Always and Forever (48 page)

“Let me feel how badly you want me.” He growls, harshly
biting my neck.

The vulgarity of his words causes me to dry heave. Any
minute now I’m going to throw up all over him and it will serve him right.
Maybe then I’ll be able to make my escape. I’d rather be covered in my own
vomit right now than feel his hands on me for another second longer.

He has one hand fisted in my hair and the other scrambling
between my legs. I feel like I’m going to die, it’s going to happen any minute
now; it’s not possible for me to feel this way and expect to live. I can’t have
any part of this monster inside me. God help me, please, someone help me…

My phone’s ringtone plays out for the fourth time,
distracting him from his savage invasion.

“Please, don’t do this. You can leave now; you don’t have
to do this! I won’t say anything to anybody, just let me go!” I sob
uncontrollably, tears streaming down my face.

Surely his conscience will stop him? There must be
something inside of him that will prevent him from doing this. There has to be.

“Turn that fucking thing off!” He yells, yanking his hand
from the inside of my underwear to reach for my phone.

 I struggle to free myself from him when he tries
searching the back pocket of my jeans. I’m certain he’ll destroy it if he
manages to find it and I’m not about to let that happen. My phone is the one
remaining connection I have to Jake, even if I can’t answer his calls, the
thought of him on the other end of that phone is my only saviour.

“Stop!” I wail, pummelling my fists against him, attempting
to wound him in any way that I can.  

“Tell me that you want me.” He moans loudly, rubbing his
stubble covered cheek against my own. It scratches and feels like tiny shards
of glass are trying to cut into my skin.

 My mind can’t even process what he wants me to say.
In my head all I can see is Jake, the boy that I love, the one who has saved me
so many times. Even though he’s not here I can still feel his presence, I can
feel him near me, he surrounds me as though he’s here, even though I know it’s
impossible.

I’m shaken roughly when I fail to respond to my attacker.

“I won’t it.” I refuse, clenching my teeth together.

“Admit the truth; I know what a little whore like you
really wants, you can’t fool me.”

His breath crawls all over me, making me nauseas. I will
never say those words to him, I won’t demean myself that way and I will never
betray my own heart.

“Never!” I cry, vehemently shaking my head.

“I can make you say it.” He threatens me, twirling a strand
of my hair between his fingers.

I glare at him, wanting him to know the true extent of my
hatred for him. I have no feelings for this animal. If he were to drop dead at
my feet right now I’d walk away from him without a backwards glance. I see no
soul when I look into his eyes. There is not a single trace of human kindness
behind them. I’ll never let him convince me that I ‘asked’ for this. I won’t
allow him to make me falsely admit that I want him just so he can make himself
feel better about what he’s doing.

I clamp my lips together when he tries to force my mouth
open with his tongue, trying to invade it. I writhe and squirm and flail
against him, frantically keeping his face away from mine. The smell of alcohol
on his breath makes me balk and retch; any second now I really will puke all
over him.

My phone starts to ring once more and I desperately angle
my body, trying to free my hands so I can reach it. He violently grabs either
side of my face, holding me in place as he crushes his putrid, repellent mouth
over mine. The only thing I can think of to fight back is to clamp my teeth
down on his lower lip. He releases a torturous howl of pain as I sink my teeth
into him and he shoves me away from him so that I fall backwards onto the ground.
He’s on top of me before I can even scream for help. He slaps me again and the
pain is excruciating, it’s so bad I feel as though I could pass out at any
moment.

I’m beyond petrified; the heavy weight of this evil,
revolting human being on top of me finally pushes me over the metaphorical
cliff I was clinging to for the sake of my sanity. My subconscious somehow
manages to fool me into believing that I can actually hear Jake’s voice. I
don’t know whether I’m hallucinating or unconscious but I can hear him calling
my name and it’s a mesmerising, magnificent comfort. I close my eyes, wanting
to submerge myself in the tranquillity his presence brings me, even if it isn’t
real.

The beast on top of me runs his hands all over my body,
tearing at my clothes and whispering vulgar obscenities into my ear,
threatening to wrench me out of my hallucinogenic state. The next thing I hear
is the sound of heavy footsteps racing towards us, they quicken in speed as
they draw closer and then I hear a lot of shouting and a murderous voice coming
from a difference direction. I’m so confused, I can’t determine who’s calling
my name but I can distinctly hear it being spoken. Jake’s voice has become so
clear in my head; I’m mistaking it for what’s actually happening here and now.

 My attacker jumps up and I gasp for air when the
unbearable weight is removed from me. He scrambles to his feet and is already
running away when my blurred vision allows me to witness him being powerfully
tackled to the ground. I’m dazed and unsure of what’s real and what isn’t. Am I
dreaming? Am I unconscious? I close my eyes, praying for my head to stop
spinning.

The next time I open my eyes I can barely believe the sight
before me. It really is Jake; I had been right all along, it
was
him
calling my name. I watch in horror as Jake’s fists fall upon my aggressor’s
face over and over and over again. The stranger is on the ground and
defenceless, feebly trying to protect himself by covering his bloodied face
with his hands.

 Enraged that his victim is attempting to protect
himself, Jake prises his hands away from his face and continues to pelt his
relentless fists against him. I can hear the man’s wailing and his cries for
help. The sound is so terrible; it forces to cover my ears to block out the
dreadful noise. This is the same man that hurt me, he was going to rape me and
he enjoyed watching my fear, a few minutes ago I truly believe I would be happy
to see this piece of scum die.

Now I know different.

 I’m not like him; I don’t take delight in watching
other people’s pain and I can’t bring myself to take any satisfaction in this
brutal beating, even if it is on my behalf.

“Get the fuck up!” Jake orders, landing one cold-blooded
kick to his face.

 The fury in Jake’s voice is alarming and it reminds
me what Jake is really capable of. I don’t like to think about it but when the
evidence is right here before me, I can’t deny that the man I love is
dangerous.

The one who posed as such a threat to me just a few moments
ago is now almost lifeless; he’s nothing but a conquered, defeated, bloody mess
lying on the ground. Jake pauses for a second to regain his breath and I make
the foolish mistake of assuming that he is finally done with his violent
onslaught. When Jake’s fist ferociously collides with the beaten body on the
ground once more, I realise he’s not even close to finishing his torrent of
abuse. He firmly grabs a hold of the mess before him and forces him to his
feet. I gasp in astonishment when Jake head-butts him, knocking him straight
back down. Three more ferocious kicks are inflicted to the stranger’s stomach
and I watch in terror as he coughs up blood.

 I don’t even recognise Jake anymore; his warm, loving
eyes are ablaze with hatred and a fury that’s so formidable, I’ve never seen
anything like it.

“Jake…” I whisper croakily, somehow managing to pull myself
up onto my feet.

I don’t know if he will listen to me but I’ve got to do
something, I’ve got to stop this before its too late.

“Stand up!” Jake demands, grabbing him by the scruff of his
neck. “Stand the fuck up and fight me, you worthless piece of shit. You think
I’m going to let you get away with this?! You don’t
ever
touch her! I’m
going to fucking kill you!” Jake shouts, kicking the nearly unconscious man in
the face.

“Jake, stop it!” I scream, racing over towards them and
tugging on his arm, desperate to put a stop to this insane, illogical frenzy.

“How dare you think that you could touch her?!” Jake roars,
smashing his fist into the unrecognisable face before me.

It’s as though I’m in the presence of a madman. He’s lost
his mind I no longer have any influence over Jake or his actions, I’m not even
sure if he can hear me over the deafening chaos and disorder going on inside
his head.

 I look around us helplessly, searching for an answer
or an idea that could help me figure out what to do. We’re in the middle of the
road with a few houses scattered further down the street, surely someone must
be able to hear what’s going on. Why has nobody come out here to help us? Maybe
someone has phoned the police already, they could be here any minute with their
sirens and flashing lights, ready to arrest Jake instead of the one who
deserves to be in prison for what he was about to do to me.

“Jake, that’s enough! Please!”

It’s pointless; he won’t even look at me. He’s so intent on
exacting his revenge; I’m not even visible to him anymore. Jake’s knuckles are
grazed and bleeding, the skin torn and split. He has his victim’s blood
splattered all over his clothes, making him appear unreachable and monstrous.

Jake can’t kill this guy, I won’t let him. I know it’s
foolish to throw myself into the middle of this but I can’t just stand here and
watch Jake seal his own fate. I cover my eyes when Jake delivers another four
strikes to the defenceless heap at his feet. Jake will be responsible for
ending this guy’s life if I don’t intervene and I will not allow him to become
a murderer to protect me.

“Bethany, I saw what he was doing to you! He was going to
rape you! I’m not going to let him get away with this. I’m not going to stop
until this piece of shit is dead.”

The conviction in his eyes is enough to convince me that he
means what he says. I can’t let him do this, I refuse to lose him and if I
don’t do something to stop him Jake will be spending the rest of his life in
prison.

“Stop. Please.” An inaudible, unfamiliar voice croaks.

We both pause and look down; I barely heard what he said.
He’s so weak and shattered; it must have taken all of his strength to utter
those two words. He’s begging Jake to stop with his unrelenting beating and I
glare at Jake, willing him to see sense and listen to his conscience.

“What’s that? Did you just ask me to stop? I bet that’s
what she said, didn’t she? Did you listen to her? Did you fucking stop? NO! I’m
going to make you suffer, you’ll wish you were dead by the time I’m finished
and you know what? I might just grant you your wish.” Jake says bitterly,
lunging for him again.

“Jake, this is madness! You’re going to kill him!” I cry
despairingly.

“Good! I want to kill him! He was hurting you, Bethany! I
saw him and I know what he was going to do. If I hadn’t got here when I did…”

Jake stands over the man lying half dead on the ground, his
foot hovers over his face, ready to wound him beyond repair.

“Jake, this isn’t you. You’re better than this and you’re
better than him. He’s an animal and you’re only lowering yourself to his
level.” I say, desperately trying to reason with him.

 Jake’s harrowing glare finally settles down on me.
He’s breathless and exhausted but the piercing ice behind his eyes still
remains.  

“Why
should I stop? You don’t want to be with me and
I’m nothing without you. I don’t care about anything anymore if you’re no
longer mine. You think I care if I go to prison for this? I’ll go willingly if
it means I get to live with the satisfaction of knowing that I’m the one who
killed this sick bastard. He was going to rape you!” He explodes.

I’ve never seen Jake like this; agony is etched all over
his face, showing the insuperable depth of his suffering. Why would he think I
no longer want to be with him? My whole being and entire soul yearns for him.
The reason I won’t allow him to commit this unforgivable crime is because I
love him so dearly, I won’t let him do this to me or to himself. Of course it’s
my own fault. The amount of times I’ve ran out on him, how can I blame him for
his doubts?

“Jake, I love you and I’m not going anywhere.” I speak
calmly, needing him to trust and believe in my certainty.