Adam's List (8 page)

There’s a small crowd gathered. Adam seems to know a group of guys at the bar as one of them waves, raising his eyebrows upon seeing me. Adam lifts his hand in a quick greeting before steering me to an open red velvet couch. I sit, but he stands over me, looking paranoid.

“The band won’t be out for another half hour. You interested in sharing a slice of key lime pie?”

“Sure,” I say, even though I’ve never tried the stuff.

“I’ll be right back.” He’s off to the bar before I can say anything else. I watch as he pumps fists with the guy who waved earlier, and they become engaged in a lively conversation. Yeah, so this isn’t supposed to be an “official date,” but I’m still a little hurt that he doesn’t bring me over to meet his friends. It just creates a host of more questions. What
are
we doing together?
Why would he invite me on this trip, then choose not to introduce me to his friends?

I dig in my purse for my phone, finding a number of missed calls and texts from Kelly. As the last all but threatens my actual life, I quickly type out a message to her.

Tell u everything later. At Starlite 4 a band. Will b late.

Adam’s still busy chatting it up with his buddies, so I check my social apps for anything interesting. I snort under my breath when I see a Facebook message from Levi.

I want my helmut back
.

He didn’t even bother to ask nicely. And he can’t spell.

A month ago he gave me his spare helmet so he could pick me up on a whim. At first I was jealous of all the girls who probably wore it before me, and was thrilled when he asked if I wanted to hold on to it. I took it as a sign that he was ready to commit to me, and stop seeing other women.

“Everything good?” Adam asks, making me jump. I look up to see him standing over me, his hands stuffed in his pockets.

“Yeah, it’s good,” I say, closing the app and stashing my phone. “Kelly’s just being...Kelly.” When he settles within a touching distance from me on the couch, I catch the guys from the bar sneaking glances over at us. “Friends of yours?”

Resting his ankle on his knee, he huffs loudly when he looks back at them. “Kind of.

They’re my old fraternity brothers.”

“
You
were in a fraternity?”

“I was a totally different person back then.” His eyes are hard when his gaze flickers back to me. “It was a lapse in judgment.”

“Hey, we all make stupid mistakes.” After all, I stayed with Levi this long.

A tall, thin waitress with shiny black hair sets a slice of pie in front of us with two forks. When she sees Adam, a flirtatious smile curls at her lips. “Hey, Adam. Haven’t seen you around in a while.”

“Hey, Bets,” he replies. “How’ve you been?”

She giggles in a harmonic melody. “You know. Same old work, no time for a social life, blah blah.” Jealousy lights up my insides. With a porcelain complexion, cool eyes under dark eyelashes, and bright red lipstick, she’s a knockout. Like a pin-up girl you’d see in a 40s magazine.

Adam sets his arm behind me on the couch. “Betsy, this is Jewels.”

Betsy looks me up and down before grinning. It’s the way you assess someone you think will eventually become a friend. Cordial, not judging. “Hey. Always good to meet a friend of Adam’s.” She turns back to Adam. “Let me know if I can get you guys anything else.” She winks his way before walking away.

“She seems cool,” I say. And she does, except I still can’t shake the feeling that she wants something more from Adam. It makes me feel strangely territorial.

With his arm still draped behind me, he turns so close that the warmth of his breath spills across my face. “I used to hang out here a lot.”

My throat becomes incredibly tight. It would only take a little nudge for our lips to touch. It’s one of those magical moments when you can feel your first kiss with someone coming. Our eyes lock. He rubs his lips together. As we stare at each other, I notice he isn’t breathing either.

I spring back to study the glowing green and white desert. “That looks...good.”

Adam reaches for the plate. “Get ready for the best key lime you’ll ever taste.”

I take a small, cautious bite, waiting for the flavor to hit my taste buds. The bitterness of the lime mixed with the sweet of the whipped cream is like a little party in my mouth.

Puckering my lips, I close my eyes and hum. “Considering this is my first time trying it, this is like
really
good. Delicious.”

“You’re kidding.” He sets his fork down. “You’ve never tried key lime pie?”

Shrugging, I cut myself a much bigger bite. “I used to be a picky eater.” A full moment passes before I realize I’m talking with my mouth stuffed full. Turning red, I press a few fingers over my lips.

Adam doesn’t seem to notice as he takes a similarly large forkful. “Maybe while
you
work on
my
list of things to do,
I
should be working on one for
you
.”

After swallowing the pie I stuffed in my mouth, I snort. “Except I’m the one who’s actually
gone
places, remember?”

“But no key lime pie? I’ll bet there are a ton of things you haven’t experienced. I’d venture to guess you’ll learn just about as much from me as I will when we execute your list.”

I’m filled with warm chills. I love the way he assumes we have a future together. The way he assumes I’ll say yes to his crazy idea. The thought of us being alone. On the road. “Oh, yeah? Try me.”

Setting his fork down on the suddenly empty plate, he raises his eyebrows. “Ever gone snowmobiling?”

“No way,” I answer rather forcefully. “Anything that has to do with the cold, you can count me out. I become a hermit once the first snow hits.”

When I realize I ate most of the pie without even asking if he wanted the last bite, I’m mortified. I’ve never wolfed anything down in front of a guy like that before. It seems I’m so at ease with Adam that I don’t even think about sitting straight, adjusting my hair, or making sure my lipgloss is well applied. It’s like hanging out with Kelly if she opted for a sex change.

“It’s not cold if you have the right gear.”

“Yeah, well, the only
gear
I have is a down coat and cotton mittens. I can barely cross campus without worrying about frost bite.”

Adam chuckles under his breath. “You can rent those kinds of things, you know. I’ll bet you haven’t been downhill skiing, either.”

“Heights, remember?”

“Says the girl who has been zip-lining and on the observation deck of one of the world’s tallest buildings.” His arm returns to the couch behind me once again. He looks down at me, his dimples flaring beside his wide grin. “Maybe we can make a stop in Colorado so you can try one or both.”

Licking the last traces of pie off my fork, I huff. “Slow down there, big guy. You’re acting like I’ve already accepted your proposition.”

He smirks, confident. “You haven’t turned me down.”

Then it hits me out of nowhere. I’m damaged goods. This guy is way too good for me. I should tell him I can’t go, and it’s best if we don’t see each other again.

I open my mouth to speak up when his friend’s band takes the stage. After a round of quiet applause, the foursome of hipsters start in on a kind of souped up blues rock.

While they play, I’m conscious of every move Adam makes beside me. His hand grazes across my shoulders when he rests his arm behind me. His breath tickles my ear whenever he leans in to yell something over the music. It takes everything I have not to bolt from the bar and call a taxi. It takes everything I have not to lean in and kiss him. So many contradictory feelings rage through me that my head spins.

I
just
broke things off with Levi a few hours ago. And I’ve heard so many stories about rebound relationships, even though we weren’t officially dating. Still, I don’t want that to be the case with Adam. Although sometimes a bit on the somber side, he’s kind, and sweet, and funny. I don’t want to ruin things by rushing them. And I don’t want him to think I’m just looking for something physical, although I wouldn’t necessarily be opposed to the idea.

By the time the band is done, it’s late and I have to finish reading two chapters by morning, so Adam drives me back to the dorms. There’s a moment of awkwardness as we sit in the dark, the question of a kiss weighing heavily on my mind.

Finally, Adam twists around to look at me. “I hope you had a good time.”

After being with Levi the past few months, it’s so odd to hear someone ask me that after a date that I almost laugh. “Are you kidding? The death-defying view, the pizza, the pie, Martin’s band? For someone who’s musically deprived, you hang out with some pretty stellar folks.”

“You want to do it again?” His smile suddenly matches mine. “I mean, not the
exact
same things, but—”

“Yeah,” I interrupt, nodding. “I do.” The answer surprises me so much that I pull in a sharp breath. Didn’t I just resolve never to see him again? I consider telling him the truth; that I can’t handle a serious relationship, if that’s where he’s heading. I should at least take time to think, maybe clear my head.

“How’s tomorrow?”

I let out a deep sigh and smile. “I’m at the library again until five.”

Adam’s eyes dip to the corner. “That should work. I think my schedule’s pretty wide open. Same time, same place?”

Nodding, I clutch the door handle, ready to bolt. Our eyes catch in the glow of the dashboard. For a painfully long moment, I’m breathless.

“Thanks,” he tells me. “For tonight.”

“Thank
you
for the pie and pizza. You’re the one who showed me a good time.”

He shrugs. “Anytime.”

The lights are off when I slip inside our room. Kelly stirs on her bed with the sound of my keys hitting the desk. “How was the date?” she asks groggily.

“It wasn’t a
date
.”

Kelly’s giggles fill the small room. “That good, huh?”

I lean back on my bed, sighing. “He seems like a great guy.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“I don’t think I’m emotionally ready for someone like him. I don’t think I’m emotionally ready for
anyone
. I’m not even sure
why
I broke it off with Levi. I don’t think I can do the whole boyfriend thing again. Not without fucking it up.”

“Listen. There must be something about Adam that made you wake up and realize you were headed nowhere with Levi,
fast
. I know you’re afraid of letting yourself fall for someone again, Jewels, but at some point you have to forgive yourself for breaking it off with Jason. Don’t check yourself out because you’re afraid of feeling something for this guy.
Please,
give this thing with Adam a chance before you totally write him off.”

I’m rendered speechless by Kelly’s ability to see exactly what’s going on. I finish my homework and turn off the lights, but my emotions and feelings for Adam keep me up much later than I intend.

FIVE

I drag myself to class in the morning with thoughts of Adam and our night still replaying in my head. Though I normally can get lost in my interest of Musical Cultures, today I’m busy typing a list on my laptop of the pros and cons involved with Adam’s trip, and can’t answer the professor’s question when she calls on me. The disappointed gaze she throws me before continuing on to someone else doesn’t escape me.

The last year has been a roller coaster of bad grades and missed classes. I’ve finally gotten to a lull where I at least make Cs and Bs, which has appeased my parents so far, but if I’m going to even consider going with Adam, I’m going to have to buckle down and prove to them I’ve changed. I snap out of it and listen intently the rest of the hour, but every few minutes I catch myself smiling.

Exactly ten minutes to five, Adam walks into the library wearing a retro Nirvana tshirt. I hide a giant grin behind the book in my hands so my supervisor doesn’t start in on me again.

“Go, be gone,” Felicia tells me, waving a hand through the air without even looking up. “I don’t want to spend the next ten minutes cleaning up your drool.”

I nudge her playfully before leaving to join Adam, my expression somber. “What’s this?” I point to his obviously new purchase.

“I was out grabbing a few groceries and it just kind of called to me. I figured you’d appreciate it. Too obvious?”

I cross my arms, pretending to be annoyed. “Name
one
of their songs.”

“It’s not like I’ve lived in a cave all my life. My buddies listened to them all the time. I remember a lot of screaming. I could pick them out on the radio.”

“Wrong answer,” I say. “You better go turn it inside out. You can’t be one of those posers who wears a band shirt just because they’re in fashion. I refuse to hang out with someone like that.”

His grin falters. “You’re serious?”

“The alternative is for you to immediately start listening to all their albums until you can appreciate why Dave Grohl is so epic, and why Kurt Cobain’s death was so tragic.”

I hook my arm through his when he doesn’t say anything more. “Don’t worry, they only recorded four albums. And you’re in luck, I just happen to have them all.”

Dumbfounded, he exits the library at my side. “This is your big plan for the night?”

“About that...” I look down at my feet before meeting his gaze again. “I think I’m gonna have to cancel. With finals coming up, I need to cram in some major studying.

This has been a crappy semester.”

He raises his eyebrows. “What are your classes?”

“Um, Musical Cultures, Cross-Cultural Psych, and History of Jazz, and English Lit.”

“I’m sensing a theme here. Are you sure you aren’t on track to become a music teacher?”

“I think it’s more my advisor’s way of telling me I’m lacking in culture because first off, I’m afraid of children. I once saw a
toddler
show her mom
how to run her iPad
. I’m telling you, their advanced intelligence is abnormal. And I’m pretty sure you have to be able to sing or play some kind of instrument to teach music. Trust me, you don’t want to hear me try either. I’m just trying to fill my generals until I find what it is I want to be when I grow up.
If
that ever happens.”