After the Sky Fell Down (33 page)

“Need some help?” he asked, the antagonistic tone, which had been so prevalent earlier, completely gone.

“No. I’ve got it,” she said shortly, turning back around to continue wiping the counter.

“How was the picnic?” he asked, obviously not getting the hint that she really didn’t want to talk to him right now.

“We had fun.  Sarah had fun too and Jace never tried to molest her,” she said sarcastically.

“Kathryn, you took what I said earlier the wrong way.  I didn’t think he would…” he said as his voice trailed off and then the room grew quiet as he knew she wouldn’t listen to his explanation.  Instead, he walked up behind her and placed his hand on her back.  She put the rag down and froze at his touch, but said nothing. “Hey, I’m sorry about what I said earlier.  I didn’t mean it.  I was just concerned for Sarah…and for you,” he added quietly.

She took a deep breath and sighed.  She was still upset at him, but when he spoke like this, in the usual kind, quiet manner so typical of Luke, she had a hard time continuing to resent him.

“I’m sorry Kate,” he said. “I really am.”

She sighed again and turned around to face him.

“Why?  Why did you act that way?”

“I don’t know.  I really don’t.  I was concerned for you and Sarah and,” he said taking a deep breath and running a hand
through his tousled hair. “It was just weird seeing you with someone else, watching you and Sarah and him walk out like some happy little family.  It was just strange.”

Kathryn shook her head and felt her eyes grow warm with tears.

“We just went on picnic.  We weren’t a happy little family.  It was nothing,” she said wiping her eyes before the tears fell.

“I know. 
I do.  It was just, I guess surreal is the word I’m looking for, seeing you leave with him and not…not Ben and I got upset, but I’m sorry.  I was a jerk.”

“Yeah, you were,” she agreed. “Big time.”

“Well, I just wanted to apologize, but I can tell it’s not enough,” he said turning to walk away.

“Hey,” she said and he stopped. “I know you were only doing it for me and Sarah.  Even Jace said that, but you don’t need to worry.  I underst
and your concern, but I’m okay.  We’re okay.”

“I’m just looking out for my girls,” he said with a shy grin and she smiled back, knowing that’s how Luke saw them.  He’d been protecting them since Ben died and she couldn’t just expect him to stop on a dime.  He’d never stop worrying about them.

“I know Luke.  I know,” she whispered. “Just…just take it easy from now on.”

“I will,” he said nodding and then walked away.

Chapter 33

It had been a few days since the picnic and Luke had relaxed just as he promised and didn’t hassle her anymore about Jace.  She hadn’t heard from Jace though.  Her baggage had been too much after all.  She was sad, because when she thought about Jace, she really did like him, but she tried not to dwell on it.  In her heart, she’d expected it. 

It’d been a long day and after three classes, she was ready to do nothing.  Sarah was still at the Bradley’s.  It was Sharon’s day to watch he
r while Kathryn went to school and she’d be dropping Sarah off around dinner time, which gave her time to relax before the little tornado returned.

As she walked to her car, her phone rang.  She stopped in her tracks when she saw Jace’s number flash across the display. 

“Hello?” she asked nervously.

“Hey, Kathryn,” his deep voice sang through the receiver. “How are you?”

“Hi Jace.  I’m fine.  How are you?” she said as a smile spread across her face, realizing how much she’d missed his voice.

“I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to call.  I’ve been really busy with work and class.”

“It’s okay,” she said, thinking to herself how she thought she’d never hear from him again.

“Are you busy? Maybe we could hang out?” he asked and she could hear nervousness in his voice too.

“No,” she said.

“No, we can’t hang out?”

“No.  I mean, no I’m not busy.  Yes, we can hang out,” she said feeling her cheeks flush. “You wanna come over?”

“Sure.  I’ll be over in a bit.”

She hung up the phone and hurried back to the apartment.  Luke was gone, thankfully.  He had class late today.  Although he’d apologized and laid off, Kathryn still didn’t want them around each other.  She figured it’d be more comfortable for both of them that way.

She quickly freshened up and tidied up the apartment while she waited.  Not long after she’d finished, the doorbell rang.  When she opened the door, she looked him over as a smile spread across her face.  He looked relaxed and welcoming in his loose faded jeans and gray t-shirt and black leather jacket.  His nearly black hair was tousled at the top and some black stubble created
a seductive shadow on his cheeks.  She had always hated any sort of facial hair on Ben, but it was different with Jace.  His made him look sexy and somewhat mysterious. 

“Hey,” he said walking in and looking around.

“Don’t worry.  Luke’s at class,” she laughed.

“I wasn’t worried about that,” he said and something told her he meant it. “Is Sarah here?”

“No. She’s with Luke’s mom.  She babysits a lot while I’m in school.”

“While I’d love to see her again, it’s nice to have the place to ourselves,” he said and again, she felt herself blush.

She led Jace over to the couch and they sat down.  Their eyes met and then the corners of Jace’s mouth curved down slightly.

“I’m really sorry I didn’t call sooner,” he said apologetically.

“Yeah, I’d kinda figured I wouldn’t be seeing you again,” she said softly.

“I was afraid you’d think that,” he said frowning even more. “I, uh, I need to be honest Kathryn.”

She looked over to him, wondering where this was headed.

“I needed some time to think about…about everything,” he said and she cringed knowing what was coming next.  Here came the gentle let down.  She knew Jace had been too good a guy to just never talk to her again.  He would do it in person.  “Everything you’ve been through and everything you’re still dealing with is…is pretty intense.  I’m not going to say it doesn’t worry me and not because of why you may think.  The fact you have a daughter or you live with Ben’s brother or that your
fiancé passed away doesn’t scare me…well, not too much,” he laughed and then turned serious again. “What scares me is that you’re not ready and you’ll get hurt.” He paused and she didn’t know what to say so she just kept listening. “Since I first met you at that stupid party, I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind,” he said laughing lightly. “Once you told me everything, I tried telling myself it was too much, that I wasn’t ready to be involved with someone who’s had…who’s gone through what you’ve gone though, someone with a kid.  I tried telling myself that, but it’s not true.  After meeting Sarah and just hanging out with you, I couldn’t tell myself that.”

She didn’t know what to say, so instead she carefully took his hand.

“I don’t blame you for being uneasy.  I am too,” she admitted and then looked down before she felt his hand nudge her chin gently until their eyes met.

“But, like I said, let’s just take this one day at a time and
see what happens.” He smiled reassuringly at her and she nodded.

“Sounds good,” she said smiling back.

“I hope my coming over doesn’t ruin any big plans you had,” he laughed.

“No, not all,” she reassured
him. “Your face is exactly what I needed to see today.”

It was his turn to blush.  He stared at her curiously, surprised at the different Kathryn sitting beside him.  Since meeting her, she had been so reserved with so many barriers and today it was as if they were suddenly torn down, like he could finally see inside her.

“So what do you want to do then?”

“How about order some Chinese food and watch movies all night with Sarah?”

“Sounds good to me.  When will she be home?”

“In a couple of hours.”

“And Luke won’t mind?” he asked raising an eyebrow.

“No.  He actually apologized for being such a jerk, so he shouldn’t be a problem.”

He just smiled and nodded and she silently hoped Luke would hold up his end of the bargain when he came home and saw Jace.

“Let’s go look up the menu online,” Kathryn said standing up and leading him down the hall to her room.  They walked inside and she opened her lap top while he sat down on the bed.  She fo
und the website for the restaurant and then she looked up to Jace who was looking around the room, undoubtedly at the various pictures and reminders of Ben and she realized how uncomfortable he must be.

“Does being here make you uncomfortable?” she asked quietly.

“No. Why would I be uncomfortable?” he said although she knew he was lying and his eyes focused on the picture of Ben she kept by his bed. “Ya know, Luke looks a lot like Ben.” He was still staring at the picture, eyeing it curiously and she realized he’d never seen a picture of Ben until now.

“Yeah, I guess he does,” she admitted.

He didn’t say anything, but then quickly looked away from the picture and back to her.

“Alright then, let’s look at the menu.”

She brought the laptop over and sat down next to him while they looked over the menu, deciding on sweet and sour chicken with lo mien and eggrolls.  Jace called in the order and they began talking as they waited for it to be delivered.

“So tell me about your life since I last saw you,” she said.

He leaned back, resting his head on a pillow while she sat Indian style at the end of the bed.

“Same ol’ same ol’,” he said with a smile. “Changed a lot of oil, rotated a bunch of tires, and replaced some brake pads.  Pretty exciting, huh?”

“Have you always liked working with cars?”

“Pretty much.  My dad taught me and my brothers all about cars growing up.  It’s pretty good money too, so I don’t mind it.”

“I don’t know anything about cars.  Ben used to give me a hard time about it.  He said I could hardly pump my own gas.  He liked cars too.  He had this big blue Chevy truck he was always tinkering with.  It drove me…” and then she stopped herself, realizing she was rambling on about Ben.  She looked at Jace who seemed to be looking away while she talked.

“I’m sorry.  I shouldn’t be talking…about…” and her voice trailed off.

“Hey, it’s okay,” he said, although she knew he didn’t like it.  She knew she wouldn’t like it if he was going on and on about an old girlfriend.

“So what do you want to watch?” she asked walking over to the TV and rummaging through her limited DVD collection.

“Whatever.  I’m not picky.  I’m really just here to see you, not a movie,” he said smiling at her, causing her to blush.

The doorbell rang and Kathryn grabbed her purse and walked to the front door, followed by Jace.  When she opened the door, he sneakily slipped the purse from her hand and reached into his pocket for his wallet, paying the delivery guy while Kathryn took the food.

“I was going to pay,” Kathryn said.

“No, you weren’t,” he smiled and they walked back to her room, setting
the Styrofoam containers on the bed.  Kathryn went into the kitchen for plates and sodas and returned to the room, where Jace was already biting into an eggroll.

“Thanks for waiting,” she said sarcastically.

“No problem,” he laughed, handing her one, which she set on the plate.  She put in the movie and then they sat on the floor dishing out the food. 

After they’d eaten
, they eventually made their way back onto the bed where Jace propped himself up with her pillows and Kathryn stretched out beside him.  She was glad he’d come over.  Having Jace beside her felt nice.  He carefully took her hand in his and as their fingers intertwined she was happy.  She’d forgotten how nice it was to lay next to someone and hold their hand, but as she let herself think about it more, she began to focus on the differences between Jace and Ben.  Ben’s hands had been familiar.  They were soft and they were always warm and they had fit perfectly with hers.  Jace’s hands were new and different.  They felt strong and rough in spots from all the work he’d done with cars over the years.  His fingers were long and seemed to dwarf hers.  His hands were slightly cold, but they felt good against her skin.  She smiled to herself, enjoying this time with him, but somehow she found her eyes wandering over to the picture on the nightstand and soon she was looking into the green flecked hazel eyes of Ben, his warm, smiling face staring back at her.  The face she’d stared at for so long and the face she had missed for the last two years.  She felt the familiar nagging begin to fill her body, telling her it was wrong to be here with Jace.  She shouldn’t be doing this.  It wasn’t right.  She loved Ben, but as she looked at his image frozen in time, she told herself for the millionth time that he was gone.  He would always be the person he was in the photograph.  He would always be nineteen and young and perfect.  She wouldn’t.  There was so much left to do in life and she felt paralyzed by the hold Ben had on her.  She couldn’t keep doing this.  All the beautiful feelings and memories she’d made with Ben began flooding back to her and she began to get angry that it had all been taken away.  Even when she tried to move on, she couldn’t let it go.  Here she was lying beside Jace, the person who had given her hope for the first time that things might be okay and yet, Ben was invading her thoughts again.