All of You (33 page)

D
anny grinned. “You
have absolutely no idea just how fucking adorable you are, do you, Kat?”

She reared back. “What do you mean?”

Danny shook his head, still smiling. “Nothing. Yes, sweetheart, that sounds like a great plan of attack.”

Kat leaned over and retrieved her glasses. “I’m going to need these to see what the hell I’m doing.”

She scooted over and gestured for Danny to lie where she’d just been. He obeyed, stretching out and inadvertently putting the current bane of Kat’s existence proudly on display.

She eyed his erection yet again.

Kat suddenly wished she could call a sister. Well, not Nina, since she was a lesbian, but any of her other three sisters. She’d never paid much attention to their sex talk in the past because Kat hadn’t planned on having any in the immediate future.

This was a decision she was seriously regretting right now. Kat could have used a day or two of note-taking, diagram-drawing, and Power Point presentations on the subject matter.

Kat inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly.

Go time.

She crawled over to Danny and flung her right leg over his waist, mounting him.

When Danny inhaled sharply, Kat’s head snapped up. “Did I hurt you?”

“
God, no…
” His hands came up and rested lightly on her hips. Danny slid them down and grabbed her butt. “You look so fucking sexy up there on top of me, that’s all.”

“Oh, okay,” she said, relieved that she hadn’t screwed anything up yet. Kat eyed his erection again. “Do you think I should guide it in or should you?”

“Why don’t you try?” Danny replied huskily, eyes latched onto the areas they were currently discussing. A second later, he muttered, “
Shit
.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I need to put a condom on.”

Kat nodded slowly. “Oh, yeah…of course. I should have thought of that.”

“I’m clean,” Danny said flatly. “I get tested every month. Just got a clean bill of health last week.” When Kat didn’t respond, he added, “I use a condom every single time, Kat. I always have. I swear to you.”

When Kat still didn’t respond – because she was suddenly overwhelmed with feelings she wasn’t quite able to identify – Danny blew out a hard breath and dropped his mask. “Are you about thinking how disgusting I am right now, Kat? ’Cause that’s sure as fuck what I’m thinking.” When she
still
didn’t say anything, Danny searched her eyes, “Please say something. Anything. For God’s sake…tell me I’m a pig…that I repulse you…that I don’t deserve to have you. Because you’d be right, about all of it.”

“I hate that you’ve slept with so many women,” Kat blurted. When Danny opened his mouth, she lifted a hand, silencing him. “Not because you did, but because I hate thinking about how alone and dirty you must have felt afterwards. I cannot imagine what it must have felt like to experience the most intimate experience two human beings can share and then walk away like it was nothing – over and over and over. You probably got used to it after a while, but, truly, Danny, I cannot imagine how you tolerated so much loss.”

Danny’s expression went flat again. “There were zero losses involved. I didn’t have relationships with any of those women. They were just dime-a-dozen sex partners who weren’t looking for anything more than a dick with a wallet. I used them, they used me, and that’s all there was to it.”

Kat nodded slowly, suddenly terrified she was about to join the ranks of Danny’s nameless, faceless cast-offs.

They didn’t have a relationship, either. Not really. Not beyond her sister being married to his friend. Of course, Kat knew Danny cared for her and that he had no intention of screwing her and never speaking to her again, but thinking they’d share this experience and then simply walk away as if it had never happened…

Danny might be able to handle it, but Kat knew it would be an emotional blow she’d never recover from.

“Hey…” Danny said, propping himself up on his elbows. “What are you thinking?”

Kat shook her head, unable to articulate her fears. Or maybe she was unwilling. Kat didn’t want to make a huge fool of herself by admitting to feelings she wasn’t sure Danny would welcome or want.

Without warning, he sat up and pulled her against his chest, forcing Kat’s legs to wind around his waist and her arms to grab his biceps for support. One of his hands found the small of her back while the other gently gripped the side of her face.

“Please talk to me, Kat.” Danny ran the pad of his thumb over her lower lip, searching her eyes. “Because that look on your face is breaking my fucking heart.”

“What’s going to happen after we do this, Danny?” she asked softly.

His brows dropped. “What do you mean?” Understanding dawned on his face and Danny shook his head. “No, no, no, that’s not what I meant. I told you, this is nothing like all that.”

“Why not?” Kat asked. “Of course I know you don’t view me as a ‘dime-a-dozen’ sex partner, but, really…what is this, Danny? What am I…to you?”

He stared at her for a few very long moments, before finally saying, “You really don’t know, do you?” Danny’s eyes crinkled with his bemused half-smile. “You honestly don’t have the slightest damn clue.” He stared straight into her eyes, his expression now as serious as she’d ever seen it. “I fucking love you, Kat. No, scratch that…I don’t just love you; I am so in love with you I can hardly breathe.”

Kat’s every muscle tensed, her breathing suspended, and her heart raced.

“You’re all I think about – pretty much all I’ve thought about since I met you. I tried fighting it for a while, because I didn’t think I had a shot in hell of getting anywhere near you. I fucked a lot of women, imagining every single one of them was you. I drank a lot of booze to try and get over it and blew a lot of smoke to cover it all up, but none of it worked.” Danny paused. “Because you’ve gotten inside me…into my, I don’t know, my bones, I guess. My heart. My fucking soul. I don’t know how and I don’t know when, but you’re there.” Danny’s eyes took in every inch of her face. “You are in every single one of my dreams.” A shadow crossed his face. “And you’re there when I wake up from every nightmare. I know you can’t possibly understand how incredible that is, Kat…but – trust me – it’s
everything
.”

Danny averted his eyes. “I don’t expect anything back from you. I’m not telling you all of this to pressure you into anything. I just need you to hear it.” His eyes lifted to hers again. “I need you to understand that you’re the only woman I’ve ever even come close to loving, Kat. And the only one I ever will love. And that I’ve felt more alive and I don’t know…
real
, somehow, in the past few days than I’ve felt in the past thirty-three years.”

Kat was in shock. A massive emotional shock, which was causing a temporary inability to speak, breathe, or move.

He is saying he loves you.

That he wants to be with you.

Nobody else…just
you.

And Danny meant every single word. Kat saw it in his eyes, felt it in his touch, and just knew it in her heart.

Her brain screamed at her to run away – for her sake and his – but her body wouldn’t allow it. No matter what huge mess they were about to get themselves into, Kat knew any fight she put up would be half-hearted and any resistance would be futile.

And she was just so damn sick of fighting.

“
I love you, too, Danny
,” Kat whispered.

A weird mix of confusion, fear, and disbelief flashed in his eyes.

“Don’t do that,” he said – his voice stiff, low, and strained.

Kat’s brows dropped. “Don’t do what?”

“Say it back. That’s not why I told you.”

“I know that.” Kat searched his face, her fingertips grazing his furrowed brows, the side of his face and his jaw line. “But I do.” She skated her fingertips across his bottom lip, gasping when Danny’s tongue darted out to lick at them. He pulled one into his warm, wet mouth and sucked, constricting her chest and robbing her of breath.

Her chest rising and falling hard and her eyes firmly locked onto his, Kat whispered, “I didn’t expect to. I didn’t want to…” She gasped again when his hand fisted into the hair at the base of her skull and, with a quick tug, he pulled their faces very, very close.

Quick, hard pants escaped through his parted lips as his eyes searched every inch of her face once again…this time as if searching for traces of deception.

Or truth.

Kat gripped his chin, his eyes found hers, and she stared deeply into them. “I’m in love with you, Danny.”

With a strangled moan, Danny yanked their lips together, hard. Their mouths melded, his one hand still fisted in her hair and the other pressing into Kat’s lower back, pulling their bodies tight against each other. Kat wound her arms around his neck and went after his bottom lip, tugging it between her teeth and sucking like he’d done to hers so many times before…releasing it to deftly slide her tongue into Danny’s open mouth…

Which he received with a grateful moan that made Kat feel like the sexiest, most desired woman on earth.

Kat didn’t lie.
She didn’t sugarcoat, blow smoke, or dance around things, either. So, logically, Danny knew her words were sincere.

But that didn’t make believing them any easier.

The most he’d hoped for was kind acceptance of his pathetic declaration. Danny thought maybe, if he was lucky, Kat might say she cared for him, too, and they could continue on with their shit bared and intentions made clear.

He never,
ever
thought she’d say she loved him back….because he never would have thought it possible she
could
love him back.

Hearing her say it had knocked the wind out of him. Twisted him into knots. Scrambled his damn brain.

Kat was the first woman he’d ever said that to, but she was also the first one who’d ever said it to him.

Sure, he’d had his share of mid-fuck, drunken declarations of love, and, yeah, there had been that time Sarah Chisholm had slipped him an “I luv u…do you luv me?” note in fourth grade. (Danny had checked
no
, which had brought an abrupt end to that love affair, anyway).

But that wasn’t quite the same as having the woman you were crazy in love with say it…in that soft, sexy voice of hers, while she stared up at you like she was dying to devour you whole.

Danny had never felt such intensity of emotion in his life. And he’d never been so fucking turned on in his life, either.

Which was why he flipped Kat onto her back, positioned himself on top of her, and pressed the head of his dick at the entrance of her body.

Shit.

Danny broke away from their kiss, leaned over, and grabbed a condom out of the nightstand.

The hundreds and hundreds of other times he’d performed that very maneuver flashed through his brain and Danny paused, feeling like a very different man than the one who had engaged in all of that hollow craziness.

That lost, lonely man suddenly seemed like a total stranger to him and his gut twisted up at the thought of ever living like that again.

Danny hated that man and that life. He always had, but it was who he’d had to become to survive and how he’d had to live to get by.

But now
she
was here.

And she loved him.

Not the fake him.

Just…
him
.

Until this complete insanity wears off, her patience with your bullshit wears thin, and she eventually leaves your ass.

Then, what, asshole?

“Danny?” He jerked when her lips grazed his nipple. Kat’s hands slid down to cup his ass and squeezed, making his mouth water and his vision haze. “Hurry, Danny…”

He shifted to straddle her again, yellow Trojan wrapper in hand.

Kat eyed it before meeting his eyes with a tiny smile. “So, who usually puts it on? You or your lady friends?”

Danny’s throat constricted as his thoughts returned to all those other encounters. “Me.”

“Okay, then. Me, it is.” Kat took it from him, ripped the top of the wrapper off, and pulled the condom out. Her face scrunched up. “
Ick
…feels gross and smells even worse.”

She manipulated the rolled-up condom between her fingertips, studying it, before seemingly getting the gist of how it worked.

Whatever loss of erection he’d experienced from over-thinking disappeared the second Kat touched his dick. She positioned the condom on the tip and slowly rolled it down his shaft until it was fully unfurled.

Kat nodded slowly, seemingly pleased with her handiwork. “Not bad for the first time, if I do say so myself.” She looked up at Danny. “Ready?” When he nodded, Kat patted his sides. “Okay, then let’s get me on top.”

Uh,
fuck yeah.

A few seconds
later, Kat was straddling him. She positioned herself, gently grabbing onto Danny’s now slippery erection and glancing down between them. With some finagling, she managed to get the tip of his penis in contact with some part of her labia.

“
Shit, Kat…
” Kat glanced up. Danny shook his head a few times, hand lifted. “No, it’s fine, sweetheart. Keep going. Just feels so damn good…”

Kat positioned the tip again and then moved it around, trying to figure out how to get it where it was supposed to go.

Without much luck.

It felt amazing – Danny’s silky hardness rubbing against her slick folds – but it wasn’t catching anywhere. It wasn’t inserting like Kat knew it was obviously supposed to.

She positioned it again at the entrance to her body, flattened her palms against Danny’s pecs, and tried sliding down on it.

His hand’s tightened on her hips. “Oh, yeah, Kat…right there…” He pushed his pelvis up, Kat pushed her body down, and they managed to get something inside of her. “Oh,
fuck yeah
,” Danny gritted out, pushing into her with very shallow, very slow, controlled movements. “God, Kat, that feels so damn good…”

It didn’t hurt, but it was slightly uncomfortable. It burned a little as he stretched her, but, overall, the experience wasn’t as nearly painful as Kat had expected.