So you’ve quit school, yet here you are in the campus library.” I feel like my cheeks will split in half from smiling so broadly. “Can’t seem to quiet your inner geek?”

Leaning back in the chair until the front feet are off the ground, he sets a book on the table in front of him. My stomach flutters excitedly when I realize there’s a bookmark in the new Dean Koontz novel, like it’s something he’s actually reading. I’ve never really known a guy who reads for
fun
. The types of guys I’ve dated are more into ESPN and Hooters.

Like he really needed another thing to make him even hotter.

“Couldn’t help myself,” he says with a maddening grin. “I wanted to see you in your element.” He motions to my hair. “The braid totally completes the whole librarian image.”

Lightly patting my hair, I giggle. “It’s not too Katniss Everdeen?”

“Not at all.” He sets the chair legs back down and rests a hand under his chin, studying me closely. After checking me out from head to toe, he meets my gaze, smirking. “You look incredible.”

A lump rises in my throat with his compliment. I want to tell him this isn’t what I would normally wear, but I take the compliment as is. “And you could pass for someone with an invigorating future.”

His eyes flicker to the dotted ceiling. “If only my parents could see me now.” Heavy sarcasm weighs in his words like they wouldn’t approve of him, no matter what he did.

Are they disappointed that he quit school? It’s just one of the many things I’m dying to know about him.

I glance at the clock, willing it to speed ahead. “You’re early. And you said you were picking me up at my
dorm
.”

“Afraid to duck out a few minutes early and see what it’s like to live life on the edge?”

I can’t remember the last time I smiled as much as I have in the past twelve hours.

Especially
not with Levi. A twinge of guilt twists in my stomach when I realize just how often I’ve been comparing the two guys since I met Adam. It’s not fair to either one of them. My heart isn’t in this relationship with Levi, so why drag it out any longer?

“Just let me do the responsible thing and check out with my supervisor.”

I barely hear Adam say something in response as I all but stumble away. I have to get a grip if I’m going to make it through this date. There’s no way I can enjoy Adam’s company with thoughts of Levi in the mix.

“I’ll be right back,” I tell Felicia as I pass her desk.

I break into the quiet hallway, gulping in deep breaths, talking myself through what I’m about to do. My hand shakes as I pull my phone from my back pocket. I’m about to lose my nerve and end the call when Levi answers among the sounds of a rowdy bar.

“Hey, babe, what’s up?”

It’s so typical that he doesn’t even ask how I’m feeling. I lick my lips, taking a moment to gather my courage. “Hey, Lee. I didn’t want to do this over the phone, but there’s something I need to tell you.” Part of me feels heartless for not doing this earlier when we were face to face. But then I remember how he acted like a horny dog, and I’m over it. “I wanted to tell you this earlier, but then Kel showed up, and...I think we should spend some time apart. Maybe see other people.”

“Where’d this come from?” He sighs in his irritated way. “I guess if that’s what you really want...
whatever
.”

His words are an unexpected jab. I’ve heard him get more upset about backordered motorcycle parts. He doesn’t even care, so why should I? I clutch my phone tightly, anger washing over me. “What I want is for you to show a little goddamn emotion every now and then. Act like you give a shit.”

I take a deep, calming breath. I’m met with silence, as expected. We haven’t engaged in any heart-to-heart revelations in the short time we’ve been together, and I probably blew him away with my unexpected outburst.

“What’s with all the drama?” he finally asks. “I already told you I’m not looking for anything serious. I thought the sex was good enough.”

“Goodbye, Levi.” I end the call, slipping my phone back into my pocket.

I’m not upset about breaking it off with someone who wasn’t good for me. Levi was nothing more than an anchor, considering there wasn’t an emotional bond between us. I
know
I did the right thing. Instead of congratulating myself, however, there’s a vast emptiness where I should be feeling relief. What if I’ve become unable to feel anything for anyone? What if this numbness never goes away?

When I walk back through the doors of the library to where Adam waits, I have all I can do not to break down.

FOUR

In the light of day I discover Adam’s wheels are more than just a “sleek” car. It’s actually a brand new Dodge Challenger painted a smoky gray with a sporty black stripe down the center. Either Adam’s spoiled or he saved up a lot of dough for this beauty. I pat the dashboard, smirking. “Sweet ride for a homeless guy.”

“This?” He smirks over at me. “It’s just a commuter. The Bentley stays in the five-stall garage during the week.”

I let out a humorless laugh, not sure if I’m supposed to take him seriously or not, and still unable to shake the uneasy feeling I’ve had since telling Levi we’re through.

Downtown is fairly quiet as usual on a Sunday evening, except for the restaurants just beginning to fill. Adam parks in front of a meter before turning to me, his eyebrows raised. “Everything good?”

“Damn dewy decimal system had me perplexed at work today.”

“Sorry,” he tells me in a clear display of sympathy.

I stare at him, a warmth tingling through me. I was expecting him to make some kind of joke about the stress of working at the library, or even to tell me it was time to get over it. Could he possibly be any nicer?

“I ordered Kate’s for carryout,” he says, tilting his head to the building beside us. “I ordered half cheese, half pepperoni. I figured it’s a relatively safe topping if you’re not a vegetarian.”

“Pepperoni’s my favorite,” I admit. “We’re eating in the car? Are you afraid to be seen with me in public?”

“I thought maybe we’d go hang out by the bluffs. Are you okay with that?”

I nod, unable to remember the last time I did anything outside other than run with Kelly early mornings. I’ve been so caught up in studying and work that I haven’t had much of a life. The thought of going somewhere outdoors just to hang is kind of nice.

The sun’s still a few hours from setting, and everything’s finally green after the unusually long, harsh winter.

He turns the car off. “Sit tight, I’ll be right back.” When he climbs out of the car onto the sidewalk, I can’t help but check out his backside. Some guys have virtually no hind end, but Adam’s is perfectly firm, matching the rest of his nicely built frame.

My phone buzzes in my purse, as if busting me for being so shallow. Flustered, I pull it out to see a text from Kelly.

How’s the non-date
?

So far so good. And btw I broke it off with Levi
.

Hardly a second passes after I hit send that Kelly sends another text.

WTF????? CALL ME ASAP!

Adam bursts through the restaurant's door, a square box in hand. I quickly text,

GOTTA RUN!
before jamming my phone back in my purse. A second later I hear the buzz of another text, but ignore it, instead reaching across the driver’s seat to open Adam’s door. The heavenly aroma of marinara sauce and cheese follow him inside.

As he pulls back onto Main Street, I glance at the radio. “Mind if I turn on some music?”

His dimples materialize. “Go for it.”

I fumble with the dial until finding my favorite rock station. I turn it up a little more when I realize it’s Queens of the Stone Age, one of the many awesome bands I had a chance to see live at Lollapalooza.

Adam glances between me and the road. “What
is
this? Your kind of music?”

Shrugging, I say, “Depends on what kind of mood I’m in.”

“Are you in the mood to smash something?” He watches me carefully with a growing smirk as Josh Homme shouts through the speakers.

“Just give it a chance,” I plead, giggling. “Let yourself listen without judgment. These guys are pretty stellar. The lead singer was in a band with Dave Grohl from the Foo Fighters...you know, the drummer from Nirvana. You should see Josh play the guitar and piano. The guy was in a band when he was
twelve.
He’s collaborated with dozens of bands. He’s even produced some records. He’s crazy talented.”

Adam’s eyes twinkle as he studies me, their intensity making my hormones go wild. I don’t think he has a clue what I’m talking about, but he seems fairly amused. “You’re
really
into music, huh?”

“Yeah, I am,” I say proudly, lifting my chin. “And I’m totally going to make you a playlist. One to go along with your other list. It’s time to culture you on good music. Now shush it, and listen carefully to these guys. Your lesson starts now.”

I crank the volume so it’s just one decimal below shattering our ear drums. Adam’s eyes grow wide, but his lips curl at the edges when he sees me bouncing around to the beat. After the second time through the chorus, Adam taps his thumb against the steering wheel. I can’t stop myself from beaming at him.

Adam motions for me to join him from the edge of the bluff. “C’mon.”

A family with two young children sits at a picnic table a few feet away. Two attractive high schoolers with matching knit beanie hats stand near the edge, clinging to each other like they couldn’t breathe if they were to part.

From the protection of the parking lot’s edge, the view of the Mississippi River stretched out in front of downtown La Crosse is breathtaking. The water’s a murky shade of deep blue, and the bright greenery against the clear sky makes me wish I had my little Canon along, even though we’re a good hundred feet in the air.

Holding on to the hood of the Challenger, I feel my heart racing. “I’m good right here.

I can still see everything just fine.”

His expression falls. He curses under his breath as he starts toward me. “Shit. I forgot you’re afraid of heights. That was an asshole move to bring you up here.”

“Pulling out the asshole card is a bit harsh,” I say, laughing brightly. “I
did
tell you I went zip-lining.”

Setting the pizza bag down in front of the car, he pulls the blanket he grabbed from the trunk out from underneath his arm. The fleece blanket is worn thin, the ends tied together with knots, the pattern of dinosaurs. It’s quite obviously a treasure from when he was a little boy. I cover my mouth so he won’t see me grinning.

Adam catches my expression. “Yeah, I know. It’s all I have.”

“I think it’s sweet that you kept it all these years,” I insist, trying not to laugh. “Really.”

When he looks down to straighten the blanket on the ground, his cheeks grow red.

He sits with his legs crossed and opens a paper bag filled with plastic silverware and paper plates. I sit across from him, most of the view safely obscured behind me.

“Would you rather go somewhere else?” Adam asks, handing me a plate filled with gooey goodness. He plucks bottled water from the paper bag and hands it to me.

“Thanks. I’m fine, I swear.” My stomach growls eagerly, so I waste no time in taking my first bite. “Omigod, this stuff is
amazing
. It’s like there’s a little Mariachi band playing on my taste buds.”

Adam chuckles, watching me thoughtfully with one of his knee-weakening grins. I’m glad when the little kids from the picnic table begin running around us, screaming, because this is feeling way too much like a date, and I’m still feeling pretty raw from my unplanned breakup with Levi.

Adam watches the little boys, laughing, even reaching out to play with them a little when they dare to get close. After finishing his first piece he offers me another, even though I’m only halfway done. We both finish our second pieces, then begin dumping everything back into the empty paper bag.

Wiping his hands on a napkin, he reaches into his pocket. “I brought you something.”

He hands me a piece of folded up notebook paper. I wipe my hands before taking it from him, and laugh. “Oooh, are we going to play m.a.s.h.?” But I unfold it to see

“Adam’s

Underneath he’s written:

(1) fly

(2)

(3)

(4)

(5)

”You act like you’re taking this seriously,” I say, looking up at him. When he nods, my mouth hangs open. “I thought we were just goofing around. You
can’t
be serious. You’re really going to
do
these things? No bullshit?”

He flashes me one of those amazing smiles that I’m sure could cure all diseases if properly channeled. “I’ve been thinking about what you said at the party, and decided it could be fun. I could turn my free time into something productive and join the Peace Corps or go on some kind of mission trip, but those things take too much time to set up.”