After the Sky Fell Down (29 page)

“You’re going out?” he repeated.

“Yeah.  Going to the movies.”

“Are you going with Lacey?” he asked defaulting to the obvious choice.

“Actually no.  I’m going with Jace,” she said, her heart pounding as she waited for his reaction.  She knew he would be skeptical.

“Who’s Jace?” he asked setting his paper down and staring at her. 

“He’s just a guy I met,” she said nonchalantly.

“Really?  A guy you met?” he said nodding his head and looking back down at the papers. His voice was flat and she could tell he was less than thrilled.

“What’s wrong Luke?” she asked.

“Nothing,” he said, but he didn’t look up.
“I’ve just got a lot of work due for my physics class.  Have fun.” He looked up again and smiled, but it wasn’t his usual smile.  It was forced and his eyebrows seemed furrowed. 

“Okay,” was all she said and they were quiet until the doorbell rang.

She noticed Luke didn’t even look up when she went to the door.

“Jace…hi,” Kathr
yn said when she opened it.  He was standing with his hands in his pockets and a smile on his face, wearing jeans and a black leather jacket over a white t-shirt. 

“Hey Kathryn,” he said grinning at her.

“You wanna get going?” she asked reaching over and quickly grabbing her purse and coat and stepping outside.  She didn’t feel an introduction to Luke was necessary.

“Um, yeah…let’s go,” he said as his eyes moved suspiciously behind her wondering what the big rush was.

They walked over to his SUV and he held the door open for her as she climbed in.

“So, do you have a roommate or do you live alone?” he asked as they drove towards the movie theater.  Kathryn paused, not quite sure how to answer.  She definitely didn’t live alone.  She lived with her dead boyfriend’s brother and daughter.  She couldn’t very well tell him that though.

“Um, I have a roommate,” was all she said. 

“Oh yeah?  What’s she like?”

She cringed at the chosen pronoun.  She couldn’t lie to him though.  She had to tell him she lived with a guy, she just didn’t have to reveal who exactly her roommate was.

“Uh…actually, it’s a he.”

She saw Jace straighten a little and turned and looked at her briefly with a raised eyebrow.

“Oh.  You live with a guy?”

“Yeah, he’s just a really good friend.  It works for us,” she said shrugging her shoulders lackadaisically so Jace wouldn’t read too deeply into it.

“Good, that’s good,” he said and she couldn’t tell if it bothered him or not.
             

“What about you?  What’s your living situation?” she asked turning the subject to him.

“I live alone now.  I had a roommate my first year who I
hated
,” he laughed. “I couldn’t wait to get rid of him.  I realized then I probably wasn’t exactly the roommate type.”             

“Don’t you get lonely?” she asked.

“Not really.  I don’t mind being alone.”

“I think we’re alike in that way then.  I don’t mind it either.  I’d rather be alone or with friends than with a big group of people I don’t know.”

“Me too,” he agreed.  “I’ve always been like that though.”

Kathryn smiled to herself as she discovered something else they had in common. 

He pulled into the theater a few minutes later and they walked to the counter where Jace purchased their tickets.  They ordered a large bucket of popcorn to share and two sodas.  They walked into the theater which was half full and made their way up the stairs to the back row and waited for the previews to start.

She looked around
and couldn’t help but notice how strange it felt to be sitting in a movie theater with someone other than Ben.  With Ben it had been easy and effortless.  They would talk about anything or say nothing at all.  With Jace it was different though.  She’d spent the week getting to know him, but she still felt like he was a stranger to her and as they sat side by side in the theater, she was overly aware of the awkward silence between them.

“I’ve really wanted to see this movie,” she said to him trying to get the conversation going.

“Yeah, me too.  It looks hilarious,” he said and then it was silent again. 

The lights went down a few minutes later and the previews started, followed shortly by the movie.  It was funny and Jace laughed out loud numerous times, compared to Kathryn, who just smiled while the rest of theater erupted in laughter.  She’d never been one to laugh out loud, but had always loved people who had.  Ben had been more like her, more reserved and quiet in public.  She had to admit she enjoyed hearing Jace’s laughter.

When the lights came on, they gathered their trash, dumped it in the garbage can and made their way back to the parking lot.

“I thought the movie was pretty funny.  How about
you?” he asked as they drove back home.

“Yeah, I liked it too.”  It had been nice to escape for a little while and even though it had felt strange to be out with someone other than Ben, she’d had a good time, and she admitted she didn’t want the night to end.

“Should I just take you home?” he asked.

“We could go to your place for a while and watch some TV or something,” she suggested, not wanting to go back to her apartment.  Luke was home and she didn’t need his scrutiny.

“Sure.  Sounds good,” he smiled and drove to his apartment complex.

She followed him inside and she looked around.  He had definitely left the decorating to a minimum.  His black entertainment center held a flat screen TV, DVD player and an Xbox.  Besides the loveseat she was sitting on, there was a white chair and a coffee table with a car magazine resting on it.  A white clock hung on the wall and vertical blinds covered the back door. 

“Nice place,” she said.

“Thanks,” he replied
and began taking off his coat.  Kathryn couldn’t help but watch as he slid out of the black leather jacket.  She noticed his white t-shirt revealed strong, defined arms, and she quickly looked away, before she could become aware of anything else.  She set her purse on the kitchen counter and then turned to Jace who was still standing in the small entryway that separated the kitchen and living room.

“You want something to drink?” he offered.

“Sure.  What do you have?”

“Dr. Pepper, 7 Up, apple juice…” he said rattling off the choices.

“No beer?”

“No.  Why?  You want one?” he asked looking up at her skeptically and she smiled.

“No.  I don’t want a beer.  I don’t drink,” she laughed. “I’m just surprised you don’t have any.”

“I’m actually not a big fan of the stuff,” he said and she smiled to herself realizing he wasn’t a big party guy. 

“Dr. Pepper’s fine,” she said and he pulled out two from the refrigerator and they sat down on the couch.  They popped open their sodas and began drinking.  Jace turned on the TV and began flipping through the channels.

“Hey, put it on the Red Sox game,” she said when she saw the play-off game between the Sox and the Angels.

“Baseball fan?” he asked.

“Kind of.  How about you?” she replied thinking back to all the nights she’d spent watching Red Sox games with Ben.

“I prefer basketball, but I watch baseball too.”

“Basketball?  I may have to leave now,” she joked.

“You wanna leave?  Go ahead,” he grinned motioning towards the door playfully.

“Are you at least a Celtics fan?” she laughed.

“Of course,” he assured her.

“Then I’ll stay,” she smiled.

“I knew you couldn’t bear to leave,” he said leaning back against the couch and then he rested his hand on her knee and moved closer to her until only a few inches separated them. She felt herself stiffen at his touch and tried to scoot away without being obvious.  He wasn’t buying it though and he sat up and turned to her with a crooked smile and concern in his eyes.

“Why do you always move away when I try to get close to you?” he asked quietly.

“Jace,” she said softly and then looked down at her folded hands.

He rested his hand on her leg again and then cautiously moved closer to her once more, trying to close the gap between them.  Her heart began to pound and she felt herself freeze as he got closer to her and she couldn’t bring herself to look at him.  She felt his fingers touch her face and gently pulled her chin up.  She kept her eyes down though.

“Look at me Kathryn,” he whispered encouragingly and she reluctantly raised her eyes to meet his.  She stared into the incredible darkness of his eyes, not being able to find the end of them.  They seemed to go on forever, like a black hole.  “Why do you move away?” he asked again, but she couldn’t answer.  She couldn’t tell him that she still thought of her dead boyfriend day and night.  She couldn’t tell him that for the last two years she’d practically shut out the entire world.  She couldn’t tell him she had a daughter because he’d want nothing to do with her then, and she couldn’t tell him the feelings he was causing to stir inside her were scaring the hell out of her.

She couldn’t speak and he moved even closer still, until their legs touched.  He reached up and slowly brushed a piece of hair that had fallen into her face behind her ear and began to slowly stroke her cheek
with his thumb.  She was still frozen and everything inside of her told her she should want to stand up and run away, but another part of her, a small part of her, told her to stay. 

“I didn’t think I needed to tell you this, but I like you Kathryn,” he said quietly and then began to lean in slowly and cautiously.  Her heart began to pound as if it was going to burst from her chest and her breath grew quicker.  What was going on?  What was happening here?  She couldn’t seem to wrap her mind around it.  A week ago she’d still been the shell of the person she was before Ben died, but since meeting Jace, a small spark had been lit. It didn’t matter how little the spark was, the fact remained that something was coming alive inside of her again, even if it was miniscule.

Time seemed to be moving in slow motion and as Jace’s face drew closer to hers, it felt like her head started to spin and then an image of Ben flashed through her mind causing her heart to ache.  How could she do this to him?  How could she betray him like this?

She bolted upright, practically knocking Jace off the couch.  She stood up and looked down at his hurt and confused face.

“I think I should go,” Kathryn said quickly.

“What’s wrong?” he asked standing up across from her.

“I just think I should go,” she said staring him directly in the eyes with insistence.

“Okay,” he said quietly, holding out his hands as if gesturing he wasn’t going to hurt her, and walked over to the door.  He picked up his jacket and opened the door.  She walked quietly outside into the chilly air and followed him to the car.  He opened the door and she climbed in.  They drove in absolute silence and when she saw her apartment it was like an oasis in the desert
, which she couldn’t get to fast enough.  He pulled the car to a stop and she quickly opened the door. 

“Thanks,” was all she said as she got out.  She glanced into the car quickly and saw the look of bewilderment covering Jace’s face. 

“Sure,” he mumbled and then he shook his head as she closed the door.  He waited until she was safely inside and then drove away. 

****

Luke was sprawled out on the couch when she got home.  He turned his head when she walked in, but she walked briskly passed him to her room before he could say anything.

She had just sat down on the bed when there was a knock on her door.

“Yeah?” she asked shortly.

“Everything okay?” Luke’s voice called.

“I’m fine,” she said abruptly and a moment later she heard him walking away. She was glad he didn’t persist on talking to her. 

She found her phone at the bottom of her purse and dialed Lacey’s number, hoping she was free to talk.  She had to talk to someone.

“Hey!” Lacey’s cheerful voice rang through the receiver after a few rings. “How’d things go with Jace?”

“I don’t know,” she replied listlessly. 

“Is everything okay?” Lacey asked, her cheerfulness gone.

“I don’t know,” she said again.

“What do you mean you don’t know?”

“I mean I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“Did something happen with Jace tonight?”

“Something
almost
happened with Jace.”

“What?  What do you mean by that?” Lacey asked pressing her friend for more details.

“He almost kissed me.”

“Yeah…but what happened?”

“I told him I had to leave.”

“Why would you do that?” Lacey asked puzzled.

“Because I didn’t like how he was making me feel.”

“Was he a creep or something?”

“No, of course not.”

“Then what was the problem?”